(no subject)
I have such a headache. I suppose I am to blame. I'd like to say that it was having to try and show my mother the mac mini and have her be just... so incredibly slow about it and me being impatient, but I know that's not it. It's because I had spent the day wondering if it was a right move that I cut off a dearly loved friend of mine. I didn't want to. Lord knows that if I could, I'd cling to him for dear life and never let go. I had been feeling like I didn't really get a chance to just... chat with him... for a very long time. I never know what's going on with his life. I never know when he's gotten a new pet until he's got pictures of it up. I just... I'm never up-to-date with him, and I never like asking him how he is or asking him questions about WHO he is.
And he noticed I cut him off a lot quicker than I expected. And he messaged me back to a message I'd sent him a couple days ago. I'd figured he'd stopped caring about me because the message had said he'd read it.. but there was no reply back. It cut me quite a bit, but I failed to realize that he was dealing with his own things lately. He always is, and I don't know why I was blind to it. The fact that he'd declared himself on a hiatus was a clear sign, and I knew that he had things to do, but I guess I just hadn't accepted it. And I confessed to him how I was feeling, and he graciously gave me the opportunity to learn.... a lot about him. A lot more than I expected.
But from it, I was able to realize I knew more about him than I thought, well before I read what he shared.
Half of the things he shared? I'd already figured out were in his experiences. Half of them simply horrified me. They made me shake. Less in sympathy for him and more in rage at others. His dad makes my dad look like Jesus.
But your experiences don't make me hate you, Nat.
If anything, they strengthen how much I love and appreciate you.
.... and yes. You really are the snot that I can't get rid of.
And he noticed I cut him off a lot quicker than I expected. And he messaged me back to a message I'd sent him a couple days ago. I'd figured he'd stopped caring about me because the message had said he'd read it.. but there was no reply back. It cut me quite a bit, but I failed to realize that he was dealing with his own things lately. He always is, and I don't know why I was blind to it. The fact that he'd declared himself on a hiatus was a clear sign, and I knew that he had things to do, but I guess I just hadn't accepted it. And I confessed to him how I was feeling, and he graciously gave me the opportunity to learn.... a lot about him. A lot more than I expected.
But from it, I was able to realize I knew more about him than I thought, well before I read what he shared.
Half of the things he shared? I'd already figured out were in his experiences. Half of them simply horrified me. They made me shake. Less in sympathy for him and more in rage at others. His dad makes my dad look like Jesus.
But your experiences don't make me hate you, Nat.
If anything, they strengthen how much I love and appreciate you.
.... and yes. You really are the snot that I can't get rid of.