(no subject)
(Apologies if I'm gettting over my pay grade, but I thought since I inflicted this idea on pwcorgigirl, I should take some initiative. (Should we start a "Case Studies" tag?)
In the first Case Studies post, perspi expressed an interest in fight scenes. From House fic, joe_pike_junior suggested a passage from sy_dedalus's fic "Nothing Like the Blues to Get You Down" as an example of a fight scene done well (and I hope this is the passage JPJ meant):
The fic takes place shortly after House makes himself Clarence's drinking buddy ("Acceptance", S02.01). After several pages of sniping....
“I know [Stacy] yelled at you earlier,” [Wilson] said quietly.
“That has nothing to do with it,” House answered quickly.
“I know you love the way she looks in blue blouses,” Wilson said.
“I’ve gone temporarily color blind,” House said. “Didn’t I tell you? That’s why Foreman hasn’t gotten a ton of crap from me this week. I can’t see him.”
“I know her legs look the same way they did five years ago,” Wilson continued. He was taunting House, he knew, but he’d been provoked, dammit. “I know you still get off on business suits and heels. I know you can’t stop undressing her with your eyes and-”
“Did you know I love the sound she makes when she comes, too?” House spat viciously.
He looked away in disgust, right hand instinctively diving into the left breast pocket of his jacket. “I can’t believe you,” he muttered
He had his hand on the bottle but Wilson was too fast for him again.
“No,” Wilson said snatching the pills. “You’re not avoiding this conversation.”
“I’m not trying to avoid the conversation,” House said trying to reach over Wilson to get the pills back. “My leg hurts. Give ‘em.”
“House, stop it,” Wilson said, trying to fight him off and steer at the same time. “Quit. I’m trying to drive.”
Wilson tried to fight him without actually being violent, hoping House would realize the idiocy of what he was doing and stop, but House wasn’t stopping.
“Stop!” Wilson said and pushed him.
House, his balance still off, nearly smacked his head against the passenger side window and cursed loudly. Wilson finagled the bottle open, thumbed out three pills, hit the power button for the window, and dumped the rest into the street.
“Oh what the hell!” House yelled turning in his seat to see the pills fly away as Wilson rolled the window up. “You had no right to do that! That was totally out of line!”
Wilson held up his fist. “Three,” he said in a deadly calm voice. “Enough to get you through the night. I’ll be in early; come see me first thing and I’ll write for the ones I just threw out.”
“That is bullshit!” House yelled.
“What are you gonna do?” Wilson challenged. “Pick them up out of the gutter? Wipe ‘em off? Invoke the five second rule?”
House’s jaw muscles stood out against his sunken cheek as he ground his teeth. He didn’t answer.
Then Wilson realized…
“You would, wouldn’t you,” he said quietly. It wasn’t a question. He pulled into a nearby parking lot and stopped the car, turning to face House. “Listen, this has got to-”
House wasn’t listening. “I can’t…believe…you did that,” he said stiffly through his teeth.
“You’re killing yourself,” Wilson said matter-of-factly.
“Everybody has to die,” House sneered. He was shaking with anger and incomprehension. “Everybody has a right to choose to-to have some control over-to-to-”
Wilson shook his head sadly. “You’re still the victim, aren’t you?” he said. “Still. After all this time.” He shook his head again with a bitter laugh. “And since you can’t hit back, you slowly poison yourself instead. Because the worst thing a narcissist can do to the world is deprive it of his presence.”
“Don’t-try to analyze me,” House ground out.
So. Let's discuss:
Is this a good fight scene?
Why is it a good fight scene? What works well? How does sy keep House and Wilson in character? What traps does sy avoid?
What writing techniques does sy use to make this a good fight scene? How does she control the tension, the pacing?
Any other good fight scenes you can think of out there? Let's take a look at those, too.
(Just to make it clear: this is not a thread for general concrit of sy's fic. In this thread, we're only looking at what works, looking to learn from other authors.)
In the first Case Studies post, perspi expressed an interest in fight scenes. From House fic, joe_pike_junior suggested a passage from sy_dedalus's fic "Nothing Like the Blues to Get You Down" as an example of a fight scene done well (and I hope this is the passage JPJ meant):
The fic takes place shortly after House makes himself Clarence's drinking buddy ("Acceptance", S02.01). After several pages of sniping....
“I know [Stacy] yelled at you earlier,” [Wilson] said quietly.
“That has nothing to do with it,” House answered quickly.
“I know you love the way she looks in blue blouses,” Wilson said.
“I’ve gone temporarily color blind,” House said. “Didn’t I tell you? That’s why Foreman hasn’t gotten a ton of crap from me this week. I can’t see him.”
“I know her legs look the same way they did five years ago,” Wilson continued. He was taunting House, he knew, but he’d been provoked, dammit. “I know you still get off on business suits and heels. I know you can’t stop undressing her with your eyes and-”
“Did you know I love the sound she makes when she comes, too?” House spat viciously.
He looked away in disgust, right hand instinctively diving into the left breast pocket of his jacket. “I can’t believe you,” he muttered
He had his hand on the bottle but Wilson was too fast for him again.
“No,” Wilson said snatching the pills. “You’re not avoiding this conversation.”
“I’m not trying to avoid the conversation,” House said trying to reach over Wilson to get the pills back. “My leg hurts. Give ‘em.”
“House, stop it,” Wilson said, trying to fight him off and steer at the same time. “Quit. I’m trying to drive.”
Wilson tried to fight him without actually being violent, hoping House would realize the idiocy of what he was doing and stop, but House wasn’t stopping.
“Stop!” Wilson said and pushed him.
House, his balance still off, nearly smacked his head against the passenger side window and cursed loudly. Wilson finagled the bottle open, thumbed out three pills, hit the power button for the window, and dumped the rest into the street.
“Oh what the hell!” House yelled turning in his seat to see the pills fly away as Wilson rolled the window up. “You had no right to do that! That was totally out of line!”
Wilson held up his fist. “Three,” he said in a deadly calm voice. “Enough to get you through the night. I’ll be in early; come see me first thing and I’ll write for the ones I just threw out.”
“That is bullshit!” House yelled.
“What are you gonna do?” Wilson challenged. “Pick them up out of the gutter? Wipe ‘em off? Invoke the five second rule?”
House’s jaw muscles stood out against his sunken cheek as he ground his teeth. He didn’t answer.
Then Wilson realized…
“You would, wouldn’t you,” he said quietly. It wasn’t a question. He pulled into a nearby parking lot and stopped the car, turning to face House. “Listen, this has got to-”
House wasn’t listening. “I can’t…believe…you did that,” he said stiffly through his teeth.
“You’re killing yourself,” Wilson said matter-of-factly.
“Everybody has to die,” House sneered. He was shaking with anger and incomprehension. “Everybody has a right to choose to-to have some control over-to-to-”
Wilson shook his head sadly. “You’re still the victim, aren’t you?” he said. “Still. After all this time.” He shook his head again with a bitter laugh. “And since you can’t hit back, you slowly poison yourself instead. Because the worst thing a narcissist can do to the world is deprive it of his presence.”
“Don’t-try to analyze me,” House ground out.
So. Let's discuss:
Is this a good fight scene?
Why is it a good fight scene? What works well? How does sy keep House and Wilson in character? What traps does sy avoid?
What writing techniques does sy use to make this a good fight scene? How does she control the tension, the pacing?
Any other good fight scenes you can think of out there? Let's take a look at those, too.
(Just to make it clear: this is not a thread for general concrit of sy's fic. In this thread, we're only looking at what works, looking to learn from other authors.)