Humpathon 2011. Read. Write. Hump. Savvy?

Oct 10, 2011 07:41


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c: harry potter, c: chambers, c: bellatrix lestrange, p: lily luna/teddy, c: fleur delacour, p: godric/rowena, p: draco/snape, c: rosmerta, p: alicia/charlie, t: harry/hermione/ron, c: gwenog jones, p: eloise/stephen, p: chambers/michael, w: pretty_panther, p: eleanor/graham, c: rowena ravenclaw, p: lavender/ron, c: severus snape, p: charlie/hermione, c: victoire weasley, p: astoria/vaisey, w: xxx_angelin_xxx, p: katie/tonks, c: stephen cornfoot, c: charlie weasley, c: bill weasley, w: agirlnamedtruth, p: bellatrix/rodolphus, c: pansy parkinson, w: shy_of_reality, c: nymphadora tonks, p: charlie/draco, t: bill/charlie/hermione, p: ginny/tom, p: draco/harry, c: michael corner, p: blaise/gabrielle, w: straydog733, p: astoria/roger, c: roger davies, p: draco/rose, p: penelope/percy, p: audrey/percy, c: graham pritchard, c: ginny weasley, c: scorpius malfoy, p: penelope/vaisey, p: narcissa/remus, c: draco malfoy, w: x_lostinthesun, c: penelope clearwater, c: lisa turpin, p: anthony/padma, c: astoria greengrass, p: montague/padma, c: eleanor branstone, p: draco/hermione, p: bill/fleur, c: lily luna potter, c: cho chang, p: lisa/roger, p: draco/pansy, c: hermione granger, p: draco/ginny, p: fleur/pansy, c: lucius malfoy, p: hannah/neville, p: lisa/michael, c: audrey weasley, p: rose weasley/scorpius, c: eloise midgen, c: montague, c: alicia spinnnet, p: albus severus/scorpius, c: anthony goldstein, c: gabrielle delacour, c: neville longbottom, c: lavender brown, c: rodolphus lestrange, p: lucius/rita, p: hermone/pansy, p: katie/percy, c: tom riddle, p: charlie/cho, c: narcissa malfoy, p: audrey/seamus, c: marlene mckinnon, c: padma patil, p: ginny/harry, p: harry/scorpius, c: blaise zabini, w: ellielove_x3, c: remus lupin, p: gwenog/savage, p: roger/rosmerta, w: valentineninja, c: ron weasley, p: draco/astoria, p: teddy/victoire, c: hannah abbott, c: rose weasley, p: benjy/marlene, p: pansy/ron, p: ginny/seamus, c: albus severus potter, c: savage, c: benjy fenwick, *humpathon 2011, c: teddy lupin, p: astoria/michael, w: ldymusyc, c: katie bell, c: vaisey, c: godric gryffindor, w: writcraft, c: rita skeeter, p: hermione/ron, p: harry/pansy

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Re: Lucius/Rita - hair fiery_flamingo October 13 2011, 21:00:31 UTC
A/N: I don't write much crack so I hope this is something like what you hoped for. I love Rita, she's a horrible, hilarious human-being.

Of all her informants, Rita liked Lucius best--though he'd prefer the term patron. Not so much for his information, most of it she could get through other means, but for the way they exchanged it. A tit for tat, if you'd like.

And since Lucius' lips were now clinging to one of her tits, she really did like.

But most of all, it was his hair. That long cornsilk mane that she tried to emulate with charms but never quite got right. She loved the tickle of it as he dragged it over her body: her breasts, belly, and cunt. She loved that she could use it like a rein when she rode him--and wouldn't Narcissa love to know that her husband enjoyed pony play?

That was going to be chapter four of her tell-all book on the Malfoys. Working chapter title: Peacocks and Ponies: Sexual Deviancy in the Malfory Manor. But there was months, maybe years, worth of research left to do before she could write it. She didn't want to be hasty with Lucius, after all. Once it hit shelves she'd never get to run her fingers through that hair again.

And she'd never get the color right.

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Re: Lucius/Rita - hair elle_blessing October 13 2011, 21:52:49 UTC
I love this. When I saw this prompt I was kinda secretly thrilled for the crack potential and you so delivered.

I think I'll go have myself another cackle XD

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Re: Lucius/Rita - hair fiery_flamingo October 17 2011, 16:37:33 UTC
Cackle away, mon ami! :D

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Re: Lucius/Rita - hair leigh_adams October 13 2011, 22:18:53 UTC
HEE! This was fantastic, Sam! It's cracky without being one of those "You must have been on LSD" sort of trips.

♥ to Rita's inner monologue, and the imagery of Rita using Lucius' hair as a whip is hilarious.

Well done, you! *SMOOSH*

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Re: Lucius/Rita - hair fiery_flamingo October 17 2011, 16:41:22 UTC
Thanks! I think it might actually not be possible to write Rita-centric fic that isn't crack. And I love her for it, bless her heart.

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Re: Lucius/Rita - hair mugglechump October 14 2011, 03:35:34 UTC
I SO want to pony play with Jason Isaacs now. >.>

(Okay, maybe that's not really a new desire.)

This was fantastic, Sam!

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Re: Lucius/Rita - hair fiery_flamingo October 17 2011, 16:42:49 UTC
*snickers* Thanks! (And I know, right?)

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Re: Lucius/Rita - hair mihnn October 14 2011, 04:59:55 UTC
Oh, this was brilliant! Lucius and pony play...what would have thought? ;D

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Re: Lucius/Rita - hair fiery_flamingo October 17 2011, 16:44:58 UTC
Certainly not me. xD It's something about the boots and the crop. I dunno. He's a kinky bastard.

I'm glad enjoyed! :)

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Re: Lucius/Rita - hair swissmarg October 14 2011, 05:23:29 UTC
Hahaha! This is great! Like the tit for tat line. (Tits for tattling, I assume.) And yes, I quite understand Rita not wanting to give up a valuable source until it's *completely* mined. Thank you for taking this on, it's wonderful!

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Re: Lucius/Rita - hair fiery_flamingo October 17 2011, 16:47:05 UTC
:D Yay! Glad you liked. And obviously tits for tatting. That was my first written line. xD Nothing but the finest (attempt at) crack for the first prompt!

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Re: Lucius/Rita - hair maurice October 14 2011, 07:17:48 UTC
Oh Rita, only you ♥

This was brilliant! XDD

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Re: Lucius/Rita - hair fiery_flamingo October 17 2011, 16:48:21 UTC
Indeed, only Rita. ♥

Glad you liked it! Thanks!

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Re: Lucius/Rita - hair fiery_flamingo October 31 2011, 16:51:36 UTC
:D Thanks!

I'd like to get my hands on the book too. Rita does the best tell-alls. Hee!

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