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[howtokillmyself]

Sort of took an unplanned break from this place... it's been good for me. I went three weeks without binging. I'm getting out of that mindset although my actual consumption is slipping back into the old habit. I don't think of it as "binging" right now although I really haven't done so well this week. Week before my period... it's always such a

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Re: Thanks.

[asthinasher]

yeah my mom was a heavy heavy (2.5 packs a day) smoker before she had me, and to this day, she can't even touch a cigarette, not even a single drag, cuz she knows she'll get sucked back in that easily. freaky shit.

but you're right - i have heard about ed'd people making, well, a full recovery. and i have to hold on to that hope, otherwise... i just can't compare it to alcoholism. i can't. it would be failure all over the place.

you know, sometimes i think about ms. hornbacher's wasted and how at the beginning (or is it the very end? hah) she's talking about how now, even when she feels really full, she knows that the bathroom is only ten steps away but she refrains and puts up with the discomfort. and it's like, she was SO fucked, but she's managing okay, right? inspiration like that... that's the only thing that's gonna keep me sane, i think.

yeah, i am gonna try SO damn hard to keep the b/p's down to once a week. multiple times during that one day, but ONLY one day.
i keep saying this, though, and not sticking to it. but i have to! goddddd...