Halloween gift for Inamac
Gift for: inamac
From: torino10154
Title: Jacked
Pairing: Vernon Dursley/an unsuspecting pumpkin
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Very clearly an unauthorized piece of fanfiction.
Warning: 'Sex' and 'Vernon' in the same 200 words? Actually, a bit of a wank.
Summary: Vernon gets a bit distracted while setting out to carve Dudley's jack-o'-lantern.
Notes: Thank you to F and D. Happy Halloween, inamac!
Vernon Dursley had never understood the appeal of carving a pumpkin for Halloween. Seemed like a horrible waste of time and money. However, his Dudley wanted a pumpkin and so a pumpkin he would have.
He found a big, fat pumpkin with a smooth face, perfect for carving.
Before it could be carved, it needed to be cleaned. Unwilling to upset Petunia and dirty her kitchen, Vernon took a knife--and a bottle of ale--to the shed.
Enjoying a quiet moment, Vernon drank his ale before addressing the problem of the seeds and stringy bits. He rolled up his sleeves before reaching into the sticky, wet pumpkin.
Sliding his hand into the pulp, he found he enjoyed the feel. Closing his eyes, he moved his hand round, coating it thoroughly with the thick, viscous matter.
Vernon was surprised to find himself hard--an unusual occurrence these days.
Knowing there would be no relief of any kind inside the house, Vernon shoved his trousers down, wrapped his slick hand around his prick and came in three strokes.
All over the pumpkin.
Dudley cried when told there would be no jack-o'-lantern after all but Vernon happily promised him one next Halloween.