Pardon me, but you look awfully familiar...
Running down the ready fuels
It's finally over
Just get over
Time will tell if it all turns out okay
Well... This has been sorely neglected. Like a lot of other things. I got caught up in updating my notebook journal when I actually have time to update anything, and haven't really had much time for anything else. That really sucks.
The end of school is fast approaching. June 8th. Woo, woo!! And due to a lack of funds, that much-anticipated trip to Texas might not happen. Damnit. I hate being poor. I hate that my mom is poor. Oh well, not too much I can do about it, so no use in dwelling on it.
Damn Brandon has been messaging me on MySpace. He actually had the nerve to ask if I would ever take him back. What... the... hell...? I just don't understand some people. He treated me like shit for months and months and months, and I just took it. I put up with it because I wanted to be with him; I wanted to be engaged to him, I wanted to get married to him, I wanted to have his kids and be with him forever. But what did he do? Danced a jig on my heart then put it on puree, then fed it to a fuckin' land beast and went about his merry way, probably getting chlymadia from ex-friend Michelle.
So, I got over it, thanks to a wonderful friend that I will never forget. I admit, there were times that I wanted him back. There were nights where I still thought about him. Wondered what he was doing, if he was thinking of me, things like that. Then I finally pushed him out of my mind and heart, and moved on.
And now I have Marti, and I am so insanely happy, I could squeal. The way I feel about Marti even rivals how I felt about Brandon or André. He can never replace what they meant to me, but he means so much more. I don't want this to end anytime soon. So, what happens when Brandon comes back into my life?
I tell him that I've found someone and I'm estatic about it. Yes, I really did. I couldn't be prouder of myself. I didn't turn him down out of spite; I just don't want to be with him anymore. I never want to put myself in the position to get treated the way that he treated me again. Ever. Don't get me wrong, he could be fantastic. He could send me into Euphoria, and I loved him for it. But being lied to, waiting around for visits and calls that never came, being made to feel like I was the bad guy... Never again.
Anyway... damn, my head hurts. I'm going now.
I love everyone!
... Well, maybe not everyone.