Of Staplers, Paperclips, and Love.
Title: Of Staplers, Paperclips, and Love.
Part: 2/?
Pairings: Eventually- Fernando Torres/ Sergio Ramos, Cesc Fabregas/ Gerard Pique, Steven Gerrard/ Xabi Alonso, ???/???, various other characters will be present.
Rating: PG -13
Disclaimer: Lies. Lies. Lies.
Warning: Cursing, and as the story goes the rating will get higher.
Summary: They sell sporting equipment in a overly cramped office with mediocre pay and annoying co-workers to deal with. Some would say their lives and jobs are boring. Others would beg to differ. AU
Word Count: 2,056
Part One
Author’s Notes:
1.)Their company is called the way it is because I’m unoriginal and I honestly couldn’t think of anything better than that.
2.) As you may have already seen, this can be pretty cracky, so I’m just warning you off that.
3.) I write Pique’s name as Gerard in here, and it feels a little unnatural for some reason because I always refer to him as Pique, so if that bothers some of you let me know and I’ll start writing it as Pique or whatever you want (Geri for example?)
4.) Vincente del Bosque is inspired by Stanley Hudson and they are my spirit animals.
Pepe had just come back from a business trip in Spain, announcing his arrival with a loud “HOLA!” to the office, as he plopped down a small bag on the first chair by the reception desk.
“Hey Pepe, how was Spain?” Fernando inquired.
“It was amazing, hombre,” he answered enthusiastically. “Food was delicious, the people were great, ah, it was fantastic.”
“How were the babes?” questioned David Villa with a sly move of his eyebrows.
“They really like foreigners, I’ll tell you that much,” Pepe answered with a grin.
“Getting some from Spanish chicks, up top!” David had made his way over to Pepe and was now offering his hand up for a high-five.
Pepe slapped it (not as enthusiastically as Villa had hoped he would) and said “A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell, David.”
“More like fu-“ David exclaimed before he was interrupted by a loud throat clearing.
“That’s highly inappropriate David,” Iker said with a glare at the salesman.
David shrugged and looked back to Pepe. “So, what do you have for us?”
Pepe unzipped his bag and brought out a variety of treats from Spain to indulge his co-workers with.
“I have some pictures too, if anyone wants to see them later,” he added.
The office murmured in agreement and went back to their work.
“What’s the deal with Iker?” Bojan, the intern that was hired just a couple weeks ago asked David when he sat down.
“You’re gonna have to be more specific kid,” David said, looking away from his computer.
“I don’t know. Like, what’s up his ass?”
David chuckled. “More like what isn’t.”
When Bojan didn’t laugh or smile, David set his face back into seriousness. “I don’t know his life,” he said condescendingly.
*
Steven Gerrard was cursing management in his head for the 20th time that week for having a stupid nook in the back of the office.
Who wants to sit in the back of the office anyway? Far away from everyone so he never knew what was going on and he absolutely hated it.
He hated the fact that it was (he looked at his watch) 11:30 in the morning, and only a minute ago did he find out that Pepe was back from his business trip in Spain, when the entire office (aside from himself and Jesus Navas, who also sat in the nook) knew since 9.
He hurried over to the main part of the office and tried to act nonchalant when he saw Pepe.
“Hey man, nice to see you’re back from Spain,” he offered in a greeting.
“Yeah, yeah it’s nice to be back,” Pepe replied.
“So, uh yeah, what was it like?”
“Good, good. I’ve got some pictures, if you want to see,” Pepe offered, taking out a stack of photographs.
Steven’s heart leapt up in hope maybe just maybe, he thought.
“Let’s go over there,” Pepe motioned to the two always empty plush chairs by reception.
Steven had to duck out of the way of a flying candy that Pepe had brought back from Spain.
“Watch it!” he shouted, as he followed the trail of the candy and saw it just nearly miss Fernando’s mouth.
“Hey! Sergio, I bought those for the entire office, not so you and Fernando could play ‘catch the jolly rancher'," Pepe scolded playfully.
Sergio put down the handful of suckers he had but as soon as Pepe turned around he unwrapped one quickly and shot it towards Fernando's mouth.
"AND HE SCORES!" Sergio jumped out of his desk with his hands in the air, doing a victory lap around the connecting tables. He grabbed the remaining unopened candies from his desk and dumped them all back in the bowl on top of Fernando's counter.
"These are good Pepe," Fernando said as he sucked on the one Sergio managed to get in his mouth.
"Yeah, you guys enjoy yourselves," Pepe chuckled.
"So how about those pictures?" Steven asked as him and Pepe sat down.
Pepe started flipping through his stack, pointing out various people and places, what it was like here and there.
"Did you learn any Spanish?" Steven queried.
"Nah," Pepe waved his hand. "I was only there for two weeks, didn't pick up on it much."
Pepe continued flipping through the pictures until he got to ones they'd already seen before.
"Guess that's it then," Pepe said.
"Oh, no more, eh?" Steven sounded --what was it, Pepe couldn't put his finger on. Disappointed? No, that couldn't possibly be it.
"Were you hoping for more?" Pepe asked curiously.
"No, 'course not, these are all great," Steven backtracked.
"Do you wanna know anything else about Spain?" Pepe offered.
"Nope," Steven said too quickly.
"Okay. Well, it was nice catching up Stevie," Pepe said as he stood up.
Pepe made his way to the kitchen to get himself a snack and Steven followed him.
"Oh, uh, hey, Pepe," Steven stammered while Pepe searched through the fridge.
"DidyourunintoanybodyyouknowinSpain?" he blurted out, quickly running a hand through his hair out of the need to do something to ease the embarrassment.
"Not really..." Pepe said, still looking for something to eat and not having noticed how hard it was for Steven to ask that question.
"Why?" he asked, finally having picked out some Chinese food.
"You know, just Xabi transferred there last year and iwasthinkingyoumighthaverunintohim."
"Oh yeah! Xabi! Forgot all about him! Nah, didn't have the chance to see him, I think he works at a different part of the building I was in. Would have been nice to see him though, now that you mention it," Pepe frowned.
"Oh," Steven said with a quick nod of the head. "Yeah, okay," he said in a rush. "Was just wondering."
Pepe gave him a look of curiosity but didn't press the subject.
*
Vincente del Bosque was one customer service report from falling asleep on his keyboard. His eyes were drooping and the warmth of the office wasn’t helping.
Pepe snapped his fingers at him. “Wake up man,” he said.
Del Bosque blinked slowly at him, unamused.
Pepe glared back at him, unwilling to break the undeclared staring contest they had just entered.
The sound of del Bosque’s phone brought it to a halt, as Vincente reached to answer.
“Oh, I’m sorry sir,” Pepe could hear del Bosque talking to an angry customer on the other end of the line.
“Your son did what?” he asked in disbelief.
“We really can’t be held accountable,” he continued.
“Of course sir, hold on one moment,” del Bosque let out a huge sigh before getting up and listlessly walking to Gerard’s office.
“He did what now?” Gerard asked del Bosque before sitting down to take Vincente’s phone.
“Gerard Pique, manager of Waka Waka Incorporated, how can I be of assistance today?” he asked the customer.
Gerard nodded to himself and tried to cut into what seemed to be a rant on the other end of the line but he couldn’t get a word out.
“Didn’t you try--?” he attempts, before he’s cut off again.
“I see. Well then, I guess give me your address and I’ll see what I can do,” Gerard said, quickly taking a piece of del Bosque’s paper and scribbling something down on it.
“Alright, see you soon,” he added.
Gerard sighed and rubbed his eyes in exhaustion.
“People are so. Stupid,” he said, not to anybody in specific.
“What happened?” Pepe questioned.
“Some kid somehow managed to get stuck in one of our nets, and the father thinks we’re to blame,” he explained.
“What?” Pepe made an amused scream.
“Yeah.”
“Seriously?”
“Uh huh.”
“Did they try calling the police…?” Pepe asked, thinking it was the most logical solution to that sort of situation if you couldn’t get the kid out yourself.
“He said the police laughed,” Gerard said. “I don’t blame them. He said that they said they needed to sort it out themselves, and apparently for some reason they can’t, and he thinks that we can help, even though we don’t make any of the equipment so we know just as much about it as he does.”
“Who are you gonna send?”
“He asked specifically for me,” Gerard huffed. “But I supposed I can bring someone along so I won’t have to deal with him myself.”
“I wonder who it’s going to be,” Pepe said sarcastically under his breath and smiled when he heard Gerard ask Cesc to accompany him.
“Haha, what?” Cesc laughed. “Sure I’ll go!” he sounded way too eager and his voice rang out through the office.
Before leaving with Cesc, Gerard made it a point to tell the whole office what happened, and they laughed along with the ridiculousness of the story.
“Now that’s something I want to see,” said David Villa.
“I don’t even understand how he got stuck in there,” Sergio wondered.
“I wonder how long he’s been waiting,” Fernando added.
Meanwhile, Gerard was stifling his giggles as he was making his way out with Cesc.
“Yeah, he’s probably in there pretty tight,” concluded Pepe.
“THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!” yelled Gerard as he opened the door out, and both his and Cesc’s laughter could be heard from the hall.
*
When they arrived at the scene, Gerard had to nudge Cesc lightly in the gut to keep him from bursting out laughing.
Gerard shook hands with what he presumed to be the boy’s father, and Cesc did the same.
They followed the man through the house and into the enormous backyard, where they could barely make out someone lazily writhing in the net.
“Finally!” the boy shouted when he saw them.
“Can I ask how this happened?” Cesc said, amused.
“Me and my friend were playing soccer and I was the goalie, and when I went to block the ball I fell back and got tangled up and then got stuck,” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Uh huh…” Gerard chuckled.
“Are you going to get me out of here or what?” the boy demanded.
After about 10 minutes of them playing Gerard and Cesc vs THE NET, (the net winning), they managed to get the boy out of the entangled web.
However.
“Uhm, Gerard, can you help me out here?” called Cesc as the boy stretched and dusted himself off, running into the house with no thank you to either of them.
The father looked over at the two of them and scoffed. “You can find your way out the backdoor through there,” he pointed. “I’ve got to go inside.”
With that he left, leaving Gerard and Cesc alone.
“Jackass,” Gerard muttered under his breath.
“C’mon, Cesc, let’s go. We might be able to beat the 5 o’clock traffic.”
“Uhm,” was Cesc’s reply.
“What?” Gerard turned around.
He let out a holler of laughter.
“You’re stuck!” he said, bouncing up and down gleefully and pointing his finger at Cesc.
“Shut up and help me out of here,” Cesc complained, trying to wiggle free his trapped foot.
Gerard walked over to him and started unraveling the knots.
“How in the hell Cesc…”
“It’s easier than it looks to get caught in it,” Cesc mumbled, slightly embarrassed.
Cesc didn’t notice when Gerard had untangled him, so the loss of the net for balance sent him falling into his boss’s arms.
“Woah there!” Gerard caught him and smiled. “Nice balancing skills Cesc.”
Cesc laughed awkwardly and bowed his head down, still in a sort of embrace with Gerard.
He looked up and they locked eyes, Gerard smiling at him and neither one wavering.
It was Cesc who moved first, his cheeks now a crimson red, and he fumbled his way out of Gerard’s grasp.
“Sorry about that,” Cesc apologized.
“You can fall into my arms anytime,” Gerard said with a flirty wink.
Oh god did I really just say that, he thought.
Oh god is that cheesy line really endearing to me, Cesc thought.
They awkwardly stood apart from each other, Cesc now on his own two feet.
“So, we should probably head out,” Cesc suggested.
“Yeah,” Gerard said. “So, how about that donut date? We can go right now if you want,” he added, smirking.
“O-Okay,” Cesc tried to make the response seem casual and not at all girly.
“Let’s go,” he added, beaming.
Part: 2/?
Pairings: Eventually- Fernando Torres/ Sergio Ramos, Cesc Fabregas/ Gerard Pique, Steven Gerrard/ Xabi Alonso, ???/???, various other characters will be present.
Rating: PG -13
Disclaimer: Lies. Lies. Lies.
Warning: Cursing, and as the story goes the rating will get higher.
Summary: They sell sporting equipment in a overly cramped office with mediocre pay and annoying co-workers to deal with. Some would say their lives and jobs are boring. Others would beg to differ. AU
Word Count: 2,056
Part One
Author’s Notes:
1.)Their company is called the way it is because I’m unoriginal and I honestly couldn’t think of anything better than that.
2.) As you may have already seen, this can be pretty cracky, so I’m just warning you off that.
3.) I write Pique’s name as Gerard in here, and it feels a little unnatural for some reason because I always refer to him as Pique, so if that bothers some of you let me know and I’ll start writing it as Pique or whatever you want (Geri for example?)
4.) Vincente del Bosque is inspired by Stanley Hudson and they are my spirit animals.
Pepe had just come back from a business trip in Spain, announcing his arrival with a loud “HOLA!” to the office, as he plopped down a small bag on the first chair by the reception desk.
“Hey Pepe, how was Spain?” Fernando inquired.
“It was amazing, hombre,” he answered enthusiastically. “Food was delicious, the people were great, ah, it was fantastic.”
“How were the babes?” questioned David Villa with a sly move of his eyebrows.
“They really like foreigners, I’ll tell you that much,” Pepe answered with a grin.
“Getting some from Spanish chicks, up top!” David had made his way over to Pepe and was now offering his hand up for a high-five.
Pepe slapped it (not as enthusiastically as Villa had hoped he would) and said “A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell, David.”
“More like fu-“ David exclaimed before he was interrupted by a loud throat clearing.
“That’s highly inappropriate David,” Iker said with a glare at the salesman.
David shrugged and looked back to Pepe. “So, what do you have for us?”
Pepe unzipped his bag and brought out a variety of treats from Spain to indulge his co-workers with.
“I have some pictures too, if anyone wants to see them later,” he added.
The office murmured in agreement and went back to their work.
“What’s the deal with Iker?” Bojan, the intern that was hired just a couple weeks ago asked David when he sat down.
“You’re gonna have to be more specific kid,” David said, looking away from his computer.
“I don’t know. Like, what’s up his ass?”
David chuckled. “More like what isn’t.”
When Bojan didn’t laugh or smile, David set his face back into seriousness. “I don’t know his life,” he said condescendingly.
*
Steven Gerrard was cursing management in his head for the 20th time that week for having a stupid nook in the back of the office.
Who wants to sit in the back of the office anyway? Far away from everyone so he never knew what was going on and he absolutely hated it.
He hated the fact that it was (he looked at his watch) 11:30 in the morning, and only a minute ago did he find out that Pepe was back from his business trip in Spain, when the entire office (aside from himself and Jesus Navas, who also sat in the nook) knew since 9.
He hurried over to the main part of the office and tried to act nonchalant when he saw Pepe.
“Hey man, nice to see you’re back from Spain,” he offered in a greeting.
“Yeah, yeah it’s nice to be back,” Pepe replied.
“So, uh yeah, what was it like?”
“Good, good. I’ve got some pictures, if you want to see,” Pepe offered, taking out a stack of photographs.
Steven’s heart leapt up in hope maybe just maybe, he thought.
“Let’s go over there,” Pepe motioned to the two always empty plush chairs by reception.
Steven had to duck out of the way of a flying candy that Pepe had brought back from Spain.
“Watch it!” he shouted, as he followed the trail of the candy and saw it just nearly miss Fernando’s mouth.
“Hey! Sergio, I bought those for the entire office, not so you and Fernando could play ‘catch the jolly rancher'," Pepe scolded playfully.
Sergio put down the handful of suckers he had but as soon as Pepe turned around he unwrapped one quickly and shot it towards Fernando's mouth.
"AND HE SCORES!" Sergio jumped out of his desk with his hands in the air, doing a victory lap around the connecting tables. He grabbed the remaining unopened candies from his desk and dumped them all back in the bowl on top of Fernando's counter.
"These are good Pepe," Fernando said as he sucked on the one Sergio managed to get in his mouth.
"Yeah, you guys enjoy yourselves," Pepe chuckled.
"So how about those pictures?" Steven asked as him and Pepe sat down.
Pepe started flipping through his stack, pointing out various people and places, what it was like here and there.
"Did you learn any Spanish?" Steven queried.
"Nah," Pepe waved his hand. "I was only there for two weeks, didn't pick up on it much."
Pepe continued flipping through the pictures until he got to ones they'd already seen before.
"Guess that's it then," Pepe said.
"Oh, no more, eh?" Steven sounded --what was it, Pepe couldn't put his finger on. Disappointed? No, that couldn't possibly be it.
"Were you hoping for more?" Pepe asked curiously.
"No, 'course not, these are all great," Steven backtracked.
"Do you wanna know anything else about Spain?" Pepe offered.
"Nope," Steven said too quickly.
"Okay. Well, it was nice catching up Stevie," Pepe said as he stood up.
Pepe made his way to the kitchen to get himself a snack and Steven followed him.
"Oh, uh, hey, Pepe," Steven stammered while Pepe searched through the fridge.
"DidyourunintoanybodyyouknowinSpain?" he blurted out, quickly running a hand through his hair out of the need to do something to ease the embarrassment.
"Not really..." Pepe said, still looking for something to eat and not having noticed how hard it was for Steven to ask that question.
"Why?" he asked, finally having picked out some Chinese food.
"You know, just Xabi transferred there last year and iwasthinkingyoumighthaverunintohim."
"Oh yeah! Xabi! Forgot all about him! Nah, didn't have the chance to see him, I think he works at a different part of the building I was in. Would have been nice to see him though, now that you mention it," Pepe frowned.
"Oh," Steven said with a quick nod of the head. "Yeah, okay," he said in a rush. "Was just wondering."
Pepe gave him a look of curiosity but didn't press the subject.
*
Vincente del Bosque was one customer service report from falling asleep on his keyboard. His eyes were drooping and the warmth of the office wasn’t helping.
Pepe snapped his fingers at him. “Wake up man,” he said.
Del Bosque blinked slowly at him, unamused.
Pepe glared back at him, unwilling to break the undeclared staring contest they had just entered.
The sound of del Bosque’s phone brought it to a halt, as Vincente reached to answer.
“Oh, I’m sorry sir,” Pepe could hear del Bosque talking to an angry customer on the other end of the line.
“Your son did what?” he asked in disbelief.
“We really can’t be held accountable,” he continued.
“Of course sir, hold on one moment,” del Bosque let out a huge sigh before getting up and listlessly walking to Gerard’s office.
“He did what now?” Gerard asked del Bosque before sitting down to take Vincente’s phone.
“Gerard Pique, manager of Waka Waka Incorporated, how can I be of assistance today?” he asked the customer.
Gerard nodded to himself and tried to cut into what seemed to be a rant on the other end of the line but he couldn’t get a word out.
“Didn’t you try--?” he attempts, before he’s cut off again.
“I see. Well then, I guess give me your address and I’ll see what I can do,” Gerard said, quickly taking a piece of del Bosque’s paper and scribbling something down on it.
“Alright, see you soon,” he added.
Gerard sighed and rubbed his eyes in exhaustion.
“People are so. Stupid,” he said, not to anybody in specific.
“What happened?” Pepe questioned.
“Some kid somehow managed to get stuck in one of our nets, and the father thinks we’re to blame,” he explained.
“What?” Pepe made an amused scream.
“Yeah.”
“Seriously?”
“Uh huh.”
“Did they try calling the police…?” Pepe asked, thinking it was the most logical solution to that sort of situation if you couldn’t get the kid out yourself.
“He said the police laughed,” Gerard said. “I don’t blame them. He said that they said they needed to sort it out themselves, and apparently for some reason they can’t, and he thinks that we can help, even though we don’t make any of the equipment so we know just as much about it as he does.”
“Who are you gonna send?”
“He asked specifically for me,” Gerard huffed. “But I supposed I can bring someone along so I won’t have to deal with him myself.”
“I wonder who it’s going to be,” Pepe said sarcastically under his breath and smiled when he heard Gerard ask Cesc to accompany him.
“Haha, what?” Cesc laughed. “Sure I’ll go!” he sounded way too eager and his voice rang out through the office.
Before leaving with Cesc, Gerard made it a point to tell the whole office what happened, and they laughed along with the ridiculousness of the story.
“Now that’s something I want to see,” said David Villa.
“I don’t even understand how he got stuck in there,” Sergio wondered.
“I wonder how long he’s been waiting,” Fernando added.
Meanwhile, Gerard was stifling his giggles as he was making his way out with Cesc.
“Yeah, he’s probably in there pretty tight,” concluded Pepe.
“THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!” yelled Gerard as he opened the door out, and both his and Cesc’s laughter could be heard from the hall.
*
When they arrived at the scene, Gerard had to nudge Cesc lightly in the gut to keep him from bursting out laughing.
Gerard shook hands with what he presumed to be the boy’s father, and Cesc did the same.
They followed the man through the house and into the enormous backyard, where they could barely make out someone lazily writhing in the net.
“Finally!” the boy shouted when he saw them.
“Can I ask how this happened?” Cesc said, amused.
“Me and my friend were playing soccer and I was the goalie, and when I went to block the ball I fell back and got tangled up and then got stuck,” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Uh huh…” Gerard chuckled.
“Are you going to get me out of here or what?” the boy demanded.
After about 10 minutes of them playing Gerard and Cesc vs THE NET, (the net winning), they managed to get the boy out of the entangled web.
However.
“Uhm, Gerard, can you help me out here?” called Cesc as the boy stretched and dusted himself off, running into the house with no thank you to either of them.
The father looked over at the two of them and scoffed. “You can find your way out the backdoor through there,” he pointed. “I’ve got to go inside.”
With that he left, leaving Gerard and Cesc alone.
“Jackass,” Gerard muttered under his breath.
“C’mon, Cesc, let’s go. We might be able to beat the 5 o’clock traffic.”
“Uhm,” was Cesc’s reply.
“What?” Gerard turned around.
He let out a holler of laughter.
“You’re stuck!” he said, bouncing up and down gleefully and pointing his finger at Cesc.
“Shut up and help me out of here,” Cesc complained, trying to wiggle free his trapped foot.
Gerard walked over to him and started unraveling the knots.
“How in the hell Cesc…”
“It’s easier than it looks to get caught in it,” Cesc mumbled, slightly embarrassed.
Cesc didn’t notice when Gerard had untangled him, so the loss of the net for balance sent him falling into his boss’s arms.
“Woah there!” Gerard caught him and smiled. “Nice balancing skills Cesc.”
Cesc laughed awkwardly and bowed his head down, still in a sort of embrace with Gerard.
He looked up and they locked eyes, Gerard smiling at him and neither one wavering.
It was Cesc who moved first, his cheeks now a crimson red, and he fumbled his way out of Gerard’s grasp.
“Sorry about that,” Cesc apologized.
“You can fall into my arms anytime,” Gerard said with a flirty wink.
Oh god did I really just say that, he thought.
Oh god is that cheesy line really endearing to me, Cesc thought.
They awkwardly stood apart from each other, Cesc now on his own two feet.
“So, we should probably head out,” Cesc suggested.
“Yeah,” Gerard said. “So, how about that donut date? We can go right now if you want,” he added, smirking.
“O-Okay,” Cesc tried to make the response seem casual and not at all girly.
“Let’s go,” he added, beaming.