So lemme explain, kay? Tnx.
If you're wondering why I've been neglecting my LJ for several years, and I know you are, here's your explanation.
(I don't think ANYONE who might have me on their f-list still uses this thing. Oh wellz.)
Contrary to popular (popular according to the imaginary people that follow my journal) belief, my journal has been very active for the past few years. In fact, I update nearly every day (though for the past WEEK or so?? I've failed to update. So tired, so busy, mehhh). These entries, however, have all been private.
Why, Sarah? Why?!
Because nobody wants to read the dramatic retelling of my life's story each day. Because I don't WANT you reading much of what I want to ensure that I remember in the future. I'm really a very private person. Trouble is, I have quite a lot of thoughts and feelings; many more thoughts and feelings than I have people to tell them to. And that's alright. Every now and then I want to rip my hair out, punch a baby, this/that/whatever due to the overwhelming frustration caused by my loneliness and unwillingness to share with others. But usually the journal is good enough. I find it rather therapeutic, letting the thoughts flow through my fingertips and into the journal faster than I can keep up with them. Just to have it out there, though no one else can see it--though no one else may ever see it--it's a comfort. It's a relief, somehow. And I will continue to relieve myself in this way as often as I am compelled to do so. And that's usually every day.
I will, undoubetdly, continue to post privately. There are many things I don't wish to say "out loud," so to speak. There are many things that I know no one else wants to read. There are things I'm not ready for anyone to know, regardless of whether they're strangers or my closest friends. But, for whatever bizarre reason, the notion that real-life "strangers" I consider online "friends" can maybe, if they care to, try and understand even a fraction of my life. Understand may not be the word I'm looking for. I don't need anyone to ~understand me. I don't think anyone can. I'm not sure any of us can really ~understand anyone. Not completely, anyway. But we can see them. We can see into their lives through the words they post on the pages for us to see. I think that's so fascinating. I think people are just so itneresting. I think that reading about other people's lives, whether they be mundane or extraordinary, can be so interesting. Every person's life has the potential to intrigue. It's then up to the subjective reader to decide whether or not they have in fact been intrigued and are then curious enough to continue reading.
So I leave it up to you, subjective readers. This post was rather heady, but I will let you know up front that I do use proper grammar (or improper to add emphasis...often, baha), I do ramble, I do dramatize nearly every insignificant event, and I do think "out loud"...a lot. I'm very ~thoughtful. Full of thought.
About me? I'm completely neurotic, anxious, totally OCD and insecure. I'm a bitch, but mostly in thought and rarely in action (eh, rarely may be too strong a word, haha). I have totally bizarre and very vivid dreams. I'm a lover (and thus a hater) blessed and cursed with a passionate heart. I'm totes afraid of boyz (I'll get you, Joe the Bartender), and I usually sound like a 14 y/o when I mention them (ex: I SAW JOE TODAY AND HE SAID HI, ZOMG HE TOTALLY LIKES MEEE). I'm an actress, a writer, and imagineer (is that a term I've stolen from Disney?). I'm interning this summer at New World Stages in Times Square NYC. I'm off to London in the fall, hopefully Chicago in the spring to study at Second City--oh god, anywhere but fucking Ithaca. I'm kind of weird, but in a sort of cool way (Yeah?? Let's hope).
Read at your own risk. Follow for a while, stop reading if you don't like it. I'ma say what I'ma say. I may be reclusive among communities I watch, even comment/post in, but this journal is my domain, and I do not hold back.
I'd love to follow your lives as you follow mine. I think you're fascinating, and I hope you find some fascination (in the most non-creepy way possible) in getting to know me too. Welcome. As far as you're concerned, I'm back.
PS: I usually don't re-read my entries before I post them. Same way I write papers for school, ha. SO THEY GONE BE RAMBLY AND QUITE POSSIBLY NONSENSICAL. K? GR8.
Add yo'selves below, y'alls.
(I don't think ANYONE who might have me on their f-list still uses this thing. Oh wellz.)
Contrary to popular (popular according to the imaginary people that follow my journal) belief, my journal has been very active for the past few years. In fact, I update nearly every day (though for the past WEEK or so?? I've failed to update. So tired, so busy, mehhh). These entries, however, have all been private.
Why, Sarah? Why?!
Because nobody wants to read the dramatic retelling of my life's story each day. Because I don't WANT you reading much of what I want to ensure that I remember in the future. I'm really a very private person. Trouble is, I have quite a lot of thoughts and feelings; many more thoughts and feelings than I have people to tell them to. And that's alright. Every now and then I want to rip my hair out, punch a baby, this/that/whatever due to the overwhelming frustration caused by my loneliness and unwillingness to share with others. But usually the journal is good enough. I find it rather therapeutic, letting the thoughts flow through my fingertips and into the journal faster than I can keep up with them. Just to have it out there, though no one else can see it--though no one else may ever see it--it's a comfort. It's a relief, somehow. And I will continue to relieve myself in this way as often as I am compelled to do so. And that's usually every day.
I will, undoubetdly, continue to post privately. There are many things I don't wish to say "out loud," so to speak. There are many things that I know no one else wants to read. There are things I'm not ready for anyone to know, regardless of whether they're strangers or my closest friends. But, for whatever bizarre reason, the notion that real-life "strangers" I consider online "friends" can maybe, if they care to, try and understand even a fraction of my life. Understand may not be the word I'm looking for. I don't need anyone to ~understand me. I don't think anyone can. I'm not sure any of us can really ~understand anyone. Not completely, anyway. But we can see them. We can see into their lives through the words they post on the pages for us to see. I think that's so fascinating. I think people are just so itneresting. I think that reading about other people's lives, whether they be mundane or extraordinary, can be so interesting. Every person's life has the potential to intrigue. It's then up to the subjective reader to decide whether or not they have in fact been intrigued and are then curious enough to continue reading.
So I leave it up to you, subjective readers. This post was rather heady, but I will let you know up front that I do use proper grammar (or improper to add emphasis...often, baha), I do ramble, I do dramatize nearly every insignificant event, and I do think "out loud"...a lot. I'm very ~thoughtful. Full of thought.
About me? I'm completely neurotic, anxious, totally OCD and insecure. I'm a bitch, but mostly in thought and rarely in action (eh, rarely may be too strong a word, haha). I have totally bizarre and very vivid dreams. I'm a lover (and thus a hater) blessed and cursed with a passionate heart. I'm totes afraid of boyz (I'll get you, Joe the Bartender), and I usually sound like a 14 y/o when I mention them (ex: I SAW JOE TODAY AND HE SAID HI, ZOMG HE TOTALLY LIKES MEEE). I'm an actress, a writer, and imagineer (is that a term I've stolen from Disney?). I'm interning this summer at New World Stages in Times Square NYC. I'm off to London in the fall, hopefully Chicago in the spring to study at Second City--oh god, anywhere but fucking Ithaca. I'm kind of weird, but in a sort of cool way (Yeah?? Let's hope).
Read at your own risk. Follow for a while, stop reading if you don't like it. I'ma say what I'ma say. I may be reclusive among communities I watch, even comment/post in, but this journal is my domain, and I do not hold back.
I'd love to follow your lives as you follow mine. I think you're fascinating, and I hope you find some fascination (in the most non-creepy way possible) in getting to know me too. Welcome. As far as you're concerned, I'm back.
PS: I usually don't re-read my entries before I post them. Same way I write papers for school, ha. SO THEY GONE BE RAMBLY AND QUITE POSSIBLY NONSENSICAL. K? GR8.
Add yo'selves below, y'alls.