Malt does more than Milton can...
My room is very nice, really, I'm not kidding. I'm pretty damned comfortable. It is about nine thousand times better than my room at the Hospital that place I was staying in California. What a bunch of phonies. Phonies asking me questions every damn minute and hardly ever letting me just sit and think or not think, you know?
I got the sweetest note from Ingress. I miss her. I know she is only a pip squeak - but I like to see kids around doing stuff like drawing or making up games, nothing but adults around depresses the crap out of me.
Bernard is gone. I wish he'd come back. I mean he was in prison right? Someone told me he was. And what if they make him go back? Maybe he'll never get to come back here. Then what? Damn, I felt like a could trust him, sort of. I mean he was obviously not sane - but I felt like - I don't know - he was being straight with me. Adn we are all pretty damn loony, especially here at Milliways. Plus I don't like to think of him rotting in jail. It makes me itchy.
The weirdest thing of all is I still don't really have a clue where I am or what the hell is going on here. I may be dead or mad as damn hatter, but I kind of like it here. Bernard said maybe I needed a break and that was why I came here. Maybe.
I wish he'd come back. I wish we knew he was okay. I think Fleur is taking it pretty hard. She looks like hell when she thinks no one is looking. Then she puts on a big phony smile and goes all sex-demon on whomever is paying her attention. She is pretty damn sexy too. If it weren't for Bernard, I might feel differently about her always grabbing at me. But I can't say I love the idea that she'll go after almost anyone. It hardly makes me feel like I'm special or I matter. I don't know - sometimes I just feel so crazy I might burst and I just don't care - but at the same time I don't want it to be meaningless and empty. A lot of guys I used to know didn't care about that - they just wanted to make time with a girl in the backseat of a car or anywhere and as long as they got what they wanted, feelings don't really matter. But if I don't really care about a girl I can't do more than mess around a little and maybe neck with her. I must be crazy, absolutely loony.
The weirdest thing about this is that there are characters from books wandering around here, talking and eating. Hamlet mopes all over in iambic pentameter, Lord Peter Wimsey is investigating something with eggs, even Sirius and Angie are in some series of books I've never heard of. And I asked the bar if there was a book about me - it coughed up this little ratty dark red paperback (exactly the same color as my carpet in here (I wonder if Tom knows?)
It is all about me and the last year and damn it - I could have written it. It gives me stomach cramps reading it. I'm not done yet - it is pretty hard to take so I can only read a little at a time. This guy Salinger - did he make me up or is he a spy? Am I real or not? I don't understand. I feel real, real as hell. I feel pain, hunger, fear, and terrifically horny just like a normal kid.
And right now I'm so damn scared I'll never see my family again because they don't exist, for crissakes. It is nuts.
*takes out locket from Fleur and looks at Phoebe's picture*
I got the sweetest note from Ingress. I miss her. I know she is only a pip squeak - but I like to see kids around doing stuff like drawing or making up games, nothing but adults around depresses the crap out of me.
Bernard is gone. I wish he'd come back. I mean he was in prison right? Someone told me he was. And what if they make him go back? Maybe he'll never get to come back here. Then what? Damn, I felt like a could trust him, sort of. I mean he was obviously not sane - but I felt like - I don't know - he was being straight with me. Adn we are all pretty damn loony, especially here at Milliways. Plus I don't like to think of him rotting in jail. It makes me itchy.
The weirdest thing of all is I still don't really have a clue where I am or what the hell is going on here. I may be dead or mad as damn hatter, but I kind of like it here. Bernard said maybe I needed a break and that was why I came here. Maybe.
I wish he'd come back. I wish we knew he was okay. I think Fleur is taking it pretty hard. She looks like hell when she thinks no one is looking. Then she puts on a big phony smile and goes all sex-demon on whomever is paying her attention. She is pretty damn sexy too. If it weren't for Bernard, I might feel differently about her always grabbing at me. But I can't say I love the idea that she'll go after almost anyone. It hardly makes me feel like I'm special or I matter. I don't know - sometimes I just feel so crazy I might burst and I just don't care - but at the same time I don't want it to be meaningless and empty. A lot of guys I used to know didn't care about that - they just wanted to make time with a girl in the backseat of a car or anywhere and as long as they got what they wanted, feelings don't really matter. But if I don't really care about a girl I can't do more than mess around a little and maybe neck with her. I must be crazy, absolutely loony.
The weirdest thing about this is that there are characters from books wandering around here, talking and eating. Hamlet mopes all over in iambic pentameter, Lord Peter Wimsey is investigating something with eggs, even Sirius and Angie are in some series of books I've never heard of. And I asked the bar if there was a book about me - it coughed up this little ratty dark red paperback (exactly the same color as my carpet in here (I wonder if Tom knows?)
It is all about me and the last year and damn it - I could have written it. It gives me stomach cramps reading it. I'm not done yet - it is pretty hard to take so I can only read a little at a time. This guy Salinger - did he make me up or is he a spy? Am I real or not? I don't understand. I feel real, real as hell. I feel pain, hunger, fear, and terrifically horny just like a normal kid.
And right now I'm so damn scared I'll never see my family again because they don't exist, for crissakes. It is nuts.
*takes out locket from Fleur and looks at Phoebe's picture*