Compliments 101
Compliments are good openers.
They open conversations, doors, legs…
There is a bit of a knack to handing out really good compliments, so I’m going to try and give you a run down of the right and wrong ways to compliment someone.
Once you get the basics down, you’ll find this is much easier than you think it is and its so gloriously effective, if used correctly it can get just about anyone laid.
1) Don’t be vague.
‘You look good’ is not a compliment. Its like saying ‘How are you?’ or ‘Have a nice day’. It doesn’t mean anything.
2) Don’t compliment inappropriate or sexual aspects.
When you say my boobs look great, I think you’re stupid, desperate or just pathetic. I know they’re good. You’re the eighth tedious, moronic guy to have mentioned it today. Some girls are desperate enough to like these compliments. Daddy didn’t love them. They’re needy. You don’t want them.
3) Don’t mention yourself in a compliment.
I can’t walk fast enough to get away from people who complement themselves, by complementing me. If it were legal, I’d perform vasectomies on street corners on these guys. Give me half an excuse and I’ll do that vasectomy with my knee.
4) Do be specific.
The best compliment ever is: “You look amazing in those jeans.” Say it with confidence and smile and we can find the nearest maintenance closet. “You look amazing in those shoes” “Those glasses are amazing” and “That skirt is really amazing”. Are all just as good. Notice I did not mention shirts (we know you’re just looking at our breasts) or say anything was ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’.
5) Find out what she’s passionate about and compliment her on that.
Does the object of your lust have hobbies? Photography maybe? Art? Creative writing? Is she an exercise buff who works out a lot? Does she love her dog more than your mother loved you? These are compliment gold. If you compliment a woman on something she is passionate about, you have her attention.
The downside is you actually have to look at the art, photography, writing or dog. Don’t try and compliment her if you haven’t. Guys do this to me all the time and I know instantly. For example, if they offer to read some of my writing and I send them a scene where a small child is disemboweled? They’re going to get themselves blacklisted instantly if they say it was ‘Sweet and thought provoking’. This has happened to me more than once. Always say something that proves you took note. “I love that brown spot by his nose” for example. Or, “My favorite was the photo you took at the Twelve Apostles.”
6) Handle bitch-crazy well.
Some women react negatively to compliments. Some women deny what you’ve said-usually, because they’ve been raised to believe it’s what women should do. Some women even get offended (if you complimented their ass, it’s you, not them). Handle this gracefully. “Whatever anyone else thinks, I think it’s great” is a pretty safe response. Then you can change the subject. Whatever you do, don’t argue about it.
7) Put up with the boring monologue.
You complimented a woman, now she’s telling you a bunch of shit you couldn’t care less about. Where she got the jeans, how long she’s had the jeans, what her hairdresser said about the jeans…
Believe it or not, this is good. Women see disclosing information as a positive. She’s sharing herself, and if you listen, take note and make some intelligent responses; soon she might be sharing more than useless facts about her jeans. She might be sharing what’s IN the jeans.
8) Practice.
Practice complimenting people. It’s free, it makes people feel good and it makes people like you. There is no down side at all. Compliment store clerks, strangers, people at work, your mother, your neighbor…
Compliments aren’t sexual… or they shouldn’t be. You don’t have to use them only on people you want to shag. Practice makes perfect and the more you do it, the better you’ll be.
Try it, three times a day and twice on Sundays.