Mutants!
I work with FUCKING MUTANTS.
Case in point. Im standing in the kitchen talking to The Beast's clueless live-in aide early this morning. She stops talking to me midsentance and starts dialing her cell phone. WTF!? Well fine, fuck you. I didn't want to listen to you drone on and on anyway. Then she starts swearing into the cell... So i asked what was the matter. She says that her case worker [for unemployment] wasn't answering his phone...... It was 815am. most people would recognize that its a lil early to be callin the State Office building.......because they aren't open for another 45 minutes....
Clueless live-in: Why the hell isnt he answering?
Hovey: Look at the time...
Clueless live-in: Whats that got to do with it, he should answer the damn phone!
Hovey: Look at the time......its on that clock-like thingy over yonder....
Clueless live-in: Huh?
Hovey: Clock....with numbers....tell time.
Clueless live-in: Who cares what time it is?
Hovey: He [case worker man guy dude] does. He doesn't come in and the office isnt open for another 45 minutes.
Clueless live-in: How the hell does that work!?
Hovey: Most government jobs dont work out of normal hours......like ya know bankers hours.
Clueless live-in: What hours do they work?
Hovey: -->Wondering what planet this assclown came from<---
Clueless live-in: Well?
Hovey: They work from 9am to 5pm. Try calling him again at 9 and I bet he'll magically answer.
So 9am rolls around and she calls......and GUESS WHAT.......dude answersthe phone and reminds her that he works......wait.....wait....wait for it...Nine to Five! MUTANTS. This is why we dont let strange truck stop heahtens into the house boys and girls...
A few hours later, she walks up right in the middle of a procedure i am doing, A sterile procedure (Catheter Flush) no less, with a face full of crumbs and sticks her empty head into the field and starts blathering about driving and grants and crap. I looked over the top of the sterile drape and told her to go away. So after i finish the flushing and get everyone and everything cleaned up she wanders over and asks about my holiday plans...
Clueless live-in: Still going to Idaho for Thanksgiving?
Hovey: I wont be here that day. Not coming to work is what i am doing.
Clueless live-in: So can you give me a ride to Twin Falls Idaho?
Hovey: *Is silent for amoment while he contorts face into look of DEATH* Are you fuckin serious!?
Clueless live-in: Is it far from where you're going?
Hovey: Yes. Around 120 miles or so.
Clueless live-in: So could you maybe just go through Twin Falls first and then go to your place. I wanna meet a truck driver there.
Hovey: No. And as a Medical Professional, i highly recommend sevral rounds of high sped intracranial lead therapy^.
Clueless live-in: What's that?
Hovey: Its technical. Don't worry about it.
Mutants! I swear, Mutants.
^(Go shoot yourself in the head a couple of times)