"i don't want to talk right now. thank you for your concern."
1. my hair is black
2. so are my eyes.
3. i wish they were green.
4. my nose is big, though i don't really wish it was that much smaller, because...
5. my face itself is big.
6. i have big cheeks.
7. always have.
8. my lips are ok.
9. my fingers are really short.
10. they're fat too.
11. just like the rest of me
12. however the palms of my hands are normal sized, i guess.
13. i bite my nails.
14. my left arm might be the ugliest part about me.
15. it might be the most meaningful, too.
16. my feet are WAY too big.
17. my ear lobes are connected.
18. i pretty much wish they weren't.
19. i'm impatient.
20. i'm needy.
21. i don't care about anything... if it's important to you, i'll still probably pee on it.
22. i'd like to care, i just don't think i know how.
23. i'm lazy.
24. i'm loud.
25. too loud.
26. i say a lot of things i don't mean to a lot of people that i don't even mean to talk to.
27. i'm mean.
28. i'm depressed.
29. i'm lonely...
30. or i might just be a whore for attention.
31. i don't so much wish i was dead, as i wish i could just start over.
32. i only believe in god when i want something.
33. i feel bad about that.
34. every letter anyone's ever written me, i've saved.
35. mainly because i'm still trying to think of everything i want to write back.
36. i lie.
37. to make you feel better.
38. to make me feel better.
39. i LIKE it when people talk to me in circles... i like to think about absolutely everything and absolutely nothing at the same time.
40. i'm still in love with the boy i rejected sophomore year.
41. i don't know what i want to do in college.
42. i know it's not theatre.
43. every song i've written in the past year have been about the same four people.
44. brandon
45. chelsea
46. scott
47. and jill.
48. i worry incessantly about everyone and i never get over anything.
49. i'm miserable in my own little world that i've created for myself out of nightmares about things that haven't even happened yet.
50. that's it.
***************************************
i've had a lot of time to think this summer. maybe too much time. i could sit and analyze myself with Armor For Sleep playing in the background for hours. is it healthy? i don't care. i think i just feel like if more people know me (like, REALLY know me), then i can know myself a little better. everything i listed... is really important to me. see how trivial? see how superfluous? i think tomorrow i'll just start being someone completely different.
2. so are my eyes.
3. i wish they were green.
4. my nose is big, though i don't really wish it was that much smaller, because...
5. my face itself is big.
6. i have big cheeks.
7. always have.
8. my lips are ok.
9. my fingers are really short.
10. they're fat too.
11. just like the rest of me
12. however the palms of my hands are normal sized, i guess.
13. i bite my nails.
14. my left arm might be the ugliest part about me.
15. it might be the most meaningful, too.
16. my feet are WAY too big.
17. my ear lobes are connected.
18. i pretty much wish they weren't.
19. i'm impatient.
20. i'm needy.
21. i don't care about anything... if it's important to you, i'll still probably pee on it.
22. i'd like to care, i just don't think i know how.
23. i'm lazy.
24. i'm loud.
25. too loud.
26. i say a lot of things i don't mean to a lot of people that i don't even mean to talk to.
27. i'm mean.
28. i'm depressed.
29. i'm lonely...
30. or i might just be a whore for attention.
31. i don't so much wish i was dead, as i wish i could just start over.
32. i only believe in god when i want something.
33. i feel bad about that.
34. every letter anyone's ever written me, i've saved.
35. mainly because i'm still trying to think of everything i want to write back.
36. i lie.
37. to make you feel better.
38. to make me feel better.
39. i LIKE it when people talk to me in circles... i like to think about absolutely everything and absolutely nothing at the same time.
40. i'm still in love with the boy i rejected sophomore year.
41. i don't know what i want to do in college.
42. i know it's not theatre.
43. every song i've written in the past year have been about the same four people.
44. brandon
45. chelsea
46. scott
47. and jill.
48. i worry incessantly about everyone and i never get over anything.
49. i'm miserable in my own little world that i've created for myself out of nightmares about things that haven't even happened yet.
50. that's it.
***************************************
i've had a lot of time to think this summer. maybe too much time. i could sit and analyze myself with Armor For Sleep playing in the background for hours. is it healthy? i don't care. i think i just feel like if more people know me (like, REALLY know me), then i can know myself a little better. everything i listed... is really important to me. see how trivial? see how superfluous? i think tomorrow i'll just start being someone completely different.