i dont wanna talk about it. i just wanna sit n cry in front of you. i dont wanna talk about it..
it started out ok. normal school day i guess.. i was still in alot of pain.. but it was expected. i wrote travis a note. gave it to miranda .. n she said shed give it to him 6th hour. hope she did.
n well.. in all reality
TODAY SUCKED! yeah.. emotionally today. .i cried so much. 5th period on just really went down hill. n then i found out things.. i didnt know. n it hurt me so bad.. n it brought back my past... which VERY few know of. n im afraid im headed straight down that road again. n im not fighting it anymore. i have no one to confide in right now. no one i can really just sit n sob n tell shit to. ive been so down lately.. n today i just hit rock bottom. it seems as everything that was going good for me.. has ended.. n everything just took a turn for the worst. i just wanna be alone.. where no one can talk to me or hurt me. i need to be alone. im goin to my room now. n just.. ugh write some shit.. cry.. u know.. the usual. i ... i just cant take all this crap anymore. ireally cant. i cant take ppl being asses to me. i cant take ppl gettin mad at me. i cant take ppl treating me like crap.. n i cant take myself! .. im so mad at myself. the way i act. mostly around travis. it pisses me off to the extreeme. i duno why the hell i do. like heather said for me cuz iwas tellin her about it. am i a pussy about it. "stop being a pussy around travis. talk to him, tell him how u feel. Relationships wont work if u dont have enough communication!" shes right. i told her everything in a note. n i asked her to help. n shes right. cuz with out that.. we got nothing. n i keep fucking that up. i keep doin what i do.. n i get so mad. every day i come home from school so pissed of.. at myself. for not doin/saying the things i wanted to say to him. i love him. alot. n everything else is goin wrong.. if ilose him.. im.. i dont know. im not tyhinkin about it now. i just need to fucking get over w/e n do n say what i wanna. hes my b'f god damn it .. n i love him. now im guna start to let it show. n not just when we're alone. i just have to get the courage i guess. ugh. w/e im out. im really not in a good mood .. i just need to cry n be alone for now.
-me
*it feels as if the world has turned against me..*
n well.. in all reality
TODAY SUCKED! yeah.. emotionally today. .i cried so much. 5th period on just really went down hill. n then i found out things.. i didnt know. n it hurt me so bad.. n it brought back my past... which VERY few know of. n im afraid im headed straight down that road again. n im not fighting it anymore. i have no one to confide in right now. no one i can really just sit n sob n tell shit to. ive been so down lately.. n today i just hit rock bottom. it seems as everything that was going good for me.. has ended.. n everything just took a turn for the worst. i just wanna be alone.. where no one can talk to me or hurt me. i need to be alone. im goin to my room now. n just.. ugh write some shit.. cry.. u know.. the usual. i ... i just cant take all this crap anymore. ireally cant. i cant take ppl being asses to me. i cant take ppl gettin mad at me. i cant take ppl treating me like crap.. n i cant take myself! .. im so mad at myself. the way i act. mostly around travis. it pisses me off to the extreeme. i duno why the hell i do. like heather said for me cuz iwas tellin her about it. am i a pussy about it. "stop being a pussy around travis. talk to him, tell him how u feel. Relationships wont work if u dont have enough communication!" shes right. i told her everything in a note. n i asked her to help. n shes right. cuz with out that.. we got nothing. n i keep fucking that up. i keep doin what i do.. n i get so mad. every day i come home from school so pissed of.. at myself. for not doin/saying the things i wanted to say to him. i love him. alot. n everything else is goin wrong.. if ilose him.. im.. i dont know. im not tyhinkin about it now. i just need to fucking get over w/e n do n say what i wanna. hes my b'f god damn it .. n i love him. now im guna start to let it show. n not just when we're alone. i just have to get the courage i guess. ugh. w/e im out. im really not in a good mood .. i just need to cry n be alone for now.
-me
*it feels as if the world has turned against me..*