You Walk Out and I Wake Up - a gift for bblackdahlia
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. All fics posted at this community were written entirely for fun and no copyright infringement is intended.
Title: You Walk Out and I Wake Up
Author: thebigdisaster
Gift for: bblackdahlia
Pairing: Hermione/Charlie
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 4744
Summary: She holds him at arm’s length cause someone else hurt her. She keeps him in the dark and he still sticks around. She knows she isn’t treating him right, but is at a loss of how to stop it. When he finally walks out she knows something’s got to change.
A/N: Special thanks to inadaze22 for betaing and the last minute and for listening to me whine every single day on gmail. You're the absolute greatest.
Hermione’s words came out in a ragged sigh. "We shouldn't be doing this." She closed her eyes and bit her lip. It was all she could do to keep him from clouding her mind.
"Probably not," Charlie agreed huskily as he gently tugged on her hair, "But that hasn't stopped us before."
She gasped, tilting her head tilted back. This was most definitely a losing battle.
Every time they did this, Hermione had every intention of stopping it before it got too far, but then he would start in on her neck like he was doing right now and she couldn’t seem to form a coherent sentence. She needed to stop, think, and she was almost sure that there was something she needed to say. She struggled to remain lucid, but she was losing the battle. He began to whisper in her ear and she remembered exactly what the problem with all of this was. She kissed him softly before pulling away.
Charlie moved in again, but she gently pushed him away and firmly stated, "We need to stop. We need to think."
He ran a hand over his tousled hair, groaning in frustration. "What's there to think about?"
She smoothed out her shirt. Being around Charlie was making her the epitome of every stupid romance novel she had ever read. Nevertheless, she knew the truth. She should not be in this broom closet with him-not with things the way they were. It just wasn't right. "There's a lot to think about, Charlie." Hermione snapped, her eyes burning into his. "Let’s start with the fact that as soon as we leave this closet you're going to act like I don't exist?"
His eyes darkened, "And whose fault is that, Hermione? You're the one that wanted to keep everything a secret. You're the one that doesn't want anyone to know."
Hermione adverted her eyes to the floor, "I never said that. I just said that I didn't want to flaunt us in front of Ron."
"Which is completely ridiculous, might I add.” Charlie rolled his eyes and asked, “Whose fault is it that you two broke up?"
"His, but-"
"Exactly. He's the one who cheated on you. He's the one that got drunk and got that bint pregnant. Why do you insist on letting what he did rule your life? You have every right to move on." Charlie argued for what seemed like the fifth time in this month alone. The complaint hadn’t changed, but neither had the answer. He was playing by her rules and pretending that nothing was going on between them. And while it worked for him in the very beginning, he’d grown weary of the game. Charlie wanted to be with her in every sense of the word. He wanted to tell everyone that she was his. He wanted so much more than what she was giving him, but he had taken it anyway simply because he believed that if he stuck through this, she would realise that he wasn’t his brother.
"I know," she murmured, still refusing to meet his eyes.
He sighed and tilted her chin up, "Why’s it so important what everyone thinks? He doesn’t care Hermione. He's in there flaunting her. She’s having his child!” He kissed her slowly, taking his time, savouring the taste of her. Charlie loved kissing her. Even when he was mad as hell, it was still one of the greatest thrills he had ever experienced. Tracing her face lovingly, he pulled away. “Is there really something so wrong with being with me?"
"No," Hermione answered quietly. Standing on her toes, she kissed him again. "I just need time."
“It’s been six months!” he argued hotly. “How much more time do you need?”
“Charlie,” she took his hand in hers, tracing it lightly. She had every appearance of being the calm one, but when she spoke again her voice was shaking. “I know it’s been a long time. I don’t need to be reminded every time we talk.”
He squeezed her hand. He was still angry, but he wouldn’t lose his cool any more than he already had. The last thing he wanted to do was display the temper his whole family shared-the same temper his brother had unleashed on her on more than one occasion. Ron had never hit her, but he’d hurt her with words, which was more damaging. “I don’t remind you every time we talk,” he said tensely. “I remind you whenever you’re being daft by pushing me away.” Charlie sighed. “What have I done Hermione?”
She shook her head, “You haven’t done anything, Charlie. It’s just that I don’t know what to make of this. I don’t want…” she trailed off, not knowing what to say Everything she could possibly think of sounded wrong, “I just need time.”
Kissing her hand gently, he turned to leave, "Well, you've got it. Take as much of it as you need, but don't expect me to wait forever." He opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. He smiled at her over his shoulder and said, “What’s it going to take for you to realize I’m not him?”
Hermione watched him go in shock. Sure they had this fight quite a few times before, but he’d never walked out. They had been in fights far worse than this and he still stayed the night. Of course this was the first time this fight occurred when they were fully clothed and not on the brink of exhaustion.
Why did she keep doing this to him? He was good to her, much better than Ron had ever been. Being with him was like breathing: natural and necessary. Ron had been like a tornado: messy and devastating. Charlie didn't deserve to pay for Ron's mistakes. She just didn’t know how to trust him not to repeat them. She was so scared to get back into something again. Ron was the first serious relationship that she had ever had and he had been so good in the beginning. He had been loving, wonderful, and she had trusted him explicitly. He had broken that trust in the end and she didn’t know how to extend it to someone else.
She fingered the locket Ron had given her with his first pay check from the Chudley Cannons. She really should take it off. It wasn't worth wearing anymore, and to be honest, she hated the damn thing. It was gold and gaudy, but she’d kept it on to avoid hurting Ron’s feelings. And…wow, what had she been thinking? How had she allowed herself to justify something so stupid? Who cared what Ron thought? He had a wife, and soon, he would have a child. He shouldn’t care if she wore his stupid locket anymore.
Intent on throwing it away, Hermione quickly tried to unclasp it, but the bloody thing was stuck.
Funny, it was just as difficult as Ron had been.
Wonderful.
Hermione growled in frustration as she tugged and pulled at the necklace. Why wouldn’t the damn thing just come off?
Finally, with a fierce tug, it broke. Her neck was a little sore, but she would survive. Hermione stared at the broken necklace in her hand for just one moment before dropping it on the floor and walking out the door.
She didn’t need it anymore.
****
Charlie stormed down the stairs, hot with anger that he couldn’t express.
He opened retrieved his coat, fully intent on leaving. He was going to do what she’d asked him; he was going to give her time. But, he was also going to give her distance. If Hermione’s feelings for him were true, then she would have to come to him on her own.
Shit, he’d waited six months, he could wait another six-damn he was whipped.
After putting on his coat, Charlie was met with the sight of a glaring-and very pregnant-Ginny. Where in the hell had she come from? Her hands were on her hips, and in a tone very similar to their mother’s, she asked, “And where the hell do you think you’re going?”
He sighed. He had been planning on making a quick exit. “Gin, I need to go.”
“Why? You promised that you’d stay tonight.” She said, using her infamous puppy dog eyes. “You’re only in town for the weekend and if you leave now you’re going to miss the rest of mum and dad’s anniversary party.” He had promised to stay the night at Grimmauld Place with her since Harry was out on an Auror mission. She didn’t want to be pregnant, hormonal, and alone, and she and Charlie had a lot of catching up to do.
“Ask Hermione, Gin.” He opened the front door. “I need to get out for awhile.”
“She has to work tomorrow,” she waved her hand dismissively. Ginny stared at him. “What the hell is going on Charlie? I haven’t seen you in months, and when I finally do, you're rushing out the door again. It's not like we've ever been especially close or anything, but you promised to stay. Why can't you just stay?" Ginny asked as tears came to her eyes.
Charlie wrapped his scarf around his neck and shrugged, "I just need some time to think." He took one look at her and sighed. "I'll come back after everyone else leaves okay?"
Ginny nodded, "And then you're bloody going to tell me what the hell has got you going like this."
He opened the door, walked out, and looked back at his worried sister. "Okay,"
And he shut the door behind him.
Being in the cold was not something Charlie particularly enjoyed, but at the moment it was providing some clarity.
He did love Hermione, but she was obviously not over Ron.
.
Ron.
Ron, whether he knew it or not, was always standing in the middle of Charlie and Hermione’s relationship, hindering it. And while he loved his little brother, Ron worried him. He’d always had a problem with being himself. When Ron was younger, he always felt like he was inferior-like he had to find ways to be better. After his accomplishment in the war, Charlie had been very proud of him. He’d thought Ron had finally come into his own, and for awhile it seemed he had. Only, when he joined the Chudley Cannons, he got caught up in trying to live the fast life with his teammates.
And the decisions he’d made had changed everything, including his relationship with Hermione.
Charlie wasn’t the first to try and talk some sense into him, nor was he the last. At that time, he hadn’t been attracted to Hermione. She was the solicitor for the dragon reserve, and as the reserve’s representative, he’d worked very closely with her. He tried to tell Ron that he was on the verge of losing a good woman, but as always, Ron was too stubborn and hot-headed for the conversation to do much good.
Charlie recalled the night of Ron and Hermione’s final fight quite clearly.
*Flashback*
The knock on his door startled Charlie out of bed. It was early. Too early. But somehow, he pulled himself together and quickly answered the door. To his utmost surprise, standing there was a red-faced Hermione. "What happened?" He opened the door wider for her to come in.
Hermione took a deep, cleansing breath. "A woman flooed today. She was looking for Ron. She told me that they’d met at a party, and he had told her to contact him so that they could meet up again." She took a moment to calm herself down before continuing, "She hung up quite suddenly when I told her that I was Ron’s girlfriend.” Hermione clenched her fists. “I tried to talk to him about it tonight. I didn't yell, at least not at first, but he kept evading me. Eventually I just asked him if he had cheated on me and he started screaming about how I don't trust him and why couldn't I just let him do what he wanted." She ran her hand over her thick hair, "We got into a huge fight. I honestly don't think there's an unbroken thing in our bedroom right now."
"Who did it?"
"I did." She laughed hoarsely, "I started chucking things at his head after the 'overbearing cow' and 'you're not my mum' remarks. I'm tired, Charlie. I'm tired of coming home to an empty house. I don't know if I can be with him anymore." She looked at him desperately, “I don’t know what to do right now.” She covered her face with her hands. “This is just too much. He hasn’t been home for weeks, and how else could that girl have known where to floo?”
“I don’t know.” Charlie replied, not sure what else to tell her. “Are you going to go home?”
Hermione shrugged, “I think I have to. I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
When she rose to leave, he grabbed her arm gently, “You should stay here for the night.”
“I don’t want to impose. I’ll just go back to the apartment.” She frowned, “Besides I think Ron’s gone. Surprise, surprise.”
“Look, you’re upset, and I’m not going to let you Apparate like this.” Charlie pulled her towards the bedroom, but first they stopped at the linen closet just outside of his room. “There’s a bed. Do us both a favour, and sleep in it.”
“But where are you going to sleep?”
“On the couch.” He laughed, “Where else would I sleep?”
She smiled, but didn’t seem comfortable. “I really should just go.”
Charlie ignored her and threw her a blanket. "Just get in the damn bed, Hermione. You look like hell, and we have a full day tomorrow." She began to protest, again, but he stopped her, "I can sleep anywhere. You can't. So just go to bed." He pulled a pillow and blanket off the bed before smiling at her.
She flashed one in return and walked towards his room, "Thanks Charlie."
*End of flashback*
In Hindsight, he could pinpoint the exact moment that he had started wanting her. It was just before she walked into his bedroom, just when she’d smiled that thankful, relieved smile. Merlin, his heart had started to race just from that alone. He wasn’t sure why, but taking care of her felt like something he was meant to do.
And he'd done it every day since.
He wouldn't go back to his house in Romania. That was the absolute worst thing he could do right now. There were traces of her everywhere, and right now he was fine enough with just her in his thoughts.
Those thoughts were driving him batty enough as it was.
Batty. He smiled at the word. She had often driven him to that state. She never meant to, but the witch never could make up her mind. One minute she wanted him. Then the next minute she still wasn't over Ron. One minute, she was ready to move on and the next, she was so stuck in the past that it was all he could do to get her out of bed. She was perpetually stuck in the past and he didn’t know quite when she would get out, but he would stick beside her because he loved her anyways.
Charlie sighed.
It had never been easy, but there were so many moments in the last six months that reminded him why he had stayed with her Those moments that they had stolen out of the chaotic and tiring lives that they’d led. Sometimes, he looked to those moments to convince him that they were okay; that there was absolutely nothing to worry about. They also served to remind him that what they had was real, and not some fling. He was sure that if she could just let go of what Ron had done to her, nothing would stop them from being together. He couldn’t help but remember their first kiss.
*Flashback*
“Charlie,” she gasped then glared at him through squinted eyes, “You did not tell me that it would hurt this much.”
He squeezed her hand and smiled. “I didn’t want you to chicken out. You’re the one that said that you wanted to live a little more.”
Getting a tattoo wasn’t exactly conducive to her image as golden girl intellectual extraordinare. But ever since she and Ron had broken up, she hadn’t stopped talking about all the things that she wanted to do. Getting a tattoo was one of the things that she’d insisted on.
Charlie had kept his mouth shut about the pain. She was in no way masochistic, and he’d watched with pride as she bore the pain with nothing more than heavy breathing and squeezing the life out of his hand. His hand was cramping, but he knew that she needed someone to hold her hand through this It had never been easy, but there were so many moments in the last six months that reminded him why he had stayed with her -literally and figuratively.
And he had been holding her hand.
He’d helped her move into a new flat, talked to her through all hours of the night, and he’d fielded her calls from Ron, which had driven an even bigger wedge between himself and his brother. Ron had already done all the begging and pleading that his pride would allow, and was currently in the ignoring phase. Hermione didn’t exist and, because Charlie was helping her, he didn’t either.
“I didn’t mean I wanted to feel like I was being stabbed to death by a needle with ink on it!”
Charlie laughed, “You’ll be fine. Just breathe. They’re almost done.”
Hermione huffed, “Does it at least look good?”
She had chosen to get ‘luctor et emergo’ tattooed on her right shoulder blade. It meant ‘I struggle and emerge’ in Latin, and it went perfectly with her current situation. She was definitely struggling with her break-up from Ron. He’d been such a huge part of her life for nine years, and then he changed, they changed, and now he wasn’t a part of her life anymore. Some days she struggled to move forward with her life. It was people like Charlie, Harry, and Ginny that helped her through. Besides, Hermione had been through worse, and she would emerge from this stronger than she was before.
“It looks good.”
Hermione snorted, “Yes, that’s a relief. If it doesn’t turn out well, I’m going to hex you.”
Charlie struggled not to laugh as she prattled on about tattoos involving too much pain and she couldn’t understand how he had three. As she began to start on about how mad she was at him, he lost it. His body shook with uncontrollable laughter. “I’m sorry.” He breathed between laughs. She looked so funny lying on a table with her red face and angry, squinting eyes.
“Why are you laughing at me? This is not funny. I’m in pain, Charlie. Real pain. It’s not funny.” She stopped when she saw the tears of mirth running down his cheeks. Indignation took over, “How is this funny? Really! I would love to see you laugh with a needle in your back.”
“Maybe, if you’d stop making those faces, I’d stop laughing.”
“My face in pain is funny to you?” she growled at him, “Stop laughing. You look ridiculous.”
Charlie continued to laugh and when he finally stopped to breathe he apologized, “I’m sorry. It’s just, I haven’t laughed in a really long time, and you’re being so bloody funny about this.”
Hermione rolled her eyes, “Is he at least close to being done?”
“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? You’re going to be here for a while, and I don’t think you want a tattoo that says struggle do you?”
“No.” She replied petulantly, “There is nothing you can say that would make this any less painful.”
He squeezed her hand, “I’m sorry.”
“Just distract me,” She pleaded.
“I can do anything?”
“Anything.”
“Okay.” Charlie knelt so that his face was level with hers. She looked at him questioningly, but he just smiled. “You said to distract you.” He pressed his lips to hers. He hadn’t intended to, but it was just too tempting. Hermione shivered at the contact, and Charlie took it as a sign to continue. And he began to kiss her thoroughly, his tongue languidly exploring her mouth. It was every bit as good as he ‘d imagined it would be.
Meanwhile, Hermione was in another world. Hermione-land. And in Hermione-land, all she could taste and feel was Charlie. It wasn’t until several moments after he ended the kiss that she finally managed to shakily ask, “What was that?”
“That was me distracting you.”
She smiled, “I think you need to distract me some more.”
*End of Flashback*
Even three months after it had occurred, Charlie could still not tell anyone what had possessed him in that moment to kiss her. But he could say one thing: he didn’t regret it. That kiss had led to many of the best nights of his life.
Hell, that night was one of the best nights of his life.
If he really thought about it, Charlie supposed that kissing her was his way of telling her that he fancied her. It wasn’t such a stretch, though. Charlie had never been eloquent when it came to his feelings. He often said things in the simplest way possible. Kissing her was the simplest-and most effective-way of telling her how he felt. It was also the best way of judging if she felt the same. Her trembling form couldn’t confirm it, but her enthusiastic response had.
He looked at his watch and sighed.
It was time to head back.
****
Hermione sat in the kitchen staring at the ceiling.
Everyone had left for home hours ago, Ginny had gone to bed, and she was waiting for Charlie to come back. It was a tedious thing, this waiting. Normally, she had a plethora of patience, but this was wearing on her nerves and she didn’t like being nervous.
He’d been gone so long that she wondered if he’d changed his mind about waiting. Of course, it would be a little silly if he said he’d wait for her and he only lasted a couple of hours, but he’d been waiting for months. If he decided that she wasn’t worth it, Hermione couldn’t blame him. She’d done nothing but give him a headache for the entire time they’d been together.
And she was ready and willing to do anything to make it up to him.
Charlie walked into the kitchen and her hands immediately started to sweat.
“Hey.”
He looked at her for a moment, “What are you still doing here?”
She took a deep breath, trying to smile, “I was waiting for you.” She clasped her hands together nervously.
How exactly did one go about this? For the life of her she couldn’t remember a single situation that she had been in or read about that would help her through this. If ever there was a time for her books to fail her, this was not it.
“How was the rest of the party?” Charlie could tell that something was different about her. Her hair was the same, her body had not changed, she was wearing exactly what she wore to the party, but still something was missing.
She struggled against the shake in her voice, “It was fine. Did you have a nice walk?”
He nodded. What was different? He gave her another thorough glance. She was wearing the earrings he’d bought her two weeks ago, she still had on that friendship bracelet that she never took off, and she had on her…wait. Her necklace was gone. That stupid necklace that Ron had given her all that time ago was not around her neck. “Where’s your necklace?”
Her hand flew to her neck and she blushed, “I decided that I didn’t need to wear it anymore.”
“That’s good.” He stared at his feet and refrained from growling in frustration.
Were they really this awkward?
In the entire time that he had known her, they had never been this nervous.
He began to say her name, but she cut him off, “Charlie, I’m sorry.”
“Oh.” Charlie took a deep breath in an attempt to assuage his mounting anger, and then he ran a hand through his red hair. “Well didn’t take you long to decide, did it?” He couldn’t meet her eyes. Hermione was ending it, he was sure. And while he really didn’t want to hear the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ excuse, Charlie really didn’t want her to see him react to the rejection. It had been a good six months. He wanted more-needed more-but he supposed half a year was time enough.
He would move on. He always did.
“What?” Hermione asked as her brow furrowed in confusion, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Look I get it, it’s over.” Charlie faked a yawn and stretched. He would deal with this on his own. Without her. He inwardly cringed, hating those two words. “I’m going to go to bed. I guess I’ll see you around.” He began to walk up the stairs.
Hermione stood in shock unable to move. “But-”
Charlie didn’t stop. He didn’t look back. He didn’t do anything except for continuing up the stairs. He wouldn’t look back because if he did, the dam that he had been holding back would break, and Charlie Weasley did not break.
“Charlie!” Hermione ran after him. As she caught up to him, she grabbed his hand, “That’s not what I meant when I said I was sorry.”
He turned around, hand still clasped in hers, “What?”
She hurried to explain, “I meant, I’m sorry for the way I’ve been treating you, and I will do anything to make this up to you. I’ll do anything to make you stay. With me.” Her heart was racing. She hadn’t prepared for any of this-not that she could. And if he rejected her, she didn’t know what she would do.
Charlie blinked in disbelief. “You mean you-we. We’re going to do this? Properly?”
Hermione smiled tentatively, happy and frightened all at the same time. “Yes, if you want.” She blushed and mumbled, “If you want to. I-I don’t want to pressure you into anything. I’ve been a very poor…whatever we are…and I don’t want to-”
Charlie cut her off with a kiss that Hermione was initially too shocked to respond to, but he didn’t care. He kept kissing her, and it wasn’t long before she wrapped her arms around his neck and was right there with him.
When she pulled away minutes later, Charlie put his hand over her mouth and said, “Don’t say anything, okay?” When she nodded he continued, “You’re not pressuring me into anything. I’ve wanted you for so long that you couldn’t possibly imagine how happy I am right now.” He hugged her close, speaking lowly into her ear, “We’re going to go on a real date tomorrow. I’m going to take you to that new restaurant in Diagon Alley that we kept avoiding because we were scared to be seen and I’m going to tell mum that I’ve met someone.” Hermione cocked a brow and Charlie smiled “Oh, yes. She’s been on about me seeing a nice girl for ages. It’ll be very interesting to see her reaction to the fact that not only do I have the perfect girl, but that that girl is the one that she’s been trying to get into the family since she met her.”
Hermione pushed his hand away. “Can I say something?”
He shook his head, “I have better ideas for tonight.”
“By all means feel free to share.”
“Oh, believe me, I intend to.”
Title: You Walk Out and I Wake Up
Author: thebigdisaster
Gift for: bblackdahlia
Pairing: Hermione/Charlie
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 4744
Summary: She holds him at arm’s length cause someone else hurt her. She keeps him in the dark and he still sticks around. She knows she isn’t treating him right, but is at a loss of how to stop it. When he finally walks out she knows something’s got to change.
A/N: Special thanks to inadaze22 for betaing and the last minute and for listening to me whine every single day on gmail. You're the absolute greatest.
Hermione’s words came out in a ragged sigh. "We shouldn't be doing this." She closed her eyes and bit her lip. It was all she could do to keep him from clouding her mind.
"Probably not," Charlie agreed huskily as he gently tugged on her hair, "But that hasn't stopped us before."
She gasped, tilting her head tilted back. This was most definitely a losing battle.
Every time they did this, Hermione had every intention of stopping it before it got too far, but then he would start in on her neck like he was doing right now and she couldn’t seem to form a coherent sentence. She needed to stop, think, and she was almost sure that there was something she needed to say. She struggled to remain lucid, but she was losing the battle. He began to whisper in her ear and she remembered exactly what the problem with all of this was. She kissed him softly before pulling away.
Charlie moved in again, but she gently pushed him away and firmly stated, "We need to stop. We need to think."
He ran a hand over his tousled hair, groaning in frustration. "What's there to think about?"
She smoothed out her shirt. Being around Charlie was making her the epitome of every stupid romance novel she had ever read. Nevertheless, she knew the truth. She should not be in this broom closet with him-not with things the way they were. It just wasn't right. "There's a lot to think about, Charlie." Hermione snapped, her eyes burning into his. "Let’s start with the fact that as soon as we leave this closet you're going to act like I don't exist?"
His eyes darkened, "And whose fault is that, Hermione? You're the one that wanted to keep everything a secret. You're the one that doesn't want anyone to know."
Hermione adverted her eyes to the floor, "I never said that. I just said that I didn't want to flaunt us in front of Ron."
"Which is completely ridiculous, might I add.” Charlie rolled his eyes and asked, “Whose fault is it that you two broke up?"
"His, but-"
"Exactly. He's the one who cheated on you. He's the one that got drunk and got that bint pregnant. Why do you insist on letting what he did rule your life? You have every right to move on." Charlie argued for what seemed like the fifth time in this month alone. The complaint hadn’t changed, but neither had the answer. He was playing by her rules and pretending that nothing was going on between them. And while it worked for him in the very beginning, he’d grown weary of the game. Charlie wanted to be with her in every sense of the word. He wanted to tell everyone that she was his. He wanted so much more than what she was giving him, but he had taken it anyway simply because he believed that if he stuck through this, she would realise that he wasn’t his brother.
"I know," she murmured, still refusing to meet his eyes.
He sighed and tilted her chin up, "Why’s it so important what everyone thinks? He doesn’t care Hermione. He's in there flaunting her. She’s having his child!” He kissed her slowly, taking his time, savouring the taste of her. Charlie loved kissing her. Even when he was mad as hell, it was still one of the greatest thrills he had ever experienced. Tracing her face lovingly, he pulled away. “Is there really something so wrong with being with me?"
"No," Hermione answered quietly. Standing on her toes, she kissed him again. "I just need time."
“It’s been six months!” he argued hotly. “How much more time do you need?”
“Charlie,” she took his hand in hers, tracing it lightly. She had every appearance of being the calm one, but when she spoke again her voice was shaking. “I know it’s been a long time. I don’t need to be reminded every time we talk.”
He squeezed her hand. He was still angry, but he wouldn’t lose his cool any more than he already had. The last thing he wanted to do was display the temper his whole family shared-the same temper his brother had unleashed on her on more than one occasion. Ron had never hit her, but he’d hurt her with words, which was more damaging. “I don’t remind you every time we talk,” he said tensely. “I remind you whenever you’re being daft by pushing me away.” Charlie sighed. “What have I done Hermione?”
She shook her head, “You haven’t done anything, Charlie. It’s just that I don’t know what to make of this. I don’t want…” she trailed off, not knowing what to say Everything she could possibly think of sounded wrong, “I just need time.”
Kissing her hand gently, he turned to leave, "Well, you've got it. Take as much of it as you need, but don't expect me to wait forever." He opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. He smiled at her over his shoulder and said, “What’s it going to take for you to realize I’m not him?”
Hermione watched him go in shock. Sure they had this fight quite a few times before, but he’d never walked out. They had been in fights far worse than this and he still stayed the night. Of course this was the first time this fight occurred when they were fully clothed and not on the brink of exhaustion.
Why did she keep doing this to him? He was good to her, much better than Ron had ever been. Being with him was like breathing: natural and necessary. Ron had been like a tornado: messy and devastating. Charlie didn't deserve to pay for Ron's mistakes. She just didn’t know how to trust him not to repeat them. She was so scared to get back into something again. Ron was the first serious relationship that she had ever had and he had been so good in the beginning. He had been loving, wonderful, and she had trusted him explicitly. He had broken that trust in the end and she didn’t know how to extend it to someone else.
She fingered the locket Ron had given her with his first pay check from the Chudley Cannons. She really should take it off. It wasn't worth wearing anymore, and to be honest, she hated the damn thing. It was gold and gaudy, but she’d kept it on to avoid hurting Ron’s feelings. And…wow, what had she been thinking? How had she allowed herself to justify something so stupid? Who cared what Ron thought? He had a wife, and soon, he would have a child. He shouldn’t care if she wore his stupid locket anymore.
Intent on throwing it away, Hermione quickly tried to unclasp it, but the bloody thing was stuck.
Funny, it was just as difficult as Ron had been.
Wonderful.
Hermione growled in frustration as she tugged and pulled at the necklace. Why wouldn’t the damn thing just come off?
Finally, with a fierce tug, it broke. Her neck was a little sore, but she would survive. Hermione stared at the broken necklace in her hand for just one moment before dropping it on the floor and walking out the door.
She didn’t need it anymore.
****
Charlie stormed down the stairs, hot with anger that he couldn’t express.
He opened retrieved his coat, fully intent on leaving. He was going to do what she’d asked him; he was going to give her time. But, he was also going to give her distance. If Hermione’s feelings for him were true, then she would have to come to him on her own.
Shit, he’d waited six months, he could wait another six-damn he was whipped.
After putting on his coat, Charlie was met with the sight of a glaring-and very pregnant-Ginny. Where in the hell had she come from? Her hands were on her hips, and in a tone very similar to their mother’s, she asked, “And where the hell do you think you’re going?”
He sighed. He had been planning on making a quick exit. “Gin, I need to go.”
“Why? You promised that you’d stay tonight.” She said, using her infamous puppy dog eyes. “You’re only in town for the weekend and if you leave now you’re going to miss the rest of mum and dad’s anniversary party.” He had promised to stay the night at Grimmauld Place with her since Harry was out on an Auror mission. She didn’t want to be pregnant, hormonal, and alone, and she and Charlie had a lot of catching up to do.
“Ask Hermione, Gin.” He opened the front door. “I need to get out for awhile.”
“She has to work tomorrow,” she waved her hand dismissively. Ginny stared at him. “What the hell is going on Charlie? I haven’t seen you in months, and when I finally do, you're rushing out the door again. It's not like we've ever been especially close or anything, but you promised to stay. Why can't you just stay?" Ginny asked as tears came to her eyes.
Charlie wrapped his scarf around his neck and shrugged, "I just need some time to think." He took one look at her and sighed. "I'll come back after everyone else leaves okay?"
Ginny nodded, "And then you're bloody going to tell me what the hell has got you going like this."
He opened the door, walked out, and looked back at his worried sister. "Okay,"
And he shut the door behind him.
Being in the cold was not something Charlie particularly enjoyed, but at the moment it was providing some clarity.
He did love Hermione, but she was obviously not over Ron.
.
Ron.
Ron, whether he knew it or not, was always standing in the middle of Charlie and Hermione’s relationship, hindering it. And while he loved his little brother, Ron worried him. He’d always had a problem with being himself. When Ron was younger, he always felt like he was inferior-like he had to find ways to be better. After his accomplishment in the war, Charlie had been very proud of him. He’d thought Ron had finally come into his own, and for awhile it seemed he had. Only, when he joined the Chudley Cannons, he got caught up in trying to live the fast life with his teammates.
And the decisions he’d made had changed everything, including his relationship with Hermione.
Charlie wasn’t the first to try and talk some sense into him, nor was he the last. At that time, he hadn’t been attracted to Hermione. She was the solicitor for the dragon reserve, and as the reserve’s representative, he’d worked very closely with her. He tried to tell Ron that he was on the verge of losing a good woman, but as always, Ron was too stubborn and hot-headed for the conversation to do much good.
Charlie recalled the night of Ron and Hermione’s final fight quite clearly.
*Flashback*
The knock on his door startled Charlie out of bed. It was early. Too early. But somehow, he pulled himself together and quickly answered the door. To his utmost surprise, standing there was a red-faced Hermione. "What happened?" He opened the door wider for her to come in.
Hermione took a deep, cleansing breath. "A woman flooed today. She was looking for Ron. She told me that they’d met at a party, and he had told her to contact him so that they could meet up again." She took a moment to calm herself down before continuing, "She hung up quite suddenly when I told her that I was Ron’s girlfriend.” Hermione clenched her fists. “I tried to talk to him about it tonight. I didn't yell, at least not at first, but he kept evading me. Eventually I just asked him if he had cheated on me and he started screaming about how I don't trust him and why couldn't I just let him do what he wanted." She ran her hand over her thick hair, "We got into a huge fight. I honestly don't think there's an unbroken thing in our bedroom right now."
"Who did it?"
"I did." She laughed hoarsely, "I started chucking things at his head after the 'overbearing cow' and 'you're not my mum' remarks. I'm tired, Charlie. I'm tired of coming home to an empty house. I don't know if I can be with him anymore." She looked at him desperately, “I don’t know what to do right now.” She covered her face with her hands. “This is just too much. He hasn’t been home for weeks, and how else could that girl have known where to floo?”
“I don’t know.” Charlie replied, not sure what else to tell her. “Are you going to go home?”
Hermione shrugged, “I think I have to. I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
When she rose to leave, he grabbed her arm gently, “You should stay here for the night.”
“I don’t want to impose. I’ll just go back to the apartment.” She frowned, “Besides I think Ron’s gone. Surprise, surprise.”
“Look, you’re upset, and I’m not going to let you Apparate like this.” Charlie pulled her towards the bedroom, but first they stopped at the linen closet just outside of his room. “There’s a bed. Do us both a favour, and sleep in it.”
“But where are you going to sleep?”
“On the couch.” He laughed, “Where else would I sleep?”
She smiled, but didn’t seem comfortable. “I really should just go.”
Charlie ignored her and threw her a blanket. "Just get in the damn bed, Hermione. You look like hell, and we have a full day tomorrow." She began to protest, again, but he stopped her, "I can sleep anywhere. You can't. So just go to bed." He pulled a pillow and blanket off the bed before smiling at her.
She flashed one in return and walked towards his room, "Thanks Charlie."
*End of flashback*
In Hindsight, he could pinpoint the exact moment that he had started wanting her. It was just before she walked into his bedroom, just when she’d smiled that thankful, relieved smile. Merlin, his heart had started to race just from that alone. He wasn’t sure why, but taking care of her felt like something he was meant to do.
And he'd done it every day since.
He wouldn't go back to his house in Romania. That was the absolute worst thing he could do right now. There were traces of her everywhere, and right now he was fine enough with just her in his thoughts.
Those thoughts were driving him batty enough as it was.
Batty. He smiled at the word. She had often driven him to that state. She never meant to, but the witch never could make up her mind. One minute she wanted him. Then the next minute she still wasn't over Ron. One minute, she was ready to move on and the next, she was so stuck in the past that it was all he could do to get her out of bed. She was perpetually stuck in the past and he didn’t know quite when she would get out, but he would stick beside her because he loved her anyways.
Charlie sighed.
It had never been easy, but there were so many moments in the last six months that reminded him why he had stayed with her Those moments that they had stolen out of the chaotic and tiring lives that they’d led. Sometimes, he looked to those moments to convince him that they were okay; that there was absolutely nothing to worry about. They also served to remind him that what they had was real, and not some fling. He was sure that if she could just let go of what Ron had done to her, nothing would stop them from being together. He couldn’t help but remember their first kiss.
*Flashback*
“Charlie,” she gasped then glared at him through squinted eyes, “You did not tell me that it would hurt this much.”
He squeezed her hand and smiled. “I didn’t want you to chicken out. You’re the one that said that you wanted to live a little more.”
Getting a tattoo wasn’t exactly conducive to her image as golden girl intellectual extraordinare. But ever since she and Ron had broken up, she hadn’t stopped talking about all the things that she wanted to do. Getting a tattoo was one of the things that she’d insisted on.
Charlie had kept his mouth shut about the pain. She was in no way masochistic, and he’d watched with pride as she bore the pain with nothing more than heavy breathing and squeezing the life out of his hand. His hand was cramping, but he knew that she needed someone to hold her hand through this It had never been easy, but there were so many moments in the last six months that reminded him why he had stayed with her -literally and figuratively.
And he had been holding her hand.
He’d helped her move into a new flat, talked to her through all hours of the night, and he’d fielded her calls from Ron, which had driven an even bigger wedge between himself and his brother. Ron had already done all the begging and pleading that his pride would allow, and was currently in the ignoring phase. Hermione didn’t exist and, because Charlie was helping her, he didn’t either.
“I didn’t mean I wanted to feel like I was being stabbed to death by a needle with ink on it!”
Charlie laughed, “You’ll be fine. Just breathe. They’re almost done.”
Hermione huffed, “Does it at least look good?”
She had chosen to get ‘luctor et emergo’ tattooed on her right shoulder blade. It meant ‘I struggle and emerge’ in Latin, and it went perfectly with her current situation. She was definitely struggling with her break-up from Ron. He’d been such a huge part of her life for nine years, and then he changed, they changed, and now he wasn’t a part of her life anymore. Some days she struggled to move forward with her life. It was people like Charlie, Harry, and Ginny that helped her through. Besides, Hermione had been through worse, and she would emerge from this stronger than she was before.
“It looks good.”
Hermione snorted, “Yes, that’s a relief. If it doesn’t turn out well, I’m going to hex you.”
Charlie struggled not to laugh as she prattled on about tattoos involving too much pain and she couldn’t understand how he had three. As she began to start on about how mad she was at him, he lost it. His body shook with uncontrollable laughter. “I’m sorry.” He breathed between laughs. She looked so funny lying on a table with her red face and angry, squinting eyes.
“Why are you laughing at me? This is not funny. I’m in pain, Charlie. Real pain. It’s not funny.” She stopped when she saw the tears of mirth running down his cheeks. Indignation took over, “How is this funny? Really! I would love to see you laugh with a needle in your back.”
“Maybe, if you’d stop making those faces, I’d stop laughing.”
“My face in pain is funny to you?” she growled at him, “Stop laughing. You look ridiculous.”
Charlie continued to laugh and when he finally stopped to breathe he apologized, “I’m sorry. It’s just, I haven’t laughed in a really long time, and you’re being so bloody funny about this.”
Hermione rolled her eyes, “Is he at least close to being done?”
“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? You’re going to be here for a while, and I don’t think you want a tattoo that says struggle do you?”
“No.” She replied petulantly, “There is nothing you can say that would make this any less painful.”
He squeezed her hand, “I’m sorry.”
“Just distract me,” She pleaded.
“I can do anything?”
“Anything.”
“Okay.” Charlie knelt so that his face was level with hers. She looked at him questioningly, but he just smiled. “You said to distract you.” He pressed his lips to hers. He hadn’t intended to, but it was just too tempting. Hermione shivered at the contact, and Charlie took it as a sign to continue. And he began to kiss her thoroughly, his tongue languidly exploring her mouth. It was every bit as good as he ‘d imagined it would be.
Meanwhile, Hermione was in another world. Hermione-land. And in Hermione-land, all she could taste and feel was Charlie. It wasn’t until several moments after he ended the kiss that she finally managed to shakily ask, “What was that?”
“That was me distracting you.”
She smiled, “I think you need to distract me some more.”
*End of Flashback*
Even three months after it had occurred, Charlie could still not tell anyone what had possessed him in that moment to kiss her. But he could say one thing: he didn’t regret it. That kiss had led to many of the best nights of his life.
Hell, that night was one of the best nights of his life.
If he really thought about it, Charlie supposed that kissing her was his way of telling her that he fancied her. It wasn’t such a stretch, though. Charlie had never been eloquent when it came to his feelings. He often said things in the simplest way possible. Kissing her was the simplest-and most effective-way of telling her how he felt. It was also the best way of judging if she felt the same. Her trembling form couldn’t confirm it, but her enthusiastic response had.
He looked at his watch and sighed.
It was time to head back.
****
Hermione sat in the kitchen staring at the ceiling.
Everyone had left for home hours ago, Ginny had gone to bed, and she was waiting for Charlie to come back. It was a tedious thing, this waiting. Normally, she had a plethora of patience, but this was wearing on her nerves and she didn’t like being nervous.
He’d been gone so long that she wondered if he’d changed his mind about waiting. Of course, it would be a little silly if he said he’d wait for her and he only lasted a couple of hours, but he’d been waiting for months. If he decided that she wasn’t worth it, Hermione couldn’t blame him. She’d done nothing but give him a headache for the entire time they’d been together.
And she was ready and willing to do anything to make it up to him.
Charlie walked into the kitchen and her hands immediately started to sweat.
“Hey.”
He looked at her for a moment, “What are you still doing here?”
She took a deep breath, trying to smile, “I was waiting for you.” She clasped her hands together nervously.
How exactly did one go about this? For the life of her she couldn’t remember a single situation that she had been in or read about that would help her through this. If ever there was a time for her books to fail her, this was not it.
“How was the rest of the party?” Charlie could tell that something was different about her. Her hair was the same, her body had not changed, she was wearing exactly what she wore to the party, but still something was missing.
She struggled against the shake in her voice, “It was fine. Did you have a nice walk?”
He nodded. What was different? He gave her another thorough glance. She was wearing the earrings he’d bought her two weeks ago, she still had on that friendship bracelet that she never took off, and she had on her…wait. Her necklace was gone. That stupid necklace that Ron had given her all that time ago was not around her neck. “Where’s your necklace?”
Her hand flew to her neck and she blushed, “I decided that I didn’t need to wear it anymore.”
“That’s good.” He stared at his feet and refrained from growling in frustration.
Were they really this awkward?
In the entire time that he had known her, they had never been this nervous.
He began to say her name, but she cut him off, “Charlie, I’m sorry.”
“Oh.” Charlie took a deep breath in an attempt to assuage his mounting anger, and then he ran a hand through his red hair. “Well didn’t take you long to decide, did it?” He couldn’t meet her eyes. Hermione was ending it, he was sure. And while he really didn’t want to hear the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ excuse, Charlie really didn’t want her to see him react to the rejection. It had been a good six months. He wanted more-needed more-but he supposed half a year was time enough.
He would move on. He always did.
“What?” Hermione asked as her brow furrowed in confusion, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Look I get it, it’s over.” Charlie faked a yawn and stretched. He would deal with this on his own. Without her. He inwardly cringed, hating those two words. “I’m going to go to bed. I guess I’ll see you around.” He began to walk up the stairs.
Hermione stood in shock unable to move. “But-”
Charlie didn’t stop. He didn’t look back. He didn’t do anything except for continuing up the stairs. He wouldn’t look back because if he did, the dam that he had been holding back would break, and Charlie Weasley did not break.
“Charlie!” Hermione ran after him. As she caught up to him, she grabbed his hand, “That’s not what I meant when I said I was sorry.”
He turned around, hand still clasped in hers, “What?”
She hurried to explain, “I meant, I’m sorry for the way I’ve been treating you, and I will do anything to make this up to you. I’ll do anything to make you stay. With me.” Her heart was racing. She hadn’t prepared for any of this-not that she could. And if he rejected her, she didn’t know what she would do.
Charlie blinked in disbelief. “You mean you-we. We’re going to do this? Properly?”
Hermione smiled tentatively, happy and frightened all at the same time. “Yes, if you want.” She blushed and mumbled, “If you want to. I-I don’t want to pressure you into anything. I’ve been a very poor…whatever we are…and I don’t want to-”
Charlie cut her off with a kiss that Hermione was initially too shocked to respond to, but he didn’t care. He kept kissing her, and it wasn’t long before she wrapped her arms around his neck and was right there with him.
When she pulled away minutes later, Charlie put his hand over her mouth and said, “Don’t say anything, okay?” When she nodded he continued, “You’re not pressuring me into anything. I’ve wanted you for so long that you couldn’t possibly imagine how happy I am right now.” He hugged her close, speaking lowly into her ear, “We’re going to go on a real date tomorrow. I’m going to take you to that new restaurant in Diagon Alley that we kept avoiding because we were scared to be seen and I’m going to tell mum that I’ve met someone.” Hermione cocked a brow and Charlie smiled “Oh, yes. She’s been on about me seeing a nice girl for ages. It’ll be very interesting to see her reaction to the fact that not only do I have the perfect girl, but that that girl is the one that she’s been trying to get into the family since she met her.”
Hermione pushed his hand away. “Can I say something?”
He shook his head, “I have better ideas for tonight.”
“By all means feel free to share.”
“Oh, believe me, I intend to.”