(no subject)
Spent last night crying about my weight again. I was just really hungry and my husband said he'd make dinner when we got home, but he didn't, and so like a selfish bastard I whined and complained until he did... and then spent the time he took to cook crying by myself because I felt like such a selfish shitface for bothering him and for being hungry (I don't fucking deserve food) and just overall for being such a fat worthless fuck....
I weighed myself this morning. I've only lost 1 pound this week... I didn't even stray from the diet. Maybe I ate a couple portions that were bigger than they should have been... but still? It's like my body has figured out what's going on and now it won't play along. It's not like I've been starving myself (although I can definitely tell you how triggered I've been to), so I don't see why it should be resistent. I guess part of it is just how lazy I am...
Hopefully this week will go better. Maybe I'll stop feeling so triggered and depressed.
I weighed myself this morning. I've only lost 1 pound this week... I didn't even stray from the diet. Maybe I ate a couple portions that were bigger than they should have been... but still? It's like my body has figured out what's going on and now it won't play along. It's not like I've been starving myself (although I can definitely tell you how triggered I've been to), so I don't see why it should be resistent. I guess part of it is just how lazy I am...
Hopefully this week will go better. Maybe I'll stop feeling so triggered and depressed.