'best friends' means i'll pull the trigger
and i will pull the fucking trigger. fuck this, i need new fucking friends. i need friends that fucking have the same respect and trust for me that i have for them. if you have a 'best friend' and you could tell them anything, wouldn't you expect them to feel the same way about you? YOU don't fucking tell me anything! it drives me fucking crazy... and whenever i tell you something i feel like i can't even fucking trust or that you don't even fucking care. i'm fucking over it, i'm over fucking wondering whether the fuck i'm your best friend or if you're just mine. i'm there when you need me... and when you don't, which is most of the fucking time, it just seems like i have to fucking fight for your attention (which i shouldn't have to fucking do, but you act like you don't even notice me.) a simple 'are you OK?' doesn't fucking fix anything. No, I'm not fucking OK... and you can't do ANYTHING about it.
i realized tonight that i just need to start over. i need to just be ME. if you want me, come and get me. but, fuck this. i'm not struggling to be friends with anyone anymore... if you like me, great. if you don't, whatever dude. but, if you take me for fucking granted.... fuck you.
despite the violently angry after-taste... alex, sasha, ben... i had a really insightful time tonight.
phones live to ring.
i realized tonight that i just need to start over. i need to just be ME. if you want me, come and get me. but, fuck this. i'm not struggling to be friends with anyone anymore... if you like me, great. if you don't, whatever dude. but, if you take me for fucking granted.... fuck you.
despite the violently angry after-taste... alex, sasha, ben... i had a really insightful time tonight.
phones live to ring.