(no subject)
Character: Godot
Series: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (Trials and Tribulations)
Age: 33
Job: Camp Barista
Canon: A mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in something that looks suspiciously like a toaster, Godot is the big question mark of the the third game in the Phoenix Wright series. He is first introduced as the mysterious lawyer whose equal cannot be found in the entire country! A man so impressive that others wait entire lifetimes to merely bask in his glorious presence! The great masked prosecutor who has never lost a single case in his entire career! ...What they neglect to mention, of course, is that he's never won a case, either. In fact, he's never prosecuted before at all. But that doesn't stop him from being incredibly smug and referring to himself as "legendary."
A bit of a hot-shot with an unrivaled love of coffee (he makes his own blends and is known to drink up to 17 cups of the stuff per trial day) and a fierce grudge against Phoenix Wright (or Phoenix Trite, as he calls him), Godot shows up out of nowhere with a huge chip on his shoulder and a patronizing attitude towards everyone, including the presiding judge. He has the tendency to speak in bizarre and obscure metaphors and has his own set of personal rules he loudly proclaims whenever relevant. With all his arrogance, it probably isn't surprising that Godot is a bit condescending when it comes to women. Sure, he does love the ladies, but he often talks down to them and gives them cutesy nicknames, his favourite of all being "Kitten"--although to be fair, he did call Edgeworth that once.
Sample Post:
Ha...! Who could have predicted that it would end up like this? It seems that the man who has emerged from the very depths of Hell and spat in the face of Fate herself has been unceremoniously tossed back, like a fish not big enough to fry. Is this a punishment for treating the fickle mistress Fate like a cheap streetwalker? If so, then it's my mistake, and real men will always stand up and take their punishments, whether they be cruel, unusual, or some unholy combination of both those things! From legendary prosecutor to coffee boy... now like an intern scurrying about the office, like so many ants swarming over their beloved sugar: This is now my place. But a real man doesn't balk from a challenge; a real man will walk the path that life has given to him, whether it's to the courtroom or back into the flames of Hell. I will do this because it's the hand fate has dealt me! Oh yes, I will do as that lovely fawn of a Director says, I will... make your coffee.
Give a poor man an expensive delicacy and he will not enjoy it because he's so used to bread. So what's the point in wasting the strongest of my Godot blends on people used to a few dregs mixed in with hot water! The infamous special blend #107 would be way too much for you to take. Instead, I'll be offering all the old, watered-down favorites; packed full of flavor, but also packed full of artificial happiness. For the lovely lady in line to the left, here: have the Irish Cream. Due to the lack of alcohol, the flavor is artificial, but it will go well with the green fuzz that's growing up your arm! To the fine and friendly girl on my right, try the French Vanilla. Something about the state of your body hair tells me you'll enjoy it. And you with the two heads, why not try a double-double, amigo? Finally, we come to the gentleman with the monocle and the top hat... well, real men don't drink tea, and I'm not about to cater to that sort of order!
And now we come to the exciting finale...! The newest flavor to hit Camp Fuck You Die, straight from my mind to your cup, hot as fire and smooth as silk. I call it "Mistle Mocha (Godot Blend #169)," and it's sure to warm you up this holiday season. Come on now, amigos, take a free sample. The coffee isn't going to bite back, strong as it may be! It's made with the finest extract of camp's favorite weed--bitter, yet enchanting, with an aroma that none can resist.
Ha...! Seems I've whipped these ladies into a frenzy. Sorry to disappoint, my filth-encrusted kittens, but I like my women how I like my coffee. No decaying flesh, that's one of my rules!
--
Voting went here.
Series: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (Trials and Tribulations)
Age: 33
Job: Camp Barista
Canon: A mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in something that looks suspiciously like a toaster, Godot is the big question mark of the the third game in the Phoenix Wright series. He is first introduced as the mysterious lawyer whose equal cannot be found in the entire country! A man so impressive that others wait entire lifetimes to merely bask in his glorious presence! The great masked prosecutor who has never lost a single case in his entire career! ...What they neglect to mention, of course, is that he's never won a case, either. In fact, he's never prosecuted before at all. But that doesn't stop him from being incredibly smug and referring to himself as "legendary."
A bit of a hot-shot with an unrivaled love of coffee (he makes his own blends and is known to drink up to 17 cups of the stuff per trial day) and a fierce grudge against Phoenix Wright (or Phoenix Trite, as he calls him), Godot shows up out of nowhere with a huge chip on his shoulder and a patronizing attitude towards everyone, including the presiding judge. He has the tendency to speak in bizarre and obscure metaphors and has his own set of personal rules he loudly proclaims whenever relevant. With all his arrogance, it probably isn't surprising that Godot is a bit condescending when it comes to women. Sure, he does love the ladies, but he often talks down to them and gives them cutesy nicknames, his favourite of all being "Kitten"--although to be fair, he did call Edgeworth that once.
Sample Post:
Ha...! Who could have predicted that it would end up like this? It seems that the man who has emerged from the very depths of Hell and spat in the face of Fate herself has been unceremoniously tossed back, like a fish not big enough to fry. Is this a punishment for treating the fickle mistress Fate like a cheap streetwalker? If so, then it's my mistake, and real men will always stand up and take their punishments, whether they be cruel, unusual, or some unholy combination of both those things! From legendary prosecutor to coffee boy... now like an intern scurrying about the office, like so many ants swarming over their beloved sugar: This is now my place. But a real man doesn't balk from a challenge; a real man will walk the path that life has given to him, whether it's to the courtroom or back into the flames of Hell. I will do this because it's the hand fate has dealt me! Oh yes, I will do as that lovely fawn of a Director says, I will... make your coffee.
Give a poor man an expensive delicacy and he will not enjoy it because he's so used to bread. So what's the point in wasting the strongest of my Godot blends on people used to a few dregs mixed in with hot water! The infamous special blend #107 would be way too much for you to take. Instead, I'll be offering all the old, watered-down favorites; packed full of flavor, but also packed full of artificial happiness. For the lovely lady in line to the left, here: have the Irish Cream. Due to the lack of alcohol, the flavor is artificial, but it will go well with the green fuzz that's growing up your arm! To the fine and friendly girl on my right, try the French Vanilla. Something about the state of your body hair tells me you'll enjoy it. And you with the two heads, why not try a double-double, amigo? Finally, we come to the gentleman with the monocle and the top hat... well, real men don't drink tea, and I'm not about to cater to that sort of order!
And now we come to the exciting finale...! The newest flavor to hit Camp Fuck You Die, straight from my mind to your cup, hot as fire and smooth as silk. I call it "Mistle Mocha (Godot Blend #169)," and it's sure to warm you up this holiday season. Come on now, amigos, take a free sample. The coffee isn't going to bite back, strong as it may be! It's made with the finest extract of camp's favorite weed--bitter, yet enchanting, with an aroma that none can resist.
Ha...! Seems I've whipped these ladies into a frenzy. Sorry to disappoint, my filth-encrusted kittens, but I like my women how I like my coffee. No decaying flesh, that's one of my rules!
--
Voting went here.