Monochromal (Amalin)
I don’t know when monochromal’s journal was deleted, but it happened sometime after the publishing of the seventh book.
She still has another LJ under the name of amalin, but in June/2008 she wrote that her fandom experience is over. In the Amalin LJ there are just her stories archived.
I didn’t know her at all, but her disappearance struck a deep chord for me. Before the publishing of “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” I was worried sick about what would happen at the end of it all. Most of all, I feared about Draco’s sort, given that I’m kind of a H/D monomaniac.
Then, by absolute chance, I stumbled upon one of her post. It had no title, but I like to call it the best declaration of love I’ve ever read. It was a post about Harry and Draco, their love, their history, and the lives that our fandom gave them. The first line was:
You’re not over, not to me.
The last one was:
It's all there, all of this, as long as we remember it. And I'm not letting go.
And in the middle there was, well, just everything. Everything.
I saved it, bookmarked it, emailed the link to almost anyone I knew, because it was unbelievable and moving and mind-shattering and comforting at the same time. Even now, every time I re-read it, the surge of emotion it causes in me is almost unbearable.
But after the release of the book with that nightmare of an epilogue, I discovered that her journal was gone, and so was that incredible post. I felt, well, sort of betrayed. Why would someone with her titanic trust leave the fandom just like that? I simply couldn’t believe it. I still can’t.
I rationalized it, and I keep my archived copy of that incredible post like a small gem.
The thing I regret the most? The fact that it isn’t accessible anymore. I know that I drew a lot of comfort from reading it. So thank you, monochromal. I still think yours was one of the most desperately romantic contribution I’ve ever read.
Grace
She still has another LJ under the name of amalin, but in June/2008 she wrote that her fandom experience is over. In the Amalin LJ there are just her stories archived.
I didn’t know her at all, but her disappearance struck a deep chord for me. Before the publishing of “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” I was worried sick about what would happen at the end of it all. Most of all, I feared about Draco’s sort, given that I’m kind of a H/D monomaniac.
Then, by absolute chance, I stumbled upon one of her post. It had no title, but I like to call it the best declaration of love I’ve ever read. It was a post about Harry and Draco, their love, their history, and the lives that our fandom gave them. The first line was:
You’re not over, not to me.
The last one was:
It's all there, all of this, as long as we remember it. And I'm not letting go.
And in the middle there was, well, just everything. Everything.
I saved it, bookmarked it, emailed the link to almost anyone I knew, because it was unbelievable and moving and mind-shattering and comforting at the same time. Even now, every time I re-read it, the surge of emotion it causes in me is almost unbearable.
But after the release of the book with that nightmare of an epilogue, I discovered that her journal was gone, and so was that incredible post. I felt, well, sort of betrayed. Why would someone with her titanic trust leave the fandom just like that? I simply couldn’t believe it. I still can’t.
I rationalized it, and I keep my archived copy of that incredible post like a small gem.
The thing I regret the most? The fact that it isn’t accessible anymore. I know that I drew a lot of comfort from reading it. So thank you, monochromal. I still think yours was one of the most desperately romantic contribution I’ve ever read.
Grace