(no subject)
I lost a pound last week, despite binging for two days. One time was for purely emotional reasons, which, until that point, was something I hadn't done in some time.
On Monday I finally filled out the paper work and made an appointment to see a counsellor. So of course I felt like absolute shit and only wanted to cry and binge for the rest of the day. I have been binging since.
It feels like my body can't really handle it anymore. Like it just can't deal with and digest that much food. My stomach still feels shitty this morning, even though I have yet to eat today. I need to get back on track. I wanted this month to be my 20 lb mark.
It's hard, though. I know it isn't the answer but with all of the stressful shit I have right now, I keep questioning the value of a diet at this moment. Should I just let myself binge and mask everything? Or struggle against myself and add that to the list of reasons to feel shit/stressed?
This whole therapy thing feels like it's going to hurt me more than help me.
On Monday I finally filled out the paper work and made an appointment to see a counsellor. So of course I felt like absolute shit and only wanted to cry and binge for the rest of the day. I have been binging since.
It feels like my body can't really handle it anymore. Like it just can't deal with and digest that much food. My stomach still feels shitty this morning, even though I have yet to eat today. I need to get back on track. I wanted this month to be my 20 lb mark.
It's hard, though. I know it isn't the answer but with all of the stressful shit I have right now, I keep questioning the value of a diet at this moment. Should I just let myself binge and mask everything? Or struggle against myself and add that to the list of reasons to feel shit/stressed?
This whole therapy thing feels like it's going to hurt me more than help me.