Cor Blimey....
Well I am now a member of the unemployed. I think the last even was the straw upon the proverbial camel's back. I think the personnel lady was a little confused when I responded to "So today is just going to be your last day" with a rousing reply of "BITCHIN!" I'm not happy to be out of a job, but i am happy to be out of that job. Sorry Grace, just so you know you were the best thing about that job. If I can just find a nice part time endeavor to whittle some more time away at I shall be happy.
So I ended up hanging out with steve, megan, linwood, and Tina, which was kosher. we shared many a lively tale going to and fro like "The Tale of Linwood's Gratuitous Flab" or "Brave Sir Kramer and the Night of a Thousand Virgins" or even "Madam Bowie's Decanter of Endless Contraceptives". But verily...Agh forgot to switch over to normal speech. But the evening was rather short lived before disaster struck in the form of a rouge lawman. For as I was driving Tina home it was not long before i saw those tell tale lights in my rear view window. At that point i was very glad Tina was sober because the thought of her being drunk in that situation sends me into uncontrollable spasms that make me look like a urban dancer. So I was pretty pissed, but then I look over and she has this big ol goofy grin on her face and this look of apt attention and she's just like "I've never been in a car with someone who has been pulled over before." This was one of those times in life where a response like that makes you torn between laughing at the situation or savagely assaulting the person. So thankfully I laughed.
Remember This little excerpt from a expert on police children: NEVER assume the Police are just one of the "good guys" who are there to uphold the law! They're all evil stormtroopers who are solely interested in crushing your spirit and brutalizing you for their own pleasure! Here's some helpful suggestions for dealing with the Police.
If you hear a knock at your door followed by somebody identifying themselves as a Police officer, DO NOT let them in! Respond by shrieking, "screw off, pigs!" If they continue to knock, claim you have a gun and you're not afraid to use it!
If somebody breaks into your house and starts stealing your stuff, DO NOT call the Police! They will merely rush in and beat up the criminal AND you! Instead, walk up to the burglar and ask him if he'd like to talk with you about his need to break the law. Sit down with the person and discuss his issues. Criminals are people too and just need a little guidance.
Whenever you spot somebody trying to raise money for Widows of Slain Police Officers or something equally ludicrous, make sure to spit in their donation can and shout "FASCIST!"
Scream slogans such as, "PEACE, NOT GUNS!" frequently when you're walking through the mall.
Protest by never seeing any of the RoboCop movies, except the third sequel, the one where he helps the homeless people.
When playing "Cowboys and Indians", always be the Indians (Native Americans) and try to smash all the Cowboys in the face with large rocks.
So I ended up hanging out with steve, megan, linwood, and Tina, which was kosher. we shared many a lively tale going to and fro like "The Tale of Linwood's Gratuitous Flab" or "Brave Sir Kramer and the Night of a Thousand Virgins" or even "Madam Bowie's Decanter of Endless Contraceptives". But verily...Agh forgot to switch over to normal speech. But the evening was rather short lived before disaster struck in the form of a rouge lawman. For as I was driving Tina home it was not long before i saw those tell tale lights in my rear view window. At that point i was very glad Tina was sober because the thought of her being drunk in that situation sends me into uncontrollable spasms that make me look like a urban dancer. So I was pretty pissed, but then I look over and she has this big ol goofy grin on her face and this look of apt attention and she's just like "I've never been in a car with someone who has been pulled over before." This was one of those times in life where a response like that makes you torn between laughing at the situation or savagely assaulting the person. So thankfully I laughed.
Remember This little excerpt from a expert on police children: NEVER assume the Police are just one of the "good guys" who are there to uphold the law! They're all evil stormtroopers who are solely interested in crushing your spirit and brutalizing you for their own pleasure! Here's some helpful suggestions for dealing with the Police.
If you hear a knock at your door followed by somebody identifying themselves as a Police officer, DO NOT let them in! Respond by shrieking, "screw off, pigs!" If they continue to knock, claim you have a gun and you're not afraid to use it!
If somebody breaks into your house and starts stealing your stuff, DO NOT call the Police! They will merely rush in and beat up the criminal AND you! Instead, walk up to the burglar and ask him if he'd like to talk with you about his need to break the law. Sit down with the person and discuss his issues. Criminals are people too and just need a little guidance.
Whenever you spot somebody trying to raise money for Widows of Slain Police Officers or something equally ludicrous, make sure to spit in their donation can and shout "FASCIST!"
Scream slogans such as, "PEACE, NOT GUNS!" frequently when you're walking through the mall.
Protest by never seeing any of the RoboCop movies, except the third sequel, the one where he helps the homeless people.
When playing "Cowboys and Indians", always be the Indians (Native Americans) and try to smash all the Cowboys in the face with large rocks.