Here’s our first writing assignment. We call these “Kickstarters.” It’s a half-dozen dialogue prompts to kickstart a story. Start with it, end with it, or plant it in the middle, but use the quote.( Read more... )
The Masterpiece CollectionnamasteyogaApril 9 2006, 16:20:34 UTC
Title: The Masterpiece Collection Author: Namaste Rating: All My prompt was: “Gimme,” House said and plucked the meal check from Wilson’s hand. “Did the earth just start rotating backward?” Wilson asked.
I also decided to challenge myself by limiting my writing time to 45 minutes, with a max of 30 minutes for re-write and edit, since short and simple is not my typical style. (It’s been so long I sent something out un-betaed I practically feel naked.)
This is a tag for the end of the Season Two episode “Safe.”
Re: The Masterpiece Collectiontopaz_eyesApril 9 2006, 21:16:29 UTC
I like this very much--I like how you weave the movie references into the narrative (especially the Superman one). The quiet sense of despair you evoke is fantastic, juxtaposed against House's levity at Wilson's choice in movies. This was a great use of the prompt.
One minor quibble I saw was with the transition here:
He pulled into the mall parking lot on an impulse.
Wilson was just starting to relax into the familiar dialogue when House came home.
Either a couple more sentences to lead into the next scene, or a firm break between, would help; I just found this transition jarring. (And I agree, it's odd to post something unbeta'ed.)
Re: The Masterpiece CollectionnamasteyogaApril 9 2006, 21:49:57 UTC
That transition point would be the point where I realized I was at the 30-minute mark of my self-imposed timeline and still needed to get to the prompt. (I did allow myself time to consider the basic structure of the fic before the actual start of writing, by the way.)
I think I'd normally just put a line break between those to set it apart if I couldn't think of a better transition.
Re: The Masterpiece CollectionpwcorgigirlApril 10 2006, 14:25:47 UTC
I like this very much. There's a wonderful lightness to it, with the underlying notion of old habits and how ingrained they become. The image of the bare trees is very good: Wilson now has to look at things in a different light.
The lines about why the new box set is improved are very funny and perfectly in character.
Excellent use of the prompt. There are comic possibilities in House turning around and weaseling out of the check, but it's really nice (and part of his established attempt to take care of Wilson in his own warped way) that he paid it.
Re: The Masterpiece CollectionnamasteyogaApril 10 2006, 14:32:18 UTC
I'm glad you liked it. It was nice to just sit down and write something short and quick, compared to the sturm and drang I've been dealing with fic wise lately. It was sort of a mental palate cleanser.
The new and improved bit really is what's new about the re-release of "Vertigo." (Yeah, I actually checked the DVD release sites before I wrote the story.)
The title, "The Masterpiece Collection" is actually the name of the Hitchcock box set.
Re: The Masterpiece CollectionextrabitterApril 11 2006, 05:13:41 UTC
I figured that's what the new Hitchcock set is called. (I haven't bought it yet.) I gave this a quick read-through, and like it quite a bit. The piece has a light feeling, and doesn't get bogged down in reams of detail. I'm a detail fiend, but when you're going directly from an episode, you don't have to do so much of it. Kind of makes me want to write post-ep again.
I enjoyed the opening with Wilson on autopilot, and the nod to New Jersey's proliferation of malls.
On the concrit level, you have a couple of really shaky sentences, such as "There was a delivery guy there with a large pizza." That's the kind of sentence that makes you facepalm when you're editing for the second time. That one caught my eye because of the repeated "there." I like the time limit idea, though.
And like you, I thought of Superman when I read the prompt. Glad it wasn't just me.
Re: The Masterpiece CollectionnamasteyogaApril 11 2006, 11:57:51 UTC
The repetition of words is a problem I often have, no matter what I write. I'll typically catch them once I set the story away for a a while and come back to it, but didn't see it at all this time until you pointed it out. Oof.
I thought that setting it post-"Safe" both helped with not requiring the reams of background to set up the story, and also because once I thought "Superman," the viewing of "Vertigo" came to mind.
Re: The Masterpiece CollectionlogastellusApril 13 2006, 00:49:26 UTC
I like this quite a bit, and it took me until my third read-through to understand why. It's light, and low-key, no gut-wrenching angst or dramatic revelations. It's an ordinary scene, but absolutely full of touching little details that are deeply revealing of Wilson, his grief, and his relationship with House.
It isn't Julie he thinks about, but the house, the habits, the commonplace. And it is in the commonplace that he finds comfort with House.
PWCorgigirl's kickstarter touched on the same theme, a little bit -- that the ordinary intimacies are sometimes the things we need the most, that we miss the most when they're gone.
Re: The Masterpiece CollectionnamasteyogaApril 13 2006, 10:56:59 UTC
Thanks. I think its interesting that Wilson takes comfort in "Vertigo," of all things. It's not a typical guy flick -- its cerebral and moody and was misunderstood during its original release. (Like both Wilson and House maybe?)
It's not a typical "thriller" and I of kind wanted to play with that low key tone a little bit.
Author: Namaste
Rating: All
My prompt was: “Gimme,” House said and plucked the meal check from Wilson’s hand. “Did the earth just start rotating backward?” Wilson asked.
I also decided to challenge myself by limiting my writing time to 45 minutes, with a max of 30 minutes for re-write and edit, since short and simple is not my typical style. (It’s been so long I sent something out un-betaed I practically feel naked.)
This is a tag for the end of the Season Two episode “Safe.”
Read it here:
http://namasteyoga.livejournal.com/4797.html#cutid1
Reply
One minor quibble I saw was with the transition here:
He pulled into the mall parking lot on an impulse.
Wilson was just starting to relax into the familiar dialogue when House came home.
Either a couple more sentences to lead into the next scene, or a firm break between, would help; I just found this transition jarring. (And I agree, it's odd to post something unbeta'ed.)
Reply
I think I'd normally just put a line break between those to set it apart if I couldn't think of a better transition.
Reply
The lines about why the new box set is improved are very funny and perfectly in character.
Excellent use of the prompt. There are comic possibilities in House turning around and weaseling out of the check, but it's really nice (and part of his established attempt to take care of Wilson in his own warped way) that he paid it.
Reply
The new and improved bit really is what's new about the re-release of "Vertigo." (Yeah, I actually checked the DVD release sites before I wrote the story.)
The title, "The Masterpiece Collection" is actually the name of the Hitchcock box set.
Reply
I enjoyed the opening with Wilson on autopilot, and the nod to New Jersey's proliferation of malls.
On the concrit level, you have a couple of really shaky sentences, such as "There was a delivery guy there with a large pizza." That's the kind of sentence that makes you facepalm when you're editing for the second time. That one caught my eye because of the repeated "there." I like the time limit idea, though.
And like you, I thought of Superman when I read the prompt. Glad it wasn't just me.
Reply
I thought that setting it post-"Safe" both helped with not requiring the reams of background to set up the story, and also because once I thought "Superman," the viewing of "Vertigo" came to mind.
Reply
It isn't Julie he thinks about, but the house, the habits, the commonplace. And it is in the commonplace that he finds comfort with House.
PWCorgigirl's kickstarter touched on the same theme, a little bit -- that the ordinary intimacies are sometimes the things we need the most, that we miss the most when they're gone.
Reply
It's not a typical "thriller" and I of kind wanted to play with that low key tone a little bit.
Reply
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