Epiphany
Title: “Epiphany”
Author: auntbijou
Rating: G
Pairing: None really
Summary: Epiphanies are very personal, very private events, and can turn your world upside down. It takes a teething Teddy Lupin for Ron to finally understand Harry’s childhood, and what it meant.
Warning: Screaming baby (cover your ears), mentions of past abuse.
Words: 2,235
Disclaimer: It all belongs to J.K. Rowling. I make no money from this, it is for entertainment purposes only.
A/N: I’ve often wondered just what Ron and Hermione thought growing up in the Dursley household was like for Harry. And how they dealt with it, most especially Ron, since he came from such a loving home. And this is what my mind came up with. Enjoy!
Harry paused in the door of the library of Grimmauld Place. “It’s awfully quiet down there,” he said uncertainly, turning to look at Ron.
Ron blinked. “Actually, you know, it’s been quiet for a while now. Do… do you think Hermione hexed him or something?”
Harry went pale. “Oh, surely she wouldn’t!”
They hadn’t meant to leave Hermione alone with Teddy. Harry had taken Teddy for the weekend to give Andromeda a bit of a break. The little boy was teething, and very prone to screaming with the pain. Nothing helped, and ears ringing from four hours of non-stop crying and screaming, he’d called Ron and Hermione for help, stopping just short of calling Mrs. Weasley. Even Hermione’s advice, being the daughter of dentists, hadn’t worked, and Ron and Harry had rushed up to the library where there were several Wizarding books on childcare, hoping to find a remedy for Teddy’s pain.
They hurried out of the library, walking quietly down the stairs in case Teddy had passed out with exhaustion, and peeked into the sitting room.
On the couch in front of a low burning fire, Teddy was sprawled in sleep over the chest of a dozing Dean Thomas, an oddly shaped lump of ice on a ring sliding out of the little mouth.
“What is that?” asked Ron, frowning.
Harry wanted to hit himself. “An ice lolly,” he said softly. “Why didn’t I think of that??”
“Because you were too busy hiding up in the library,” said Hermione waspishly from behind them. They both jumped, and she whipped out her wand to cast a quick Muffliato around them. “Come on,” she said and turned to lead the way to the kitchen. Once they were in there, she let loose. “What were you thinking??? Do you know how long I was down here without a clue??? He was screaming, and then his mouth started bleeding!!”
“Bleeding?” said Harry, horrified, and he almost headed back into the sitting room, just to make sure Teddy was okay, but Hermione grabbed his arm and yanked him back.
“Yes, but when I made myself calm down, I remembered that it’s perfectly normal for a baby to bleed a little when teething. After all, their teeth are cutting through their gums, and that’s what makes it hurt so badly!” She shook her head, clearly exasperated with them. “I was about to call Mrs. Weasley, when Dean stuck his head in the floo, wanting to ask you something. He took one look at Teddy howling in my arms and disappeared. I thought he was running away, and I’m ashamed to say I said some rather nasty things. But ten minutes later, he suddenly appeared with bags in his hand. He took Teddy from me and set the bags on the table, took out the lolly molds and told me to fill them with water and cast a freezing charm. I did, he popped one out, handed it to Teddy, and instant silence!!”
“I’m really sorry, Hermione,” said Harry sheepishly. “I was searching through Wizarding Remedies for Common Childhood Ailments but it didn’t have a single thing in it about teething! I was so sure it would be in that book!”
Ron was staring at Hermione in disbelief. “Besides, you’re a girl! Shouldn’t you have known what to do?”
Hermione was stunned. “And where exactly would I have learned this?” she asked in a very dangerous tone.
“Well, with… er…”
“Were you going to say little brothers or sisters? Because I’m an only child, Ron, remember?” She scowled angrily, clearly put out. “And I’ve never babysat before, because I’ve been spending all my time in the Wizarding world, haven’t I? Every summer, I’d spend a couple of weeks with my parents, traveling, and then straight to the Burrow with your family. I don’t even know the neighbors in my parents’ neighborhood any more. I certainly didn’t do any babysitting!!”
Ron flushed. “I’m sorry, Hermione,” he said, trying to catch her hand, but she jerked angrily away from him.
“Don’t even,” she said, and turned to scowl at Harry. “Here,” she said, and handed him a book. What to Expect the First Year, it said. “And before you say a word,” Hermione said, turning to glare at Ron, “Dean brought it.” She turned back to Harry. “I’m leaving now. I’m too tense and stressed to be helpful. I read the book, and I know that now. But I am going to get my own copy and read it through, so next time, I’ll be more useful.” She kissed his cheek. “See you later,” and she went to the floo, calling out the address of her flat, and disappeared in a burst of green flame.
Ron grimaced. “Why’s she so angry? I apologized, didn’t I?”
Harry rolled his eyes. “I think it was from the assumption that she’d know what to do, Ron.”
“Well, she always knows what to do! That’s just Hermione! How would I know she didn’t know anything about kids??” Ron shoved his hands into his pockets. “I thought, she’s a girl, she should know?”
Harry snorted as he began to leaf through the book. “That’s a huge assumption, Ron. Why would she? Just because she’s a girl?? Have you been around a lot of babies?”
“Yeah,” said Ron. “I have a lot of little cousins.”
“Yet, you didn’t know much about how to help Teddy, did you?”
“No,” said Ron thoughtfully, “but I did know how to hold him, and how to feed him…”
“Why?”
“Well… I learned it, didn’t I? I helped with my little cousins, and… and… oh.” Ron blinked, the sudden comprehension on his face making him look somewhat addled.. “I get it.”
“Yeah,” said Harry, trying not to laugh. “And now you know why I don’t automatically know these things, either!”
Ron stared at him for a long moment. “Oh… Harry,” he said weakly.
“Well, I never had a good example, not really, have I?” Harry said cheerfully as he went to the stove to make hot chocolate. “I mean, I have a good example on how not to raise a child… and I have a good idea on how to handle teenagers, kind of, from your mother, but, babies?” Harry shook his head. “The only things the Dursleys ever taught me were how to cook, how to clean house, how to work in a garden, and how to stay quiet and unnoticed. Oh, and how to totally spoil a kid and raise a poor excuse of a human being. Though I have to admit, Dudley has made a bit of a turn-around, but he’s done that on his own.” He looked back up at Ron and smiled.
Ron stared at Harry, the deprivation and loneliness of his friend’s childhood only then truly sinking in. Harry had only been about nine months older than Teddy when he’d lost his parents. Suddenly, the idea of Teddy being locked in a closet to howl away his loneliness, until he realized that no one was coming, no Mumma or Dada coming to soothe away his hurt, no tender hands to touch him, no loving voice to sing away his fears, no… no one, no one to hold him, just hold him… his knees began to buckle…
“Whoa there!” And hands were holding his arms, leading him to a chair, helping him sit down, a hand was on the back of his head, forcing it down between his knees, and he was struggling to breathe. “Ron? Ron, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad…”
The worry and apology in Harry’s voice roused him as nothing else could, and he sat up, furious. “Don’t apologize!” Ron said roughly. “Don’t do it! It’s not your fault that I’m stupid and have the emotional depth of a teaspoon, or that I get overwhelmed when something finally sinks in through my thick skull!!” He stared up at Harry, seeing that puzzled and slightly hurt line between his dark brows and couldn’t stand it. “Don’t apologize to me about being abused and neglected as a child, and it’s taken me this long to realize it! To realize what it means!”
Harry sat back on his heels, watching Ron’s face. “I’m… I never really wanted you to know…”
“Yeah, I get that.” Ron closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. “It’s just… it’s Teddy, okay? I… I suddenly saw Teddy in that cupboard under the stairs, Teddy being ignored, Teddy having to wash dishes that were bigger than he was…” He shook his head and opened his eyes, searing Harry’s almost frantically. “You should have been loved, Harry! You should have been cared for! How could those people… how could they ignore someone so helpless, so small and…” he was unable to continue, his throat thick with tears, the unbearable pain that someone had done this to Harry, to his best friend, and he had been completely oblivious to it, even though he had seen the bars on the window, had noticed how hard it was for Harry to let other people touch him, how he never initiated touches of his own, not until he’d been around the Weasleys, and even then, it had taken years… “Look, I knew you were an orphan. I knew those Muggles weren’t kind to you, that they didn’t do right by you but… I think it just sank in, what it meant. What they did. What they didn’t do, and… and…” he had to look away. “I can’t help it, I look at Teddy, he’s so helpless, he’s just a baby. And… yet, even when he’s screaming, and crying, and being a blob of snot, you still can’t help it. You’re exasperated, but you want to help him. We’re... we’re made like that, we humans. And I can’t comprehend someone listening to a little guy like Teddy crying… crying for Mumma, a Mum that isn’t going to come to him, and… and not wanting to pick him up and comfort him. I can’t imagine shutting Teddy in a closet so I don’t have to listen to him cry. I can’t… imagine not… not feeding him… because… because…” he couldn’t finish, and why was his face so wet?
“Hey,” said Harry, coming to kneel in front of him. “Hey, it’s all right.”
“No!” said Ron fiercely, every single mother-instinct that he didn’t know he had suddenly rushing out in all its vicious, over-protective glory, even if it was six years too late. “No, it isn’t! It isn’t all right, Harry! You should never have been left there! Someone should have come to check on you, should have made sure those Muggles were treating you right! Someone should have cared enough to come by, even if it was to have the Muggles do it, because the Muggles have people to do that sort of thing, don’t they? They have the Children Protection Squad, don’t they? Muggles who come by, and if a kid is being abused, rescue them?”
Harry was trying very hard not to smile, and it looked like it hurt. “Um, Ron, I think you mean a child protection agency.” He sighed. “And someone did call them, and the Dursleys managed to talk around them. Not long after, they just denied I was even there. They sent me to school the minimum amount required, and even then, I didn’t get to go regularly.” He got up. “Look, it’s over and done with, yeah? It’s in the past. We’re making sure that doesn’t happen to Teddy, aren’t we?”
“Yeah,” said Ron, frowning. It still wasn’t right, and he still itched to do something about it, though he had no idea what.
“Well, that’s what counts, then. We won’t let this happen to any other kid, if we can help it.” Harry smiled again. “Maybe we should make sure the Aurors have a division just for taking on cases involving children in situations like the one I was in, or Snape was in, or Tom Riddle, even…”
“Tom Riddle?” said Ron, frowning. Maybe he wasn’t the one who was addled. Maybe it was Harry.
“Yeah. He was raised in an orphanage, and it wasn’t even a really good one.” Harry looked thoughtful. “Just think, if he’d been raised in a loving home, or just with people who cared, think how different he might have been? How different everything else might have been?”
Ron shook his head and stood up, getting the tray for Harry as he put the mugs on it, and just managing a wan smile. “I dunno, Harry. I think that’s a bit much for my shallow emotional depths to fathom.”
Harry grinned. “Let’s go see if we can put Teddy in his bed, and give Dean a bit of relief. Or at least get him to change chests.”
“Yeah, okay, Harry,” said Ron, and they walked back to the sitting room. A division of Aurors, just for child protection. Probably not a bad idea. And probably one that Hermione could really get her teeth into. Yeah. And he finally had something to make things up with Hermione, something she’d really like. He grinned at Dean, who was yawning widely as he sat up, letting Harry take a sleeping Teddy from him. Yeah, for Teddy, and all the little Harrys that they didn’t know about yet. “Hot chocolate?”
Dean took it. “Yeah, thanks.”
Yeah, for now, life was good.
Author: auntbijou
Rating: G
Pairing: None really
Summary: Epiphanies are very personal, very private events, and can turn your world upside down. It takes a teething Teddy Lupin for Ron to finally understand Harry’s childhood, and what it meant.
Warning: Screaming baby (cover your ears), mentions of past abuse.
Words: 2,235
Disclaimer: It all belongs to J.K. Rowling. I make no money from this, it is for entertainment purposes only.
A/N: I’ve often wondered just what Ron and Hermione thought growing up in the Dursley household was like for Harry. And how they dealt with it, most especially Ron, since he came from such a loving home. And this is what my mind came up with. Enjoy!
Harry paused in the door of the library of Grimmauld Place. “It’s awfully quiet down there,” he said uncertainly, turning to look at Ron.
Ron blinked. “Actually, you know, it’s been quiet for a while now. Do… do you think Hermione hexed him or something?”
Harry went pale. “Oh, surely she wouldn’t!”
They hadn’t meant to leave Hermione alone with Teddy. Harry had taken Teddy for the weekend to give Andromeda a bit of a break. The little boy was teething, and very prone to screaming with the pain. Nothing helped, and ears ringing from four hours of non-stop crying and screaming, he’d called Ron and Hermione for help, stopping just short of calling Mrs. Weasley. Even Hermione’s advice, being the daughter of dentists, hadn’t worked, and Ron and Harry had rushed up to the library where there were several Wizarding books on childcare, hoping to find a remedy for Teddy’s pain.
They hurried out of the library, walking quietly down the stairs in case Teddy had passed out with exhaustion, and peeked into the sitting room.
On the couch in front of a low burning fire, Teddy was sprawled in sleep over the chest of a dozing Dean Thomas, an oddly shaped lump of ice on a ring sliding out of the little mouth.
“What is that?” asked Ron, frowning.
Harry wanted to hit himself. “An ice lolly,” he said softly. “Why didn’t I think of that??”
“Because you were too busy hiding up in the library,” said Hermione waspishly from behind them. They both jumped, and she whipped out her wand to cast a quick Muffliato around them. “Come on,” she said and turned to lead the way to the kitchen. Once they were in there, she let loose. “What were you thinking??? Do you know how long I was down here without a clue??? He was screaming, and then his mouth started bleeding!!”
“Bleeding?” said Harry, horrified, and he almost headed back into the sitting room, just to make sure Teddy was okay, but Hermione grabbed his arm and yanked him back.
“Yes, but when I made myself calm down, I remembered that it’s perfectly normal for a baby to bleed a little when teething. After all, their teeth are cutting through their gums, and that’s what makes it hurt so badly!” She shook her head, clearly exasperated with them. “I was about to call Mrs. Weasley, when Dean stuck his head in the floo, wanting to ask you something. He took one look at Teddy howling in my arms and disappeared. I thought he was running away, and I’m ashamed to say I said some rather nasty things. But ten minutes later, he suddenly appeared with bags in his hand. He took Teddy from me and set the bags on the table, took out the lolly molds and told me to fill them with water and cast a freezing charm. I did, he popped one out, handed it to Teddy, and instant silence!!”
“I’m really sorry, Hermione,” said Harry sheepishly. “I was searching through Wizarding Remedies for Common Childhood Ailments but it didn’t have a single thing in it about teething! I was so sure it would be in that book!”
Ron was staring at Hermione in disbelief. “Besides, you’re a girl! Shouldn’t you have known what to do?”
Hermione was stunned. “And where exactly would I have learned this?” she asked in a very dangerous tone.
“Well, with… er…”
“Were you going to say little brothers or sisters? Because I’m an only child, Ron, remember?” She scowled angrily, clearly put out. “And I’ve never babysat before, because I’ve been spending all my time in the Wizarding world, haven’t I? Every summer, I’d spend a couple of weeks with my parents, traveling, and then straight to the Burrow with your family. I don’t even know the neighbors in my parents’ neighborhood any more. I certainly didn’t do any babysitting!!”
Ron flushed. “I’m sorry, Hermione,” he said, trying to catch her hand, but she jerked angrily away from him.
“Don’t even,” she said, and turned to scowl at Harry. “Here,” she said, and handed him a book. What to Expect the First Year, it said. “And before you say a word,” Hermione said, turning to glare at Ron, “Dean brought it.” She turned back to Harry. “I’m leaving now. I’m too tense and stressed to be helpful. I read the book, and I know that now. But I am going to get my own copy and read it through, so next time, I’ll be more useful.” She kissed his cheek. “See you later,” and she went to the floo, calling out the address of her flat, and disappeared in a burst of green flame.
Ron grimaced. “Why’s she so angry? I apologized, didn’t I?”
Harry rolled his eyes. “I think it was from the assumption that she’d know what to do, Ron.”
“Well, she always knows what to do! That’s just Hermione! How would I know she didn’t know anything about kids??” Ron shoved his hands into his pockets. “I thought, she’s a girl, she should know?”
Harry snorted as he began to leaf through the book. “That’s a huge assumption, Ron. Why would she? Just because she’s a girl?? Have you been around a lot of babies?”
“Yeah,” said Ron. “I have a lot of little cousins.”
“Yet, you didn’t know much about how to help Teddy, did you?”
“No,” said Ron thoughtfully, “but I did know how to hold him, and how to feed him…”
“Why?”
“Well… I learned it, didn’t I? I helped with my little cousins, and… and… oh.” Ron blinked, the sudden comprehension on his face making him look somewhat addled.. “I get it.”
“Yeah,” said Harry, trying not to laugh. “And now you know why I don’t automatically know these things, either!”
Ron stared at him for a long moment. “Oh… Harry,” he said weakly.
“Well, I never had a good example, not really, have I?” Harry said cheerfully as he went to the stove to make hot chocolate. “I mean, I have a good example on how not to raise a child… and I have a good idea on how to handle teenagers, kind of, from your mother, but, babies?” Harry shook his head. “The only things the Dursleys ever taught me were how to cook, how to clean house, how to work in a garden, and how to stay quiet and unnoticed. Oh, and how to totally spoil a kid and raise a poor excuse of a human being. Though I have to admit, Dudley has made a bit of a turn-around, but he’s done that on his own.” He looked back up at Ron and smiled.
Ron stared at Harry, the deprivation and loneliness of his friend’s childhood only then truly sinking in. Harry had only been about nine months older than Teddy when he’d lost his parents. Suddenly, the idea of Teddy being locked in a closet to howl away his loneliness, until he realized that no one was coming, no Mumma or Dada coming to soothe away his hurt, no tender hands to touch him, no loving voice to sing away his fears, no… no one, no one to hold him, just hold him… his knees began to buckle…
“Whoa there!” And hands were holding his arms, leading him to a chair, helping him sit down, a hand was on the back of his head, forcing it down between his knees, and he was struggling to breathe. “Ron? Ron, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad…”
The worry and apology in Harry’s voice roused him as nothing else could, and he sat up, furious. “Don’t apologize!” Ron said roughly. “Don’t do it! It’s not your fault that I’m stupid and have the emotional depth of a teaspoon, or that I get overwhelmed when something finally sinks in through my thick skull!!” He stared up at Harry, seeing that puzzled and slightly hurt line between his dark brows and couldn’t stand it. “Don’t apologize to me about being abused and neglected as a child, and it’s taken me this long to realize it! To realize what it means!”
Harry sat back on his heels, watching Ron’s face. “I’m… I never really wanted you to know…”
“Yeah, I get that.” Ron closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. “It’s just… it’s Teddy, okay? I… I suddenly saw Teddy in that cupboard under the stairs, Teddy being ignored, Teddy having to wash dishes that were bigger than he was…” He shook his head and opened his eyes, searing Harry’s almost frantically. “You should have been loved, Harry! You should have been cared for! How could those people… how could they ignore someone so helpless, so small and…” he was unable to continue, his throat thick with tears, the unbearable pain that someone had done this to Harry, to his best friend, and he had been completely oblivious to it, even though he had seen the bars on the window, had noticed how hard it was for Harry to let other people touch him, how he never initiated touches of his own, not until he’d been around the Weasleys, and even then, it had taken years… “Look, I knew you were an orphan. I knew those Muggles weren’t kind to you, that they didn’t do right by you but… I think it just sank in, what it meant. What they did. What they didn’t do, and… and…” he had to look away. “I can’t help it, I look at Teddy, he’s so helpless, he’s just a baby. And… yet, even when he’s screaming, and crying, and being a blob of snot, you still can’t help it. You’re exasperated, but you want to help him. We’re... we’re made like that, we humans. And I can’t comprehend someone listening to a little guy like Teddy crying… crying for Mumma, a Mum that isn’t going to come to him, and… and not wanting to pick him up and comfort him. I can’t imagine shutting Teddy in a closet so I don’t have to listen to him cry. I can’t… imagine not… not feeding him… because… because…” he couldn’t finish, and why was his face so wet?
“Hey,” said Harry, coming to kneel in front of him. “Hey, it’s all right.”
“No!” said Ron fiercely, every single mother-instinct that he didn’t know he had suddenly rushing out in all its vicious, over-protective glory, even if it was six years too late. “No, it isn’t! It isn’t all right, Harry! You should never have been left there! Someone should have come to check on you, should have made sure those Muggles were treating you right! Someone should have cared enough to come by, even if it was to have the Muggles do it, because the Muggles have people to do that sort of thing, don’t they? They have the Children Protection Squad, don’t they? Muggles who come by, and if a kid is being abused, rescue them?”
Harry was trying very hard not to smile, and it looked like it hurt. “Um, Ron, I think you mean a child protection agency.” He sighed. “And someone did call them, and the Dursleys managed to talk around them. Not long after, they just denied I was even there. They sent me to school the minimum amount required, and even then, I didn’t get to go regularly.” He got up. “Look, it’s over and done with, yeah? It’s in the past. We’re making sure that doesn’t happen to Teddy, aren’t we?”
“Yeah,” said Ron, frowning. It still wasn’t right, and he still itched to do something about it, though he had no idea what.
“Well, that’s what counts, then. We won’t let this happen to any other kid, if we can help it.” Harry smiled again. “Maybe we should make sure the Aurors have a division just for taking on cases involving children in situations like the one I was in, or Snape was in, or Tom Riddle, even…”
“Tom Riddle?” said Ron, frowning. Maybe he wasn’t the one who was addled. Maybe it was Harry.
“Yeah. He was raised in an orphanage, and it wasn’t even a really good one.” Harry looked thoughtful. “Just think, if he’d been raised in a loving home, or just with people who cared, think how different he might have been? How different everything else might have been?”
Ron shook his head and stood up, getting the tray for Harry as he put the mugs on it, and just managing a wan smile. “I dunno, Harry. I think that’s a bit much for my shallow emotional depths to fathom.”
Harry grinned. “Let’s go see if we can put Teddy in his bed, and give Dean a bit of relief. Or at least get him to change chests.”
“Yeah, okay, Harry,” said Ron, and they walked back to the sitting room. A division of Aurors, just for child protection. Probably not a bad idea. And probably one that Hermione could really get her teeth into. Yeah. And he finally had something to make things up with Hermione, something she’d really like. He grinned at Dean, who was yawning widely as he sat up, letting Harry take a sleeping Teddy from him. Yeah, for Teddy, and all the little Harrys that they didn’t know about yet. “Hot chocolate?”
Dean took it. “Yeah, thanks.”
Yeah, for now, life was good.