fic for thedreamisreal: Thoughts on Time Travel (Ron, Luna, Fred, George, Remus, PG-13)
Title: Thoughts on Time Travel: Or, Conversations Ron Wishes Had Never Happened, At Least Not to Him
Author: magentabear
Recipient: thedreamisreal
Rating: PG-13
Character(s): Ron, Luna, Fred and George, Remus
Warnings: Mild swearing
Author's Notes: Thanks to queenb23more for the beta help, thanks to the mods for this lovely community and thanks to a mysterious someone for this very fun prompt. I hope you like how I used it. Happy Holidays, all!
--
"I don't believe in time travel," Luna announced.
"I-what? But you… what?"
Ron didn't understand what was happening to him, or what he had done to deserve it. Luna Lovegood didn't believe in something? It didn't compute. What was this world coming to?
"It makes no logical sense," she continued serenely. "Consider this: time moves in a linear fashion, which does suggest that it could be moved backward just as easily as it moves forward, but it moves differently for every person in this world. I imagine time moves very differently for you and me when we are in lessons. I find them fascinating and far too short. Time must crawl for you because you are not a very engaged or, frankly, good student. So when your mind wanders in class and you remember an earlier meal, you time travel in a way, yes? So in that case, yes, I suppose I believe in time travel. But in the way you are suggesting, in which a person physically appears in a different time and place, well, no. I don't believe in that. Time is too subjective for that to make sense."
Ron boggled at her. He was going to kill Fred and George
-
It started out innocently enough. These things always did.
Fred and George were discussing possible improvements to their daydream charms when Ron, for reasons he would never be able to justify, decided to chime in.
"But what if you add a bit of peppermint to the initial potion?" he asked. "It will counteract the side effects of excessive nose tweaking, yeah?"
They looked at him suspiciously.
"According to who?" Fred demanded.
"And just whose nose do you think will be tweaked anyway?"
"Because I certainly don't think your vast credentials leave me trusting your ideas."
"Do you have something against nose tweaking? Because he's right, why do we trust you when you don't even like nose tweaking?"
"That is not the logic I was using," Fred said, "but I stand by it."
Fred and George crossed their arms and turned the full force of their glares on him.
Ron glared right back. "I know things, alright? Peppermint is lovely. Who wouldn't want peppermint in their potion?"
"Fine," George snapped. "Peppermint. But you're going to be the one to test it."
-
"Not to mention the physics of it," Luna continued. "Where is your body when you time travel? Do you suddenly have two? How can physics allow such a thing? Or perhaps they simply increase the space between atoms and molecules and such things. Daddy mentioned that there's a lot of space in the things we are made of. Perhaps we wouldn't notice a little bit more. Or double more, I suppose. What do you think, Ronald?"
"Umph," he grunted. "Absolutely. Hey, pass me that Prophet, will ya?"
-
To the great shock of all involved, Ron's suggestion was a resounding success. Nose tweaking had never been an especially vital problem, but Fred and George both agreed that even an impulse to cheerfully pinch a deskmate's nose was something to be avoided, seeing as interested and note-taking students rarely pulled such stunts.
"And let's give credit where credit is due, brother," George said. "It's quite refreshing."
"The smell is delightful," Fred agreed. "Will wonders never cease?"
Ron breathed a quiet sigh of relief.
-
"And before you say anything about Time Turners," Luna suddenly interrupted her own free-flowing tangent about the intricacies of butterfly wings to say, "I don't believe that those were functioning magical artifacts. Not the way we understand time travel to work, that is. No matter your politics, I think we can all agree that the Ministry would never be able to hide something of that importance. Look how poorly they hid the Rotfang Conspiracy."
"Damn straight," Ron muttered as he turned back to the front of the sports page.
-
Remus' left eye twitched slightly when Fred and George mentioned the peppermint trick to them. Ron ignored the sign.
"Where did you get this idea?" Remus asked in a polite tone that in no way suggested his eye was twitching.
"Not you, too," he groaned. "I'm not the dropout in the conversation, alright?"
"I mean no offense," Remus insisted. "It's just, as a former professor, I know the Hogwarts curriculum quite well and I don't believe that is included. Among potioneers, of course, it is, but among the general student population? It's very unlikely."
"Are you and Hermione still on the outs?" Fred asked suddenly. "Did she tell you?"
Ron turned red and refused to answer.
"I don't think it was Hermione, brother," George snickered. "We're not even in school with them anymore and even we know she's finished with him."
"Boys," Remus said softly. "He's your brother. Be kind."
Ron turned, if possible, even redder. "Does it matter where I learned it? I didn't realize I was giving away ruddy state secrets. Next time I'll let you have your damn side effects."
"Now let's not get hasty," George began.
"Although I'm certain we would have figured it out eventually," Fred said.
"But still," George finished, "this is a family business and we appreciate everyone's input."
"So long as we don't ask for free samples?" Ron grumbled.
"Obviously."
Remus smiled his quiet smile and motioned for them to lean closer. "Please don't mention this to Harry, boys, but I only seemed startled because Snape was one of the few students who ever discovered this secret-the fuss Slughorn made of him was phenomenal, just phenomenal, I thought Sirius was going to have an aneurism-and after all the potions questions Harry was asking the other day, well, it's suspicious."
"What questions?" Fred and George asked in unison.
"Not important," Ron grunted. He elbowed Fred in the ribs and refused to make eye contact with either of them.
"Ron is correct, it's not important," Remus said smoothly. "I only mention it because when Harry and Snape are connected, it more often than not seems to end badly."
All three Weasleys choked back a laugh.
"Boys, please," Remus continued. "This conversation serves no one. Let the matter drop. Ron, don't mention anything to Harry. It will do no good."
-
"Ron?" Luna asked dreamily. "Why was this so important again?"
"Beats me," he answered honestly.
-
Ron didn't mention it to Harry (Remus was right; Snape and Harry together never ended well) and that conversation with the twins would have been the end of it had Remus not pulled him aside after one of Molly's dinners to ask more peppermint-related questions. Ron found the whole thing puzzling.
Remus sighed, ran his hand through his hair and fixed Ron with a look. "My apologies for being so strange. Let me give you the backstory."
Ron, who wasn't entirely sure he needed a backstory for something he wasn't supposed to be sharing anyway, nodded politely.
"There was a rather long debate in my sixth year at Hogwarts. It went on for months. Snape insisted he could create a potion that could cause time travel. He was convinced it was the best way to achieve such travel. Sirius, of course, disagreed. He said a strong spell was the only hope and spent hours in the dormitory muttering in Latin. James sided with Sirius, as he must, and Snape began throwing all his failed potions on the both of them."
Ron laughed.
"Yes, it was very childish," Remus said with a smile. "But rather effective, I'm sure you can believe. Well, one day Snape threw a peppermint-infused potion on Sirius and James was so bothered by the smell he made him go sit alone during lessons."
"Friendly move, eh?"
"Such is life. But that was the beginning, more or less, of the daydream potion your brothers have turned into profit. Sirius spent days talking about the lovely time he'd had in class and eventually Snape cottoned on. His time travel potion was more of a mental trip than a physical one. I never realized, though, until your comment, what the peppermint does."
"But I thought Fred and George made up the potion themselves? That's what they told me."
"Of course they said that," Remus chortled. "And yes, they did refine it considerably and make it far more effective but no, the idea has been floating around for some time. I simply wondered how the peppermint trick traveled from Snape to Fred and George. Something tells me they do not write letters to one another."
Ron was scandalized at the very thought.
This was the moment Fred and George walked in the room (also looking scandalized) and the moment Ron began to worry. He wasn't sure why, exactly, he felt suddenly anxious but this was a boy who had grown up with five older brothers. He had some instincts.
"A potion that can cause time travel," Fred hissed.
"How did you not mention this before?" George demanded. "This is critical information."
Remus frowned at them. "I do not like your Extendable Ears. Not one bit."
-
"Perhaps the Room of Requirment could mimic time travel?" Luna mused quietly. "If I want to see how Daddy and Mum met, would it supply? But that's not the same thing at all because I wouldn't be interacting with them. It would be more like going to the theater, and that is little more than memories. Well, someone's memories. Perhaps not your own. That's why time travel is so difficult, do you see? Because we all remember the past differently, even if the same thing happened to all of us, so would we all go back to our own perspective or would it be a neutral travel? Something like a Pensieve, perhaps? But again, that's just a show you're watching. No interaction."
She stared into middle distance for a few moments. He waited.
"Really, Ron, I find it hard to believe time travel is possible."
"Do you?" he asked dully. "But the Blibbering Humdi-whatever is totally logical?"
"Naturally. Daddy and I spent weeks researching that article for The Quibbler. We only use the best sources."
"Naturally," he echoed.
-
His instincts were proved correct when he received a rather sharp smack on the head and two sets of hands dragged him into the closet on the second floor.
"Ow! Stop that. You could have just asked for a chat."
Fred and George grinned as one. "More fun this way."
"We've decided we like this time travel business. Could be very profitable."
Ron rubbed his head and looked at them. "What does this have to do with me?"
"This is a family business, remember?"
"And you are family-"
"So any hints you might have-"
"That you better have-"
"Would be greatly appreciated."
Ron had always been impressed that they could glare and grin at once. Few people were so skilled.
"We want to talk with Sirius about these time travel spells he was working on," George explained.
"He could help us market the idea properly, we feel."
"And, well, it's Sirius Black. The pranks he could tell…"
"The things we could learn…"
Ron snapped his fingers in front of their faces. They looked startled and more than a bit disappointed that Sirius Black was not, in fact, standing in front of them.
"Are you telling me," Ron said slowly, "that you want help making a time travel spell so that you can go back in time and talk to Sirius about how to make a time travel spell?"
"Yes."
"Exactly."
"I can't be the only one who sees a problem with that, right?"
"The only problem I see here is your face."
"Nicely phrased, dear brother. Time travel isn't logical, oh young one, so don't even try to pull a Hermione on us. Now get to work. Pip pip!"
-
Ron was not a very good student. He wasn't stupid but he disliked school and found most of it to be a waste of his time. That was why he was so surprised to find himself fascinated by the potion war Remus had mentioned. Even if he hadn't been receiving veiled threats for tip from his annoying brothers, he would have been curious. Probably. But not curious enough to go to Harry and that Prince. He would only enable that particular obsession so much.
But still. He had to ask someone and since Hermione was thoroughly out of the question he turned his sights on the Ravenclaws. They, if no one else, would have to know something about potions.
It was almost convenient, therefore, that McGonagall decided to combine his (utterly unfair and completely pointless) detention with that of Luna Lovegood's. She was an especially good choice because even if she did start spreading rumors about Fred and George copying from Snape or Harry having a strange fixation with peppermint, no one would believe her.
Most unfortunately, the words "time travel" derailed her completely and he was able to learn absolutely nothing useful for her. He would simply have to threaten Fred and George with Ginny's Bat Bogey hex or that wonderful toenail curse to get them off his back. He passed time during Luna's numerous tangents imagining the looks on their faces as their toenails exploded in size.
But that happy image could only block out so much of Luna's talk. Ron found himself hoping he never again had to deal with her during a detention ever again. Clearly punishment did something to her. She didn't cope with the stress well. This, he decided, was why Ravenclaws served the fewest detentions out of anyone in the school. They couldn't handle the stress. Didn't have the courage, frankly.
Still she talked. He read the sports section again.
By the time Professor McGonagall came in to chastise them for talking too much and working too little, he was so grateful he could dance.
He didn't, of course, actually dance. Even Luna would find that odd.
But he didn't have any hints for Fred and George, either.
Author: magentabear
Recipient: thedreamisreal
Rating: PG-13
Character(s): Ron, Luna, Fred and George, Remus
Warnings: Mild swearing
Author's Notes: Thanks to queenb23more for the beta help, thanks to the mods for this lovely community and thanks to a mysterious someone for this very fun prompt. I hope you like how I used it. Happy Holidays, all!
--
"I don't believe in time travel," Luna announced.
"I-what? But you… what?"
Ron didn't understand what was happening to him, or what he had done to deserve it. Luna Lovegood didn't believe in something? It didn't compute. What was this world coming to?
"It makes no logical sense," she continued serenely. "Consider this: time moves in a linear fashion, which does suggest that it could be moved backward just as easily as it moves forward, but it moves differently for every person in this world. I imagine time moves very differently for you and me when we are in lessons. I find them fascinating and far too short. Time must crawl for you because you are not a very engaged or, frankly, good student. So when your mind wanders in class and you remember an earlier meal, you time travel in a way, yes? So in that case, yes, I suppose I believe in time travel. But in the way you are suggesting, in which a person physically appears in a different time and place, well, no. I don't believe in that. Time is too subjective for that to make sense."
Ron boggled at her. He was going to kill Fred and George
-
It started out innocently enough. These things always did.
Fred and George were discussing possible improvements to their daydream charms when Ron, for reasons he would never be able to justify, decided to chime in.
"But what if you add a bit of peppermint to the initial potion?" he asked. "It will counteract the side effects of excessive nose tweaking, yeah?"
They looked at him suspiciously.
"According to who?" Fred demanded.
"And just whose nose do you think will be tweaked anyway?"
"Because I certainly don't think your vast credentials leave me trusting your ideas."
"Do you have something against nose tweaking? Because he's right, why do we trust you when you don't even like nose tweaking?"
"That is not the logic I was using," Fred said, "but I stand by it."
Fred and George crossed their arms and turned the full force of their glares on him.
Ron glared right back. "I know things, alright? Peppermint is lovely. Who wouldn't want peppermint in their potion?"
"Fine," George snapped. "Peppermint. But you're going to be the one to test it."
-
"Not to mention the physics of it," Luna continued. "Where is your body when you time travel? Do you suddenly have two? How can physics allow such a thing? Or perhaps they simply increase the space between atoms and molecules and such things. Daddy mentioned that there's a lot of space in the things we are made of. Perhaps we wouldn't notice a little bit more. Or double more, I suppose. What do you think, Ronald?"
"Umph," he grunted. "Absolutely. Hey, pass me that Prophet, will ya?"
-
To the great shock of all involved, Ron's suggestion was a resounding success. Nose tweaking had never been an especially vital problem, but Fred and George both agreed that even an impulse to cheerfully pinch a deskmate's nose was something to be avoided, seeing as interested and note-taking students rarely pulled such stunts.
"And let's give credit where credit is due, brother," George said. "It's quite refreshing."
"The smell is delightful," Fred agreed. "Will wonders never cease?"
Ron breathed a quiet sigh of relief.
-
"And before you say anything about Time Turners," Luna suddenly interrupted her own free-flowing tangent about the intricacies of butterfly wings to say, "I don't believe that those were functioning magical artifacts. Not the way we understand time travel to work, that is. No matter your politics, I think we can all agree that the Ministry would never be able to hide something of that importance. Look how poorly they hid the Rotfang Conspiracy."
"Damn straight," Ron muttered as he turned back to the front of the sports page.
-
Remus' left eye twitched slightly when Fred and George mentioned the peppermint trick to them. Ron ignored the sign.
"Where did you get this idea?" Remus asked in a polite tone that in no way suggested his eye was twitching.
"Not you, too," he groaned. "I'm not the dropout in the conversation, alright?"
"I mean no offense," Remus insisted. "It's just, as a former professor, I know the Hogwarts curriculum quite well and I don't believe that is included. Among potioneers, of course, it is, but among the general student population? It's very unlikely."
"Are you and Hermione still on the outs?" Fred asked suddenly. "Did she tell you?"
Ron turned red and refused to answer.
"I don't think it was Hermione, brother," George snickered. "We're not even in school with them anymore and even we know she's finished with him."
"Boys," Remus said softly. "He's your brother. Be kind."
Ron turned, if possible, even redder. "Does it matter where I learned it? I didn't realize I was giving away ruddy state secrets. Next time I'll let you have your damn side effects."
"Now let's not get hasty," George began.
"Although I'm certain we would have figured it out eventually," Fred said.
"But still," George finished, "this is a family business and we appreciate everyone's input."
"So long as we don't ask for free samples?" Ron grumbled.
"Obviously."
Remus smiled his quiet smile and motioned for them to lean closer. "Please don't mention this to Harry, boys, but I only seemed startled because Snape was one of the few students who ever discovered this secret-the fuss Slughorn made of him was phenomenal, just phenomenal, I thought Sirius was going to have an aneurism-and after all the potions questions Harry was asking the other day, well, it's suspicious."
"What questions?" Fred and George asked in unison.
"Not important," Ron grunted. He elbowed Fred in the ribs and refused to make eye contact with either of them.
"Ron is correct, it's not important," Remus said smoothly. "I only mention it because when Harry and Snape are connected, it more often than not seems to end badly."
All three Weasleys choked back a laugh.
"Boys, please," Remus continued. "This conversation serves no one. Let the matter drop. Ron, don't mention anything to Harry. It will do no good."
-
"Ron?" Luna asked dreamily. "Why was this so important again?"
"Beats me," he answered honestly.
-
Ron didn't mention it to Harry (Remus was right; Snape and Harry together never ended well) and that conversation with the twins would have been the end of it had Remus not pulled him aside after one of Molly's dinners to ask more peppermint-related questions. Ron found the whole thing puzzling.
Remus sighed, ran his hand through his hair and fixed Ron with a look. "My apologies for being so strange. Let me give you the backstory."
Ron, who wasn't entirely sure he needed a backstory for something he wasn't supposed to be sharing anyway, nodded politely.
"There was a rather long debate in my sixth year at Hogwarts. It went on for months. Snape insisted he could create a potion that could cause time travel. He was convinced it was the best way to achieve such travel. Sirius, of course, disagreed. He said a strong spell was the only hope and spent hours in the dormitory muttering in Latin. James sided with Sirius, as he must, and Snape began throwing all his failed potions on the both of them."
Ron laughed.
"Yes, it was very childish," Remus said with a smile. "But rather effective, I'm sure you can believe. Well, one day Snape threw a peppermint-infused potion on Sirius and James was so bothered by the smell he made him go sit alone during lessons."
"Friendly move, eh?"
"Such is life. But that was the beginning, more or less, of the daydream potion your brothers have turned into profit. Sirius spent days talking about the lovely time he'd had in class and eventually Snape cottoned on. His time travel potion was more of a mental trip than a physical one. I never realized, though, until your comment, what the peppermint does."
"But I thought Fred and George made up the potion themselves? That's what they told me."
"Of course they said that," Remus chortled. "And yes, they did refine it considerably and make it far more effective but no, the idea has been floating around for some time. I simply wondered how the peppermint trick traveled from Snape to Fred and George. Something tells me they do not write letters to one another."
Ron was scandalized at the very thought.
This was the moment Fred and George walked in the room (also looking scandalized) and the moment Ron began to worry. He wasn't sure why, exactly, he felt suddenly anxious but this was a boy who had grown up with five older brothers. He had some instincts.
"A potion that can cause time travel," Fred hissed.
"How did you not mention this before?" George demanded. "This is critical information."
Remus frowned at them. "I do not like your Extendable Ears. Not one bit."
-
"Perhaps the Room of Requirment could mimic time travel?" Luna mused quietly. "If I want to see how Daddy and Mum met, would it supply? But that's not the same thing at all because I wouldn't be interacting with them. It would be more like going to the theater, and that is little more than memories. Well, someone's memories. Perhaps not your own. That's why time travel is so difficult, do you see? Because we all remember the past differently, even if the same thing happened to all of us, so would we all go back to our own perspective or would it be a neutral travel? Something like a Pensieve, perhaps? But again, that's just a show you're watching. No interaction."
She stared into middle distance for a few moments. He waited.
"Really, Ron, I find it hard to believe time travel is possible."
"Do you?" he asked dully. "But the Blibbering Humdi-whatever is totally logical?"
"Naturally. Daddy and I spent weeks researching that article for The Quibbler. We only use the best sources."
"Naturally," he echoed.
-
His instincts were proved correct when he received a rather sharp smack on the head and two sets of hands dragged him into the closet on the second floor.
"Ow! Stop that. You could have just asked for a chat."
Fred and George grinned as one. "More fun this way."
"We've decided we like this time travel business. Could be very profitable."
Ron rubbed his head and looked at them. "What does this have to do with me?"
"This is a family business, remember?"
"And you are family-"
"So any hints you might have-"
"That you better have-"
"Would be greatly appreciated."
Ron had always been impressed that they could glare and grin at once. Few people were so skilled.
"We want to talk with Sirius about these time travel spells he was working on," George explained.
"He could help us market the idea properly, we feel."
"And, well, it's Sirius Black. The pranks he could tell…"
"The things we could learn…"
Ron snapped his fingers in front of their faces. They looked startled and more than a bit disappointed that Sirius Black was not, in fact, standing in front of them.
"Are you telling me," Ron said slowly, "that you want help making a time travel spell so that you can go back in time and talk to Sirius about how to make a time travel spell?"
"Yes."
"Exactly."
"I can't be the only one who sees a problem with that, right?"
"The only problem I see here is your face."
"Nicely phrased, dear brother. Time travel isn't logical, oh young one, so don't even try to pull a Hermione on us. Now get to work. Pip pip!"
-
Ron was not a very good student. He wasn't stupid but he disliked school and found most of it to be a waste of his time. That was why he was so surprised to find himself fascinated by the potion war Remus had mentioned. Even if he hadn't been receiving veiled threats for tip from his annoying brothers, he would have been curious. Probably. But not curious enough to go to Harry and that Prince. He would only enable that particular obsession so much.
But still. He had to ask someone and since Hermione was thoroughly out of the question he turned his sights on the Ravenclaws. They, if no one else, would have to know something about potions.
It was almost convenient, therefore, that McGonagall decided to combine his (utterly unfair and completely pointless) detention with that of Luna Lovegood's. She was an especially good choice because even if she did start spreading rumors about Fred and George copying from Snape or Harry having a strange fixation with peppermint, no one would believe her.
Most unfortunately, the words "time travel" derailed her completely and he was able to learn absolutely nothing useful for her. He would simply have to threaten Fred and George with Ginny's Bat Bogey hex or that wonderful toenail curse to get them off his back. He passed time during Luna's numerous tangents imagining the looks on their faces as their toenails exploded in size.
But that happy image could only block out so much of Luna's talk. Ron found himself hoping he never again had to deal with her during a detention ever again. Clearly punishment did something to her. She didn't cope with the stress well. This, he decided, was why Ravenclaws served the fewest detentions out of anyone in the school. They couldn't handle the stress. Didn't have the courage, frankly.
Still she talked. He read the sports section again.
By the time Professor McGonagall came in to chastise them for talking too much and working too little, he was so grateful he could dance.
He didn't, of course, actually dance. Even Luna would find that odd.
But he didn't have any hints for Fred and George, either.