fic for bribitribbit: A Dinner at the Potters (The Potters, Lily, Sirius, R)
Title: A Dinner at the Potters
Recipient: bribitribbit
Rating: Soft R, for language
Characters: James Potter, Lily Evans, Sirius Black, Mr. and Mrs. Potter
Warnings: Language, slight mentions of sex
Author's Notes: Lily comes over for supper during the Christmas holiday of her Seventh year, only to find a harsh disconnect with Sirius Black, who has some other plans for the night.
I left the Potters unnamed because it seemed smart in this case. I wanted to go with humor for the holidays, and this is my first try at writing MWPP era fiction, but I really hope you enjoy this - happy holidays! =)
--
James knew right off that it was not a clever idea to have Sirius over for the Christmas holiday of his Seventh year. Of course, his parents had been more than willing to have Sirius over, as they did nearly every other holiday during the school year. Normally James would be absolutely thrilled to have Sirius right there, ready to talk or have an adventure with, but this holiday… this holiday Lily would be there. She'd finally come around earlier in the year, and now the Potters wanted a chance to meet James's girlfriend on Christmas Eve.
It was now only a few hours before the dinner, and James was up in his room, attempting to run a comb through his mess of black hair. James's room was filled with collared shirts that had been thrown aside when he had decided not to wear them, and Sirius sat on James's bed, tying a noose with his friend's yellow tie.
"It's a joke, then, right?" Sirius asked him, looking over to see James standing in the mirror and talking to himself. "You really don't expect me to sit and the table and be civil with her, do you? After everything about her being so full of herself and being so snide, and now I'm supposed to share a bleeding Christmas goose with her?" He mocked hanging himself so that James could see him in the mirror.
"It's a Christmas chicken, actually. My parents haven't figured out if they want to spend the galleons on a goose for Lily yet. And you're being ridiculous, you know that, don't you, Padfoot?" James told him. He rolled his eyes when he caught a glance of Sirius pretending to be hung by that hideous yellow tie of James's that he didn't even like.
"You're the one being ridiculous, I believe, Prongs," the other boy told him. "And your hair is going to look terrible no matter what - because you are not the kind of pampered person who combs their hair. That is something that girls and ponces do. As far as I know, at least," he added, with an awkward glance over at James, "you are neither of those things."
"C'mon, can't you quit it?" James groaned. He tucked his collared green shirt into his black trousers and glanced in the mirror, adjusting his glances. "I want this to go really well, yeah? So can you just be polite and not say anything obscene to her - or to my parents, for that matter?"
"Gods, no, not your parents! Kindest people in the world, they are! I wouldn't do anything against them, ever."
"And Lily?"
"All right, I solemnly swear that I won't say anything I'll later regret from a beating out of you, Prongs," Sirius promised with the kind of grin James knew he shouldn't trust. "But I'm only doing it for you, not Evans, you know, because I love you."
"Shut it, you're a bleeding ponce."
"I hate you, Prongs."
"I know."
* * * *
Lily arrived on the doorstep around seven, her hair tied back in a tight ponytail. She wore a plum-colored sweater that made James nearly melt on the spot. The light bounced off of those gorgeous green eyes of her as James made his way to the foyer to join where his parents stood off to the side. He kissed her politely on the cheek and grasped her hand, as his parents stood in the foyer with him, and Sirius sat frowning on the staircase to the left of the foyer (wearing that bleeding yellow tie only because James had not succeeded in ripping out of his hands).
"Mum, Dad, this is Lily Evans," James introduced, as Sirius snorted off to the side. "Lily, these are my parents, as you might have assumed."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, really," Lily said with a smile. "I've heard so much about you."
"And us, you, my dear. We've heard so much about you from James. You're even more beautiful than he described," Mrs. Potter replied, putting her arm around. Sirius gave a disgusted look at James, who promptly stuck out his tongue. "Come then, we might as well all have some supper."
Mrs. Potter led the rest of the family, and Lily and Sirius to the dining room table, where a roasted chicken appeared with bowls of stuffing and freshly baked bread and mashed potatoes. Mr. and Mrs. Potter sat at either head of the table, as the three students sat next to each other, Lily, followed by Sirius, followed by James. It had not been James's decision to let Sirius sit by Lily, but it had happened nonetheless and he knew he would be quick to regret it.
"So, Lily, what are your plans for when you leave Hogwarts?" Mr. Potter asked, taking a bite of some chicken.
"Shag James absolutely senseless? Wasn't that your plan with him, Evans?" Sirius muttered to her with a terrible grin on his face.
Lily kicked him under the table and then smiled at Mr. Potter. "I'm not positive yet, but I think I'll end up going to Auror school and see how well I do there. I'm reasonably good at Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts, brilliant, from what I hear, at Potions, and I've got enough of a background on Muggle Studies already. I think it'd be a nice evened-out career, if you understand where I'm coming from. If that doesn't work out, perhaps just a small job in the Ministry or something like that."
"Of course," he replied. "You know, James is thinking about becoming an Auror as well - "
"To get even more opportunities to shag you in secret corridors, right, Evans?" Sirius murmured to Lily.
"Fucking shut it, Black!" Lily hissed.
" - but I think it's probably because of his fantastic marks in Defense Against the Dark Arts this passed year," he continued.
"James is really wonderful in Defense. I can't even begin to explain some of the things he does with a wand, honestly," she commented, shooting a smile over to James, who turned red and looked down at his food.
"Can't even begin to explain what he does with wand? You know what he does - "
"Sirius!!" Lily murmured again, jamming the tip of her heel into his calf.
"Sorry, Lily," Sirius said loudly, so the rest of the table could hear. "But would you mind moving over a bit? You've kicked me a few times now and I don't want to be rude or anything but - "
"Of course," she answers, moving closer to James.
"Actually, Sirius, would you mind going and getting the cake frosted? It'll only take a few minutes with the spellbook I have out on the table in the kitchen," Mrs. Potter said, sweetly.
"Of course, Mrs. Potter," he replied with a kind smile towards her.
"Er - d'you mind if I use your lavatory?" Lily asked suddenly.
"Not at all, last room on the left, down that hall," Mr. Potter replied, pointing down the far hallway, where Sirius was walking down towards the kitchen.
Lily grinned and followed Sirius, and when he took a left into the kitchen, she took a quick left and sat down on the counter, next to the cake that Sirius was attempting to frost.
"You think you're being funny, right? Is that what this is about? A little prank to play so this doesn't go well and James can go back to the usual slags he's seen with?" she accused him.
Sirius turned around in mock surprise and gave a forced laugh. "That's a sweet thought, you know, for right now, thinking that it's all about you. But that selfish act is probably going to get old with James around," he told her. Sirius dropped his voice to a mere whisper and added, "You know how he is about attention."
"All right then, so it has nothing to do with me," Lily began. "So what is it then? Is James dying from some horrible disease and you want to protect him from having a girlfriend he actually likes? Are you possessed? Are you two actually together or something of that sort - which I would rather know now than opposed to later on in this relationship? What is it?"
"See? That's exactly it! He's bleeding James Potter! He's not supposed to have relationships! He's not supposed to be Head Boy! He's supposed to date as many slags as he wants all at once, and break rules, and still be one of the best students to pass through Hogwarts. He's not supposed to be sneaking glances at the Head Girl as they eat bleeding chicken and cake with frosting - that I should be putting on right now - while they're at his parents' house!" Sirius told her harshly.
She looked down, and then glanced back at Sirius. "Is that true?"
"Look, no offense to you, love, but it's just that James isn't exactly built for the kind of relationship you're thinking of," he added, feeling a little bit guilty about what he had just said to her. "And… and he's got a disease that you'll get if you shag him again. So I'd stop shagging him, too, if I were you. You'll get leprechauns in places you didn't even knew they fit."
"Really? Oh, those bumps - I should have known!"
"Right, so look, no hard feelings, yeah? I - he - this isn't good for anyone, really."
"Sorry then," Lily told him, with a sad smile, "I guess I shouldn't have wasted my time with James Potter who now has given me some sort of disease, you say. You have fun being jealous of his relationship with me, then, yeah?" And as she hopped off of the counter where Sirius still tried to frost the cake, Lily pressed her hand on the froster, as pink frosting splashed up in his face.
"What's going on?" James nearly yelled, as he slid passed the door on his black socks. He walked back to the entrance way to the kitchen. "Sirius? What the bleeding hell is going on in here?"
"Nothing," she told James, sliding her arms around his waist. "I was just talking with Sirius and then he made a mistake frosting the cake and got it all over his poor face."
"Talking?" James mouthed at Sirius.
Sirius nodded back, awkwardly.
"Brilliant! I was so terrified something would happen between the two of you tonight that I would regret, but it looks like you've become great friends. I can't even begin to explain how relieved I am - "
James continued to talk as Lily levitated the froster next to Sirius's hand, and mouthed to him, "Truce, yeah?"
Sirius nodded again, scowling at her, as frosting dripped off of his face and onto the kitchen floor.
* * * *
As the dinner finished up and Lily stood in the foyer yet again, grabbing her coat and shoes. She kissed the Potter good-bye, as James and Sirius walked her out towards where her parents had parked outside the house.
"Er, James, d'you mind if I just talk to Sirius for a moment before I say good-bye to you?" Lily asked, as they stood out in the cool December air.
"I s'pose."
"Look, Black," she tells him, looking Sirius in the eye with her piercing green ones, "I've got nothing against you, despite you whispering obscene things to me during dinner and attempting to convince me that I had a disease from James. I'm not trying to take your beloved best friend away from you, honestly. So why don't we just end this little feud here and just continue being close to James?"
"Fair enough," Sirius agreed. "But only because of James."
"Right, well then, I'd be a little more careful when frosting cakes, yeah?"
"Of course, and I'd be a little more careful when looking into your coat pocket, yeah?"
Lily scowled and Sirius watched as when she went to kiss James good-bye, she took the toad out of her pocket and passed it into James's trouser pocket.
As the two boys waved good-bye as Lily's parents pulled out of the driveway (with her bitter younger sister in the backseat, who had some sort of terrible frown on her face), James leapt up in the air, cursing: "How the fuck did a toad get into my pocket, Padfoot?"
Recipient: bribitribbit
Rating: Soft R, for language
Characters: James Potter, Lily Evans, Sirius Black, Mr. and Mrs. Potter
Warnings: Language, slight mentions of sex
Author's Notes: Lily comes over for supper during the Christmas holiday of her Seventh year, only to find a harsh disconnect with Sirius Black, who has some other plans for the night.
I left the Potters unnamed because it seemed smart in this case. I wanted to go with humor for the holidays, and this is my first try at writing MWPP era fiction, but I really hope you enjoy this - happy holidays! =)
--
James knew right off that it was not a clever idea to have Sirius over for the Christmas holiday of his Seventh year. Of course, his parents had been more than willing to have Sirius over, as they did nearly every other holiday during the school year. Normally James would be absolutely thrilled to have Sirius right there, ready to talk or have an adventure with, but this holiday… this holiday Lily would be there. She'd finally come around earlier in the year, and now the Potters wanted a chance to meet James's girlfriend on Christmas Eve.
It was now only a few hours before the dinner, and James was up in his room, attempting to run a comb through his mess of black hair. James's room was filled with collared shirts that had been thrown aside when he had decided not to wear them, and Sirius sat on James's bed, tying a noose with his friend's yellow tie.
"It's a joke, then, right?" Sirius asked him, looking over to see James standing in the mirror and talking to himself. "You really don't expect me to sit and the table and be civil with her, do you? After everything about her being so full of herself and being so snide, and now I'm supposed to share a bleeding Christmas goose with her?" He mocked hanging himself so that James could see him in the mirror.
"It's a Christmas chicken, actually. My parents haven't figured out if they want to spend the galleons on a goose for Lily yet. And you're being ridiculous, you know that, don't you, Padfoot?" James told him. He rolled his eyes when he caught a glance of Sirius pretending to be hung by that hideous yellow tie of James's that he didn't even like.
"You're the one being ridiculous, I believe, Prongs," the other boy told him. "And your hair is going to look terrible no matter what - because you are not the kind of pampered person who combs their hair. That is something that girls and ponces do. As far as I know, at least," he added, with an awkward glance over at James, "you are neither of those things."
"C'mon, can't you quit it?" James groaned. He tucked his collared green shirt into his black trousers and glanced in the mirror, adjusting his glances. "I want this to go really well, yeah? So can you just be polite and not say anything obscene to her - or to my parents, for that matter?"
"Gods, no, not your parents! Kindest people in the world, they are! I wouldn't do anything against them, ever."
"And Lily?"
"All right, I solemnly swear that I won't say anything I'll later regret from a beating out of you, Prongs," Sirius promised with the kind of grin James knew he shouldn't trust. "But I'm only doing it for you, not Evans, you know, because I love you."
"Shut it, you're a bleeding ponce."
"I hate you, Prongs."
"I know."
* * * *
Lily arrived on the doorstep around seven, her hair tied back in a tight ponytail. She wore a plum-colored sweater that made James nearly melt on the spot. The light bounced off of those gorgeous green eyes of her as James made his way to the foyer to join where his parents stood off to the side. He kissed her politely on the cheek and grasped her hand, as his parents stood in the foyer with him, and Sirius sat frowning on the staircase to the left of the foyer (wearing that bleeding yellow tie only because James had not succeeded in ripping out of his hands).
"Mum, Dad, this is Lily Evans," James introduced, as Sirius snorted off to the side. "Lily, these are my parents, as you might have assumed."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, really," Lily said with a smile. "I've heard so much about you."
"And us, you, my dear. We've heard so much about you from James. You're even more beautiful than he described," Mrs. Potter replied, putting her arm around. Sirius gave a disgusted look at James, who promptly stuck out his tongue. "Come then, we might as well all have some supper."
Mrs. Potter led the rest of the family, and Lily and Sirius to the dining room table, where a roasted chicken appeared with bowls of stuffing and freshly baked bread and mashed potatoes. Mr. and Mrs. Potter sat at either head of the table, as the three students sat next to each other, Lily, followed by Sirius, followed by James. It had not been James's decision to let Sirius sit by Lily, but it had happened nonetheless and he knew he would be quick to regret it.
"So, Lily, what are your plans for when you leave Hogwarts?" Mr. Potter asked, taking a bite of some chicken.
"Shag James absolutely senseless? Wasn't that your plan with him, Evans?" Sirius muttered to her with a terrible grin on his face.
Lily kicked him under the table and then smiled at Mr. Potter. "I'm not positive yet, but I think I'll end up going to Auror school and see how well I do there. I'm reasonably good at Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts, brilliant, from what I hear, at Potions, and I've got enough of a background on Muggle Studies already. I think it'd be a nice evened-out career, if you understand where I'm coming from. If that doesn't work out, perhaps just a small job in the Ministry or something like that."
"Of course," he replied. "You know, James is thinking about becoming an Auror as well - "
"To get even more opportunities to shag you in secret corridors, right, Evans?" Sirius murmured to Lily.
"Fucking shut it, Black!" Lily hissed.
" - but I think it's probably because of his fantastic marks in Defense Against the Dark Arts this passed year," he continued.
"James is really wonderful in Defense. I can't even begin to explain some of the things he does with a wand, honestly," she commented, shooting a smile over to James, who turned red and looked down at his food.
"Can't even begin to explain what he does with wand? You know what he does - "
"Sirius!!" Lily murmured again, jamming the tip of her heel into his calf.
"Sorry, Lily," Sirius said loudly, so the rest of the table could hear. "But would you mind moving over a bit? You've kicked me a few times now and I don't want to be rude or anything but - "
"Of course," she answers, moving closer to James.
"Actually, Sirius, would you mind going and getting the cake frosted? It'll only take a few minutes with the spellbook I have out on the table in the kitchen," Mrs. Potter said, sweetly.
"Of course, Mrs. Potter," he replied with a kind smile towards her.
"Er - d'you mind if I use your lavatory?" Lily asked suddenly.
"Not at all, last room on the left, down that hall," Mr. Potter replied, pointing down the far hallway, where Sirius was walking down towards the kitchen.
Lily grinned and followed Sirius, and when he took a left into the kitchen, she took a quick left and sat down on the counter, next to the cake that Sirius was attempting to frost.
"You think you're being funny, right? Is that what this is about? A little prank to play so this doesn't go well and James can go back to the usual slags he's seen with?" she accused him.
Sirius turned around in mock surprise and gave a forced laugh. "That's a sweet thought, you know, for right now, thinking that it's all about you. But that selfish act is probably going to get old with James around," he told her. Sirius dropped his voice to a mere whisper and added, "You know how he is about attention."
"All right then, so it has nothing to do with me," Lily began. "So what is it then? Is James dying from some horrible disease and you want to protect him from having a girlfriend he actually likes? Are you possessed? Are you two actually together or something of that sort - which I would rather know now than opposed to later on in this relationship? What is it?"
"See? That's exactly it! He's bleeding James Potter! He's not supposed to have relationships! He's not supposed to be Head Boy! He's supposed to date as many slags as he wants all at once, and break rules, and still be one of the best students to pass through Hogwarts. He's not supposed to be sneaking glances at the Head Girl as they eat bleeding chicken and cake with frosting - that I should be putting on right now - while they're at his parents' house!" Sirius told her harshly.
She looked down, and then glanced back at Sirius. "Is that true?"
"Look, no offense to you, love, but it's just that James isn't exactly built for the kind of relationship you're thinking of," he added, feeling a little bit guilty about what he had just said to her. "And… and he's got a disease that you'll get if you shag him again. So I'd stop shagging him, too, if I were you. You'll get leprechauns in places you didn't even knew they fit."
"Really? Oh, those bumps - I should have known!"
"Right, so look, no hard feelings, yeah? I - he - this isn't good for anyone, really."
"Sorry then," Lily told him, with a sad smile, "I guess I shouldn't have wasted my time with James Potter who now has given me some sort of disease, you say. You have fun being jealous of his relationship with me, then, yeah?" And as she hopped off of the counter where Sirius still tried to frost the cake, Lily pressed her hand on the froster, as pink frosting splashed up in his face.
"What's going on?" James nearly yelled, as he slid passed the door on his black socks. He walked back to the entrance way to the kitchen. "Sirius? What the bleeding hell is going on in here?"
"Nothing," she told James, sliding her arms around his waist. "I was just talking with Sirius and then he made a mistake frosting the cake and got it all over his poor face."
"Talking?" James mouthed at Sirius.
Sirius nodded back, awkwardly.
"Brilliant! I was so terrified something would happen between the two of you tonight that I would regret, but it looks like you've become great friends. I can't even begin to explain how relieved I am - "
James continued to talk as Lily levitated the froster next to Sirius's hand, and mouthed to him, "Truce, yeah?"
Sirius nodded again, scowling at her, as frosting dripped off of his face and onto the kitchen floor.
* * * *
As the dinner finished up and Lily stood in the foyer yet again, grabbing her coat and shoes. She kissed the Potter good-bye, as James and Sirius walked her out towards where her parents had parked outside the house.
"Er, James, d'you mind if I just talk to Sirius for a moment before I say good-bye to you?" Lily asked, as they stood out in the cool December air.
"I s'pose."
"Look, Black," she tells him, looking Sirius in the eye with her piercing green ones, "I've got nothing against you, despite you whispering obscene things to me during dinner and attempting to convince me that I had a disease from James. I'm not trying to take your beloved best friend away from you, honestly. So why don't we just end this little feud here and just continue being close to James?"
"Fair enough," Sirius agreed. "But only because of James."
"Right, well then, I'd be a little more careful when frosting cakes, yeah?"
"Of course, and I'd be a little more careful when looking into your coat pocket, yeah?"
Lily scowled and Sirius watched as when she went to kiss James good-bye, she took the toad out of her pocket and passed it into James's trouser pocket.
As the two boys waved good-bye as Lily's parents pulled out of the driveway (with her bitter younger sister in the backseat, who had some sort of terrible frown on her face), James leapt up in the air, cursing: "How the fuck did a toad get into my pocket, Padfoot?"