You Can Be Happy Chapter 5
Chapter 5 was based on when Stacy said something to the effect of "They have to check your criminal record, that could take some explaining." I'm not pleased with the scenario (it's kind of stupid) that I thought of, but I am pleased with why House did what he did and how Stacy viewed him because of it.
Chapter 5 - A Criminal Record
House was in an exam room in the clinic examining a patient, which was certainly considered a rarity. He only actually saw patients in clinic for two reasons and they both had one source- Cuddy. House would see patients if Cuddy literally dragged him down to clinic or if he wanted to hide from her. There were no exceptions. Oh, House was in the clinic rooms often, but not to treat patients, but rather to take a nap or watch an episode of General Hospital. Today, however, he was hiding from Cuddy. He knew she’d find him sooner or later but he didn’t feel like being yelled at this early in the morning.
“Say Ahh,” House said while holding a tongue depressor in his hand.
“Ahh.” House peered into the patient’s mouth.
“Well the bad news is that what you have there is no known cure for. But the good news is that you just might live,” House said as he removed his latex gloves and tossed them in the trash.
“Oh no, do I have cancer?”
“This isn’t Jeopardy. You don’t have to state your responses in question form. And why do you think you have cancer? You have a slight fever and a sore throat. It’s a cold.”
“Oh,” the patient said somewhat embarrassed.
“Now go to the drug store and buy some cold medicine and stop wasting my time,” House said rudely. God, he hated patients. As he went to exit the room, the door flew open and in stormed Cuddy.
“Dr. House, there you are,” Cuddy said very sternly, not quite yelling but House could tell she was just getting warmed up.
“Oh, you found me. Now it’s your turn to go hide. I’ll cover my eyes and count to one hundred,” House said as he placed his right hand over his eyes.
“House, do not start with me. Get in my office…NOW,” Cuddy said, growing angrier by the second.
House turned to the patient, raising an eyebrow, “Sorry for her outburst, the boss gets all riled up when she doesn’t get some. She’s insatiable.”
Cuddy grabbed on to House’s shoulder and shoved him out of the room, leading him to her office by his collar like a school boy.
Once they got into her office, Cuddy pushed House down onto a chair “What did you do House?”
“Well I thought I was doing my job before you came barging in.”
“Don’t be cute. You know what I’m talking about. The hospital just got served with papers from the lawyers of a Marcia Strauss. She’s suing you for $25 million alleging that you drugged her and performed an illegal surgical procedure on her son. Please tell me you did not do that.”
“Ok, I can tell you that. Of course I’d be lying…” House trailed off as he noticed Cuddy’s vein in her forehead begin to pulse.
Cuddy began to impatiently tap her foot against the floor, “I don’t even want to know the rationale behind what you did, but I am obligated to know your side of the story for legal purposes. So care to tell me what happened?”
“Fine…the kid presented with seizures, skin lesions all over his body and mild autism. Me…being the brilliant doctor that I am, suspected tuberous sclerosis so I ordered a DNA test. Turns out I was right, go figure.”
Cuddy interrupted, “I get it, you’re a good doctor. But get to the part of the story of why’s she suing you.”
House cleared his throat, “That’s where I was headed before I was so rudely interrupted. So having tuberous sclerosis, I figured that the patient probably had benign tumors growing throughout his organs so I ordered a full body scan to see where those tumors were. Turns out, the patient had a tumor in his brain- a giant-cell astrocytoma. Leaving that in would probably prove fatal to the patient.” House shifted in his chair as he was getting to the good part of the story, anticipating the rage that Cuddy would be emitting in a few moments. “So…I went to the lady that is now suing us and told her that we need to do brain surgery on her son or else he’d die. The patient’s mom, being the moron that she is, refused to consent to the surgery. So me, being the doctor who wants his patients to live, slipped the mom some sedatives that conked her out for awhile and performed the life-saving surgery.”
“Ah, so you saved his life…just like Superman does it,” Cuddy said sarcastically.
“I’m not pretending to be a hero Cuddy. I did my damn job. If it weren’t for me and what I did, that kid would be dead,” House started to get a little defensive.
“There were ways to do the surgery other than drugging the mom. You know that House.”
“Fine, I’ll never do it again.”
“Yes you will. But that’s beside the point. Right now, we simply don’t have the manpower to handle this case. We’re also screwed if we have to shell out 25 million dollars. So we need to find a lawyer to handle this case, preferably a lawyer that doesn’t hate you. Do you know of any?”
House knew where this conversation was heading. “Nope,” he stated assuredly.
“So Stacy doesn’t even like you? I called her about an hour ago and she’s on her way over here. I told her this would qualify for her pro-bono work for the year and if we lost the case then you’d be in even bigger trouble than you already are.”
House winced, “You’re dragging Stacy into this?”
“Do you have a better idea?”
House sat there, not knowing what to say. The silence was broken when Stacy, as if on cue, walked through the doors. “You’ve really outdone yourself this time Greg.”
“Hey, you don’t even know my side of the story,” House retorted.
“Well, I do know you. There’s no way you handled this the right way.”
“Words can hurt you know,” House said as he stood up and stared at Stacy.
Cuddy interjected before a fight started up, “Now Stacy, I know you haven’t had a lot of time to look over the details of this case but do you have any initial thoughts?”
Stacy took her stare off of Greg to look at Cuddy, “Well, I’m not sure how we’re going to get out of the assault charge against the mother.” She shot a glare at House then added, “But I think we can argue that Greg saved the kid’s life and get out of the assault charge on the son.”
“And how are we going to do that?” Cuddy asked.
“Well, I’m sure Mrs. Strauss’ lawyer will argue based upon a New Jersey statute that states a child is not considered neglected if he or she is receiving treatment by spiritual means. To the best of my understanding, Mrs. Strauss was not basing her decision off of any religious belief.”
“Unless her religion is stupidity,” House interjected.
Stacy once again stared at House, “Furthermore, I think it would be best if you not testify in court. We don’t need you shooting off your mouth adding any additional charges and making it any easier for the judge to find you guilty.”
“I have some self-control,” House argued.
“No you don’t,” Stacy responded. Turning back to Cuddy she said, “The best we can hope for is some sort of probation for Greg. That is if we get a judge who is a staunch advocate for children’s rights. If we aren’t as lucky, then having his license to practice medicine revoked is a possibility.”
“They’re not going to revoke my license,” House said nervously.
“Why not? Because you’re a good doctor? You might be Greg, but that doesn’t put you outside the rules,” Stacy replied in a less harsh tone than she’d been using earlier.
“No, because I have the best lawyer in New Jersey on my side,” House said quietly as he lifted his head and smiled.
Stacy smiled back but said, “About a million more of those compliments and then we might be even.”
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House was back at his home preparing dinner for Stacy. She had gotten him off with a pretty lenient punishment considered that the alternatives could have been a lot worse. He was suspended from the hospital for two weeks without pay and on top of that he was put on probation for a year. That meant Cuddy would be looking over his shoulder even more than usual. That was the one true annoyance of the whole ordeal House thought. Luckily, the judge thought that $25 million was a very extravagant amount to have to pay to Mrs. Strauss considering her son lived as a result. Instead, the hospital was forced to pay $100,000 for the whole dosing incident.
House didn’t cook often…ever actually but he felt like he owed Stacy, not only because she wasn’t paid for defending him but because he was able to keep his medical license. He didn’t want to think about what he’d do if he couldn’t be a doctor. House was lighting two white candles as Stacy walked through the front door. He saw her face; she looked pleasantly surprised, and he walked to the refrigerator to grab the bottle of wine that was being chilled. Pouring two glasses, he handed one to her.
“Surprise,” House said softly, “I can be domestic.”
Stacy looked around at the setup smiling, “Apparently. I never knew you had it in you.”
“Anything to get me laid,” House said. “But can I propose a toast. To Stacy, the best lawyer in New Jersey, saved her stupid boyfriend and didn’t even break a sweat while doing it.”
“Cheers,” she said as they hit their glasses together and took their respective sips.
House said, “You know, I knew there was a good reason for being with you.” Stacy looked up and glared at him. House quickly added, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. You know I’m with you for so many more reasons than that.”
“I know,” Stacy took a sip of her wine. “You know how I acted mad at you for what you did? I had to act like that as your lawyer, but deep down I felt that what you did was…heroic in a way.”
House looked up into her eyes, “That wasn’t heroic. I did what I did because it was right.”
“I know. But standing on your principles when no one else agrees with you because you know you’re right? That doesn’t happen too often anymore,” Stacy said softly.
“Most people think that is called being stubborn,” House argued.
“And that’s why people don’t see you the same way I do. Although it drives me insane sometimes, that’s what I admire most about you, your drive and passion to stand up for what is right.”
House, never being able to take a compliment, said, “This dinner was supposed to be about you, not me. Before you go complimenting me more, you might want to hold your tongue until after you’ve tried this sorry excuse for chicken parmesan that I’ve concocted.”
Stacy just smiled. Greg was so difficult sometimes. How could he be so arrogant at times and yet so humble at others? It was one of the great mysteries to this man that she knew she’d never figure out. And she didn’t think she’d want to. She didn’t want him to change, because change would mean altering the man she had fallen in love with.