(no subject)
Who? Remus Lupin and Brando Lestrange-Savage
What? Remus' attempt to help Brando when he hears the rumor about the spell he had been about to use.
When? 17 years after grownhp
Why? ...he can't just stand back and not do something to help when one of his students is falling apart.
It really was amazing just how quickly gossip could spread throughout Hogwarts. It didn't take long for the news of what had happened in the Charms classroom to reach Remus' ears. By the time the sixth year Ravenclaws made it to his classroom on Friday he knew so many rumors from overhearing the other students that his head was starting to hurt.
One of the main things Leo had asked him to do when he had left was to look after his friends, so as soon as class was dismissed Remus passed by Brando's desk and asked to see him in his office. Now, Remus had known Brando for as long as he had been friends with his godson. He knew the boy's mannerisms as well as he knew Leo's for this very reason, and it wasn't hard to see just how hard Brando was struggling with something. His eyes looked so dark and angry no matter how much he was trying to act normal that, once they were in his office, he stayed silent for a moment as he tried to figure out what to say first.
He didn't have to wait for long, though, because Brando decided to take matters into his own hands.
"I turned in my homework on time, Professor. I'm not behind on anything. I don't see why you needed to see me."
"This has nothing to do with your schoolwork," Remus assured him calmly, sitting down at his desk and motioning to the chair across from him yet Brando didn't sit. "I heard about what happened yesterday."
Brando didn't roll his eyes. Someone better give him a medal for that one, he thought wryly. "You already missed the time for lectures. Headmaster Snape, and Professor Savage took care of that."
Remus' lips tugged at the slightest. "Ah, no. I did not ask you to stay so I could lecture you. I am sure they both took care of that quite well."
"...then?"
"How are you?"
A shrug, and Brando finally sat. His mask was firmly in place. What was it that he had said to Leo, smile and wave? He didn't wave now, but he did smile politely. "I'm fine. I was having a rough day yesterday, I guess. Nothing you should concern yourself with, Professor." This is none of your damn business, he was about to add, but managed to hold it back even if he could feel the venom that had been attached to those words dripping in his throat. "It was all a bit of nonsense. We all got carried away."
For a moment Remus didn't answer. He just stared at his student, wondering if he could see just how easily he could see through him. Sure, the moon made him distracted from time to time because now that he was getting older it affected him more and more. But he also knew how to use everything else that came along with it to his advantage. The wolf liked to examine his prey carefully. Study it until it knew all the weaknesses, all the points he could attack, the slightest twitch in features. He could feel Brando's anger buzzing in the air so clearly that his head started to pound. "So nothing's the matter, then?"
The calmness in his voice was unnerving Brando. So was the way that he was looking at him, because he knew that inspecting gaze. He had seen it at work from time to time whenever he visited Leo and had seen Remus among his family. But he didn't look away, or glare like he so badly wanted to. "No." A beat. "You don't owe me anything, you know. I know you're Leo's godfather, but there's no need for you to talk to me."
Again, Remus' lips twitched slightly. "I am not doing this for that."
"Then?"
"Well, you are my student. I am your Deputy Headmaster as well, and I do not approve Dark magic being used at Hogwarts, especially since I teach a subject that goes against that." He paused briefly. "Another reason is because you are Leo's friend, but that is not the only one."
Silence filled the air at the mention of his friendship with Leo, but it was so tense and thick because of Brando's temper that Remus didn't make any attempt to break it.
Brando did. "I need to go to my next class."
"I can write you a note once we are done."
"I don't need a note," Brando responded, so close to snapping that he clenched his jaw afterwards. Quiet that fucking heart already. "I need to go to my next class."
Remus didn't answer at first. He didn't even move, he just continued looking at him for a moment. "...Brando, Leo--"
"Stop assuming this has anything to do with him." The edge that had been there the day before was suddenly back. He was not glaring how he had been, which was a good sign, but Brando was almost sure that the sign of 'Fuck Off' had lit up on his forehead. Why was it that Remus didn't see it? Why was he still keeping him there? Why did he look so fucking calm? "I'm in a hurry. I need to go."
"I have yet to excuse you."
"Yes, well, I'm done here." In a swift motion he got up and moved towards the door, but somehow Remus moved faster. How he didn't know, since he looked so pale and sick that Brando was starting to wonder what the hell he was still doing at school. Heh, or he would wonder that if he was back to normal. If he cared at all about others right now, but the fact was that he didn't. Instead it was all just rage that kept rushing through him because that was easier to deal with than the rest of his emotions. It was easier to use and didn't make you as vulnerable as everything else that Leo had unleashed in their argument, so Brando looked like he had the day before in his father's classroom. He had that same look in his eyes that said he was ready to move Remus out of the way at any cost. His grandfather's spell? Fuck, he'd take that. He would use it in a heartbeat if it would get the job done. Hadn't that happened yesterday, his anger making it so easy for him to reach for something lethal? If he hurt others maybe it would take away what he felt. He wanted to maim someone. He wanted...
Merlin, there were so many things that he wanted that he was choking. He was choking and he wanted to choke someone along with him because he was so bloody frustrated that he wanted someone else to feel this. He didn't want to know a damn thing, about anything. He wanted it all to end. He wanted someone else to hurt.
If Remus continued with that calm look, Brando thought as one of his hands clenched into a tight fist, that 'someone else' would be the Professor himself. "Professor. Please. Move."
But Remus didn't move. His own temper was flaring, because it was so much harder to control this time of the month, but any sign of it was hidden. This is how you hold a mask, he almost pointed out. Quietly, "I know the changes that have been happening must be hard on you--"
"You don't know a damn thing. You really, honestly don't know a thing so with all due respect, stop assuming. It is not your place to do so."
Brando had given himself away again, though, in the way his eyes blazed yet looked look for just a second as he saw that battle of everything he was feeling in his eyes. Nonetheless, Remus didn't point it out directly. "No, perhaps it isn't. But you holding everything in like you are is not good, Brando. What will be next, will you truly use your grandfather's spell on someone? Are you willing to carry that through?"
Without hesitation, "Yes. If someone doesn't get the fuck out of my way, I don't care." Get the hint?
After a beat. "I am sure Leo misses you as well, you know. None of this is easy, on any one of you."
If there was more to that, Brando didn't hear it. That blinding anger took a hold of Brando full force for a brief moment, and he forcefully pushed past him. If there was one reason why Moony didn't grab him and threw him back into the chair where he had been it was because he was a student, and that was not Remus' method. Instead he locked the door before Brando could leave.
Remus' tone took a dangerously low tone that Brando was smart enough not to interrupt. "I won't hold you here for long. Whatever it is you are trying to deal on your own, if you let it, it can tear you apart before you realize it. If you don't wish to speak to me about it, all right. That's fine. But find someone who you can trust and talk, because you cannot let this keep controlling you. It is not healthy for you, and it will get you in plenty of trouble. If this is not about Leo, then you will have no problem hearing that, if this is about Leo I am almost certain that he feels just how you are at this moment. I know losing your best friend is very difficult, but you didn't lose him. You can visit him, and he can visit as well. You can write to him." He unlocked the door then. "I know he isn't here, and you are not used to it, but distance is the only way your relationship changed."
For what it was worth, Brando didn't laugh that bitter, mocking, angry laugh that threatened to bubble out of him. Instead he just nodded. Quiet that heart. He could quiet it with the best of them when the wave of emotions wasn't drowning him and for now that laugh had managed to distract him from being angry. "Like I said," Brando said quietly, "you don't know a damn thing. Excuse me, Professor, I am late for class."
Not waiting for Remus' reply, Brando made his way out before he could be stopped - for Remus' well being more than his own.
What? Remus' attempt to help Brando when he hears the rumor about the spell he had been about to use.
When? 17 years after grownhp
Why? ...he can't just stand back and not do something to help when one of his students is falling apart.
It really was amazing just how quickly gossip could spread throughout Hogwarts. It didn't take long for the news of what had happened in the Charms classroom to reach Remus' ears. By the time the sixth year Ravenclaws made it to his classroom on Friday he knew so many rumors from overhearing the other students that his head was starting to hurt.
One of the main things Leo had asked him to do when he had left was to look after his friends, so as soon as class was dismissed Remus passed by Brando's desk and asked to see him in his office. Now, Remus had known Brando for as long as he had been friends with his godson. He knew the boy's mannerisms as well as he knew Leo's for this very reason, and it wasn't hard to see just how hard Brando was struggling with something. His eyes looked so dark and angry no matter how much he was trying to act normal that, once they were in his office, he stayed silent for a moment as he tried to figure out what to say first.
He didn't have to wait for long, though, because Brando decided to take matters into his own hands.
"I turned in my homework on time, Professor. I'm not behind on anything. I don't see why you needed to see me."
"This has nothing to do with your schoolwork," Remus assured him calmly, sitting down at his desk and motioning to the chair across from him yet Brando didn't sit. "I heard about what happened yesterday."
Brando didn't roll his eyes. Someone better give him a medal for that one, he thought wryly. "You already missed the time for lectures. Headmaster Snape, and Professor Savage took care of that."
Remus' lips tugged at the slightest. "Ah, no. I did not ask you to stay so I could lecture you. I am sure they both took care of that quite well."
"...then?"
"How are you?"
A shrug, and Brando finally sat. His mask was firmly in place. What was it that he had said to Leo, smile and wave? He didn't wave now, but he did smile politely. "I'm fine. I was having a rough day yesterday, I guess. Nothing you should concern yourself with, Professor." This is none of your damn business, he was about to add, but managed to hold it back even if he could feel the venom that had been attached to those words dripping in his throat. "It was all a bit of nonsense. We all got carried away."
For a moment Remus didn't answer. He just stared at his student, wondering if he could see just how easily he could see through him. Sure, the moon made him distracted from time to time because now that he was getting older it affected him more and more. But he also knew how to use everything else that came along with it to his advantage. The wolf liked to examine his prey carefully. Study it until it knew all the weaknesses, all the points he could attack, the slightest twitch in features. He could feel Brando's anger buzzing in the air so clearly that his head started to pound. "So nothing's the matter, then?"
The calmness in his voice was unnerving Brando. So was the way that he was looking at him, because he knew that inspecting gaze. He had seen it at work from time to time whenever he visited Leo and had seen Remus among his family. But he didn't look away, or glare like he so badly wanted to. "No." A beat. "You don't owe me anything, you know. I know you're Leo's godfather, but there's no need for you to talk to me."
Again, Remus' lips twitched slightly. "I am not doing this for that."
"Then?"
"Well, you are my student. I am your Deputy Headmaster as well, and I do not approve Dark magic being used at Hogwarts, especially since I teach a subject that goes against that." He paused briefly. "Another reason is because you are Leo's friend, but that is not the only one."
Silence filled the air at the mention of his friendship with Leo, but it was so tense and thick because of Brando's temper that Remus didn't make any attempt to break it.
Brando did. "I need to go to my next class."
"I can write you a note once we are done."
"I don't need a note," Brando responded, so close to snapping that he clenched his jaw afterwards. Quiet that fucking heart already. "I need to go to my next class."
Remus didn't answer at first. He didn't even move, he just continued looking at him for a moment. "...Brando, Leo--"
"Stop assuming this has anything to do with him." The edge that had been there the day before was suddenly back. He was not glaring how he had been, which was a good sign, but Brando was almost sure that the sign of 'Fuck Off' had lit up on his forehead. Why was it that Remus didn't see it? Why was he still keeping him there? Why did he look so fucking calm? "I'm in a hurry. I need to go."
"I have yet to excuse you."
"Yes, well, I'm done here." In a swift motion he got up and moved towards the door, but somehow Remus moved faster. How he didn't know, since he looked so pale and sick that Brando was starting to wonder what the hell he was still doing at school. Heh, or he would wonder that if he was back to normal. If he cared at all about others right now, but the fact was that he didn't. Instead it was all just rage that kept rushing through him because that was easier to deal with than the rest of his emotions. It was easier to use and didn't make you as vulnerable as everything else that Leo had unleashed in their argument, so Brando looked like he had the day before in his father's classroom. He had that same look in his eyes that said he was ready to move Remus out of the way at any cost. His grandfather's spell? Fuck, he'd take that. He would use it in a heartbeat if it would get the job done. Hadn't that happened yesterday, his anger making it so easy for him to reach for something lethal? If he hurt others maybe it would take away what he felt. He wanted to maim someone. He wanted...
Merlin, there were so many things that he wanted that he was choking. He was choking and he wanted to choke someone along with him because he was so bloody frustrated that he wanted someone else to feel this. He didn't want to know a damn thing, about anything. He wanted it all to end. He wanted someone else to hurt.
If Remus continued with that calm look, Brando thought as one of his hands clenched into a tight fist, that 'someone else' would be the Professor himself. "Professor. Please. Move."
But Remus didn't move. His own temper was flaring, because it was so much harder to control this time of the month, but any sign of it was hidden. This is how you hold a mask, he almost pointed out. Quietly, "I know the changes that have been happening must be hard on you--"
"You don't know a damn thing. You really, honestly don't know a thing so with all due respect, stop assuming. It is not your place to do so."
Brando had given himself away again, though, in the way his eyes blazed yet looked look for just a second as he saw that battle of everything he was feeling in his eyes. Nonetheless, Remus didn't point it out directly. "No, perhaps it isn't. But you holding everything in like you are is not good, Brando. What will be next, will you truly use your grandfather's spell on someone? Are you willing to carry that through?"
Without hesitation, "Yes. If someone doesn't get the fuck out of my way, I don't care." Get the hint?
After a beat. "I am sure Leo misses you as well, you know. None of this is easy, on any one of you."
If there was more to that, Brando didn't hear it. That blinding anger took a hold of Brando full force for a brief moment, and he forcefully pushed past him. If there was one reason why Moony didn't grab him and threw him back into the chair where he had been it was because he was a student, and that was not Remus' method. Instead he locked the door before Brando could leave.
Remus' tone took a dangerously low tone that Brando was smart enough not to interrupt. "I won't hold you here for long. Whatever it is you are trying to deal on your own, if you let it, it can tear you apart before you realize it. If you don't wish to speak to me about it, all right. That's fine. But find someone who you can trust and talk, because you cannot let this keep controlling you. It is not healthy for you, and it will get you in plenty of trouble. If this is not about Leo, then you will have no problem hearing that, if this is about Leo I am almost certain that he feels just how you are at this moment. I know losing your best friend is very difficult, but you didn't lose him. You can visit him, and he can visit as well. You can write to him." He unlocked the door then. "I know he isn't here, and you are not used to it, but distance is the only way your relationship changed."
For what it was worth, Brando didn't laugh that bitter, mocking, angry laugh that threatened to bubble out of him. Instead he just nodded. Quiet that heart. He could quiet it with the best of them when the wave of emotions wasn't drowning him and for now that laugh had managed to distract him from being angry. "Like I said," Brando said quietly, "you don't know a damn thing. Excuse me, Professor, I am late for class."
Not waiting for Remus' reply, Brando made his way out before he could be stopped - for Remus' well being more than his own.