Never Trust a Half Naked Bloke (No Matter How Fit He Is) (Part 2/2)
♥ ♥ ♥
“Lily?” Rose asked. “Is that you?”
Lily was hiding in the girls’ bathroom, slumped against the wall, and feeling sorry for herself. It had been more than a week since her conversation with Scorpius, and she had already failed miserably seven different times in finding a suitable girl for Scorpius. She had tried to set him up with every suitable girl in Slytherin and even a couple in Ravenclaw. Clearly, he would never settle for a Hufflepuff, and although most of the Gryffindor girls were on the prettier side, Lily hated most of their guts, so she wasn’t going to ask them for any favours. Besides, Scorpius needed a girlfriend; everyone knew that most of the Gryffindor girls were just easy tarts.
“No, it’s not,” Lily said, her voice screechy and sounding more like a petulant child than ever. “Go away, Rose!”
Rose scowled but sat down next to her anyway. “If it’s not you, dear, then how did you know it was me?”
“Ugh.” Lily banged her head against the tile wall. “Somebody AK me please! I can’t deal with this now.”
Rose blinked at her furiously, her blue eyes sparkling behind her glasses. “Why would you want someone to AK you? That’s not very nice.” She tilted her head at an angle again and gave Lily her sternest look. Lily swore that Rose was part owl. “And that’s against the law, Lily. Mother says one should never go against the law. That rules are there for a reason.”
“Oh sweet Salazar!” Lily banged her head against the wall again. “Rose, darling,” she said coldly, “do you always do what your mother tells you?”
“Of course! Don’t you?”
“No!” Lily sighed and closed her eyes. Be patient with your cousin-be patient with your cousin, she scolded herself. Sometimes, she felt like that should be her mantra.
“Lily?” Rose asked, her pale face etched in concern. “Are you okay? How can I help?”
Lily opened her eyes and faced her cousin. Most people wouldn’t say that Rose Weasley was classically pretty-not with her frizzy mop of hair and wide framed glasses-but still, there was something about her that was appealing. She had striking blue eyes, so pale they almost looked violet, and eyelashes so long that they curled at the ends. Her pale face was dusted with freckles, and even though she had a few blemishes and spots, they weren’t anything that a little concealer couldn’t fix. Lily would kill for those dark, beautiful eyelashes. Hers were so pale that she had to wear coats and coats of mascara just to make them visible. Perhaps one day she could convince her cousin to allow her to give her a makeover.
“No. I’m not okay, Rose. I don’t know what to do.”
“About what?”
Lily ran a hand through her hair and stared at Rose. Should she tell her? Could she trust Rose? Finally, she shrugged and figured what the hell? It’s not like Rose was a reliable source anyway. She would only share certain details with her and just deny everything, if it somehow got out that she had slept with Jonathon.
“It’s Scorpius,” she said, “I messed up, Rose. I hurt him badly. And now I need to find him a girlfriend...for him to forgive me.”
“Oh.” Rose pursed her lips. “That is a problem. A serious problem.”
Lily arched an eyebrow at her. “Why is that?”
“Because Scorpius is clearly gay. Why would he want a girlfriend?”
“WHAT?” Lily stared at Rose as if she had three heads. “Are you insane? Scorpius is not gay.”
Rose shrugged. “Sure he is. He’s never had a girlfriend-even though all the girls fancy him, he dresses better than most of the girls at Hogwarts, and he’s always making moon eyes at your brother.”
“What are you talking about?” Lily rubbed her eyes with her hands, for once not caring that she would smear her mascara. “Scorpius does not make moon eyes at my brother. They’re not even friends. Albus hates him. They’re practically rivals.”
“Are they?” Rose asked. “I hadn’t noticed that. What I did notice is that Albus always stares at Scorpius. Besides, he talked about him all summer.”
“He did?” Lily was shocked. Why didn’t Albus tell her any of this? He was her brother. Why had he confided in Rose?
“He did,” Rose said. “He kept asking me if I thought house rivalries were important. Or if I thought the rest of the Gryffindors would kill him if he dated or was friends with a Slytherin.”
“Bloody hell, Rose!” Lily grabbed the other girl by the shoulders and shook her. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
Rose shrugged. “You never asked.”
“Whatever.” Lily rolled her eyes. “But I think you’re right. Albus was really upset when he found out I had hurt Scorpius. And I did find all these crumpled letters in his room that were all addressed to Scorpius.” She frowned. “I thought that he just wanted to be friends with Scorpius for my sake. I never thought that he might fancy him. I mean...Albus doesn’t have a queer bone in his body. He’s captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. He eats, sleeps, and breathes Quidditch.”
“And Scorpius?”
“Scorpius...I always wondered about. I really did think he was gay until this summer.”
Rose tilted her head again and blinked at her. “What happened this summer?”
“NOTHING!” Lily squeaked. “Absolutely nothing!”
“That’s nice,” Rose replied, still blinking. “You don’t have to raise your voice. I can hear you perfectly. You’re right next to me, Lily. Inside voice, please.”
Lily shook her head and laughed. Perhaps Rose wasn’t so bad after all. “Sorry Rose, I must’ve forgotten. Now, let’s start plotting on how to get those two together.”
♥ ♥ ♥
It was the middle of October now, and Lily and Rose were no closer to getting Albus and Scorpius together then they had been that day in the bathroom. They had been working on setting them up for weeks now, but each time they pushed them together, all their plans seemed to blow up in their faces, spectacularly so. At first, they had decided that since both boys loved Quidditch, playing a friendly pickup game would bring the boys closer together. Well, that plan failed miserably, and instead of bringing the boys together, they wound up rolling around on the floor and pounding each other into a pulp. Albus called Scorpius a ‘bloody cheater’, and then, Scorpius called Albus ‘a pompous bastard.’ After that, insults against their mothers and their respective fathers were exchanged, and things went pear-shaped quickly. Lily and Rose had to wrestle the boys away from each other before they each lost Gryffindor and Slytherin 100 points respectively.
After the Quidditch failure, Rose’s bright idea was to get the boys to work together in class. Originally, Lily thought it was an absurd idea, and Rose always wanted to include school in everything, but eventually Lily came around and convinced Professor Slughorn that it was in Slytherin’s best interest to pair Albus and Scorpius together. She told him that if the boys didn’t learn to get along, their fighting would cost Slytherin the House Cup. Obviously, Professor Slughorn wanted to win, so he agreed and paired the boys together as Potions partners. Unfortunately, that plan failed miserably as well, and Albus wound up putting Scorpius in the hospital wing when he accidentally erupted and imploded their cauldron.
Lily had almost killed Rose after that plan, but she decided against it because Scorpius allowed her to sit with him when he was in the hospital wing. It was the only time she had spent with him since Paris, and even though she felt guilty that he was injured, she was thrilled to have her friend back. For a while, it felt like old times again, but as soon as he was released, he went back to avoiding her. Watching Scorpius purposely avoid her broke her heart, and if she had to spend another Friday night listening to Amelia and Elizabeth whinge about boys, she would probably kill herself. Or both of them.
Finally, she became desperate and resorted to a rather juvenile plan. She snuck into Scorpius’ dormitory and stole a couple of his textbooks. Instead of returning them, however, she dumped them in Albus’ rucksack in hopes that once he noticed they were Scorpius’, he would return them to the other boy, and then they would be forced to make nice with each other. Of course, that plan failed, just like the others, and instead of returning the books to Scorpius himself, Albus threatened a first year Slytherin into returning them.
Lily was getting desperate now; other than locking the two boys together in a closet and never letting them out again, Lily was completely out of ideas. She was sitting at the library, of all places, and pretending to flip through one of her textbooks. Albus and Scorpius had to get together and soon before she became a swot like Rose.
“Rose,” she whinged, “can we leave now? It’s almost dinner time and I’m soooo bored.”
“Not yet, Lily.” Rose was scribbling furiously on a scroll and had the table covered in colour-coded notes. “Don’t worry. You’ll thank me in a minute.”
“I doubt it,” Lily muttered under her breath. “What are you doing anyway?” She peered at Rose’s scribbles and realised that she was writing a letter.
“I’m writing a letter.”
“I can see that.” Lily rolled her eyes. “But who are you writing to?”
“Oh, it’s just brilliant,” Rose said with a huge smile. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. I’m writing to Scorpius!”
Lily quirked an eyebrow at Rose. Rose might be a genius, but sometimes her plans were a little peculiar. There was that one time that she wanted to handcuff herself and Lily too, onto the Whomping Willow until Scorpius and Albus admitted their feelings for each other.
“Why are you writing to Scorpius?” Lily didn’t think that Scorpius had ever even spoken more than two words to Rose in all their years at school.
“I’m not,” Rose explained, “Albus is. And then Scorpius is going to write to Albus.”
Lily’s eyes widened and she turned her most dazzling and wicked smile on Rose. “Rose Weasley,” she said with a smirk, “that is rather Slytherin of you...and absolutely brilliant. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it.”
“Thank you!” Rose tiled her head again and laughed. Apparently, that was her reaction to everything. “I’m sure you would have thought of it eventually, Lily Luna. I got the idea from those letters you said that Albus had tried to write to Scorpius. Obviously-both boys have problems expressing themselves face to face. Perhaps if we arrange a secret face to face meeting, they’ll be able to relax and admit their feelings.”
Lily shook her head and smiled again. “I can’t believe what I’m hearing come out of your mouth, darling. I think you’re joining the dark side.” She ruffled Rose’s already frizzy hair, still smiling stupidly. “Clearly, I must be having a good influence on you. Now, get cracking on that letter. I’m starving.”
Dear Scorpius,
I have been trying to write to you for ages, but I’m just rubbish with words. I needed to tell you that I think you are rather impressive, and I’m so glad you take care of my sister. Honestly, Lily gets herself into trouble all the time, and if it weren’t for you, I’m pretty sure that she would be failing all her classes and possibly expelled. Thank you for that. And it’s not just that. I’m sorry if I’ve been a right shit to you at times, but I didn’t mean it. I don’t mean it. At all. In fact, I think about you. A LOT. You’re smart Scorpius and clever too. And quite fit. I really want to get to know you better, but I’ve just been too shy to tell you. I was afraid that you would laugh in my face. However, I can’t keep my feelings hidden anymore. If you want to put all the Gryffindor and Slytherin rivalry rubbish aside and give a bloke a chance, then meet me in the Room of Requirement on Friday night. I’ll be there at nine. And I promise if you go out on a limb and take a chance, you won’t regret it.
Faithfully yours,
ASP
Dear Albus,
I cannot convey to you how deeply embarrassed I am with my actions towards you. I never should have treated you the way I have, or worse yet, insulted your family. Your family has been amazing to me. They have welcomed me with open arms and were so supportive of me during my parents’ divorce. Well, expect for your brother, but that isn’t your fault. I know that I have never gone out of my way to befriend you, and I cannot tell you how much I regret this. I have always wanted to be your friend, more than a friend if I’m honest with myself, but I was a coward and afraid of your rejection. You’re Albus Potter. Your father hated my father, and your mother and uncle despise my family with a passion. I never thought in a million years that you would accept my friendship, so I figured it would be better if I never asked for it. Now, I regret it, and I can no longer ignore my feelings for you, Albus Severus. You fascinate me, really fascinate me, and I want nothing more than to get to know to you better and be your friend. Perhaps even something more...if you are up for it. If you accept my sincerest apologies and want to get to know me, please meet me at the Room of Requirement on Friday evening at precisely nine. I will be waiting for you anxiously.
Faithfully yours,
SAM
“All done,” Rose said as she waved her letter in Lily’s face. “Are you finished with Albus’ letter?”
“Indeed,” Lily replied smugly. “Now trade.”
The girls traded letters and Lily quickly perused Rose’s letter to Scorpius. “It’s good and sounds like Al,” she said, “but did you really have to mention the part about me failing out of school without Scorpius? That’s so not true. I’m not failing any of my classes right now.”
Rose shook her head. “That’s because I’m helping you. And you’re letter is good too. Nice job on the details. If we don’t include details that are only known by Albus and Scorpius, then the boys will know the letters are fakes.”
Lily scowled. “I suppose, you’re right.” She crossed her arms and pretended to be affronted. “But that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. This better bleeding work.”
“It will,” Rose chirped. “I’m sure of it.”
♥ ♥ ♥
Friday night finally came, and Lily swore that she was more nervous than Albus was. Yesterday, Albus had come to her and confessed that Scorpius had written him a letter and asked to meet him for a date. Al was too adorable for his own good. He had been afraid that Lily would be angry or think that he was trying to steal Scorpius from her; he needed to make sure that she was okay with it. Lily had hugged her brother tightly and assured him that she wanted nothing more than for him to be happy with Scorpius. She loved them both more than life itself and couldn’t think of two boys that deserved each other more. Albus had left with a huge, besotted grin on his face, and Lily knew that she had done the right thing. Certainly, she was setting the boys up in order to regain her best friend, but it was also for them to be happy. Lily loved watching her brother grin stupidly like that, and she assumed that Scorpius would have a similar grin. Of course, she would never admit that aloud. She had her Slytherin reputation to uphold after all.
As usual, Rose was a big help, and Lily decided that she was much too hard on her quirky cousin. Even if Rose was a little peculiar and too much of a goody two-shoes, she was still her cousin and quite brilliant in her own right. Lily had watched eagerly as Rose charmed the Room of Requirement to provide a romantic picnic spread for Albus and Scorpius. Everything was perfect, and now all they had to do was wait for Albus and Scorpius to arrive. Naturally, Lily and Rose were going to spy on the boys, and while Rose finished setting up the picnic and romantic atmosphere, Lily set up a two-way mirror. That way, they would have front row seats to Albus and Scorpius’ date, yet the boys would be none the wiser.
Nine o’ clock came and went, and just as Lily predicted, Scorpius had been the first to arrive. Albus was always late to everything, but since Scorpius hated tardiness, Lily hoped that Al would make an effort to be on time or at least almost on time. Scorpius’ face had lit up in a fierce upon seeing the picnic, but since it was now almost quarter after nine, he was pacing frantically and had already started drinking the champagne.
“Albus,” Scorpius gasped, when her brother finally decided to make an appearance.
“You came.”
“I did.” Albus was staring at his feet rather than looking at Scorpius and Lily wanted to hit him. However, he had changed into a nice pair of slacks and a button-down shirt. Thank Merlin that he hadn’t shown up in one of his various Quidditch jerseys that he usually sported.
“I wasn’t sure you’d come,” Albus said, finally looking up at Scorpius and chewing on his bottom lip.
“Well, I did.” Scorpius just stood there blinking at Albus and playing with his silver tie.
“You look nice,” Albus said after a long beat.
“Thank you.” Scorpius smiled at him and blushed. Merlin’s beard Scorpius was blushing like a besotted schoolgirl. What kind of Slytherin was he? “You do too,” he added, eyeing the other boy appreciatively.
*
That’s better, Lily thought. “Make the first move, Scorp,” she urged. “Clearly, my brother is the worst Gryffindor ever and has no bollocks whatsoever.” Rose snorted. Up until now, she had been so quiet that Lily had forgotten that she was here watching with her.
“You know they can’t hear you, right?”
“Shut up, you,” Lily snapped, without any malice in her voice. “I’m trying to listen.”
*
“I see you’re drinking champagne,” Albus said, motioning to the open bottle of champagne on the floor.
“Erm...yes.” Scorpius frowned. “I hope you don’t mind that I started without you.”
“Not at all.”
“I was kind of afraid that you weren’t coming, so I figured I needed to get a head start on getting pissed.” Scorpius stared down at the floor and tried to hide behind his long fringe. What the hell? Both these boys were being so ridiculous that Lily just wanted to punch them.
Albus snorted. Obviously, he thought that Scorpius had been joking, and now Scorpius was blushing even darker than before. He slumped down on the floor and put his head in his hands.
“This was foolish,” he mumbled. “I’m such an idiot. Why did I-”
“Wait what?” Albus asked, his faced scrunched in concern. When Scorpius didn’t answer and just pulled his knees further into his chest, Albus slumped down on the floor next to him. “Scorpius,” he said slowly, “what’s wrong? What did I say?”
“You’re laughing at me.” Scorpius’ voice was so soft and pitiful that it hurt Lily’s heart. Oh Albus, if you fuck this up, I will kill you, she mused.
“What? No!” Albus’ eyes were wide now. He scooted closer to Scorpius and placed a hand on his back. “I-I didn’t mean to. I thought you were joking.”
Scorpius picked up his head and looked at Al; his eyes were bright and glassy. “I wasn’t.”
“Then I’m sorry,” Albus said, his hand now awkwardly patting Scorpius’ back. “Why wouldn’t I come? I’ve been dying all week.”
“Really?” Scorpius’ face lit up in a brilliant smile and Lily thought that she heard Albus gulp. The blond boy didn’t smile often, but when he did, his smile could light up an entire room.
“Really.” Albus reached out to Scorpius and grabbed his hand. Scorpius gave it to him readily and pulled him closer, now resting his head on Al’s shoulder.
“This is nice,” Albus said.
“Mmmm, it is,” Scorpius agreed. “You’re rather comfy.”
“Thanks, I think.” Albus continued to stroke Scorpius’ hand and Lily heard Rose aww behind her. She rolled her eyes but didn’t comment.
“Scorpius?” Albus asked after a long pause. “Not that I’m not happy you’re here, but why me? Why now?” He bit down on his bottom lip and looked sad. “I-I thought you were in love with Lily...not me.”
Scorpius sighed and picked his head off Albus’ shoulder. He turned around and faced the other boy, making sure to lock eyes with him. “Albus,” he said, in his most serious tone, “I want you, okay. I-I thought I wanted Lily. She’s been my best friend for years and I’ve never had feelings for any girls,” he explained. “I knew that wasn’t normal, so I asked myself what kind of girl I would want. I couldn’t find a single girl that didn’t drive me mental. And then, I was in Paris with Lily...the city of love.” He ran a trembling hand through his hair and his breaths were much too shallow.
“It’s okay, Scorpius,” Albus said. “You can tell me.”
Scorpius nodded and continued speaking. “It was so beautiful and romantic and with Lily on my arm...I thought that maybe we could be happy together. She was the only girl that I could be around at all times. And I mistook our close friendship for love. I was an idiot. I mean-I do love her...but not like that.”
“Scorp-”
“No, please let me finish,” he insisted. “You might not like this, but I need to tell you. I snogged your sister. Several times.”
“I figured.”
“Lily...is a beautiful girl. And she’s funny, smart. She’s everything a bloke could want. But we were in Paris...the most romantic city in the world...and sharing adjoining rooms. Any other bloke in the world would have been ecstatic,” he continued. “But I wasn’t. I wanted to want her and convinced myself I loved her. But...when we tried to do anything beside kiss...I-I just couldn’t.” Scorpius blanched and averted his eyes from Albus. “I knew then that if I couldn’t want Lily, then I would never want any girl. But I was so embarrassed and scared that I didn’t want to admit it to myself. I figured that since I already loved Lily that I could learn to fancy her too.” He sighed deeply, his entire face falling. “You must think I’m disgusting, huh? Basically using your sister.”
“Scorpius,” Albus rasped. He put both hands on Scorpius’ shoulders and stared at him intently. “You’ll never disgust me. And trust me, I understand. I tried dating girls, and every time I kissed them I kept thinking about you.”
“Really?”
“Really.” Albus smiled, that same large, besotted smile he had greeted Lily with the day before. “I almost died when I heard that you were seeing Lily. I’ve always wanted you for myself.”
Scorpius broke into his own wide grin and then raised both eyebrows at Albus. “What are you going to do about it then, Potter?”
“I think I have an idea,” Albus quipped back, leering at Scorpius. He wrapped his arms around Scorpius’ neck and pulled him closer. They were inches apart and Lily couldn’t help but hold her breath. It was finally going to happen.
“Scorpius,” Albus gasped, and then before the other boy could respond, Albus closed the distance between them, firmly pressing his lips against Scorpius’.
*
Lily let out the deep breath she had been holding. “Finally. It took them long enough.”
“Hmmm.” Rose sighed. “They are so sweet together.”
“I suppose,” Lily agreed, as she continued to watch the two boys, who had now broken their kiss and were resting their foreheads against each other. “But why are they just staring at each other? They’re blokes for Salazar’s sake. Shouldn’t they be naked and fucking already?”
Rose chuckled, her high-pitched nasally chuckle that Lily used to find grating, but was now getting used to.
“Oh, Lily,” she said fondly. “You crack me up. They’re mad about each other. Anybody can see that.”
“But still-look at them. Now, they’re feeding each other strawberries. They’re moving at the pace of a feral slug. At this rate, they’ll be fifty before they actually fuck!”
Rose chuckled again and shrugged. “So what if they are? They say that sex is always better with someone you love. That it’ll change your life.”
“I doubt that,” Lily scoffed.
“What was that?”
“Nothing,” Lily said. “I’m sure you’re right. But that’s my brother and my best friend. And they are nauseating.”
“They’re sweet.”
“No, they look like a couple of besotted Hufflepuffs, and I will be having words with both of them.” She paused for a second. “Tomorrow. They can have one night of sappiness before I start teasing them.”
Rose pushed her glasses up on her nose and smirked. “That’s rather kind of you, Lil. They really are quite smitten with each other.”
“I know,” Lily said. “We did a good job, Rose. And I think I might have found my calling in life.” She turned and sent her cousin a wicked smile. “Screw school...I think I’m going to skive off 7th year and become a professional matchmaker. I’m so brilliant at it.”
“Erm...I’m not sure if that’s the best idea.”
“Sure it is!” Lily insisted. “And you’re going to be my assistant, Rose.” Lily had a mischievous glint in her eye and Rose gulped. “Now who can we set up next? There are a lot of lonely people out there. And I’m...no we’re going to change their lives.”
Rose groaned and put her hand in her hands. “Bugger...I’ve created a monster!”
Lily tilted her back and laughed, a real laugh from deep within her chest, as she hadn’t done in ages. Finally, everything was falling into place again. Just last week she had thought that this entire year would be a total disaster. Now, she was on the verge of regaining her best friend and had found a new hobby. Watch out world, Lily Luna Potter was back and better than ever.
~Fin