hearts and claws
►recipient: glassfromscars
►title: hearts and claws
►pairing: girl!sehun/yixing
rating: pg-13
►word count: 8.8k
►warnings: werewolf girl!Sehun and brief, graphic transformation
►summary: Being a teenage girl was hard. Being a werewolf was even harder. But nothing beat being a teenage werewolf with a crush on the cute boy from the library.
Sehun slipped into the transfiguration classroom five minutes after the beginning of class, but Professor McGonagall only gave her a quick nod - well aware of the reason for her tardiness - before she continued with her lesson. She could feel the entire class’ eyes on her as she let herself sink into her usual seat. The Ravenclaw boy next to her - Sehun thought his name was Do Kyungsoo - gave her a wide-eyed stare, before he wrenched his gaze away and all but plastered himself to the seat neighbor on his other side. Sehun didn’t even bother with feeling hurt anymore - at least not very hurt.
In the two months since she had transferred here from Durmstrang, just in time for the beginning of the new school year, Do Kyungsoo hadn’t spoken a single word to her - except for apologizing profoundly after bumping her elbow with his that one time during their first lesson. The smell of his fear had thickened the air around them like fog, so strong, she had almost been able to taste it on her tongue. Needless to say, she hadn’t tried starting a conversation with him after that.
But Sehun was used to it. Really.
“The Heads of the Houses should probably do a head count of all the freshman and make sure all of them are accounted for. Maybe lunch wasn’t enough for her and she got herself a little freshman-snack as dessert. Who knows why she’s this late…”
The words were whispered from two rows behind Sehun, accompanied by hushed giggles and clearly meant to stay unheard, but her heightened senses were picking up on them almost effortlessly. And despite the pep-talk she had just given herself, Sehun felt her stomach lurch lightly at the unfairness of it all. She didn’t eat people. As a matter of fact she wasn’t that different from those giggling girls still talking about her, with the exception of turning into a furry beast whenever full moon came around, of course. But with the help of the daily dose of Wolfsbane potion she had just gotten from Professor Slughorn, that wasn’t that much of a problem any longer as well.
“I can’t believe Headmaster McGonagall allowed a werewolf on school grounds. That girl belongs in a zoo, not the best wizarding school in the world.”
It was something Sehun had heard countless times before. She was well aware of the amount of outraged parents Professor McGonagall had to deal with on a daily basis, had actually gotten her fair share of threatening and warning Howlers in her first week at Hogwarts, before her teachers had started to monitor the mail addressed to her. Not to mention the fact that she’d had to deal with these kinds of prejudices and hateful reactions since that fateful day she had been bitten by a werewolf at the age of seven. But that didn’t mean it was any less hurtful or annoying.
“I mean… she’s a monster.”
And even though she knew that it would probably just make it worse, might just prove those two bitches right, enough was enough. A growl barely trapped in the back of her throat, Sehun wheeled around in her seat and narrowed her eyes at the two girls with a seething glare. From the corner of her eye she saw Kyungsoo flinching away from her, felt almost tempted to sigh with resignation, but knew it couldn’t be helped. The two Gryffindor’s at the receiving end of her glower looked similarly terrified, shrinking into themselves in their seats, and even though Sehun knew that she would regret doing this, the momentary satisfaction outweighed her common sense quite clearly at the moment.
“Ms. Oh, is there a problem?”
Professor McGonagall’s sharp voice cut through the silence in the classroom and Sehun immediately turned around from where she had been glaring at the two girls behind her. She owed the headmaster so much for letting her attend Hogwarts, despite her… questionable condition, and disrupting her lesson definitely wasn’t how she wanted to repay her.
“No, Professor McGonagall. I’m sorry.”
Burying her nose in her open transfiguration textbook, Sehun pretended she didn’t hear the shocked and morbidly excited whispers, or the distinct smell of fear from her trembling seat neighbor.
With her classes over for the day, Sehun headed straight for the library as she usually did. She rarely spent any time in the Slytherin common room or the room she shared with the other sixth years. The dungeons had never been the coziest or most inviting place, but with winter just around the corner it was downright uncomfortable down there. Even with the fire burning in the fireplace around the clock. Sehun had never dealt well with being cold and just the thought of all the stories she had heard about the Gryffindor’s warm and homely common room had her shriveling with longing and envy. Curling up on one of those cushy couches with a book sounded like heaven to her right now.
But that wasn’t the only reason for her avoidance of the Slytherin dungeon. She also didn’t particularly enjoy the constant stares or frightful whispers whenever she was around. In the library Sehun could at least hide in a secluded corner and focus on her schoolwork - not the whispers of “How long until the next full moon?” or “Do you think she’ll attack someone today?”. She would rather spend the rest of her day holed up and lonely in the library than deal with any of that.
Sehun kept her gaze fixed stubbornly ahead, blocking out the way the other students in the third floor hallway parted for her like the Red Sea, and within minutes she turned in at the corridor leading up to the doors of the library. She felt the back of her neck prickle uncomfortably under the heavy stare of the people behind her, but forced herself not to speed up, to just keep on walking. Sehun hated it. She didn’t want all this attention, all that fear and biased hate directed at her, but she definitely wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of seeing her run from them, just because she didn’t deal well with being the focus of everyone’s attention. Not now, not ever. She had dealt with this for most of her life and she was going to have to deal with this reality for the rest of it. It was just another day like any other.
Or so Sehun thought, until she reached out for the heavy door of the library, just to have it pushed open in her direction from the inside. Taking a careful step back, she watched an almost obnoxiously blond boy squeeze through the gap and prepared herself for what was about to happen. It took the Gryffindor - judging by the colors of his tie - another step until he noticed her standing so close, but when he did he went rigid right in front of her. Sehun wasn’t the least bit surprised when his eyes went wide with a familiar kind of panic, but it was what happened next that had her doing a real double take.
Instead of bolting or shrinking in on himself, the taller boy took a clearly bracing breath, stuck out his chest and pushed open the door all the way until he was holding it open for her. For several seconds Sehun just stood there and stared, too stunned to process what was actually going on. She couldn’t even remember the last time someone had held a door open for her like that. Sehun witnessed small courtesies like this one all the time, but it had been ages since she had been on the receiving end of one. Things like this always happened to other girls, other people, not the scary ‘werewolf girl’. But there the boy was, still smiling at her and waiting for her to step through the door. And even though the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, forced to the point of actually looking painful, it was still the first time someone other than a teacher had smiled at her since she arrived at Hogwarts.
Swallowing down the sudden lump in her throat, Sehun gave the boy a small nod and pressed out a quick “thank you”, before she forced her feet to move and walked through the door he was still holding open for her. Her thanks came out a lot less cordial than planned, shock and shyness adding an unintended edge to her voice, and with an internal wince she watched form the corner of her eye as the blond guy flinched at her tone. A second later the door fell shut behind her with a quiet whoosh and Sehun was blanketed in the familiar not-quite-silence of the library.
Great job, dumbass. The first time someone actually does something nice for you and you scare him away.
Sehun was too focused on cursing her own awkwardness to notice that something was different, but one look around the room several moments later and she felt the corners of her mouth pull down in displeased frown.
So many people.
Apparently Sehun’s teachers weren’t the only ones that had started increasing their students’ work loads. For the first time since the start of the school year the library was packed with people, so busy with their studies and looking for the right books, they didn’t even notice her entry. It was an entirely novel feeling and for a second the girl wasn’t quite sure how to proceed from there. Sehun was so used to having all eyes on her the moment she entered a room, she actually froze in her spot three steps into the library, body tense as if it was waiting for something.
A tour of the library left her with the discouraging realization that all the tables in the room were occupied. There were plenty of free chairs, but no empty tables, and the thought of having to share her space with someone else again, left her distinctively unsettled. Late afternoons and evenings were supposed to be her time to get away from the frightened stares and constant surveillance, but even her favorite spot in the farthest corner of the library had been taken. The two Slytherin girls had seen Sehun approach and immediately put their bags on the empty chairs next to them, before they had averted their eyes and continued their hushed conversation with more fervor than before, as if pretending she wasn’t there would make her go away. And it had worked. For all her bravado, Sehun would never be daring enough to sit down at a table where she was so clearly unwanted. Classes and mealtimes in the Great Hall were different, she didn’t really have any other choice then, but now Sehun found herself circling back towards the entrance. Maybe she’d be in luck and the room she shared with the other Slytherin sixth years would be empty for once. And if not… well, they would just have to deal.
She was just passing the Reference Section, head held high with a confidence she wasn’t actually feeling, when she spied the almost empty table under one of the high windows to her right. Three of the four chairs were empty, the last one occupied by a dark-haired boy, seemingly asleep with his head pillowed on the pages of the open book in front of him. Sehun wasn’t quite sure what made her pause, what had her approaching slowly and sitting down opposite the dozing boy. But soon she was pulling her parchment and Transfiguration book out of her bag with the utmost care, trying not to make any noise and wake the boy and she figured it was probably the best she could do at the moment. At least he wouldn’t be bothered by her presence and she could work in peace without having someone stare at her from across the table the entire time. Sehun felt almost sorry for the guy, he’d probably get the shock of his life once he woke up and found himself sharing a table with a werewolf, but with a bit of luck Sehun would have already left for dinner before that happened.
She was about halfway through her essay on the dangers and common mistakes of human transfiguration, when she ran out of luck. Sehun had been too focused on her work to notice the little sounds the student in front of her was making - little sighs, the rustle of his cloak as he shifted in his seat and finally sat up straight - but the movement at the edges of her vision had the Slytherin freezing in her seat. For a few defiant seconds she considered ignoring him, but her damned curiosity got to her faster than expected and within a few moments she was slowly raising her head. The unexpected eye contact almost had her startling back, but her pride more than anything else, made her hold her position.
The boy’s hair was pressed flat on one side of his head, but standing up wildly on the other, the crease in his cheek looked as if he had slept with the edge of his book pressing into his skin, and even though the sight had a peculiar tingle igniting in her chest it were his eyes that eventually captured Sehun’s entire attention. They were dark, the deepest of browns, and hazed with the residues of sleep, but the look in them was almost curious as he continued to blink up at her out of bleary, barely opened eyes.
Sehun waited with bated breath for the realization to set in, but all she got was a mumbled “What time is it?” and she got caught so unaware by the unperturbed question, she found herself answering without a single hesitation.
“Almost four thirty.”
“Thanks.”
And then the most amazing thing happened. The Hufflepuff smiled at her. It was fleeting - a simple crinkling of his eyes and flash of utterly distracting dimples - but so endearing, Sehun actually jumped in her seat at his sudden change of expressions and jarringly loud words.
“Crap, I’m so late!”
He was gone in a flurry of movement - books packed away, bag thrown over his shoulder and cloak billowing out behind him - as he threw her a breathless “See you!”, badly disguised as a whisper, and bolted towards the exit. Sehun only realized she had actually turned around in her seat to watch his departure, when she felt her insides clamp down with irrational disappointment as she watched him stop for a few seconds to talk to a girl at the end of the aisle, the same smile he had given Sehun firmly in place.
Scolding herself for being stupid, Sehun forced herself to focus on her homework again, only to be interrupted a few seconds later by someone sitting down at her table. Head snapping up she met the gaze of none other than the girl she had just spied with the dark-haired boy.
Sehun had always thought of herself as reasonably pretty, maybe just a little bit too long, but she felt like an actual troll sitting across from the gorgeous Gryffindor. Her honey blond hair was cascading over her shoulders in shiny waves, face dominated by big blue eyes, a cute pixie nose and pink lips that were neither too full or too thin and for the first time in her life Sehun thought she might actually be sitting across from perfection. It was only when the Gryffindor girl raised an inquiring eyebrow at her that she realized she might have been staring a bit too obviously.
“Problem?”
The girl’s voice was melodic and pitched appropriately low for their surroundings, but there wasn’t even a hint of hesitation or fear in her challenging tone and for once it was Sehun shrinking back, thoroughly intimidated.
“N-no. No problem.”
A curt nod was all she got in return, before the other girl started rummaging in her bag and Sehun forced herself to return her attention to her own work. But all hope of focusing on it was lost as she found herself pondering the fact that she had encountered not just one, but actually two people that had seen nothing wrong in sharing a table with a werewolf.
It was quite the mind-boggling realization.
October’s full moon passed like her first one in Hogwarts had. She was picked up by the headmistress at the end of her afternoon classes and led to the simple chamber on the second floor. She spent her night safely locked inside and even though it had her feeling like a trapped animal, it also made her feel safe in a way she never had before. She didn’t have to worry about hurting anyone that way, because despite the fact that she had taken Professor Slughorn’s Wolfsbane potion religiously in the days leading up to the full moon, there was always a chance of something going wrong. Locked inside that chamber by key and spell alike, she was safe. And the student body of Hogwarts was safe from her.
She gladly endured the indignity of being locked away once a month if it meant she could attend school like a normal teenager - or as normal as a werewolf girl could hope to be.
“It’s you again.”
Head snapping up from the book in front of her so fast Sehun swore she could feel something crack, she discovered the same boy she had met before the last full moon looking at her from across the table. He had his chin propped up on one arm, the corner of his mouth pulled up in a secretive half smile and the same curiosity glinting in his eyes as the last time they had shared a table in the library. Sehun had a feeling she would have probably gotten caught up a lot more on that expression, if it weren’t for the hot slide of embarrassment and giddy excitement in her stomach. She had been so sure he’d been asleep, but once again she found herself with the way too confusing Hufflepuff looking at her and no idea how to react. Fingers tightening on the cover of her book, she forced herself to give a reply through suddenly numb lips.
“Yeah… it’s me.”
She had never claimed to be a sparkling conversationalist.
Sehun saw something flash in those brown eyes that looked suspiciously much like amusement and then he did it again. He smiled at her.
The Slytherin would have liked to say that her first reaction was bewilderment, after all a total stranger was sitting there and smiling at her with the sweetest expression imaginable, but instead she felt her heart slam up in her throat with a barely contained squeak of surprise. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had looked at her like that - maybe because it had never happened before - and with one utterly disarming smile the boy rendered all of her usual responses to people completely useless.
“I’m not stalking you, I swear.” She barely noticed him raising his eyebrows in confusion, rambling on just to keep herself from staring at him in tongue-tied astonishment. “It’s just… I really thought you were asleep and there aren’t any empty tables. You seemed okay with me sitting down with you last time, so I thought it would be okay this time as well. I-”
“I never said it wasn’t.” The unexpected words were enough to put a stop to her frantic babbling, her next breath faltering in her throat in surprise. “I’ve been curious about you, to be honest, so I’m glad we’re getting the chance to talk.”
He was smiling as he talked, gaze never straying from her face, and Sehun knew without a doubt that he was the single most confusing person she had ever come across.
“I don’t actually talk to people.”
It was a knee-jerk response - undoubtedly true, but knee-jerk nevertheless - and it had his brows pulling together in a small frown. Only then did she realize that her words could have been taken as a rejection.
“Why?”
“I just… don’t.”
The way his shoulders slumped at her reply shouldn’t make her feel as if she had just kicked a puppy, but it did. Just one more addition to a long list of emotions she wasn’t used to feeling and somehow the dark-haired boy had managed to bring out more than half of them already.
“Alright. I’m sure you have your reasons. I could probably go back to sleep if you want me to?”
He looked so earnest and sincere, Sehun actually felt her stomach flutter nervously. It had been so long since her last conversation with a guy that wasn’t her father, brother or a teacher and she really didn’t want to mention the werewolf thing in fear of scaring him away. But he was so calm about the entire situation, the urge to explain became virtually overpowering. In the end she just gave up on fighting it. “It’s just that me sitting down at someone’s table usually puts them in a total panic. Conversations aren’t exactly an option, you know?”
“Panic? Why?”
The Hufflepuff looked so confused, blinking at her with his head tilted to the side, dark, soft-looking hair falling over his brow and Sehun felt something give a little jump in her chest that definitely wasn’t anxiousness.
“Because of the werewolf thing.”
Another slow blink of those sleepy eyes and Sehun didn’t even notice her fingers curling into the fabric of her skirt, an instinctive attempt to stifle the sudden urge to reach out and brush that messy fringe out of the boy’s face.
“Werewolf thing?”
Disbelieve settled in as Sehun wondered if he could actually be that slow.
“Yes, the fact that I’m a werewolf tends to terrify people for some reason.”
Sehun wasn’t quite able to keep the dry bitterness out of her voice, but then she noticed the look on the boy’s face and all thoughts of people’s reactions to her werewolf-status simply fled her mind. Sleepy confusion turned into stunned shock, his eyes going wide and lips parting without a sound leaving his mouth and that was when she realized he hadn’t known.
“Oh.”
It was a breathless sound, filled with stunned realization, but for the life of her Sehun couldn’t interpret its meaning. Was he going to flinch away from her like everyone else? Look at her and see nothing but the monster that hid inside of her? She told herself it wouldn’t matter. What was one more person avoiding her in the grand scheme of things? But deep down Sehun knew that she was just fooling herself.
“I can leave if you want me to.”
Some part of her knew that it would savage the tentative glimmer of hope that had sparked inside of her the day she had sat down opposite the sleeping boy, but she forced herself not to let it show. She couldn’t let them know how hurt she truly was, how desperately she longed for a friend.
“Do you want to leave?”
The unexpected question gave her a brief pause, but the defiant core of her pride didn’t give her the time to ponder it.
“I don’t want you to force yourself if you’re scared and disgusted. I’m not gonna hold a grudge just because you don’t want to sit on the same table as the werewolf girl.”
“Why would I be disgusted? And I don’t think I’m scared either.”
“But… I’m a werewolf.”
“Yes, you mentioned that.”
Now it was Yixing turn to look at her as if she was being stupid. He looked almost exasperated, tone dry as dust and for some reason Sehun felt her lips twitching with the first hint of a real smile. She was so startled by the unfamiliar movement of her lips, it took her a moment to gather her thoughts.
“Aren’t you afraid I’ll attack and bite you?”
“Why? Do you want to bite me?”
The very breathless “yes” on the tip of her tongue almost slipped over her lips, but Sehun caught herself at the last second. It wasn’t the werewolf side of her doing the talking, instead it was that utterly feminine core of her that looked at that full lower lip and saw something deliciously biteable. Still, she didn’t think it was the time for confessions like that - not to mention the fact that she would never actually gather the courage to admit to those embarrassing thoughts - so all she replied was “We don’t feel the urge to bite people, unless it’s a full moon. Werewolves are like everyone else most of the time, so no, I definitely don’t want to attack or bite you.”
At least not the way you were asking about.
“Then I’m definitely not afraid.”
With that he gave her another of those disarmingly dimpled smiles, obviously done with that part of their conversation, and peeked down at the open book in front of him, as if he was trying to remember what he had been working on before Sehun’s appearance.
It was as she watched him stare at his things, deep in thought and absentmindedly playing with the feathery part of his quill, that she realized the only thing more puzzling than the boy itself was her completely unexpected reaction to him.
If this was what a crush felt like, then she really had no idea what to do with it.
Zhang Yixing. His name was Zhang Yixing and apart from taking naps in the library and smiling at total strangers, he apparently loved sweets, Quidditch and all types of magical creatures.
“My dad is an independent researcher who sometimes works for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. He’s been telling me the most amazing stories ever since I was a young kid and I guess it was pretty clear from the beginning that I was just as interested in the topic as him,” Yixing recounted after they left the library behind them in favor of dinner in the Great Hall, eyes gleaming with excitement and arms cutting through air as he gesticulated enthusiastically. He looked so animated, so completely immersed, Sehun found herself entirely focused on him, without a hint of attention for their surroundings.
“Does that mean you want to follow in his footsteps once you graduate? Become a researcher as well?”
“I’m not sure. He’s away from home a lot and I think I’d like to work with these creatures, rather than just learning more about them, but I haven’t decided yet. Maybe I’ll just ask Hagrid if he could use an assistant.”
The image of Yixing walking the grounds with Hagrid, looking tiny and ridiculous in a matching fur coat had Sehun snorting out a startled laugh and for once she was simply too amused to feel self-conscious about the emotional outbreak.
“What?”
Yixing’s smile was even apparent in his voice and Sehun found herself attempting a halfway comprehensible answer without hesitation.
“It’s just… you… Hagrid… fur coats… uniform.”
It was utterly hopeless, she just couldn’t stop laughing long enough to get out more than a few wheezing words, but the Hufflepuff seemed to understand.
“So you don’t think I could pull it off? I think I’d look rather dashing in furs.”
The mock-offended tone was ruined by the barely contained laughter in his voice and one look at his face set off another round of giggles that had Sehun clutching her stomach at the rising ache in her muscles.
“You should really laugh more often. It makes you look even prettier.”
The words cut off her laughter, had heat shooting into Sehun’s cheeks and her heart jumping frantically in her chest. For once she was actually grateful for someone calling out Yixing’s name from behind them and saving her from having to come up with a coherent reply.
Walking towards them, stride purposeful as if she didn’t have any time to waste, was the beautiful Gryffindor girl that had sat down so nonchalantly at Sehun’s table the other day. Her gaze moved from Yixing to Sehun and back and by the time she joined them in front of the Great Hall, the look on her face wasn’t just knowing, but also obviously intrigued.
“Can’t say I’m surprised to see you of all people walking around with the werewolf girl.”
The way she said it, with no hint of disdain or accusation in her tone, had the sudden tension in Sehun’s shoulders slowly draining away, but it was the little, almost conspiratorial wink she sent Sehun that unraveled the persistent knot of apprehension in her chest.
“That’s because you’ve known me since I was three years old and helped me hunt for dragons in our backyards.”
There was an almost brotherly affection in Yixing’s voice and the endearing images flashing up in her mind, had her a second away from missing his following introduction.
“Sehun, meet Luhan, she’s a seventh year like me and we’ve known each other forever. Luhan, this is my new friend Sehun. She’s a very friendly and sweet werewolf.”
Chest alive with the most volatile mix of nervousness, embarrassment and amusement, Sehun had no idea what to focus on. A part of her was very hung up on Yixing introducing her his friend. No one had ever called her that and she actually had to stifle the urge to pinch herself to make sure she hadn’t just fallen asleep in the library and was having the most vivid and most confusing dream imaginable. Another part of her though, was thoroughly tempted to pinch Yixing instead. She definitely hadn’t missed the teasing tone in his voice during that last part of his introduction.
“Hey, Sehun. It’s nice to meet you. I’ve actually heard a lot about you already… and I’m pretty sure most of it is complete bullshit.”
The quite inventive introduction and wry smile on Luhan’s face made Sehun like her immediately.
“Very likely.”
Sehun’s deadpan answer had both seventh years huffing out a little laugh and even though it still felt unfamiliar and strange, Sehun couldn’t help but join in with a smile of her own.
She didn’t like to admit it, but she was more than just a little disappointed to see Yixing leave just a few minutes later, after he was called over by his obviously impatient group of friends. Saying their good-byes Sehun watched his retreating back with an unnervingly fluttery chest and asked herself what in the world she had just gotten herself into.
“Can I say something?”
Surprised to find Luhan still standing next to her, Sehun felt her defense coming up as the words registered. And judging by the little twitch of Luhan’s mouth, the older girl hadn’t missed it.
“Yixing is a sweetheart. He can be a bit slow and he’s definitely too nice for his own good. I would have snatched him up myself if I weren’t head over heels in love with my boyfriend, so let me give you a little piece of advice. Better make sure no one steals him away from under your nose.”
Before Sehun had time to progress that little speech, Luhan was gone with a last cheeky grin and wink to join her friends and Sehun made her way over to the Slytherin table with her chin tucked towards her collarbones to hide the flaming globes of her cheeks. Sehun’s face felt hot for the entire duration of dinner, both at the memory of Yixing’s compliment and the fact that Luhan had seen through her almost effortlessly.
For the first time since her arrival in Hogwarts she was too distracted to pay attention to the way people were still staring at her.
Becoming friends with someone wasn’t something Sehun had any experience in, but this seemed almost too easy. It seemed as if Yixing had simply decided to take her under his wing and from one moment to the other things just completely changed for her. Instead of keeping her head fixed straight ahead while walking down the corridors, she let her gaze roam over the crowds of students, just in case he was there to give her one of his cheerful waves as they passes each other on their respective ways to class. Instead of holing up in the farthest corner of the library she now had a permanent seat at Yixing’s table, where he went from asking her every possible question about her lycanthropy to telling her random stories about… well, anything. Zhang Yixing, Sehun realized very quickly, was an endless source of funny, ridiculous or shocking information and she simply loved watching him talk. He spoke with his entire body - eyes glowing, lips tugging up or down, arms gesticulating animatedly - and the wary part of her, the part that had only been met with hate and fear from other people in her life, was afraid of how dependent she was becoming on the attention he was showing her.
And it wasn’t just Yixing. Luhan as well seemed to have taken a liking to her. Many times she would join them in the library or for walks around the castle. Now and then she brought her best friend Baekhyun along, and even though the petite, but extremely lively Gryffindor had hid behind Luhan’s back the first time they met, she had quickly warmed up to Sehun as well. Now the two girls made it a habit to visit Sehun between classes, mostly just to check up on her and exchange a few words, but the Slytherin appreciated it more than they probably realized.
Yixing, as well as Luhan and Baekhyun took turns inviting her over to eat with them and even though it earned them confused and often horrified glances from their fellow Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors, no one ever said a word. Hastily shoveled down meals, turned into drawn out matters full of silly jokes, gossip and laughter and even though she was still too reserved and shy to contribute most of the time, Sehun loved it nevertheless. She was content just listening to them, to answer their questions or laugh at the appropriate moments since none of them seemed to mind. Within a month they turned her entire world upside down and Sehun knew, with every part of her being, that she never wanted things to go back to the way they had been before.
Sehun didn’t think glaring at her quill was going to make it finish her Ancient Runes homework on its own, but she was more than willing to give it a try. She was completely stuck, letters blurring together on the pages of her text book, as she tried to translate the next line on the parchment in front of her, and she was slowly losing her patience. Usually she loved the steady work of it, enjoyed the feeling of unraveling the little mysteries hidden behind those symbols, but she had been feeling annoyed since lunch, after a group of boys - Ravenclaws by the look of their uniforms - had thought it was a good idea to bother her about the rapidly approaching full moon. One silent glare had been enough to thoroughly scare them away, but the temporary satisfaction had been short-lived. Her unsettled emotions had only gotten worse during her afternoon classes.
There was something very close to an itch settled at the base of her neck, just the way she always felt during the days leading up to a full moon, and the next flip of a page in her Runes textbook ended up a bit more forceful than planned. Glowering at the tear at the bottom of the page, she let out a little huff of irritation, trying to blow away the stubborn strand of hair repeatedly falling back into her face, but it settled into its former spot barely a second later.
It was the sudden feeling of Yixing’s leg pressing up against her own under the table that cut off her imminent growl before it had time to escape. Sehun felt her entire body going still, left foot stopping its incessant tapping as the warmth of the touch seeped into her through the fabric of Yixing’s pants. It was such a nice feeling, she was rendered completely motionless for several drawn-out moments. Sehun wasn’t used to people touching her - to people wanting to touch her - and she had never thought a simple contact could be this… lovely. It made her want to shift closer, maybe rest her head on his shoulder and let all the tension melt out of her body, but before she had time to ponder the outrageous notion, a light tug on one of her long strands of hair cut off any lucid thought.
Breath lodged in her throat she slowly, so slowly, turned her head to the side, eyes widening when she took in the way Yixing was carefully touching her hair. The sight was almost hypnotic, watching him wrap the blonde strand around his finger, just to let it slip free a second later. He wasn’t even looking, gaze lowered to the library copy of Dragon Species of Great Britain and Ireland, and the realization that he was doing it unconsciously, that he might have just reached out for her without being aware of it, had her sucking in a helpless breath.
The sound was enough to startle Yixing out of his focused state, and the shock on his face, when he realized what he was doing, had his eyes going wide until they matched the expression on Sehun’s face.
“Sorry.” Yixing’s voice was low, barely more than a whisper, as he snatched back his hand and even though he returned it to its original position next to the book on the table, he kept his leg right where it was, pressed up companionably to hers. Something about the matter-of-fact way he claimed her personal space as his own had her stomach fluttering with hesitant delight. “My mom used to say that touch settles people and you looked really annoyed. But I… I didn’t even notice I was doing that. I’m sorry if I overstepped any boundaries.”
His brows crinkled slightly, small frown creeping onto his face, and all Sehun wanted to do was reach out and smooth out the worried expression. Her fingers actually ached with the need to touch and with her entire focus on the effort to keep her hands in check, she wasn’t quite fast enough to control her mouth as well.
“No, it… it was nice.”
A slow blink of those dark eyes, a second one, and suddenly his face was once again graced by one of those blinding, utterly radiant smiles. From one second to another Sehun didn’t feel quite as embarrassed about blurting out the truth anymore, too distracted by the way her heart was pounding against the inside of her rib cage.
Now if she could only find out if his reaction meant what she hoped it meant, she might actually manage to get some sleep at night. Instead of lying awake, staring at the canopy of her bed and wondering if maybe - just maybe - Yixing felt the same way about her as she felt about him.
Professor McGonagall came to pick her up the end of her last class. It was a familiar routine by now, leaving her classroom to the agitated whispers of those who hadn’t realized yet that it would be a full moon that night, walking with her head held high and following the teacher down that deserted corridor on the second floor until they reached the door at the very end and stepped into the little chamber.
The headmistress took the wand Sehun was holding out to her, another safety measure that unfortunately couldn’t be avoided, and stepped out of the room again. She turned back around at the other side of the threshold and the brief flicker of emotion on her face was compassion, rather than pity or fear. It made Sehun a little bit less afraid herself.
“Good luck, Miss Oh. I will be back at sunrise.”
With a last tense smile she closed the heavy wooden door between them and with a mixture of relief and claustrophobia rising inside her, Sehun listened to the scrape of the key in the lock. The spell that professor McGonagall put on the door was less apparent, but Sehun knew it was there. It made her feel safe and caged in at the same time.
Turning around, Sehun took in the little room that had become her monthly home during full moon nights. The cot at the far side of the chamber was still the same, so was the little table beside it that held the simple, but undoubtedly delicious meal that had been prepared for her. Sehun wasn’t hungry, the awareness and rising itch of the imminent full moon too strong and distracting. Her skin felt alive, crawling and tightening, as if something was shifting just beneath and waiting to break free. But Sehun would eat nevertheless. She had learned a long time ago that she would be in need of all the energy she could muster. Turning into a werewolf wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience.
Apart from the two basic pieces of furniture the room was empty. She had been asked at the beginning of the year if she needed or wanted anything else to weather these monthly shifts, but Sehun had waved it off. There wasn’t anything that could distract her from what was about to come, so she did what she always did. She ate her early dinner, took off her clothes to save them from tearing during her shift and curled up on the makeshift bed, blanket pulled over her as if it would be able to shield off more than just the cold.
Sehun woke to searing pain.
The tortured scream was trapped in her throat, nothing more than a thin whimper leaving her mouth as she rolled off the bed, body convulsing in agony. Bones broke, flesh contorted, joints dislocated with sickening pops and claws tore through skin.
Fifteen awful seconds later it was over.
Strength returning to her limbs she pushed to her feet - all four of them - and immediately felt the animal’s hunger, the deep-rooted compulsion to hunt, to run and stalk its prey, but her human side tamped down on the urge with steely determination. With a mournful whine Sehun padded over to the small window and curled up beneath it, the animal in her uncaring about the comfort of a bed. The wolf lashed out at her, furious at being restrained like this, and even though she knew it was just the beginning she was already praying for it to stop.
The image of warm brown eyes, soft dark hair and the sweetest, dimpled smile came unbidden, but it was the peacefulness it had spreading through her chest that was the real surprise. This time her whine was one of relief and with the images of a human boy - one she wanted more than she had any right to - vivid in her mind, she slipped into a restless, fitful sleep.
It was more than she managed during most of these nights.
Daybreak woke her with renewed suffering. The transformation back was only marginally less painful. In a way it was easier, the knowledge that it would all be over in a matter of seconds like a beacon at the forefront of her mind, but with every shift Sehun felt he wolf’s savage resistance to retreat. But the rising sun pushed it back, forced it into its dormant state inside of her and within moments she felt the cold stone floor beneath her naked back. And even though she always forbid herself to cry, to give in to the gaping pain and fear inside of her, she couldn’t quite keep the single tear of exhaustion and relief from running down the side of her face.
Sehun spent the rest of the morning in the hospital wing, Madame Pomfrey checking up on her what felt like every ten minutes and forcing her to drink one ghastly potion after another. She didn’t care how supposedly good they were for her, the stuff tasted awful. When the rest of the student body was done with breakfast and safely seated inside their classrooms, Sehun was finally allowed to return to her dorm room.
And even though she had done nothing but sleep and try to sleep some more during the night, the first thing she did after taking a quick bath, was crawl back into bed, thanking the heavens she was excused from her classes for the day. While she had more energy than she would ever need during her time in wolf form, the aftermath was mostly defined by overwhelming exhaustion and none of Madame Pomfrey’s potion would be able to change that. She felt brittle, spread thin, and by the time her head hit the pillow she was already more than half asleep.
By the time she dragged herself out of bed and upstairs for dinner, she wasn’t sure which emotion outweighed the other - the anticipation of seeing her friends again or the fear of their reactions. Knowing about her being a werewolf and actually being confronted with the reality of her turning into one were two entirely different things, so when she heard a familiar - and usually so welcome - voice calling out her name, her first instinct was to turn back around and hide in the darkest depths of the dungeon.
Actually that was only her second. Her real first impulse was to walk up to Yixing, ask him for a hug and then proceed to melt into his embrace. But since that was impossible and running away would be more than just rude, she took a bracing breath and continued to where Yixing was telling his friends that he would meet up with them at the Hufflepuff table.
Sehun was just barely within arm’s reach when he pulled her in, hand closing around her wrist and eyes roving over her face as if he was looking for obvious injuries or signs of distress. There had been no hesitation to reach out for her, no hint of fear in his gaze and Sehun’s relief was so intense, she felt her eyes burning with the effort it took to keep herself from crying. For a moment she simply stopped breathing, as he raised his hand to carefully up her cheek, thumb tracing the dark circles beneath her eyes with a deepening frown, and Sehun was pretty sure her heart was about to pound its way out through her throat.
“Are you alright? Was it bad?”
The strokes of his thumb were so gentle, barely more than the whisper of a touch, and Sehun was caught between wanting to hide the glaring imperfections of her tired face and the urge to nuzzle deeper into the warm touch of his palm.
“I’m okay. I slept through most of it.”
Yixing didn’t seem convinced, eyes continuing to trace the drawn lines of her exhausted face, but before he could say anything, Luhan and Baekhyun came to a rushed stop next to them. She saw the fleeting tightening of his lips, but a second later he pulled his hand away and Sehun caught herself chasing the comforting touch.
“Sehun, are you okay?”
“Are you hurt? Nothing happened, right? We were looking for you in class today, but you were nowhere to be found.”
Both their faces were alive with worry, Baekhyun immediately putting a comforting hand on her shoulder, and even though Sehun was a tiny little bit disappointed at having been interrupted, she felt her throat and chest growing tight with emotion. It was almost unconceivable to realize how much they worried and cared about her. A month ago the thought alone would have been ridiculous.
If her voice was slightly thicker when finally managed to answer, everyone was nice enough not to mention it.
“Yeah, I’m alright. You don’t have to worry. I’m always excused from my classes after a full moon, because… well, it’s tiring.”
She heard Baekhyun’s sigh of relief as she returned Luhan’s smile as normally as possible - she still had trouble with the whole smiling thing - and that was when she noticed the person standing behind the Gryffindor. He was tall - even taller than Sehun in her boots - with raven hair, sun-kissed skin and the most piercing gaze she had ever seen. Sehun couldn’t help but feel more than a little intimidated by his towering presence. Following her gaze, Luhan noticed the silent exchange and immediately sprang into action.
“Oh, right! Sorry, I completely forgot to introduce you guys. Sehun, this is Tao, he’s a sixth year just like you.”
Inclining her head for a timid nod, Sehun forced herself to hold the unsettling eye-contact despite the nervous galloping of her heart. If Tao was friends with Luhan, he couldn’t be as scary as he looked. At least she hoped so.
“H-hi, Tao. It’s really… really nice to meet you.”
A tense beat of silence and suddenly she was caught up in the whirlwind that - she would soon learn - was Huang Zitao. With a coo that sounded entirely too high-pitched for his intimidating appearance, he sprang forward and threw his arms around her for an enthusiastic hug. Sehun’s surprised squawk was cut off by the hug that lifted her clean off her feet.
“YOU’RE SUCH A PRECIOUS THING! HOW CAN ANYONE BE AFRAID OF YOU?!”
The Slytherin girl was too stunned to move, frozen in the tight embrace and entirely clueless how to deal with the unexpected and explosive show of affection. Overly affectionate people were a complete mystery to her and she was pretty sure she had just come across the cuddliest of them all. But before she had to come up with a plan for escape there was a tightening around her wrist and a moment later she was free to move again. It was only then that Sehun realized that Yixing had never actually let go of her wrist.
“Control your boyfriend, Luhan.”
Yixing’s voice was sharper than she had ever heard it before and it had something going exhilaratingly tight in her stomach.
“Your possessive side is showing, Xingxing,” Luhan laughed, smile gleefully delighted as she hugged a pouting Tao to her side. The tall boy curled into her like a content cat. “My Taozi is just very open about his emotions, no need to be jealous.”
Instead of having their intended effect, the words only deepened the frown on Yixing’s face, provoking another round of satisfied laughter from Baekhyun and Luhan, while Tao just quietly smiled at the group. But the only thing Sehun could focus on was the fact that Yixing hadn’t denied his jealousy with a single word. He was still glaring at the back of Luhan’s head as they collectively headed for the Great Hall, hand firm and wonderful around her wrist, but there hadn’t even been a hint of denial.
It was almost too good to be true, but for once Sehun was convinced she wasn’t falling prey to wishful thinking. Her heart was all but pounding its way out of her chest when she pulled to a hesitant stop, Yixing following her example when he felt the resistance through his hold on her. The look of inquiry on his face only heightened her paralyzing nervousness, but with a display of courage she hadn’t known she possessed, she actually forced out the words she needed to say.
“You know…” that was as far as she got before she had to swallow through a suddenly uncomfortably dry throat. She would have done anything for a cup of pumpkin juice. “You… you don’t have to be jealous, because I really like you.”
And then - before the last remainder of her dwindling bravado had time to disappear - she took a quick step forward and leaned in to press a shy kiss to Yixing’s lips. Her first thought was that they were even softer than they looked, but then she felt Yixing tighten the grip of his hand around her wrist and lean into the tentative kiss and all thoughts simply flew from her mind. His warm, familiar scent wrapped itself around her comfortingly, making her breathe in and out on a content little sigh, and Sehun felt something she just knew was true happiness spreading through her chest.
By the time she pulled away, too inexperienced to know how to proceed from the innocent melding of lips, her cheeks were burning with a joyous kind of embarrassment. The last thing she saw before she ducked her head and ran towards her obnoxiously cheering group of friends was the stunned happiness in Yixing’s eyes and the brightest, most dazzling smile spreading across his face.
►title: hearts and claws
►pairing: girl!sehun/yixing
rating: pg-13
►word count: 8.8k
►warnings: werewolf girl!Sehun and brief, graphic transformation
►summary: Being a teenage girl was hard. Being a werewolf was even harder. But nothing beat being a teenage werewolf with a crush on the cute boy from the library.
Sehun slipped into the transfiguration classroom five minutes after the beginning of class, but Professor McGonagall only gave her a quick nod - well aware of the reason for her tardiness - before she continued with her lesson. She could feel the entire class’ eyes on her as she let herself sink into her usual seat. The Ravenclaw boy next to her - Sehun thought his name was Do Kyungsoo - gave her a wide-eyed stare, before he wrenched his gaze away and all but plastered himself to the seat neighbor on his other side. Sehun didn’t even bother with feeling hurt anymore - at least not very hurt.
In the two months since she had transferred here from Durmstrang, just in time for the beginning of the new school year, Do Kyungsoo hadn’t spoken a single word to her - except for apologizing profoundly after bumping her elbow with his that one time during their first lesson. The smell of his fear had thickened the air around them like fog, so strong, she had almost been able to taste it on her tongue. Needless to say, she hadn’t tried starting a conversation with him after that.
But Sehun was used to it. Really.
“The Heads of the Houses should probably do a head count of all the freshman and make sure all of them are accounted for. Maybe lunch wasn’t enough for her and she got herself a little freshman-snack as dessert. Who knows why she’s this late…”
The words were whispered from two rows behind Sehun, accompanied by hushed giggles and clearly meant to stay unheard, but her heightened senses were picking up on them almost effortlessly. And despite the pep-talk she had just given herself, Sehun felt her stomach lurch lightly at the unfairness of it all. She didn’t eat people. As a matter of fact she wasn’t that different from those giggling girls still talking about her, with the exception of turning into a furry beast whenever full moon came around, of course. But with the help of the daily dose of Wolfsbane potion she had just gotten from Professor Slughorn, that wasn’t that much of a problem any longer as well.
“I can’t believe Headmaster McGonagall allowed a werewolf on school grounds. That girl belongs in a zoo, not the best wizarding school in the world.”
It was something Sehun had heard countless times before. She was well aware of the amount of outraged parents Professor McGonagall had to deal with on a daily basis, had actually gotten her fair share of threatening and warning Howlers in her first week at Hogwarts, before her teachers had started to monitor the mail addressed to her. Not to mention the fact that she’d had to deal with these kinds of prejudices and hateful reactions since that fateful day she had been bitten by a werewolf at the age of seven. But that didn’t mean it was any less hurtful or annoying.
“I mean… she’s a monster.”
And even though she knew that it would probably just make it worse, might just prove those two bitches right, enough was enough. A growl barely trapped in the back of her throat, Sehun wheeled around in her seat and narrowed her eyes at the two girls with a seething glare. From the corner of her eye she saw Kyungsoo flinching away from her, felt almost tempted to sigh with resignation, but knew it couldn’t be helped. The two Gryffindor’s at the receiving end of her glower looked similarly terrified, shrinking into themselves in their seats, and even though Sehun knew that she would regret doing this, the momentary satisfaction outweighed her common sense quite clearly at the moment.
“Ms. Oh, is there a problem?”
Professor McGonagall’s sharp voice cut through the silence in the classroom and Sehun immediately turned around from where she had been glaring at the two girls behind her. She owed the headmaster so much for letting her attend Hogwarts, despite her… questionable condition, and disrupting her lesson definitely wasn’t how she wanted to repay her.
“No, Professor McGonagall. I’m sorry.”
Burying her nose in her open transfiguration textbook, Sehun pretended she didn’t hear the shocked and morbidly excited whispers, or the distinct smell of fear from her trembling seat neighbor.
With her classes over for the day, Sehun headed straight for the library as she usually did. She rarely spent any time in the Slytherin common room or the room she shared with the other sixth years. The dungeons had never been the coziest or most inviting place, but with winter just around the corner it was downright uncomfortable down there. Even with the fire burning in the fireplace around the clock. Sehun had never dealt well with being cold and just the thought of all the stories she had heard about the Gryffindor’s warm and homely common room had her shriveling with longing and envy. Curling up on one of those cushy couches with a book sounded like heaven to her right now.
But that wasn’t the only reason for her avoidance of the Slytherin dungeon. She also didn’t particularly enjoy the constant stares or frightful whispers whenever she was around. In the library Sehun could at least hide in a secluded corner and focus on her schoolwork - not the whispers of “How long until the next full moon?” or “Do you think she’ll attack someone today?”. She would rather spend the rest of her day holed up and lonely in the library than deal with any of that.
Sehun kept her gaze fixed stubbornly ahead, blocking out the way the other students in the third floor hallway parted for her like the Red Sea, and within minutes she turned in at the corridor leading up to the doors of the library. She felt the back of her neck prickle uncomfortably under the heavy stare of the people behind her, but forced herself not to speed up, to just keep on walking. Sehun hated it. She didn’t want all this attention, all that fear and biased hate directed at her, but she definitely wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of seeing her run from them, just because she didn’t deal well with being the focus of everyone’s attention. Not now, not ever. She had dealt with this for most of her life and she was going to have to deal with this reality for the rest of it. It was just another day like any other.
Or so Sehun thought, until she reached out for the heavy door of the library, just to have it pushed open in her direction from the inside. Taking a careful step back, she watched an almost obnoxiously blond boy squeeze through the gap and prepared herself for what was about to happen. It took the Gryffindor - judging by the colors of his tie - another step until he noticed her standing so close, but when he did he went rigid right in front of her. Sehun wasn’t the least bit surprised when his eyes went wide with a familiar kind of panic, but it was what happened next that had her doing a real double take.
Instead of bolting or shrinking in on himself, the taller boy took a clearly bracing breath, stuck out his chest and pushed open the door all the way until he was holding it open for her. For several seconds Sehun just stood there and stared, too stunned to process what was actually going on. She couldn’t even remember the last time someone had held a door open for her like that. Sehun witnessed small courtesies like this one all the time, but it had been ages since she had been on the receiving end of one. Things like this always happened to other girls, other people, not the scary ‘werewolf girl’. But there the boy was, still smiling at her and waiting for her to step through the door. And even though the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, forced to the point of actually looking painful, it was still the first time someone other than a teacher had smiled at her since she arrived at Hogwarts.
Swallowing down the sudden lump in her throat, Sehun gave the boy a small nod and pressed out a quick “thank you”, before she forced her feet to move and walked through the door he was still holding open for her. Her thanks came out a lot less cordial than planned, shock and shyness adding an unintended edge to her voice, and with an internal wince she watched form the corner of her eye as the blond guy flinched at her tone. A second later the door fell shut behind her with a quiet whoosh and Sehun was blanketed in the familiar not-quite-silence of the library.
Great job, dumbass. The first time someone actually does something nice for you and you scare him away.
Sehun was too focused on cursing her own awkwardness to notice that something was different, but one look around the room several moments later and she felt the corners of her mouth pull down in displeased frown.
So many people.
Apparently Sehun’s teachers weren’t the only ones that had started increasing their students’ work loads. For the first time since the start of the school year the library was packed with people, so busy with their studies and looking for the right books, they didn’t even notice her entry. It was an entirely novel feeling and for a second the girl wasn’t quite sure how to proceed from there. Sehun was so used to having all eyes on her the moment she entered a room, she actually froze in her spot three steps into the library, body tense as if it was waiting for something.
A tour of the library left her with the discouraging realization that all the tables in the room were occupied. There were plenty of free chairs, but no empty tables, and the thought of having to share her space with someone else again, left her distinctively unsettled. Late afternoons and evenings were supposed to be her time to get away from the frightened stares and constant surveillance, but even her favorite spot in the farthest corner of the library had been taken. The two Slytherin girls had seen Sehun approach and immediately put their bags on the empty chairs next to them, before they had averted their eyes and continued their hushed conversation with more fervor than before, as if pretending she wasn’t there would make her go away. And it had worked. For all her bravado, Sehun would never be daring enough to sit down at a table where she was so clearly unwanted. Classes and mealtimes in the Great Hall were different, she didn’t really have any other choice then, but now Sehun found herself circling back towards the entrance. Maybe she’d be in luck and the room she shared with the other Slytherin sixth years would be empty for once. And if not… well, they would just have to deal.
She was just passing the Reference Section, head held high with a confidence she wasn’t actually feeling, when she spied the almost empty table under one of the high windows to her right. Three of the four chairs were empty, the last one occupied by a dark-haired boy, seemingly asleep with his head pillowed on the pages of the open book in front of him. Sehun wasn’t quite sure what made her pause, what had her approaching slowly and sitting down opposite the dozing boy. But soon she was pulling her parchment and Transfiguration book out of her bag with the utmost care, trying not to make any noise and wake the boy and she figured it was probably the best she could do at the moment. At least he wouldn’t be bothered by her presence and she could work in peace without having someone stare at her from across the table the entire time. Sehun felt almost sorry for the guy, he’d probably get the shock of his life once he woke up and found himself sharing a table with a werewolf, but with a bit of luck Sehun would have already left for dinner before that happened.
She was about halfway through her essay on the dangers and common mistakes of human transfiguration, when she ran out of luck. Sehun had been too focused on her work to notice the little sounds the student in front of her was making - little sighs, the rustle of his cloak as he shifted in his seat and finally sat up straight - but the movement at the edges of her vision had the Slytherin freezing in her seat. For a few defiant seconds she considered ignoring him, but her damned curiosity got to her faster than expected and within a few moments she was slowly raising her head. The unexpected eye contact almost had her startling back, but her pride more than anything else, made her hold her position.
The boy’s hair was pressed flat on one side of his head, but standing up wildly on the other, the crease in his cheek looked as if he had slept with the edge of his book pressing into his skin, and even though the sight had a peculiar tingle igniting in her chest it were his eyes that eventually captured Sehun’s entire attention. They were dark, the deepest of browns, and hazed with the residues of sleep, but the look in them was almost curious as he continued to blink up at her out of bleary, barely opened eyes.
Sehun waited with bated breath for the realization to set in, but all she got was a mumbled “What time is it?” and she got caught so unaware by the unperturbed question, she found herself answering without a single hesitation.
“Almost four thirty.”
“Thanks.”
And then the most amazing thing happened. The Hufflepuff smiled at her. It was fleeting - a simple crinkling of his eyes and flash of utterly distracting dimples - but so endearing, Sehun actually jumped in her seat at his sudden change of expressions and jarringly loud words.
“Crap, I’m so late!”
He was gone in a flurry of movement - books packed away, bag thrown over his shoulder and cloak billowing out behind him - as he threw her a breathless “See you!”, badly disguised as a whisper, and bolted towards the exit. Sehun only realized she had actually turned around in her seat to watch his departure, when she felt her insides clamp down with irrational disappointment as she watched him stop for a few seconds to talk to a girl at the end of the aisle, the same smile he had given Sehun firmly in place.
Scolding herself for being stupid, Sehun forced herself to focus on her homework again, only to be interrupted a few seconds later by someone sitting down at her table. Head snapping up she met the gaze of none other than the girl she had just spied with the dark-haired boy.
Sehun had always thought of herself as reasonably pretty, maybe just a little bit too long, but she felt like an actual troll sitting across from the gorgeous Gryffindor. Her honey blond hair was cascading over her shoulders in shiny waves, face dominated by big blue eyes, a cute pixie nose and pink lips that were neither too full or too thin and for the first time in her life Sehun thought she might actually be sitting across from perfection. It was only when the Gryffindor girl raised an inquiring eyebrow at her that she realized she might have been staring a bit too obviously.
“Problem?”
The girl’s voice was melodic and pitched appropriately low for their surroundings, but there wasn’t even a hint of hesitation or fear in her challenging tone and for once it was Sehun shrinking back, thoroughly intimidated.
“N-no. No problem.”
A curt nod was all she got in return, before the other girl started rummaging in her bag and Sehun forced herself to return her attention to her own work. But all hope of focusing on it was lost as she found herself pondering the fact that she had encountered not just one, but actually two people that had seen nothing wrong in sharing a table with a werewolf.
It was quite the mind-boggling realization.
October’s full moon passed like her first one in Hogwarts had. She was picked up by the headmistress at the end of her afternoon classes and led to the simple chamber on the second floor. She spent her night safely locked inside and even though it had her feeling like a trapped animal, it also made her feel safe in a way she never had before. She didn’t have to worry about hurting anyone that way, because despite the fact that she had taken Professor Slughorn’s Wolfsbane potion religiously in the days leading up to the full moon, there was always a chance of something going wrong. Locked inside that chamber by key and spell alike, she was safe. And the student body of Hogwarts was safe from her.
She gladly endured the indignity of being locked away once a month if it meant she could attend school like a normal teenager - or as normal as a werewolf girl could hope to be.
“It’s you again.”
Head snapping up from the book in front of her so fast Sehun swore she could feel something crack, she discovered the same boy she had met before the last full moon looking at her from across the table. He had his chin propped up on one arm, the corner of his mouth pulled up in a secretive half smile and the same curiosity glinting in his eyes as the last time they had shared a table in the library. Sehun had a feeling she would have probably gotten caught up a lot more on that expression, if it weren’t for the hot slide of embarrassment and giddy excitement in her stomach. She had been so sure he’d been asleep, but once again she found herself with the way too confusing Hufflepuff looking at her and no idea how to react. Fingers tightening on the cover of her book, she forced herself to give a reply through suddenly numb lips.
“Yeah… it’s me.”
She had never claimed to be a sparkling conversationalist.
Sehun saw something flash in those brown eyes that looked suspiciously much like amusement and then he did it again. He smiled at her.
The Slytherin would have liked to say that her first reaction was bewilderment, after all a total stranger was sitting there and smiling at her with the sweetest expression imaginable, but instead she felt her heart slam up in her throat with a barely contained squeak of surprise. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had looked at her like that - maybe because it had never happened before - and with one utterly disarming smile the boy rendered all of her usual responses to people completely useless.
“I’m not stalking you, I swear.” She barely noticed him raising his eyebrows in confusion, rambling on just to keep herself from staring at him in tongue-tied astonishment. “It’s just… I really thought you were asleep and there aren’t any empty tables. You seemed okay with me sitting down with you last time, so I thought it would be okay this time as well. I-”
“I never said it wasn’t.” The unexpected words were enough to put a stop to her frantic babbling, her next breath faltering in her throat in surprise. “I’ve been curious about you, to be honest, so I’m glad we’re getting the chance to talk.”
He was smiling as he talked, gaze never straying from her face, and Sehun knew without a doubt that he was the single most confusing person she had ever come across.
“I don’t actually talk to people.”
It was a knee-jerk response - undoubtedly true, but knee-jerk nevertheless - and it had his brows pulling together in a small frown. Only then did she realize that her words could have been taken as a rejection.
“Why?”
“I just… don’t.”
The way his shoulders slumped at her reply shouldn’t make her feel as if she had just kicked a puppy, but it did. Just one more addition to a long list of emotions she wasn’t used to feeling and somehow the dark-haired boy had managed to bring out more than half of them already.
“Alright. I’m sure you have your reasons. I could probably go back to sleep if you want me to?”
He looked so earnest and sincere, Sehun actually felt her stomach flutter nervously. It had been so long since her last conversation with a guy that wasn’t her father, brother or a teacher and she really didn’t want to mention the werewolf thing in fear of scaring him away. But he was so calm about the entire situation, the urge to explain became virtually overpowering. In the end she just gave up on fighting it. “It’s just that me sitting down at someone’s table usually puts them in a total panic. Conversations aren’t exactly an option, you know?”
“Panic? Why?”
The Hufflepuff looked so confused, blinking at her with his head tilted to the side, dark, soft-looking hair falling over his brow and Sehun felt something give a little jump in her chest that definitely wasn’t anxiousness.
“Because of the werewolf thing.”
Another slow blink of those sleepy eyes and Sehun didn’t even notice her fingers curling into the fabric of her skirt, an instinctive attempt to stifle the sudden urge to reach out and brush that messy fringe out of the boy’s face.
“Werewolf thing?”
Disbelieve settled in as Sehun wondered if he could actually be that slow.
“Yes, the fact that I’m a werewolf tends to terrify people for some reason.”
Sehun wasn’t quite able to keep the dry bitterness out of her voice, but then she noticed the look on the boy’s face and all thoughts of people’s reactions to her werewolf-status simply fled her mind. Sleepy confusion turned into stunned shock, his eyes going wide and lips parting without a sound leaving his mouth and that was when she realized he hadn’t known.
“Oh.”
It was a breathless sound, filled with stunned realization, but for the life of her Sehun couldn’t interpret its meaning. Was he going to flinch away from her like everyone else? Look at her and see nothing but the monster that hid inside of her? She told herself it wouldn’t matter. What was one more person avoiding her in the grand scheme of things? But deep down Sehun knew that she was just fooling herself.
“I can leave if you want me to.”
Some part of her knew that it would savage the tentative glimmer of hope that had sparked inside of her the day she had sat down opposite the sleeping boy, but she forced herself not to let it show. She couldn’t let them know how hurt she truly was, how desperately she longed for a friend.
“Do you want to leave?”
The unexpected question gave her a brief pause, but the defiant core of her pride didn’t give her the time to ponder it.
“I don’t want you to force yourself if you’re scared and disgusted. I’m not gonna hold a grudge just because you don’t want to sit on the same table as the werewolf girl.”
“Why would I be disgusted? And I don’t think I’m scared either.”
“But… I’m a werewolf.”
“Yes, you mentioned that.”
Now it was Yixing turn to look at her as if she was being stupid. He looked almost exasperated, tone dry as dust and for some reason Sehun felt her lips twitching with the first hint of a real smile. She was so startled by the unfamiliar movement of her lips, it took her a moment to gather her thoughts.
“Aren’t you afraid I’ll attack and bite you?”
“Why? Do you want to bite me?”
The very breathless “yes” on the tip of her tongue almost slipped over her lips, but Sehun caught herself at the last second. It wasn’t the werewolf side of her doing the talking, instead it was that utterly feminine core of her that looked at that full lower lip and saw something deliciously biteable. Still, she didn’t think it was the time for confessions like that - not to mention the fact that she would never actually gather the courage to admit to those embarrassing thoughts - so all she replied was “We don’t feel the urge to bite people, unless it’s a full moon. Werewolves are like everyone else most of the time, so no, I definitely don’t want to attack or bite you.”
At least not the way you were asking about.
“Then I’m definitely not afraid.”
With that he gave her another of those disarmingly dimpled smiles, obviously done with that part of their conversation, and peeked down at the open book in front of him, as if he was trying to remember what he had been working on before Sehun’s appearance.
It was as she watched him stare at his things, deep in thought and absentmindedly playing with the feathery part of his quill, that she realized the only thing more puzzling than the boy itself was her completely unexpected reaction to him.
If this was what a crush felt like, then she really had no idea what to do with it.
Zhang Yixing. His name was Zhang Yixing and apart from taking naps in the library and smiling at total strangers, he apparently loved sweets, Quidditch and all types of magical creatures.
“My dad is an independent researcher who sometimes works for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. He’s been telling me the most amazing stories ever since I was a young kid and I guess it was pretty clear from the beginning that I was just as interested in the topic as him,” Yixing recounted after they left the library behind them in favor of dinner in the Great Hall, eyes gleaming with excitement and arms cutting through air as he gesticulated enthusiastically. He looked so animated, so completely immersed, Sehun found herself entirely focused on him, without a hint of attention for their surroundings.
“Does that mean you want to follow in his footsteps once you graduate? Become a researcher as well?”
“I’m not sure. He’s away from home a lot and I think I’d like to work with these creatures, rather than just learning more about them, but I haven’t decided yet. Maybe I’ll just ask Hagrid if he could use an assistant.”
The image of Yixing walking the grounds with Hagrid, looking tiny and ridiculous in a matching fur coat had Sehun snorting out a startled laugh and for once she was simply too amused to feel self-conscious about the emotional outbreak.
“What?”
Yixing’s smile was even apparent in his voice and Sehun found herself attempting a halfway comprehensible answer without hesitation.
“It’s just… you… Hagrid… fur coats… uniform.”
It was utterly hopeless, she just couldn’t stop laughing long enough to get out more than a few wheezing words, but the Hufflepuff seemed to understand.
“So you don’t think I could pull it off? I think I’d look rather dashing in furs.”
The mock-offended tone was ruined by the barely contained laughter in his voice and one look at his face set off another round of giggles that had Sehun clutching her stomach at the rising ache in her muscles.
“You should really laugh more often. It makes you look even prettier.”
The words cut off her laughter, had heat shooting into Sehun’s cheeks and her heart jumping frantically in her chest. For once she was actually grateful for someone calling out Yixing’s name from behind them and saving her from having to come up with a coherent reply.
Walking towards them, stride purposeful as if she didn’t have any time to waste, was the beautiful Gryffindor girl that had sat down so nonchalantly at Sehun’s table the other day. Her gaze moved from Yixing to Sehun and back and by the time she joined them in front of the Great Hall, the look on her face wasn’t just knowing, but also obviously intrigued.
“Can’t say I’m surprised to see you of all people walking around with the werewolf girl.”
The way she said it, with no hint of disdain or accusation in her tone, had the sudden tension in Sehun’s shoulders slowly draining away, but it was the little, almost conspiratorial wink she sent Sehun that unraveled the persistent knot of apprehension in her chest.
“That’s because you’ve known me since I was three years old and helped me hunt for dragons in our backyards.”
There was an almost brotherly affection in Yixing’s voice and the endearing images flashing up in her mind, had her a second away from missing his following introduction.
“Sehun, meet Luhan, she’s a seventh year like me and we’ve known each other forever. Luhan, this is my new friend Sehun. She’s a very friendly and sweet werewolf.”
Chest alive with the most volatile mix of nervousness, embarrassment and amusement, Sehun had no idea what to focus on. A part of her was very hung up on Yixing introducing her his friend. No one had ever called her that and she actually had to stifle the urge to pinch herself to make sure she hadn’t just fallen asleep in the library and was having the most vivid and most confusing dream imaginable. Another part of her though, was thoroughly tempted to pinch Yixing instead. She definitely hadn’t missed the teasing tone in his voice during that last part of his introduction.
“Hey, Sehun. It’s nice to meet you. I’ve actually heard a lot about you already… and I’m pretty sure most of it is complete bullshit.”
The quite inventive introduction and wry smile on Luhan’s face made Sehun like her immediately.
“Very likely.”
Sehun’s deadpan answer had both seventh years huffing out a little laugh and even though it still felt unfamiliar and strange, Sehun couldn’t help but join in with a smile of her own.
She didn’t like to admit it, but she was more than just a little disappointed to see Yixing leave just a few minutes later, after he was called over by his obviously impatient group of friends. Saying their good-byes Sehun watched his retreating back with an unnervingly fluttery chest and asked herself what in the world she had just gotten herself into.
“Can I say something?”
Surprised to find Luhan still standing next to her, Sehun felt her defense coming up as the words registered. And judging by the little twitch of Luhan’s mouth, the older girl hadn’t missed it.
“Yixing is a sweetheart. He can be a bit slow and he’s definitely too nice for his own good. I would have snatched him up myself if I weren’t head over heels in love with my boyfriend, so let me give you a little piece of advice. Better make sure no one steals him away from under your nose.”
Before Sehun had time to progress that little speech, Luhan was gone with a last cheeky grin and wink to join her friends and Sehun made her way over to the Slytherin table with her chin tucked towards her collarbones to hide the flaming globes of her cheeks. Sehun’s face felt hot for the entire duration of dinner, both at the memory of Yixing’s compliment and the fact that Luhan had seen through her almost effortlessly.
For the first time since her arrival in Hogwarts she was too distracted to pay attention to the way people were still staring at her.
Becoming friends with someone wasn’t something Sehun had any experience in, but this seemed almost too easy. It seemed as if Yixing had simply decided to take her under his wing and from one moment to the other things just completely changed for her. Instead of keeping her head fixed straight ahead while walking down the corridors, she let her gaze roam over the crowds of students, just in case he was there to give her one of his cheerful waves as they passes each other on their respective ways to class. Instead of holing up in the farthest corner of the library she now had a permanent seat at Yixing’s table, where he went from asking her every possible question about her lycanthropy to telling her random stories about… well, anything. Zhang Yixing, Sehun realized very quickly, was an endless source of funny, ridiculous or shocking information and she simply loved watching him talk. He spoke with his entire body - eyes glowing, lips tugging up or down, arms gesticulating animatedly - and the wary part of her, the part that had only been met with hate and fear from other people in her life, was afraid of how dependent she was becoming on the attention he was showing her.
And it wasn’t just Yixing. Luhan as well seemed to have taken a liking to her. Many times she would join them in the library or for walks around the castle. Now and then she brought her best friend Baekhyun along, and even though the petite, but extremely lively Gryffindor had hid behind Luhan’s back the first time they met, she had quickly warmed up to Sehun as well. Now the two girls made it a habit to visit Sehun between classes, mostly just to check up on her and exchange a few words, but the Slytherin appreciated it more than they probably realized.
Yixing, as well as Luhan and Baekhyun took turns inviting her over to eat with them and even though it earned them confused and often horrified glances from their fellow Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors, no one ever said a word. Hastily shoveled down meals, turned into drawn out matters full of silly jokes, gossip and laughter and even though she was still too reserved and shy to contribute most of the time, Sehun loved it nevertheless. She was content just listening to them, to answer their questions or laugh at the appropriate moments since none of them seemed to mind. Within a month they turned her entire world upside down and Sehun knew, with every part of her being, that she never wanted things to go back to the way they had been before.
Sehun didn’t think glaring at her quill was going to make it finish her Ancient Runes homework on its own, but she was more than willing to give it a try. She was completely stuck, letters blurring together on the pages of her text book, as she tried to translate the next line on the parchment in front of her, and she was slowly losing her patience. Usually she loved the steady work of it, enjoyed the feeling of unraveling the little mysteries hidden behind those symbols, but she had been feeling annoyed since lunch, after a group of boys - Ravenclaws by the look of their uniforms - had thought it was a good idea to bother her about the rapidly approaching full moon. One silent glare had been enough to thoroughly scare them away, but the temporary satisfaction had been short-lived. Her unsettled emotions had only gotten worse during her afternoon classes.
There was something very close to an itch settled at the base of her neck, just the way she always felt during the days leading up to a full moon, and the next flip of a page in her Runes textbook ended up a bit more forceful than planned. Glowering at the tear at the bottom of the page, she let out a little huff of irritation, trying to blow away the stubborn strand of hair repeatedly falling back into her face, but it settled into its former spot barely a second later.
It was the sudden feeling of Yixing’s leg pressing up against her own under the table that cut off her imminent growl before it had time to escape. Sehun felt her entire body going still, left foot stopping its incessant tapping as the warmth of the touch seeped into her through the fabric of Yixing’s pants. It was such a nice feeling, she was rendered completely motionless for several drawn-out moments. Sehun wasn’t used to people touching her - to people wanting to touch her - and she had never thought a simple contact could be this… lovely. It made her want to shift closer, maybe rest her head on his shoulder and let all the tension melt out of her body, but before she had time to ponder the outrageous notion, a light tug on one of her long strands of hair cut off any lucid thought.
Breath lodged in her throat she slowly, so slowly, turned her head to the side, eyes widening when she took in the way Yixing was carefully touching her hair. The sight was almost hypnotic, watching him wrap the blonde strand around his finger, just to let it slip free a second later. He wasn’t even looking, gaze lowered to the library copy of Dragon Species of Great Britain and Ireland, and the realization that he was doing it unconsciously, that he might have just reached out for her without being aware of it, had her sucking in a helpless breath.
The sound was enough to startle Yixing out of his focused state, and the shock on his face, when he realized what he was doing, had his eyes going wide until they matched the expression on Sehun’s face.
“Sorry.” Yixing’s voice was low, barely more than a whisper, as he snatched back his hand and even though he returned it to its original position next to the book on the table, he kept his leg right where it was, pressed up companionably to hers. Something about the matter-of-fact way he claimed her personal space as his own had her stomach fluttering with hesitant delight. “My mom used to say that touch settles people and you looked really annoyed. But I… I didn’t even notice I was doing that. I’m sorry if I overstepped any boundaries.”
His brows crinkled slightly, small frown creeping onto his face, and all Sehun wanted to do was reach out and smooth out the worried expression. Her fingers actually ached with the need to touch and with her entire focus on the effort to keep her hands in check, she wasn’t quite fast enough to control her mouth as well.
“No, it… it was nice.”
A slow blink of those dark eyes, a second one, and suddenly his face was once again graced by one of those blinding, utterly radiant smiles. From one second to another Sehun didn’t feel quite as embarrassed about blurting out the truth anymore, too distracted by the way her heart was pounding against the inside of her rib cage.
Now if she could only find out if his reaction meant what she hoped it meant, she might actually manage to get some sleep at night. Instead of lying awake, staring at the canopy of her bed and wondering if maybe - just maybe - Yixing felt the same way about her as she felt about him.
Professor McGonagall came to pick her up the end of her last class. It was a familiar routine by now, leaving her classroom to the agitated whispers of those who hadn’t realized yet that it would be a full moon that night, walking with her head held high and following the teacher down that deserted corridor on the second floor until they reached the door at the very end and stepped into the little chamber.
The headmistress took the wand Sehun was holding out to her, another safety measure that unfortunately couldn’t be avoided, and stepped out of the room again. She turned back around at the other side of the threshold and the brief flicker of emotion on her face was compassion, rather than pity or fear. It made Sehun a little bit less afraid herself.
“Good luck, Miss Oh. I will be back at sunrise.”
With a last tense smile she closed the heavy wooden door between them and with a mixture of relief and claustrophobia rising inside her, Sehun listened to the scrape of the key in the lock. The spell that professor McGonagall put on the door was less apparent, but Sehun knew it was there. It made her feel safe and caged in at the same time.
Turning around, Sehun took in the little room that had become her monthly home during full moon nights. The cot at the far side of the chamber was still the same, so was the little table beside it that held the simple, but undoubtedly delicious meal that had been prepared for her. Sehun wasn’t hungry, the awareness and rising itch of the imminent full moon too strong and distracting. Her skin felt alive, crawling and tightening, as if something was shifting just beneath and waiting to break free. But Sehun would eat nevertheless. She had learned a long time ago that she would be in need of all the energy she could muster. Turning into a werewolf wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience.
Apart from the two basic pieces of furniture the room was empty. She had been asked at the beginning of the year if she needed or wanted anything else to weather these monthly shifts, but Sehun had waved it off. There wasn’t anything that could distract her from what was about to come, so she did what she always did. She ate her early dinner, took off her clothes to save them from tearing during her shift and curled up on the makeshift bed, blanket pulled over her as if it would be able to shield off more than just the cold.
Sehun woke to searing pain.
The tortured scream was trapped in her throat, nothing more than a thin whimper leaving her mouth as she rolled off the bed, body convulsing in agony. Bones broke, flesh contorted, joints dislocated with sickening pops and claws tore through skin.
Fifteen awful seconds later it was over.
Strength returning to her limbs she pushed to her feet - all four of them - and immediately felt the animal’s hunger, the deep-rooted compulsion to hunt, to run and stalk its prey, but her human side tamped down on the urge with steely determination. With a mournful whine Sehun padded over to the small window and curled up beneath it, the animal in her uncaring about the comfort of a bed. The wolf lashed out at her, furious at being restrained like this, and even though she knew it was just the beginning she was already praying for it to stop.
The image of warm brown eyes, soft dark hair and the sweetest, dimpled smile came unbidden, but it was the peacefulness it had spreading through her chest that was the real surprise. This time her whine was one of relief and with the images of a human boy - one she wanted more than she had any right to - vivid in her mind, she slipped into a restless, fitful sleep.
It was more than she managed during most of these nights.
Daybreak woke her with renewed suffering. The transformation back was only marginally less painful. In a way it was easier, the knowledge that it would all be over in a matter of seconds like a beacon at the forefront of her mind, but with every shift Sehun felt he wolf’s savage resistance to retreat. But the rising sun pushed it back, forced it into its dormant state inside of her and within moments she felt the cold stone floor beneath her naked back. And even though she always forbid herself to cry, to give in to the gaping pain and fear inside of her, she couldn’t quite keep the single tear of exhaustion and relief from running down the side of her face.
Sehun spent the rest of the morning in the hospital wing, Madame Pomfrey checking up on her what felt like every ten minutes and forcing her to drink one ghastly potion after another. She didn’t care how supposedly good they were for her, the stuff tasted awful. When the rest of the student body was done with breakfast and safely seated inside their classrooms, Sehun was finally allowed to return to her dorm room.
And even though she had done nothing but sleep and try to sleep some more during the night, the first thing she did after taking a quick bath, was crawl back into bed, thanking the heavens she was excused from her classes for the day. While she had more energy than she would ever need during her time in wolf form, the aftermath was mostly defined by overwhelming exhaustion and none of Madame Pomfrey’s potion would be able to change that. She felt brittle, spread thin, and by the time her head hit the pillow she was already more than half asleep.
By the time she dragged herself out of bed and upstairs for dinner, she wasn’t sure which emotion outweighed the other - the anticipation of seeing her friends again or the fear of their reactions. Knowing about her being a werewolf and actually being confronted with the reality of her turning into one were two entirely different things, so when she heard a familiar - and usually so welcome - voice calling out her name, her first instinct was to turn back around and hide in the darkest depths of the dungeon.
Actually that was only her second. Her real first impulse was to walk up to Yixing, ask him for a hug and then proceed to melt into his embrace. But since that was impossible and running away would be more than just rude, she took a bracing breath and continued to where Yixing was telling his friends that he would meet up with them at the Hufflepuff table.
Sehun was just barely within arm’s reach when he pulled her in, hand closing around her wrist and eyes roving over her face as if he was looking for obvious injuries or signs of distress. There had been no hesitation to reach out for her, no hint of fear in his gaze and Sehun’s relief was so intense, she felt her eyes burning with the effort it took to keep herself from crying. For a moment she simply stopped breathing, as he raised his hand to carefully up her cheek, thumb tracing the dark circles beneath her eyes with a deepening frown, and Sehun was pretty sure her heart was about to pound its way out through her throat.
“Are you alright? Was it bad?”
The strokes of his thumb were so gentle, barely more than the whisper of a touch, and Sehun was caught between wanting to hide the glaring imperfections of her tired face and the urge to nuzzle deeper into the warm touch of his palm.
“I’m okay. I slept through most of it.”
Yixing didn’t seem convinced, eyes continuing to trace the drawn lines of her exhausted face, but before he could say anything, Luhan and Baekhyun came to a rushed stop next to them. She saw the fleeting tightening of his lips, but a second later he pulled his hand away and Sehun caught herself chasing the comforting touch.
“Sehun, are you okay?”
“Are you hurt? Nothing happened, right? We were looking for you in class today, but you were nowhere to be found.”
Both their faces were alive with worry, Baekhyun immediately putting a comforting hand on her shoulder, and even though Sehun was a tiny little bit disappointed at having been interrupted, she felt her throat and chest growing tight with emotion. It was almost unconceivable to realize how much they worried and cared about her. A month ago the thought alone would have been ridiculous.
If her voice was slightly thicker when finally managed to answer, everyone was nice enough not to mention it.
“Yeah, I’m alright. You don’t have to worry. I’m always excused from my classes after a full moon, because… well, it’s tiring.”
She heard Baekhyun’s sigh of relief as she returned Luhan’s smile as normally as possible - she still had trouble with the whole smiling thing - and that was when she noticed the person standing behind the Gryffindor. He was tall - even taller than Sehun in her boots - with raven hair, sun-kissed skin and the most piercing gaze she had ever seen. Sehun couldn’t help but feel more than a little intimidated by his towering presence. Following her gaze, Luhan noticed the silent exchange and immediately sprang into action.
“Oh, right! Sorry, I completely forgot to introduce you guys. Sehun, this is Tao, he’s a sixth year just like you.”
Inclining her head for a timid nod, Sehun forced herself to hold the unsettling eye-contact despite the nervous galloping of her heart. If Tao was friends with Luhan, he couldn’t be as scary as he looked. At least she hoped so.
“H-hi, Tao. It’s really… really nice to meet you.”
A tense beat of silence and suddenly she was caught up in the whirlwind that - she would soon learn - was Huang Zitao. With a coo that sounded entirely too high-pitched for his intimidating appearance, he sprang forward and threw his arms around her for an enthusiastic hug. Sehun’s surprised squawk was cut off by the hug that lifted her clean off her feet.
“YOU’RE SUCH A PRECIOUS THING! HOW CAN ANYONE BE AFRAID OF YOU?!”
The Slytherin girl was too stunned to move, frozen in the tight embrace and entirely clueless how to deal with the unexpected and explosive show of affection. Overly affectionate people were a complete mystery to her and she was pretty sure she had just come across the cuddliest of them all. But before she had to come up with a plan for escape there was a tightening around her wrist and a moment later she was free to move again. It was only then that Sehun realized that Yixing had never actually let go of her wrist.
“Control your boyfriend, Luhan.”
Yixing’s voice was sharper than she had ever heard it before and it had something going exhilaratingly tight in her stomach.
“Your possessive side is showing, Xingxing,” Luhan laughed, smile gleefully delighted as she hugged a pouting Tao to her side. The tall boy curled into her like a content cat. “My Taozi is just very open about his emotions, no need to be jealous.”
Instead of having their intended effect, the words only deepened the frown on Yixing’s face, provoking another round of satisfied laughter from Baekhyun and Luhan, while Tao just quietly smiled at the group. But the only thing Sehun could focus on was the fact that Yixing hadn’t denied his jealousy with a single word. He was still glaring at the back of Luhan’s head as they collectively headed for the Great Hall, hand firm and wonderful around her wrist, but there hadn’t even been a hint of denial.
It was almost too good to be true, but for once Sehun was convinced she wasn’t falling prey to wishful thinking. Her heart was all but pounding its way out of her chest when she pulled to a hesitant stop, Yixing following her example when he felt the resistance through his hold on her. The look of inquiry on his face only heightened her paralyzing nervousness, but with a display of courage she hadn’t known she possessed, she actually forced out the words she needed to say.
“You know…” that was as far as she got before she had to swallow through a suddenly uncomfortably dry throat. She would have done anything for a cup of pumpkin juice. “You… you don’t have to be jealous, because I really like you.”
And then - before the last remainder of her dwindling bravado had time to disappear - she took a quick step forward and leaned in to press a shy kiss to Yixing’s lips. Her first thought was that they were even softer than they looked, but then she felt Yixing tighten the grip of his hand around her wrist and lean into the tentative kiss and all thoughts simply flew from her mind. His warm, familiar scent wrapped itself around her comfortingly, making her breathe in and out on a content little sigh, and Sehun felt something she just knew was true happiness spreading through her chest.
By the time she pulled away, too inexperienced to know how to proceed from the innocent melding of lips, her cheeks were burning with a joyous kind of embarrassment. The last thing she saw before she ducked her head and ran towards her obnoxiously cheering group of friends was the stunned happiness in Yixing’s eyes and the brightest, most dazzling smile spreading across his face.