...
yeah.. about updating.. no motivation at all.. NONE..
Lately i been feeling like major crap. in more ways than one..
health wise.. i feel really acky.. n sick. whats new??
-inside.. i feel like crap.
-i just feel so.... soo.. empty.
-im so confused about stuff.. just.. everything.
-NOTHING makes sense to me anymore.. i dont get why i feel like i do. i dont get why ppl act like they do. i just.. i dont get it..
-im really far behind in school. mainly in.. ENGLISH. meh. i'll never catch up..
ive been so upsett lately.. ppl have been .. well.. ive been let down alot lately. n it just.. it hurts me alot.
im so afraid to love anyone again. im emotionally not ok. n i wish it didnt have to be like that. but ive done n tryed everything i could .. n i just.. either cant follow through with it.. or i just.. cant do it at all.
i know this is all my own fault. but.. i just. i cant help it. n i just.. so bad wish i could find a way out of it all...
uhm so backtracking i guess...
went to rock n bowl friday night..
total drama. n .. i duno. not like i was hopen or expecting it to turn out.. it got better though. as the night went on.. n nykkie came back. until we were gettin ready to leave.. n chad pulls me off to the side.. n said some things n told me some things.. that hurt me ALOT.. n upsett me really bad.. n i didnt know what to do/say.. nothing. i just.. went home.. n cryed. i know how katelyn feels/felt. i know how bad it hurts. no one deserves to feel that way. n thats what hurt me so bad.. but in another sense.. why should i have to feel sorry for her? .. its nothing I did. and i had to go through it with no one feeling sorry for me.. as does so many other ppl. its .. the way of life anymore.. n it just sucks. plain and simple.
i duno what imma do. im with chase. n its like.. SOOOOO hard for me to just.. let myself.. go. n to love anyone. im not sure if its cuz. i dont want to. im not ready. im scared. im still hurt. im not sure. i wish i knew.. but i dont.
Im i still in love with HIM? .. do i still miss him?? i just.. i dont know. i think i got over him? i wanted to. i thought i did? .. but did i?
i know its not right what im doing. its not fair. to chase. me . or anyone... but.. i just.. i really just cant help it. at all. im so afraid of being let down hurt n pushed away again. maybe even used. i duno. its just.. its so hard for me to be able to trust ppl anymore. cuz the ppl iwant to or wanted to. nt hought i could.. just.. broke my heart so bad. n its happend more than once.. n i know it'll happen again.. so whats the point in lettin myself.. why set myself up for it again??
i thinki want to..
i thinkim just.. afraid...
i think.. i just.. i dont know.
im .. at a loss for words right now i guess...
later.
-me
"you say good-bye like everythings alright.."
Good morning day
Sorry im not there
But all my favorite friends vanished in the air
It's hard to fly when you cant even run
Once I had the world and now I've got no one
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to hold me down
I would change my direction and save myself before I
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to push me around
I would change my direction and save myself before I
Drown
Drown
Good morning day
Sorry your not here
But all those times before, your never this unclear
Its hard to walk when you cant even crawl
Once I had this world, now I've lost it all
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to hold me down
I would change my direction and save myself before I-
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to push me around
I would change my direction, and save myself before I-
Drown (rolling faster then im breathing)
Drown (rolling faster then im breathing)
Drown (rolling faster then im breathing)
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to hold me down
I would change my direction and save myself before I-
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to push me around
I would change my direction before I-
Lately i been feeling like major crap. in more ways than one..
health wise.. i feel really acky.. n sick. whats new??
-inside.. i feel like crap.
-i just feel so.... soo.. empty.
-im so confused about stuff.. just.. everything.
-NOTHING makes sense to me anymore.. i dont get why i feel like i do. i dont get why ppl act like they do. i just.. i dont get it..
-im really far behind in school. mainly in.. ENGLISH. meh. i'll never catch up..
ive been so upsett lately.. ppl have been .. well.. ive been let down alot lately. n it just.. it hurts me alot.
im so afraid to love anyone again. im emotionally not ok. n i wish it didnt have to be like that. but ive done n tryed everything i could .. n i just.. either cant follow through with it.. or i just.. cant do it at all.
i know this is all my own fault. but.. i just. i cant help it. n i just.. so bad wish i could find a way out of it all...
uhm so backtracking i guess...
went to rock n bowl friday night..
total drama. n .. i duno. not like i was hopen or expecting it to turn out.. it got better though. as the night went on.. n nykkie came back. until we were gettin ready to leave.. n chad pulls me off to the side.. n said some things n told me some things.. that hurt me ALOT.. n upsett me really bad.. n i didnt know what to do/say.. nothing. i just.. went home.. n cryed. i know how katelyn feels/felt. i know how bad it hurts. no one deserves to feel that way. n thats what hurt me so bad.. but in another sense.. why should i have to feel sorry for her? .. its nothing I did. and i had to go through it with no one feeling sorry for me.. as does so many other ppl. its .. the way of life anymore.. n it just sucks. plain and simple.
i duno what imma do. im with chase. n its like.. SOOOOO hard for me to just.. let myself.. go. n to love anyone. im not sure if its cuz. i dont want to. im not ready. im scared. im still hurt. im not sure. i wish i knew.. but i dont.
Im i still in love with HIM? .. do i still miss him?? i just.. i dont know. i think i got over him? i wanted to. i thought i did? .. but did i?
i know its not right what im doing. its not fair. to chase. me . or anyone... but.. i just.. i really just cant help it. at all. im so afraid of being let down hurt n pushed away again. maybe even used. i duno. its just.. its so hard for me to be able to trust ppl anymore. cuz the ppl iwant to or wanted to. nt hought i could.. just.. broke my heart so bad. n its happend more than once.. n i know it'll happen again.. so whats the point in lettin myself.. why set myself up for it again??
i thinki want to..
i thinkim just.. afraid...
i think.. i just.. i dont know.
im .. at a loss for words right now i guess...
later.
-me
"you say good-bye like everythings alright.."
Good morning day
Sorry im not there
But all my favorite friends vanished in the air
It's hard to fly when you cant even run
Once I had the world and now I've got no one
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to hold me down
I would change my direction and save myself before I
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to push me around
I would change my direction and save myself before I
Drown
Drown
Good morning day
Sorry your not here
But all those times before, your never this unclear
Its hard to walk when you cant even crawl
Once I had this world, now I've lost it all
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to hold me down
I would change my direction and save myself before I-
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to push me around
I would change my direction, and save myself before I-
Drown (rolling faster then im breathing)
Drown (rolling faster then im breathing)
Drown (rolling faster then im breathing)
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to hold me down
I would change my direction and save myself before I-
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to push me around
I would change my direction before I-