31 Has Sucked Thus Far...
Let's see...so far this year, I've clipped off the tip of my pinky on my right hand (my drawing/righting hand), which put me out of commission for a few weeks, I've had to deal with so much freaking drama that it's made me physically ill...speaking of physically ill, I've been struggling with acid reflux, which has in turn spawned a bout of lactose intolerence, and oh yeah...just found out that yesterday, my father had a heart attack and passed away - at 53.
Granted, I've seen my father for a total of like 6 days at most in the last 16 years, but he never really turned his back on me - he was understanding when I came out of the closet, he's congratulated me every time that I told him that I thought I was happy because I was in a relationship, he's been there for me whenever I was truly in need...and now he's gone.
All the times that I should've just emailed him to say I love him...all the times that I should have just said hello...all the times that I said, "Oh, well...tomorrow, I'll email him because we haven't talked in awhile..." and now he's gone forever. I'm angry, I'm bitter, I'm heart-broken...and despite this, I'm the executor of his estate, I'm the eldest child so I have to be strong...I've had my bout of crying, I've had my shouting and screaming at the world, and those 15 minutes will have to do, because I have to be an adult, even if in private I don't want to be - I just want to curl up and cry my heart out...every bad thought, every misspoken word, every unspoken word now haunts me.
I've been offline for a few weeks now for personal reasons, and I will probably continue to be offline for a little while longer while I get things sorted out, both in action and in my head.
Take care of yourselves, everyone, and remember - and I now speak from experience here - do not put off speaking your heart 'til tomorrow, because tomorrow could be stolen away.
Dasvidanya.
The Extremely Stormy One.
Granted, I've seen my father for a total of like 6 days at most in the last 16 years, but he never really turned his back on me - he was understanding when I came out of the closet, he's congratulated me every time that I told him that I thought I was happy because I was in a relationship, he's been there for me whenever I was truly in need...and now he's gone.
All the times that I should've just emailed him to say I love him...all the times that I should have just said hello...all the times that I said, "Oh, well...tomorrow, I'll email him because we haven't talked in awhile..." and now he's gone forever. I'm angry, I'm bitter, I'm heart-broken...and despite this, I'm the executor of his estate, I'm the eldest child so I have to be strong...I've had my bout of crying, I've had my shouting and screaming at the world, and those 15 minutes will have to do, because I have to be an adult, even if in private I don't want to be - I just want to curl up and cry my heart out...every bad thought, every misspoken word, every unspoken word now haunts me.
I've been offline for a few weeks now for personal reasons, and I will probably continue to be offline for a little while longer while I get things sorted out, both in action and in my head.
Take care of yourselves, everyone, and remember - and I now speak from experience here - do not put off speaking your heart 'til tomorrow, because tomorrow could be stolen away.
Dasvidanya.
The Extremely Stormy One.