ifihadameadow & memoria_
Author: ifihadameadow
Title: Breaking and Leaving
Pairing: Draco/Remus
Challenge: I will find a center in you/I will chew it up and leave/I will work to elevate you/just enough to bring you down. - Tool, Sober
Draco told himself he needed a toy- someone to bend and break at will. Someone to fill the gap in his soul.
Remus didn’t agree. He didn’t break.
Draco got frustrated.
But Remus was always there, and once Draco asked him why.
“I need a toy,” Remus answered, as he flicked his lighter shut and inhaled the smoke from his cigarette into his lungs. When the answer didn’t satisfy Draco, Remus put the cigarette carefully in the ashtray, delicate like he could sometimes be, then pinned Draco’s hands to the wall and whispered huskily, hovering over him. “I will chew you up and leave.” And when Remus bit his throat, Draco thought that he really should have stopped worrying about catching lycanthropy by now.
Draco got angry. He should have the upper hand. That was something he always had.
So when Draco took a long knife, hid it in his sleeve and suggested to Remus that they have a glass of wine as a farewell, cunningly leaving that bit out, he was surprised when he started choking.
“I told you I would be the one to leave you,” Remus said evenly, and put the poison back into his pocket.
Author: Cori (memoria_)
Title: The Weakness In Me
Rating: R
He didn’t want to be with him. It was sick, Lupin was a werewolf and he wasn’t even particularly attractive. And Malfoys just weren’t supposed to be with lower creatures like him. Why was he, then? Why was he, Draco Malfoy, drawn to this werewolf? Draco told himself he needed a toy - someone to bend and break at will. Someone to fill the gap in his soul. It sounded like a perfect explanation to him.
At first he thought Lupin would be the perfect person to be his toy. He appeared weak, he had been rejected by most of the Wizarding Community and all of his old friends were dead. And he was supposed to be good, something Draco could never be. Yes, Remus was the perfect toy.
It wasn’t as easy as that, though; Draco noticed that soon enough. The werewolf wasn’t as weak as he appeared to be. Sometimes he was rather strong and he pinned Draco down on the hard wooden floor, taking him with rough, even strokes, not even asking if Draco wanted it to be like this. Draco screamed and his tears mingled with the drops of sweat and he always came in a long shudder, feeling ashamed of himself. At these times Draco thought he was the weak one.
He didn’t give up though. He waited until after the full moon, when Remus was exhausted, and then he took him the way he wanted to take him. He threw him against the door or bent him over a table; he took him from behind, quick and hard; or he made him look into his eyes, while whispering into his ears what a foul and dirty creature he was. Those were the times Draco thought he was right, that Remus was his toy and that he’d be able to break him.
“I’m going to break you,” Draco would always say with a faint smile on his lips, and he’d feel very content and satisfied with himself.
Remus didn’t agree. He didn’t break. He just let Draco do with him whatever he wanted and then he came back, even stronger than before and made Draco do things he had never dreamt of doing.
He made Draco feel; things he’d never felt before; feelings he never wanted to have. Draco wanted to get rid of these feelings, wanted to be strong like his father had been, wanted to be more than just a disgrace to the Malfoy name.
He couldn’t get away, though. He kept meeting with Remus, kept playing the power game, always hoping that he could still win, that he could be the strong one in this game. He revelled in the memories of the times when he won, and he shut out the times when he’d been the submissive one.
Draco got frustrated. After month and month of going back and forth, he still didn’t know why he was doing this. Why was he going back to him, again and again? It was a lost cause, he couldn’t win, Remus was too strong to be broken. Why did he still feel the need to meet him, though?
By that time he had realized that he couldn’t just stay away from Lupin. It was like a magical bond, strong and powerful, and whenever Draco was away from the werewolve he felt a strong ache in his stomach, so painful he thought he couldn’t live any longer. He figured he must be sick or under a spell.
But there was on thing Draco knew: he had to end it. This wasn’t the way his life should be, it wasn’t how he had planned it. His plans had been different, he had wanted to marry an appropriate girl after Hogwarts, a beautiful and wealthy bride from a renowned pureblood family, and then he wanted to have one male heir, just like it had always been Malfoy family tradition.
Sometimes Draco thought back to the time when he had actually expected to marry Pansy Parkinson after school. What a ridiculous idea that had been. It wasn’t that Pansy wouldn’t be suitable; she was pureblood, she was relatively pretty and generally he had always gotten along quite well with her. There was something wrong with her though, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.
Draco knew that with the current situation he couldn’t realize his plans, so he had to change it. And because he was obviously unable to do so by himself, because he just couldn’t stay away from Remus, he decided to just wait until the werewolf would stop coming to him. But Remus was always there, and once Draco asked him why.
“I need a toy,” Remus answered, as he flicked his lighter shut and inhaled the smoke from his cigarette into his lungs. When the answer didn’t satisfy Draco, Remus put the cigarette carefully in the ashtray, delicate like he could sometimes be, then pinned Draco’s hands to the wall and whispered huskily, hovering over him. “I will chew you up and leave.”
And when Remus bit his throat, Draco thought that he really should have stopped worrying about catching lycanthropy by now.
After that the situation did indeed change, but not in a way Draco liked. Remus got stronger, much stronger than before. Even the times after the full moon wouldn’t make him weak enough to bend to Draco’s will and Draco felt like now he was constantly “the week one”. He didn’t like it, not one bit. This way, he couldn’t tell himself any longer that all of this was just power play. He had to admit to himself that he was the submissive one, weak and obedient. He was the toy.
Draco got angry. He should have the upper hand. That was something he always had.
And so he tried to be strong again, in every way he could imagine. He tried to insult Remus, tried to hurt him, emotionally and physically, but in the end it was always himself who felt pain. He didn’t want to be in pain anymore, he wanted everything to be like it had been before this. Draco knew he couldn’t end it as long as Remus was there; he had to get rid of him. It was an easy task, Draco figured, Remus was good, he’d never suspect it.
So when Draco took a long knife, hid it in his sleeve and suggested to Remus that they have a glass of wine as a farewell, cunningly leaving that bit out, he was surprised when he started choking.
“I told you I would be the one to leave you,” Remus said evenly, and put the poison back into his pocket.
And in these last few seconds of his life, his last few choked breaths, Draco realized one thing. Something that had never occurred to him before, because such things didn’t happen to Malfoys. He realized that the strong ache in his stomach hadn’t been sickness or a curse at all, but something entirely different.
FIN
Title: Breaking and Leaving
Pairing: Draco/Remus
Challenge: I will find a center in you/I will chew it up and leave/I will work to elevate you/just enough to bring you down. - Tool, Sober
Draco told himself he needed a toy- someone to bend and break at will. Someone to fill the gap in his soul.
Remus didn’t agree. He didn’t break.
Draco got frustrated.
But Remus was always there, and once Draco asked him why.
“I need a toy,” Remus answered, as he flicked his lighter shut and inhaled the smoke from his cigarette into his lungs. When the answer didn’t satisfy Draco, Remus put the cigarette carefully in the ashtray, delicate like he could sometimes be, then pinned Draco’s hands to the wall and whispered huskily, hovering over him. “I will chew you up and leave.” And when Remus bit his throat, Draco thought that he really should have stopped worrying about catching lycanthropy by now.
Draco got angry. He should have the upper hand. That was something he always had.
So when Draco took a long knife, hid it in his sleeve and suggested to Remus that they have a glass of wine as a farewell, cunningly leaving that bit out, he was surprised when he started choking.
“I told you I would be the one to leave you,” Remus said evenly, and put the poison back into his pocket.
Author: Cori (memoria_)
Title: The Weakness In Me
Rating: R
He didn’t want to be with him. It was sick, Lupin was a werewolf and he wasn’t even particularly attractive. And Malfoys just weren’t supposed to be with lower creatures like him. Why was he, then? Why was he, Draco Malfoy, drawn to this werewolf? Draco told himself he needed a toy - someone to bend and break at will. Someone to fill the gap in his soul. It sounded like a perfect explanation to him.
At first he thought Lupin would be the perfect person to be his toy. He appeared weak, he had been rejected by most of the Wizarding Community and all of his old friends were dead. And he was supposed to be good, something Draco could never be. Yes, Remus was the perfect toy.
It wasn’t as easy as that, though; Draco noticed that soon enough. The werewolf wasn’t as weak as he appeared to be. Sometimes he was rather strong and he pinned Draco down on the hard wooden floor, taking him with rough, even strokes, not even asking if Draco wanted it to be like this. Draco screamed and his tears mingled with the drops of sweat and he always came in a long shudder, feeling ashamed of himself. At these times Draco thought he was the weak one.
He didn’t give up though. He waited until after the full moon, when Remus was exhausted, and then he took him the way he wanted to take him. He threw him against the door or bent him over a table; he took him from behind, quick and hard; or he made him look into his eyes, while whispering into his ears what a foul and dirty creature he was. Those were the times Draco thought he was right, that Remus was his toy and that he’d be able to break him.
“I’m going to break you,” Draco would always say with a faint smile on his lips, and he’d feel very content and satisfied with himself.
Remus didn’t agree. He didn’t break. He just let Draco do with him whatever he wanted and then he came back, even stronger than before and made Draco do things he had never dreamt of doing.
He made Draco feel; things he’d never felt before; feelings he never wanted to have. Draco wanted to get rid of these feelings, wanted to be strong like his father had been, wanted to be more than just a disgrace to the Malfoy name.
He couldn’t get away, though. He kept meeting with Remus, kept playing the power game, always hoping that he could still win, that he could be the strong one in this game. He revelled in the memories of the times when he won, and he shut out the times when he’d been the submissive one.
Draco got frustrated. After month and month of going back and forth, he still didn’t know why he was doing this. Why was he going back to him, again and again? It was a lost cause, he couldn’t win, Remus was too strong to be broken. Why did he still feel the need to meet him, though?
By that time he had realized that he couldn’t just stay away from Lupin. It was like a magical bond, strong and powerful, and whenever Draco was away from the werewolve he felt a strong ache in his stomach, so painful he thought he couldn’t live any longer. He figured he must be sick or under a spell.
But there was on thing Draco knew: he had to end it. This wasn’t the way his life should be, it wasn’t how he had planned it. His plans had been different, he had wanted to marry an appropriate girl after Hogwarts, a beautiful and wealthy bride from a renowned pureblood family, and then he wanted to have one male heir, just like it had always been Malfoy family tradition.
Sometimes Draco thought back to the time when he had actually expected to marry Pansy Parkinson after school. What a ridiculous idea that had been. It wasn’t that Pansy wouldn’t be suitable; she was pureblood, she was relatively pretty and generally he had always gotten along quite well with her. There was something wrong with her though, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.
Draco knew that with the current situation he couldn’t realize his plans, so he had to change it. And because he was obviously unable to do so by himself, because he just couldn’t stay away from Remus, he decided to just wait until the werewolf would stop coming to him. But Remus was always there, and once Draco asked him why.
“I need a toy,” Remus answered, as he flicked his lighter shut and inhaled the smoke from his cigarette into his lungs. When the answer didn’t satisfy Draco, Remus put the cigarette carefully in the ashtray, delicate like he could sometimes be, then pinned Draco’s hands to the wall and whispered huskily, hovering over him. “I will chew you up and leave.”
And when Remus bit his throat, Draco thought that he really should have stopped worrying about catching lycanthropy by now.
After that the situation did indeed change, but not in a way Draco liked. Remus got stronger, much stronger than before. Even the times after the full moon wouldn’t make him weak enough to bend to Draco’s will and Draco felt like now he was constantly “the week one”. He didn’t like it, not one bit. This way, he couldn’t tell himself any longer that all of this was just power play. He had to admit to himself that he was the submissive one, weak and obedient. He was the toy.
Draco got angry. He should have the upper hand. That was something he always had.
And so he tried to be strong again, in every way he could imagine. He tried to insult Remus, tried to hurt him, emotionally and physically, but in the end it was always himself who felt pain. He didn’t want to be in pain anymore, he wanted everything to be like it had been before this. Draco knew he couldn’t end it as long as Remus was there; he had to get rid of him. It was an easy task, Draco figured, Remus was good, he’d never suspect it.
So when Draco took a long knife, hid it in his sleeve and suggested to Remus that they have a glass of wine as a farewell, cunningly leaving that bit out, he was surprised when he started choking.
“I told you I would be the one to leave you,” Remus said evenly, and put the poison back into his pocket.
And in these last few seconds of his life, his last few choked breaths, Draco realized one thing. Something that had never occurred to him before, because such things didn’t happen to Malfoys. He realized that the strong ache in his stomach hadn’t been sickness or a curse at all, but something entirely different.
FIN