Title: 20 Random Facts About Blaise Zabini
Author: Elfflame
Person/Pairing: Blaise-centric, Blaise/Draco, Severus/Blaise (one-sided), Miles/Blaise
Word Count: 1971
Rating: R
Author's notes: For
iulia_linnea's Random Facts Fest. Some of the darker/sadder aspects of how I see Blaise Zabini.
1. Blaise has one memory of his father before he died-they spent the day in London alone together. He remembers in retrospect that his father seemed somehow sad that day, but he had been unaware of it at the time. He keeps the memory to himself, knowing that his mother would not be pleased, but when he's alone, he thinks of that day-and wishes that she had been the one to die, not his father.
2. There is a small portrait of Blaise's father hidden in a guest room in the townhouse Blaise and his mother live in. He only visits it when she's not at home. She tends to find horrible ways to punish him if she knows he's been to see it. Like serving his favorite food, then deciding it's all spoiled and throwing it out rather than letting him have any.
3. Blaise hates his mother. He knows that to her, he is nothing more than another accessory. To be put away when not needed, but brought out to impress or delight. Or in particularly bad moments, to seduce. He knows she has gotten at least three husbands with the promise of being able to sleep with her son as well.
4. Blaise is the first in his family to go to Hogwarts. His mother was sent to Beauxbatons, though her parents lived in London at the time. She had a cousin who was going to France for school, and preferred to join her there. His father attended a smaller school in Italy. Blaise sometimes wonders how different his life might have been had he gone there as well.
5. From the moment Blaise met Draco, he was confused by the other boy. He had heard of the Malfoys, but actually meeting Draco in the flesh was something he was entirely unprepared for. Theirs was a complicated friendship, if you could call the relationship between two Slytherins friendship. In turns, he has loved, hated, envied and despised Draco. Throughout their schooling together, outside the Slytherin common room, he kept his distance. He knew being friends with Draco might lead him down a path that reminded him of his mother's too-dark ambitions, and he hardly more of that sort of influence. Still, no matter what, he couldn't seem to stay away from Draco, despite his better judgment.
6. Blaise tells himself he doesn't believe in love. He's seen his mother happily marry too many men, and seduce far more. If that is love, he wants none of it. He doesn't let it stop him from sleeping with others, though. He just doesn't believe in long-term commitment. Sometimes, though, he wonders whether he might fall for Draco if things were different. But he knows if Draco gets through this war alive, that he will eventually marry. And Blaise will not let Draco cheat on whatever girl he ends up with-at least not with him.
7. Blaise's first crush was on Professor Snape. He never acted on it. The man was too noble-Blaise knew he would never stoop to sleeping with a student. But after the events of Seventh Year, he wishes he'd tried, at least once. He often stops by the memorial Potter insisted be built for him (something that astonishes him, given how much Snape and Potter hated one another) so that he can talk to his professor. He only hopes, wherever Snape is, that he can hear him.
8. Blaise lost his virginity at twelve-to one of his mother's husbands. Some of them had touched him before that night, and after that night he'd hexed his bedroom door shut, damn the Restriction on Under Aged Magic. It had worked to keep him out, but nothing could undo the affect that night had on him. He refused to bottom for anyone for more than a year. Though he quite happily tried out sex with other boys, trying to wipe out the memory of that night-or drown it.
9. He and Draco grew closer in third year after Draco was injured by one of Hagrid's creatures. Slytherins weren't good at asking for comfort, generally, but Draco seemed to have no trouble asking others to feel sympathy for him, and used his injury to get whatever he wanted. Including getting into Blaise's bed. It was completely innocent, of course. He just wanted someone to comfort him at night when his arm ached, or when a nightmare of that beast startled him from sleep. Even after Draco had healed, it became a habit. They didn't indulge often, but when Draco woke from particularly bad nightmares, he nearly always crawled into Blaise's bed. Blaise tried not to think about how much he enjoyed it. It just felt wrong to be so pleased by it.
10. At thirteen, he caught the attention of one of the Quidditch Players. Miles Bletchely, the Slytherin Keeper, began to talk to him in the common room, and before Blaise knew it, the older boy was always there. And not just to talk. Talking turned to snogging, and snogging to sex. It was Miles who convinced him to try being fucked, and not to let the memory of what had been done to him rule his life. He never regretted it. And after that, he was more willing to switch, depending on the partner he was with. The two were nearly inseparable for the rest of the year-something that annoyed Draco to no end.
11. In fourth year, Blaise found himself fascinated by the boys from the other schools. There was a young man from Beauxbatons who was exceptionally creative, and one of the boys from Durmstrang fucked him so fiercely that his toes curled. But it was the night of the Yule Ball that truly opened his eyes. It was the first time he truly understood the complexity of his feelings for Draco. The way he'd felt had never been simple to put into words, but that night, seeing Pansy on his arm, watching them dance together, and seeing the kiss they shared at the end of the night-something twisted inside Blaise. He avoided Draco for the rest of the year, spending all his time with Miles or the boys from the other schools to distract himself. Until the night of the Third Task.
12. After Potter returned with Diggory and people learned that Diggory was dead, the rumours spread fast. There were many that stood out, but one that both he and Draco believed immediately, as did most of Slytherin House-the Dark Lord had returned. Some of the oldest boys disappeared that night, though they returned the next morning, or the day after. The younger children all clung to each other, or to older siblings, frightened of what was to come. That night, Draco snuck into Blaise's bed as he'd done so many times before. Though it wasn't a shock, it was unexpected, given that he and Pansy still appeared to be dating. Nothing happened that night. Just two boys trying to get comfort the best way they knew how. But now Blaise knew-it would only be a matter of time before he gave into the temptation of Draco Malfoy.
13. The summer between fourth and fifth years was the first time that Blaise had been invited to Malfoy Manor. Compared to the townhouse he lived in with his mother, it was immense. And Lucius Malfoy was even more intimidating up close than he had been the few times he had glimpsed him in Diagon Alley. Luckily, he wasn't there much during Blaise's visit. Just during supper, which was difficult enough. Especially when Lucius began to ask where the Zabinis' loyalty lay. Blaise did his best to bluff his way through, but he could tell that Lucius knew he was putting him off, and not being entirely truthful. It was an awkward visit at best.
14. The last night of Blaise's visit at the Manor, Draco snuck into his bedroom and slept there with him. They snuggled but nothing else, though Blaise found it hard not to push for more. He only managed because he knew Draco wasn't ready. Yet.
15. Their first time came after Christmas break that following year. After the escapes from Azkaban. To the rest of Slytherin, Draco was pleased and cocky, but in private, Blaise knew he was scared. He knew that the thought of Bellatrix on the loose was something even Draco wasn't thrilled by. When Draco crawled into bed that night, Blaise didn't resist the urge to take what he wanted any longer. Though he was ready to stop at a kiss, Draco's reaction showed that he was ready for more, too. It was only the first time of many, and though Blaise didn't know it, it was the final step in admitting his feelings for Draco. The final but one, that was.
16. After Draco's father was sent to Azkaban at the end of the year, Draco's usual mood swings grew worse, and Blaise did all he could to comfort him, hating Potter almost as much as Draco for causing him such hurt. Draco didn't sleep in his own bed for the rest of that year.
17. That summer, Blaise's mother started on her next husband. Blaise made certain to stay away from them both as much as possible. He managed, but he paid for it. His mother had kept his owls from him and told their elf that he was to deal with all of his chores himself. By the end of the summer, he'd not heard a word for Draco, and worried that something might have happened to him. He was so relieved to see him on the Hogwarts Express, he didn't notice the circles under his eyes until he'd returned from the impromptu meeting with Slughorn. He hated that the others were there, because it meant he couldn't properly comfort him.
18. Sixth year was an odd mix of whimsical and horrifying. Slughorn was a laugh, and it was great seeing Professor Snape finally receive the job he'd always deserved. Classes were fascinating. But Draco kept disappearing at odd moments, and spent more time in Blaise's bed that year than in his own. Blaise knew he dare not ask what was bothering him. He knew Draco would either ignore him and not answer, or worse, he'd find someone else to comfort him, and Blaise couldn't let him go now. No matter what he wanted. So he kept quiet.
19. At the beginning of the final battle, when McGonagall sent all the Slytherins from the school, Blaise looked for Draco in vain. He knew he'd gone to join them-Him. He hated it. When he saw that Crabbe and Goyle were gone as well, he hoped that they would be able to protect him, and focused on helping Pansy with the younger students. He knew that night would change everything. And not for the better.
20. After the battle, Blaise was so relieved that Draco was okay, he didn't notice the change in him at first. He had been through so much, it only made sense that it all would have changed him. It was only when he was given his sentence-probation for a year plus fines, which had surprised Blaise for its leniency-that Blaise understood. Draco's eyes searched the room, and Blaise had stood to wave to him to show him where he was, but he looked past him, then moved to join Potter in the seats. Blaise watched as Potter patted his shoulder, sliding an arm around him. After that, he knew that he would never be able to love. Because the only one he truly wanted was already taken by someone else. He never said those three words to anyone after that.