S.A.S.Q.U.A.T.C.H.: Can't say I disagree. Puplic [sic] parks are for and paid by usefull responsible members of our society. It's not a free campground, crypt, or place to shoot up."Useful
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Dear, what planet is your school district from?septitholDecember 16 2010, 20:31:46 UTC
Pundit, you wrote back on May 3:
>> This gives schools a powerful incentive to ignore bullying, pretend incidents didn't happen, and hold bullying complaints to about the same standard of proof you'd have to have to convict someone of a serious crime in a court of law. Since kids are much more willing than adults to perjure themselves in order to stay out of it, particularly to stay off of the bullies' target radar, and kids can be put on the spot at will instead of having to agree to appear or being subpoenaed, there is almost never a shortage of kids ready to say they didn't see it, it didn't happen, or the weaker (and thus less dangerous) kid provoked the attack.... )
Re: Dear, what planet is your school district from?house_punditDecember 16 2010, 22:22:46 UTC
Yeah, I love email. When I was dealing with the school on special ed stuff, I mostly sent polite email, and I followed every phone call and every meeting with a polite "recap" email in the guise of "thank you for talking with me today, my understanding is that...."
Of course, the very loud translation was, "I'm documenting everything, from day one, all the time." But also the, "Hey, as long as you're taking care of business, I'm not only polite, I'm friendly. I bring cookies!"
And, of course, professional attire for meetings, not casual or even business casual.
I took a special ed advocacy course early on. So whatever the school might "normally" have done, they knew from day one that James and I were involved, great to deal with if they played nice, but would be real ball-busters if they didn't.
They didn't necessarily want to be nice--or to be jerks. I just started off with the "executive power games" to make sure we understood each other. Namely, that I would rather work with them than be a dick, but that they could count on me
( ... )
Re: Dear, what planet is your school district from?house_punditDecember 16 2010, 22:40:04 UTC
Er...reaching out to her, not reaching at her.
It was an inherently (unfortunately) adversarial situation, someone was going to walk out of there on top and someone not. I tried hard to avoid every getting there.
But sometimes you have a school that thinks the rules don't apply to them--that they get to pick and choose which ones they want to follow.
Forex, in the situation you described, they would have found me from day one documenting everything, and if I actually had proof, they'd be on the losing end of a lawsuit.
In our case, they'd have found heads rolling from the superintendent on down when the regional accreditation board did what they'd done to another county school district in similar circumstances--threatened to take away school accreditation for the whole county.
Unfortunately, there are some people in life where you just have bust their balls until they shape up--or ship out.
Re: Dear, what planet is your school district from?house_punditDecember 16 2010, 22:49:07 UTC
I'm a big believer in hoping people will do the right thing, assuming they will do the right thing, treating them as if they were naturally going to do the right thing and being nice to them....
....while being and staying prepared to bust their balls if they don't.
But I also believe in picking my battles.
Hurting my kid, or putting her in a situation of threat, is a sure way to go from seeing nice, polite, friendly Julie to encountering The Bitch.
"You want to meet the real me now?" -- Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly
I am not Suzie Shortcake--I just try hard to treat people as if I were. Unless they do something stupid like threaten my child.
Re: Dear, what planet is your school district from?septitholDecember 16 2010, 22:58:33 UTC
Dear Pundit: Well, I'm not sure what accomodation they wouldn't do for your daughter in special ed, but the story sounds pretty similiar to a friend of my mother's, who had a son who had learning disabilities. According to state law, the school was required to give him his lessons in a particular way, that enabled him to understand the subject material. However, the school did not do this, they claimed it was 'too inconvenient'. His mother pointed out that the state law didn't give them the option of NOT doing it, whether it was convenient or not. However, they refused to obey the law, until his mother got a lawyer after them. Then all of a sudden, they found a way to get it done, convenient or no
( ... )
Re: Dear, what planet is your school district from?septitholDecember 18 2010, 01:35:00 UTC
Pundit: Well, I guess we will have to agree to disagree. I've seen and heard of too many goings-on in schools that go well beyond the level of merely 'flawed and incompetent' and enter far into the realm of 'malevolent and blasphemous scum
( ... )
>> This gives schools a powerful incentive to ignore bullying, pretend incidents didn't happen, and hold bullying complaints to about the same standard of proof you'd have to have to convict someone of a serious crime in a court of law. Since kids are much more willing than adults to perjure themselves in order to stay out of it, particularly to stay off of the bullies' target radar, and kids can be put on the spot at will instead of having to agree to appear or being subpoenaed, there is almost never a shortage of kids ready to say they didn't see it, it didn't happen, or the weaker (and thus less dangerous) kid provoked the attack.
Reply
Of course, the very loud translation was, "I'm documenting everything, from day one, all the time." But also the, "Hey, as long as you're taking care of business, I'm not only polite, I'm friendly. I bring cookies!"
And, of course, professional attire for meetings, not casual or even business casual.
I took a special ed advocacy course early on. So whatever the school might "normally" have done, they knew from day one that James and I were involved, great to deal with if they played nice, but would be real ball-busters if they didn't.
They didn't necessarily want to be nice--or to be jerks. I just started off with the "executive power games" to make sure we understood each other. Namely, that I would rather work with them than be a dick, but that they could count on me ( ... )
Reply
It was an inherently (unfortunately) adversarial situation, someone was going to walk out of there on top and someone not. I tried hard to avoid every getting there.
But sometimes you have a school that thinks the rules don't apply to them--that they get to pick and choose which ones they want to follow.
Forex, in the situation you described, they would have found me from day one documenting everything, and if I actually had proof, they'd be on the losing end of a lawsuit.
In our case, they'd have found heads rolling from the superintendent on down when the regional accreditation board did what they'd done to another county school district in similar circumstances--threatened to take away school accreditation for the whole county.
Unfortunately, there are some people in life where you just have bust their balls until they shape up--or ship out.
Reply
....while being and staying prepared to bust their balls if they don't.
But I also believe in picking my battles.
Hurting my kid, or putting her in a situation of threat, is a sure way to go from seeing nice, polite, friendly Julie to encountering The Bitch.
"You want to meet the real me now?" -- Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly
I am not Suzie Shortcake--I just try hard to treat people as if I were. Unless they do something stupid like threaten my child.
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