Fic: Narcissa's Woes (Harry/Draco, R)
Title: Narcissa’s Woes
Author: lackofmendacity
Requestor: fourth_rose
Claim: Harry/Draco - coming out to Draco’s parents (extra love if Lucius, not Narcissa, is the supportive one!)
Rating: R
Warnings: Adult Language, Slash, Implied cross-dressing
Summary: Faced with the possibility of being set up with a girl, Draco resorts to half-truths and general shifty behaviour.
Word Count: 2,215
A/N: Thank you to the wonderful Shadowsamurai for beta’ring, and to fourth_rose for the cute prompt. *hugs*
One early Thursday morning, Draco Malfoy trudged sleepily downstairs to find his parents whispering furtively at one end of the dining room table.
“Pssst, psst, pssst,” Narcissa murmured hopefully, casting suspicious glares at the huge fruit bowl sitting in front of her.
“Mumble, mumble, mumble,” Lucius replied, nodding viciously in agreement.
“Umm…” Draco ventured hesitantly, reluctant to interrupt their intense discussion. “I hope you’re not talking dirty to each other.”
Both looked up in surprise, Lucius wearing an extremely shifty look while Narcissa blushed a deep pink.
“No, no, of course not,” Narcissa stammered quickly. “We were just, err…” She glanced at her husband for support, but Lucius merely scowled and stabbed viciously at his grapefruit.
“Honestly, Father, don’t take your sexual frustration out on the poor fruit,” Draco quipped blithely, ignoring Lucius’ evil glare and sitting down next to his mother. He leaned over to pluck a grape and popped it into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully.
“Speaking of sexual frustration...” Narcissa interjected before Lucius decided to throw something at Draco. “I think it’s time we set you up with a nice girl.”
“No, thank you,” two set of voices immediately chorused back at her, causing Narcissa to blink in surprise.
“I think she was talking to me,” Draco mused, and then blanched noticeably. “Umm… why?”
“Because your mother thinks you’re sexually frustrated,” Lucius explained dryly, earning him a smack from Narcissa.
“Draco,” she said patiently, “your father and I aren’t getting any younger. In fact, one might even call us, well, quite old, so-”
Lucius gave an outraged squawk and flailed his arms angrily about. “Me, old?! I’ll have you know I’m in my prime of youth, you utter twit of a-”
At his wife’s narrowed eyes, Lucius’ indignation falters, trembles and then scampers far, far away.
“Whipped,” Draco mouthed at Lucius, sniggering quietly.
“Betrothed,” his father smirked back.
“I can hear you both,” Narcissa pointed out, rolling her eyes slightly. “Draco, you need to find a wife soon. You’re not getting any younger either and I want grandchildren, dammit! Lucius, get your head out of the fruit bowl.”
“I was looking for strawberries,” Lucius pouted, poking his head out momentarily.
“Grandchildren?” Draco gulped, looking decidedly stricken.
“Grandchildren?” Lucius echoed sharply, sharing a worrying glance with his son.
Narcissa nodded and smiled happily. “A cute, tiny baby is just what this Manor needs,” she declared, gesturing at the vastness of Malfoy Manor.
“But they cry!” Lucius protested.
“And puke,” Draco added mournfully.
“You need someone to carry on the family name,” Narcissa pointed out sternly to her husband, secretly hoping that blood heritage would win her a bouncing baby, but Lucius only snorted with laughter.
“Any child of Draco’s would be shunned by society and spat on,” he declared bitterly. “I never want to see a Malfoy growing up facing such ridicule and shame.” Lucius’ voice had been growing in conviction as he spoke, and Narcissa felt like swooning at her husband’s passionate tone.
“And being a grandfather would make you feel old,” Draco added cheerfully.
“And being a grandfather would make me feel old!” Lucius suddenly lamented in agreement, burying his head in the fruit bowl again.
Narcissa sighed.
“Look,” Draco offered, “I should probably tell you that it, err, won’t be necessary to set me up with a girl.” At his parents’ puzzled expressions, Draco took on a decidedly shifty look, complete with twitch and darting eyes. Taking a deep breath, he proceeded to explain in clear and simple terms. “I… umm, perhaps-by-some-fortunate-circumstance-am-given-the-rate-of-probability-possibly-already-seeing-someone.”
Lucius favoured his son with a worried expression, but Narcissa beamed with joy. “That’s wonderful, darling!” she gushed, clapping her hands in delight. “We’ll arrange a formal introduction immediately, say dinner this Friday night? You can bring your little girlfriend, and we’ll ask the house elves to…”
Draco tuned out his mother’s excited ramblings, wondering instead how he was going to convince Potter to dress up as a girl.
~
Scarhead,
In regards to our conversation on the last day of school, I have decided that regardless of my own opinions, your feelings mean a lot to me. Hence, I have plucked up the courage to tell Mother and Father about our relationship, and they would like to meet you.
I expect your presence at Malfoy Manor tomorrow (in formal dress) at 5pm promptly.
D. M.
PS. Given the courage it took to ‘come out’ to my parents, I think you owe me quite a few sexual favours for the nerve-wracking experience.
PPS. I recall Granger’s gown at the Fourth Year Ball was quite charming. Why don’t you wear that if you’re lacking any other type of formal dress?
~
My beloved Prince of Slytherin,
How my heart quivered upon seeing your tawny owl wing through the sky, until he stupidly crashed into my window and broke the glass.
I opened your letter with trembling hands, pausing only to admire your elegant script and imagine your sneering pale face. After reading it (twice), I have only one question left to ask of you, Draco Malfoy…
What the hell are you on?!
I will not wear a dress, mainly because I have a cock thank you very much. (A cock which, I might add, you should be very acquainted with.)
But I’m so glad you told your parents. I hated having to keep our relationship a secret, and now that everyone knows, we don’t have to sneak around anymore.
I’ll be there tomorrow.
Harry
~
Harry Potter waited nervously outside the front door of Malfoy Manor, hoping his newly-purchased, formal robes and polished-till-they-were-sparkling shoes would give Draco’s parents a good impression. His hair, no man or beast could tame.
In his hands, Harry wielded a bouquet of narcissus (aptly chosen by Hermione) and a box of Honeydukes’ finest chocolate. (Arthur Weasley had pulled many strings at the Ministry to discover Lucius’ certain fondness for chocolate.) When nothing happened, Harry rang the doorbell again, this time rewarded by the sound of footsteps from inside the Manor.
Lucius Malfoy flung open the door, expecting a bouncy cheerleader type (complete with pom-poms, miniskirt and huge tits), instead coming face to face with the Man-Whom-He-Had-Pined-After-For-So-Many-Years. He let out an audible gasp.
“Hullo,” Harry said, smiling uncertainly at Lucius. For the eighteenth time, he wondered if this wasn’t some cunning plan to lure, kidnap and kill him in an attempt to make the Dark Lord rise (again). When Lucius reached out a hand to lightly stroke at his cheek, Harry began to hyperventilate.
“I’ve been waiting for you for so long,” Lucius murmured softly, gazing adoringly into Harry’s face. He grabbed the chocolate and flowers, tossing them carelessly to the ground, and pulled Harry into an embrace.
“Err…” Harry offered ineloquently, trying to move away from Lucius without appearing too rude (Lucius was his father-in-law after all, and Harry still wanted to make a good impression for Draco’s sake).
Backed up against a wall, with nowhere to go and Lucius leaning in closer still, Harry tried to twist his head in case Lucius felt like kissing him. Dispirited by the gesture, Lucius cheered himself up by licking Harry’s neck.
“Eep,” Harry whimpered, trying hard to remember Ron’s teachings about Pureblood tradition.
“If Lucius offers you alcohol, refuse it. Purebloods frown upon alcohol consumption, except for joyful occasions where they get completely and utterly wasted. If Narcissa offers you anything, accept it. She would have chosen the menu to predict your taste, so just go along with it.”
Harry had nodded, scribbling down notes vigorously. “What if Narcissa offers me alcohol?” he then asked, which had Ron stumped.
Harry struggled to recall if Ron had covered ‘what to do if your father-in-law attempts to neck you’ during those impromptu lessons, when an ear-piercing screech rang throughout the house.
“Father!” Draco yelled, pale face surprisingly pink. “What are you doing to my boyfriend?”
Lucius’ eyes narrowed menacingly and he wrapped a protective arm around Harry’s waist. “Your boyfriend?” he sneered. “When did you like boys?”
“Wait a minute,” Harry interrupted, turning to Lucius. “When did you like boys? Aren’t you married?”
“Oh, but I only married because I thought you were dead, my love.” Lucius smiled apologetically at Harry, who raised a confused eyebrow.
At that moment, Narcissa swept regally down the stairs and noticed her husband with an arm around Harry Potter’s waist.
“Mother!” Draco cried out in distress. “Father’s molesting Harry!”
“Really,” Narcissa reprimanded Lucius. “You’ve already proved to the Ministry that we support the Light. There’s hardly any reason to go around molesting the Boy-Who-Vanquished-Voldemort.”
“Harry?” Lucius asked in bewilderment. “As in Harry Potter?” He stared at Harry intently for a few moments, observing the subtle differences - the green eyes, that wretched scar. James’ skin wasn’t marred by the Dark Lord’s curse, and his eyes had always sparkled with a playful brown warmth. Lucius’ arm quickly dropped from Harry’s waist, to Draco’s relief, and he briskly strode to his wife’s side. “Indeed… very pleased to meet you, Mr Potter. Many thanks for defeating the Dark Lord and all that.”
“I am rather surprised to see you here,” Narcissa admitted, “but please step inside the Drawing Room. Dinner will be served at six.”
Shrugging, Harry followed Narcissa and Lucius out of the hallway, with Draco tagging along. He was surprisingly upbeat despite having Lucius just hit on him, but Harry’s good humour promptly disappeared when he saw the man sitting in the burgundy armchair.
“Mr Potter,” he sneered with a cruel, twisted smile. Long fingers traced the outline of his wine glass, causing a high-pitched whine to resonate throughout the room. If he wasn’t so blatantly anti-Muggle, Harry would have suspected him of trying to imitate the role of Evil Mastermind from children’s stories. All he needed was a white fluffy cat to stroke.
“Really, Severus. Must you make that dreadful noise?” Narcissa’s sharp admonishment rather destroyed the effect, and Severus Snape scowled at her.
“Why was Potter invited?” he demanded, pursing his lips in annoyance. “Doesn’t he have kittens to save, Dark Lords to defeat and whatnot?”
“He’s also here to meet Draco’s new girlfriend.” Narcissa smiled at Harry, whose eyes widened in surprise. “Speaking of which, she’s ten minutes late.”
“Umm,” Draco offered, shuffling his feet against the carpet. “She’s quite on time actually.”
Narcissa and Lucius looked at each other in confusion, but Severus soon began snickering. “He takes after you, Lucius,” he commented cryptically, then stood up to clasp Draco on the shoulder. “I’ll get some more wine. ‘Cissa’s going to need it.”
Draco coughed nervously, refusing to meet Harry’s accusing glare. “You told me you had told your parents.”
“I told them I was seeing someone,” Draco hissed back. “And they wanted to meet you. No one inquired as to your gender.”
“You told me you had ‘come out’ to your parents,” Harry growled, punctuating each word by taking a step closer to Draco.
“Come out of where?” Lucius piped up, secretly wondering if James was as hot as Harry when he was angry. Harry and Draco looked around shiftily, while Narcissa stared at the clock in a distracted manner.
“She’s still not here,” she sighed to Draco. “You know tardiness is quite a dreadful habit.”
Severus came back with two bottles of brandy, lovingly admiring the rich scent as he uncorked a bottle. Observing that both Narcissa and Lucius were still hopelessly in the dark, he decided to play the role of a loyal friend and gently tell them the truth. “Basically, your son is as gay as a flaming flamingo, and currently shagging Boy Wonder over there.” Severus cast a scornful look at Harry, and corrected himself. “Actually, Draco’s probably the one being shagged. Merlin knows Precious Potter would never let anything dangerous near his arse.”
Narcissa shrieked loudly and covered her mouth in shock before falling into the armchair, eyes closing in disbelief. Lucius strode to her side, pouring a glass of brandy and placing it into her trembling hands. “No grandchildren,” she murmured faintly, gulping down the whole glass. Lucius grinned and gave Draco the thumbs up, who absently returned the smile.
Unknown to anyone else, Draco was replaying Severus’ words in his head. “…Merlin knows Precious Potter would never let anything dangerous near his arse.”
Draco was quite pleased that his godfather thought of his cock as dangerous. In fact, it made him feel very Strong and Manly, in a disturbing sort of way.
Narcissa rose from the armchair, swayed slightly, and wandered out of the room, Severus following with undisguised amusement. Lucius smirked once more at his son and extended a grateful hand to Harry, who shook it cautiously. “Grandfather Lucius sounds extremely odd, don’t you think?” he remarked casually, raising a glass to Harry and Draco. “To gay sex, which doesn’t result in children!”
~
In the dining room, Narcissa was running her fingers fondly along the satin drapes, lost in thoughts of squealing children running through the Malfoy gardens, trampling all over her gardenias and hyacinths. At the quiet cough, she turned to see Severus’ pitying gaze.
“No grandchildren,” she repeated sadly, lips quivering with unspoken pain. Severus looked at her for a long time, and finally gave a slight sigh.
“You know,” he remarked casually, “there are Male Fertility Potions…”
~fin~
Author: lackofmendacity
Requestor: fourth_rose
Claim: Harry/Draco - coming out to Draco’s parents (extra love if Lucius, not Narcissa, is the supportive one!)
Rating: R
Warnings: Adult Language, Slash, Implied cross-dressing
Summary: Faced with the possibility of being set up with a girl, Draco resorts to half-truths and general shifty behaviour.
Word Count: 2,215
A/N: Thank you to the wonderful Shadowsamurai for beta’ring, and to fourth_rose for the cute prompt. *hugs*
One early Thursday morning, Draco Malfoy trudged sleepily downstairs to find his parents whispering furtively at one end of the dining room table.
“Pssst, psst, pssst,” Narcissa murmured hopefully, casting suspicious glares at the huge fruit bowl sitting in front of her.
“Mumble, mumble, mumble,” Lucius replied, nodding viciously in agreement.
“Umm…” Draco ventured hesitantly, reluctant to interrupt their intense discussion. “I hope you’re not talking dirty to each other.”
Both looked up in surprise, Lucius wearing an extremely shifty look while Narcissa blushed a deep pink.
“No, no, of course not,” Narcissa stammered quickly. “We were just, err…” She glanced at her husband for support, but Lucius merely scowled and stabbed viciously at his grapefruit.
“Honestly, Father, don’t take your sexual frustration out on the poor fruit,” Draco quipped blithely, ignoring Lucius’ evil glare and sitting down next to his mother. He leaned over to pluck a grape and popped it into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully.
“Speaking of sexual frustration...” Narcissa interjected before Lucius decided to throw something at Draco. “I think it’s time we set you up with a nice girl.”
“No, thank you,” two set of voices immediately chorused back at her, causing Narcissa to blink in surprise.
“I think she was talking to me,” Draco mused, and then blanched noticeably. “Umm… why?”
“Because your mother thinks you’re sexually frustrated,” Lucius explained dryly, earning him a smack from Narcissa.
“Draco,” she said patiently, “your father and I aren’t getting any younger. In fact, one might even call us, well, quite old, so-”
Lucius gave an outraged squawk and flailed his arms angrily about. “Me, old?! I’ll have you know I’m in my prime of youth, you utter twit of a-”
At his wife’s narrowed eyes, Lucius’ indignation falters, trembles and then scampers far, far away.
“Whipped,” Draco mouthed at Lucius, sniggering quietly.
“Betrothed,” his father smirked back.
“I can hear you both,” Narcissa pointed out, rolling her eyes slightly. “Draco, you need to find a wife soon. You’re not getting any younger either and I want grandchildren, dammit! Lucius, get your head out of the fruit bowl.”
“I was looking for strawberries,” Lucius pouted, poking his head out momentarily.
“Grandchildren?” Draco gulped, looking decidedly stricken.
“Grandchildren?” Lucius echoed sharply, sharing a worrying glance with his son.
Narcissa nodded and smiled happily. “A cute, tiny baby is just what this Manor needs,” she declared, gesturing at the vastness of Malfoy Manor.
“But they cry!” Lucius protested.
“And puke,” Draco added mournfully.
“You need someone to carry on the family name,” Narcissa pointed out sternly to her husband, secretly hoping that blood heritage would win her a bouncing baby, but Lucius only snorted with laughter.
“Any child of Draco’s would be shunned by society and spat on,” he declared bitterly. “I never want to see a Malfoy growing up facing such ridicule and shame.” Lucius’ voice had been growing in conviction as he spoke, and Narcissa felt like swooning at her husband’s passionate tone.
“And being a grandfather would make you feel old,” Draco added cheerfully.
“And being a grandfather would make me feel old!” Lucius suddenly lamented in agreement, burying his head in the fruit bowl again.
Narcissa sighed.
“Look,” Draco offered, “I should probably tell you that it, err, won’t be necessary to set me up with a girl.” At his parents’ puzzled expressions, Draco took on a decidedly shifty look, complete with twitch and darting eyes. Taking a deep breath, he proceeded to explain in clear and simple terms. “I… umm, perhaps-by-some-fortunate-circumstance-am-given-the-rate-of-probability-possibly-already-seeing-someone.”
Lucius favoured his son with a worried expression, but Narcissa beamed with joy. “That’s wonderful, darling!” she gushed, clapping her hands in delight. “We’ll arrange a formal introduction immediately, say dinner this Friday night? You can bring your little girlfriend, and we’ll ask the house elves to…”
Draco tuned out his mother’s excited ramblings, wondering instead how he was going to convince Potter to dress up as a girl.
~
Scarhead,
In regards to our conversation on the last day of school, I have decided that regardless of my own opinions, your feelings mean a lot to me. Hence, I have plucked up the courage to tell Mother and Father about our relationship, and they would like to meet you.
I expect your presence at Malfoy Manor tomorrow (in formal dress) at 5pm promptly.
D. M.
PS. Given the courage it took to ‘come out’ to my parents, I think you owe me quite a few sexual favours for the nerve-wracking experience.
PPS. I recall Granger’s gown at the Fourth Year Ball was quite charming. Why don’t you wear that if you’re lacking any other type of formal dress?
~
My beloved Prince of Slytherin,
How my heart quivered upon seeing your tawny owl wing through the sky, until he stupidly crashed into my window and broke the glass.
I opened your letter with trembling hands, pausing only to admire your elegant script and imagine your sneering pale face. After reading it (twice), I have only one question left to ask of you, Draco Malfoy…
What the hell are you on?!
I will not wear a dress, mainly because I have a cock thank you very much. (A cock which, I might add, you should be very acquainted with.)
But I’m so glad you told your parents. I hated having to keep our relationship a secret, and now that everyone knows, we don’t have to sneak around anymore.
I’ll be there tomorrow.
Harry
~
Harry Potter waited nervously outside the front door of Malfoy Manor, hoping his newly-purchased, formal robes and polished-till-they-were-sparkling shoes would give Draco’s parents a good impression. His hair, no man or beast could tame.
In his hands, Harry wielded a bouquet of narcissus (aptly chosen by Hermione) and a box of Honeydukes’ finest chocolate. (Arthur Weasley had pulled many strings at the Ministry to discover Lucius’ certain fondness for chocolate.) When nothing happened, Harry rang the doorbell again, this time rewarded by the sound of footsteps from inside the Manor.
Lucius Malfoy flung open the door, expecting a bouncy cheerleader type (complete with pom-poms, miniskirt and huge tits), instead coming face to face with the Man-Whom-He-Had-Pined-After-For-So-Many-Years. He let out an audible gasp.
“Hullo,” Harry said, smiling uncertainly at Lucius. For the eighteenth time, he wondered if this wasn’t some cunning plan to lure, kidnap and kill him in an attempt to make the Dark Lord rise (again). When Lucius reached out a hand to lightly stroke at his cheek, Harry began to hyperventilate.
“I’ve been waiting for you for so long,” Lucius murmured softly, gazing adoringly into Harry’s face. He grabbed the chocolate and flowers, tossing them carelessly to the ground, and pulled Harry into an embrace.
“Err…” Harry offered ineloquently, trying to move away from Lucius without appearing too rude (Lucius was his father-in-law after all, and Harry still wanted to make a good impression for Draco’s sake).
Backed up against a wall, with nowhere to go and Lucius leaning in closer still, Harry tried to twist his head in case Lucius felt like kissing him. Dispirited by the gesture, Lucius cheered himself up by licking Harry’s neck.
“Eep,” Harry whimpered, trying hard to remember Ron’s teachings about Pureblood tradition.
“If Lucius offers you alcohol, refuse it. Purebloods frown upon alcohol consumption, except for joyful occasions where they get completely and utterly wasted. If Narcissa offers you anything, accept it. She would have chosen the menu to predict your taste, so just go along with it.”
Harry had nodded, scribbling down notes vigorously. “What if Narcissa offers me alcohol?” he then asked, which had Ron stumped.
Harry struggled to recall if Ron had covered ‘what to do if your father-in-law attempts to neck you’ during those impromptu lessons, when an ear-piercing screech rang throughout the house.
“Father!” Draco yelled, pale face surprisingly pink. “What are you doing to my boyfriend?”
Lucius’ eyes narrowed menacingly and he wrapped a protective arm around Harry’s waist. “Your boyfriend?” he sneered. “When did you like boys?”
“Wait a minute,” Harry interrupted, turning to Lucius. “When did you like boys? Aren’t you married?”
“Oh, but I only married because I thought you were dead, my love.” Lucius smiled apologetically at Harry, who raised a confused eyebrow.
At that moment, Narcissa swept regally down the stairs and noticed her husband with an arm around Harry Potter’s waist.
“Mother!” Draco cried out in distress. “Father’s molesting Harry!”
“Really,” Narcissa reprimanded Lucius. “You’ve already proved to the Ministry that we support the Light. There’s hardly any reason to go around molesting the Boy-Who-Vanquished-Voldemort.”
“Harry?” Lucius asked in bewilderment. “As in Harry Potter?” He stared at Harry intently for a few moments, observing the subtle differences - the green eyes, that wretched scar. James’ skin wasn’t marred by the Dark Lord’s curse, and his eyes had always sparkled with a playful brown warmth. Lucius’ arm quickly dropped from Harry’s waist, to Draco’s relief, and he briskly strode to his wife’s side. “Indeed… very pleased to meet you, Mr Potter. Many thanks for defeating the Dark Lord and all that.”
“I am rather surprised to see you here,” Narcissa admitted, “but please step inside the Drawing Room. Dinner will be served at six.”
Shrugging, Harry followed Narcissa and Lucius out of the hallway, with Draco tagging along. He was surprisingly upbeat despite having Lucius just hit on him, but Harry’s good humour promptly disappeared when he saw the man sitting in the burgundy armchair.
“Mr Potter,” he sneered with a cruel, twisted smile. Long fingers traced the outline of his wine glass, causing a high-pitched whine to resonate throughout the room. If he wasn’t so blatantly anti-Muggle, Harry would have suspected him of trying to imitate the role of Evil Mastermind from children’s stories. All he needed was a white fluffy cat to stroke.
“Really, Severus. Must you make that dreadful noise?” Narcissa’s sharp admonishment rather destroyed the effect, and Severus Snape scowled at her.
“Why was Potter invited?” he demanded, pursing his lips in annoyance. “Doesn’t he have kittens to save, Dark Lords to defeat and whatnot?”
“He’s also here to meet Draco’s new girlfriend.” Narcissa smiled at Harry, whose eyes widened in surprise. “Speaking of which, she’s ten minutes late.”
“Umm,” Draco offered, shuffling his feet against the carpet. “She’s quite on time actually.”
Narcissa and Lucius looked at each other in confusion, but Severus soon began snickering. “He takes after you, Lucius,” he commented cryptically, then stood up to clasp Draco on the shoulder. “I’ll get some more wine. ‘Cissa’s going to need it.”
Draco coughed nervously, refusing to meet Harry’s accusing glare. “You told me you had told your parents.”
“I told them I was seeing someone,” Draco hissed back. “And they wanted to meet you. No one inquired as to your gender.”
“You told me you had ‘come out’ to your parents,” Harry growled, punctuating each word by taking a step closer to Draco.
“Come out of where?” Lucius piped up, secretly wondering if James was as hot as Harry when he was angry. Harry and Draco looked around shiftily, while Narcissa stared at the clock in a distracted manner.
“She’s still not here,” she sighed to Draco. “You know tardiness is quite a dreadful habit.”
Severus came back with two bottles of brandy, lovingly admiring the rich scent as he uncorked a bottle. Observing that both Narcissa and Lucius were still hopelessly in the dark, he decided to play the role of a loyal friend and gently tell them the truth. “Basically, your son is as gay as a flaming flamingo, and currently shagging Boy Wonder over there.” Severus cast a scornful look at Harry, and corrected himself. “Actually, Draco’s probably the one being shagged. Merlin knows Precious Potter would never let anything dangerous near his arse.”
Narcissa shrieked loudly and covered her mouth in shock before falling into the armchair, eyes closing in disbelief. Lucius strode to her side, pouring a glass of brandy and placing it into her trembling hands. “No grandchildren,” she murmured faintly, gulping down the whole glass. Lucius grinned and gave Draco the thumbs up, who absently returned the smile.
Unknown to anyone else, Draco was replaying Severus’ words in his head. “…Merlin knows Precious Potter would never let anything dangerous near his arse.”
Draco was quite pleased that his godfather thought of his cock as dangerous. In fact, it made him feel very Strong and Manly, in a disturbing sort of way.
Narcissa rose from the armchair, swayed slightly, and wandered out of the room, Severus following with undisguised amusement. Lucius smirked once more at his son and extended a grateful hand to Harry, who shook it cautiously. “Grandfather Lucius sounds extremely odd, don’t you think?” he remarked casually, raising a glass to Harry and Draco. “To gay sex, which doesn’t result in children!”
~
In the dining room, Narcissa was running her fingers fondly along the satin drapes, lost in thoughts of squealing children running through the Malfoy gardens, trampling all over her gardenias and hyacinths. At the quiet cough, she turned to see Severus’ pitying gaze.
“No grandchildren,” she repeated sadly, lips quivering with unspoken pain. Severus looked at her for a long time, and finally gave a slight sigh.
“You know,” he remarked casually, “there are Male Fertility Potions…”
~fin~