Hello, Dolly
What Dolly Parton means to me: boobs, "9 To 5," Dollywood (yes I've been there), "Romeo" (featuring a music video starring Billy Ray Cyrus), some made-for-TV Christmas movie, "Islands In The Stream," Steel Magnolias, and "Why'd You Come In Here Lookin' That." Basically, none of the Dolly songs I'm most familiar with were performed on AI tonight. I don't associate "I Will Always Love You" with Dolly at all...for me, and I think for most people my age, Whitney Houston's version is it.
Tonight's Dolly-themed episode was pretty good. There were a lot of nice performances, but no one really brought the wow. Simon was crankier than usual tonight, because he is a country music h8er. My thoughts, for whatever they're worth...
Brooke White, "Jolene" -- Okay, so I do know this song, but I thought it was by Loretta Lynn. Oops! I was feeling Brooke's performance, mostly because she was totally in her element, not because it was a great vocal. I don't think she quite got the emotion of the song. The judges were pretty mixed on it. Brooke's been coasting since "Let It Be"...next week I hope she really brings it! Grade: B-
David Cook, "Little Sparrow" -- DCook got time in the pimp chair tonight to clear up the whole arrangement-stealing controversy. Heh. He gave props to those pathetic famewhores Doxology for borrowing their version of "Eleanor Rigby" so they can STFU now. Yay! I have to admit, when the story first broke, I doubted Doxology's claim. It seemed pretty far fetched to me that David would know of an obscure Seattle band's cover of "Eleanor Rigby" but then when he talked about doing research on iTunes to prepare for each week in the video package showing the Idols doing their studio recordings, it seemed more plausible. Anyway, he admitted his thieving ways tonight, so I hope Doxology is happy now. On to David's "Little Sparrow"...it was really lovely, a nice, subdued performance that allowed him to show off a little more of his impressive range. He can do falsetto! Who knew? I wasn't familiar with this song at all, but David made me like it. He also made Simon, hater of country music and songs about birds(???), enjoy it. Yet another Dcook song I'll be purchasing and adding to my iPod tomorrow. Grade: A (Over in the shallow end of the pool, I didn't really love the new hairstyle tonight. In certain lighting, it looked like hairplugs. Downgrade on the hair.)
Ramiele Malubay, “Do I Ever Cross Your Mind” -- Meh. The song had a gospel/soul vibe, which definitely suited her, but she didn't really pull it off. She's vulnerable this week. Grade: D
Jason Castro, "Travelin’ Thru" -- Jason's pimp chair time was all about how he has his very own stalker! Ryan read him some of her postcards and Jason just sat there and listened. Seriously, he didn't say a word. He chose to sing "Travelin' Through" tonight, and it didn't do anything for me. The vocal was pleasant enough but his charisma failed to come through. At one point I thought he sang the words "piece of shit" (and censored himself on the "shit") so I had to look up the lyrics to see if that's what the words actually are. Negative. I think Jason will be safe tomorrow night after his fans got a bottom three scare last week, but he, like Brooke, needs to get his A-game on next week. Grade: C-
Carly Smithson, "Here You Come Again" -- So I realized tonight that I enjoy Carly the most when I don't watch her. She's got to do something about looking so mean while she's performing. The one time I did look at my TV, she broke out into this smile that was eerily reminiscent of Kat McPhee. It was uncanny. Crankypants Cowell took what I thought was a cheap shot at her and bitched about her wardrobe choices. He wants her to dress more like a star. Okay, but this is a singing competition, Simon. And I liked Carly's singing tonight. I just wish I liked HER more.
Grade: B+
David Archuleta, “Smoky Mountain Memories” -- OMG THE BEST EVER!!1111!!1! according to the judges. OVERRATED!!111!11! according to me. I like his voice, but once again...snore. Grade: C+
Kristy Lee Cook “Coat of Many Colors” -- Guess what y'all? KLCrap is gonna be around for another week! She picked a popular Dolly song, sang it well enough, and looked really pretty. Her dress was gorgeous.
Grade: C
Syesha Mercado, “I Will Always Love You” -- So we've been through nearly seven seasons of AI, and this diva classic has been off-limits to great female voices like Kelly Clarkson, Tamyra Gray, Carrie Underwood, Melinda Doolittle, Fantasia, etc. and tonight it got wasted on Syesha. She was alllll over the place vocally. Some parts sounded great, some parts were total shit, and then there was that one note she held forever and ever and ever. The judges weren't impressed, but I think that one glory note will get people voting for her. Grade: C+
Michael Johns, “It’s All Wrong, But It’s All Right” -- Dolly seemed pretty smitten in her mentoring session with him. Well, he is a dreamboat, so I can't say I blame her! Michael's song choice, another I'm not familiar with, really brought out the soul in his voice. He was great I thought, second best after Dcook. Grade: A-
Who got my vote: Nobody. How much longer can I keep this up?
Who should go: Ramiele
Who will go: Ramiele
PS -- Hey new friends!!
Tonight's Dolly-themed episode was pretty good. There were a lot of nice performances, but no one really brought the wow. Simon was crankier than usual tonight, because he is a country music h8er. My thoughts, for whatever they're worth...
Brooke White, "Jolene" -- Okay, so I do know this song, but I thought it was by Loretta Lynn. Oops! I was feeling Brooke's performance, mostly because she was totally in her element, not because it was a great vocal. I don't think she quite got the emotion of the song. The judges were pretty mixed on it. Brooke's been coasting since "Let It Be"...next week I hope she really brings it! Grade: B-
David Cook, "Little Sparrow" -- DCook got time in the pimp chair tonight to clear up the whole arrangement-stealing controversy. Heh. He gave props to those pathetic famewhores Doxology for borrowing their version of "Eleanor Rigby" so they can STFU now. Yay! I have to admit, when the story first broke, I doubted Doxology's claim. It seemed pretty far fetched to me that David would know of an obscure Seattle band's cover of "Eleanor Rigby" but then when he talked about doing research on iTunes to prepare for each week in the video package showing the Idols doing their studio recordings, it seemed more plausible. Anyway, he admitted his thieving ways tonight, so I hope Doxology is happy now. On to David's "Little Sparrow"...it was really lovely, a nice, subdued performance that allowed him to show off a little more of his impressive range. He can do falsetto! Who knew? I wasn't familiar with this song at all, but David made me like it. He also made Simon, hater of country music and songs about birds(???), enjoy it. Yet another Dcook song I'll be purchasing and adding to my iPod tomorrow. Grade: A (Over in the shallow end of the pool, I didn't really love the new hairstyle tonight. In certain lighting, it looked like hairplugs. Downgrade on the hair.)
Ramiele Malubay, “Do I Ever Cross Your Mind” -- Meh. The song had a gospel/soul vibe, which definitely suited her, but she didn't really pull it off. She's vulnerable this week. Grade: D
Jason Castro, "Travelin’ Thru" -- Jason's pimp chair time was all about how he has his very own stalker! Ryan read him some of her postcards and Jason just sat there and listened. Seriously, he didn't say a word. He chose to sing "Travelin' Through" tonight, and it didn't do anything for me. The vocal was pleasant enough but his charisma failed to come through. At one point I thought he sang the words "piece of shit" (and censored himself on the "shit") so I had to look up the lyrics to see if that's what the words actually are. Negative. I think Jason will be safe tomorrow night after his fans got a bottom three scare last week, but he, like Brooke, needs to get his A-game on next week. Grade: C-
Carly Smithson, "Here You Come Again" -- So I realized tonight that I enjoy Carly the most when I don't watch her. She's got to do something about looking so mean while she's performing. The one time I did look at my TV, she broke out into this smile that was eerily reminiscent of Kat McPhee. It was uncanny. Crankypants Cowell took what I thought was a cheap shot at her and bitched about her wardrobe choices. He wants her to dress more like a star. Okay, but this is a singing competition, Simon. And I liked Carly's singing tonight. I just wish I liked HER more.
Grade: B+
David Archuleta, “Smoky Mountain Memories” -- OMG THE BEST EVER!!1111!!1! according to the judges. OVERRATED!!111!11! according to me. I like his voice, but once again...snore. Grade: C+
Kristy Lee Cook “Coat of Many Colors” -- Guess what y'all? KLCrap is gonna be around for another week! She picked a popular Dolly song, sang it well enough, and looked really pretty. Her dress was gorgeous.
Grade: C
Syesha Mercado, “I Will Always Love You” -- So we've been through nearly seven seasons of AI, and this diva classic has been off-limits to great female voices like Kelly Clarkson, Tamyra Gray, Carrie Underwood, Melinda Doolittle, Fantasia, etc. and tonight it got wasted on Syesha. She was alllll over the place vocally. Some parts sounded great, some parts were total shit, and then there was that one note she held forever and ever and ever. The judges weren't impressed, but I think that one glory note will get people voting for her. Grade: C+
Michael Johns, “It’s All Wrong, But It’s All Right” -- Dolly seemed pretty smitten in her mentoring session with him. Well, he is a dreamboat, so I can't say I blame her! Michael's song choice, another I'm not familiar with, really brought out the soul in his voice. He was great I thought, second best after Dcook. Grade: A-
Who got my vote: Nobody. How much longer can I keep this up?
Who should go: Ramiele
Who will go: Ramiele
PS -- Hey new friends!!