Chase Hates Fat People, Chapter 7
In which the gender of the baby is revealed and Chase whines all the time.
Trigger warning: One-off reference to creepy-ass Jimmy Saville and his utter creepitude.
IIIII
And we've learned that life is one big game
Where the winners are all getting paid
So stop dragging your feet behind
House: The winners are getting paid, but still not whoever wrote this song. And we’re back. Oh God, we’re back.
IIIII
As the days passed Chase could feel his insecurities begin to rise and fall with every couple of hours.
Chase: I’m sexy! No I’m not… I’m so smart! … Nope. I’m an idiot.
For one moment he would feel as though he could take care of Cameron and their child but in the next he dreaded having to worry about another human of which he was responsible for. While his father had been around sometimes he never had much of a father figure.
Chase: But did he ever tell my mother she was fat?
House: Maybe that explains all the dysfunction there. Was the crazy fat aunt his mother’s sister? Was it a genetic thing?
Chase: Maybe it was actually a mystery disease that House will diagnose, then cure, then have an hallucination about.
What did it mean to be a father?
House: When a man and a woman love each other very much…
Chase had seen movies where the father's would tuck their children in at night, take them out to the zoo, or watch a simple Disney movie with them.
House: And sometimes one of the more complex ones. Spoiler alert: The Lion King is just Hamlet but with lions.
He hadn't had many special moments like those with Rowan
House: The State University of New Jersey.
- he had been more withdrawn as Chase grew up. He could count how many times Rowan told him 'I love you' on one hand.
House: In Rowan’s defense, Chase was polydactyl for a while.
It was sad to say but true. He needed a better example than that.
Chase: Like calling my girlfriend fat all the time?
Chase was sure Cameron could read his actions pretty well.
Chase: Well, Cameron’s actions are in large print, haha, get it, large print?
She was spending more time trying to get him to go out with her but he wanted to stay home. For no reason he felt as though he should stay home and clean.
Amber: *appears* So that’s where my diet pills went.
It was always a nervous habit of his and he knew that he shouldn't let it get carried away. Staying in an already clean home just for the purpose to scrub the kitchen counters just one more time is when he knew things were getting worse.
House: If you wanted to come over and clean my house, then I could save some money.
He considered seeing a psychiatrist. He hadn't seen one since he was a teenager - after the police suggested he talk about the abuse Lillian had dealt out. Chase never wanted to talk about it. He refused to and it was a moment of courage just to tell Cameron of it.
Amber: So wait, who did he live with after this Lillian thing? Was he just left out on his own? Did CPS intervene?
Finally Chase gave in when Cameron hit her seventh month of pregnancy. She was no longer wanting to go out, having pains and aches, along with mood-swings so she did not argue any longer about him staying home as much.
Amber: I just hope she punches Chase in the face.
Cuddy: Me too.
Cameron: Me three.
Chase: Haha yeah, you three, you said that because you’re fat.
Cameron: *punches Chase in the nuts*
He, of course, recognized it and wanted to change it. What kind of father would he be so his son/daughter if he sat at home all day feeling sorry for himself?
Chase: The one that is in this story, apparently.
He didn't dare visit a psychiatrist from Plainsborough because he would never hear the end of it.
House: Isn’t it Princeton-Plainsboro?
He was supposed to maintain his image of the cute doctor supporting his pregnant girlfriend. How could he do that when he was seen going up the elevator to the third floor?
Cameron: Maybe you were carrying me.
Chase: No, you’re fat.
Cameron: *lights him on fire*
Instead he called a well-known psychiatrist, Mrs. Ollen, and scheduled an appointment for Saturday at 8:00 in the morning. That way he didn't have to miss work.
House: Wouldn’t that be Dr. Ollen? If she’s a psychiatrist she has to be a medical doctor doesn’t she?
Wilson: Olly, Olly, Ollen-Free!
When Friday rolled around and Chase told Cameron where he would be leaving to she seemed pleasantly surprised. "I'm glad that you decided to confront your problems, Chase," She said sounding worried. "I was beginning to sense you were withdrawing yourself again."
Chase: If I had withdrawn earlier, we wouldn’t be in this pregnancy situation.
"That's the last thing I want to do," He told her.
"Are you going to discuss Lillian with her?" She asked in a whisper so no one else in the hospital cafeteria would hear her.
Wilson: But no one else knows who Lillian is, so who cares?
House: It’s Grandmother Cutler from the Dawn series.
Chase felt his stomach churn. "I don't know. Probably not."
"Then why are you going?"
Chase: I’m hoping it’s going to be Dr. Melfi from The Sopranos so we can have a horrid, unethical romance.
Oops. "I have some things I have to deal with," He said as vaguely as possible.
"What things?" She probed again with more demand.
Chase could tell that she wasn't going to let this drop until he said something believable. "Alright, it's about my past, okay? It's personal. I don't want to talk about it here."
Chase: I’m actually a woman.
House: I knew it!
Wilson: I think I read a fanfiction about that.
"I wish I knew more about your past, Chase," admitted Cameron, her tone sad. "You never told me much about your childhood or any family."
House: Didn’t we talk about this on the show?
Cameron: I was watching Lost that week.
"That's because there's not much good in there to talk about," Chase replied. "I'm not going to depress you because of some things that happened to me a long time ago."
"But I want to know."
Cameron: Only wanna know! Only wanna know now!
"Why?" He asked harshly.
Chase: Actually, it was hashly. I wanted some hash browns, dammit.
Cameron: I thought I was supposed to be the hungry one!
Cameron was taken back by his tone. "Fine. I won't ask again," She concluded curtly.
Cameron: Fuck you buddy. You’re not getting any hash browns no matter how many I make.
Chase hated to snap at her like that but he didn't want to discuss his inferiority. She didn't need to be bothered with meaningless banter about how he was doubting himself when she was in such a delicate condition.
Cameron: Not so delicate that I can’t smack you in the nuts, Mister.
She had morning sickness and her back was beginning to really bother her. Chase had to give her a back massage last night so she could finally relax and go to sleep.
Cameron: I didn’t want a back massage. I wanted you to go away.
"Do you want to go out to eat tonight? At Meru's?" He asked.
House: Meru sounds like a rejected Pokemon. One that was an evolution of Meowth gone wrong.
It had been three weeks exactly when Oscar had attacked Cameron and right now he was in prison for a year.
Wilson: What a grouch.
He had actually pleaded guilty, which surprised everyone, but it was for a plea deal. Still, he never apologized. "I'll bring a towel and we can eat out on the beach, just like we always used to do."
House: These two sentences have nothing to do with each other. Why are they in the same paragraph?
"That sounds great," Cameron said with a small smile. She was still hurt by the way he had rejected her about his childhood but she could understand. Painful memories were hard to talk about and going to Mrs. Ollen must have taken a lot of courage.
Cameron: I would talk to her, too, but I’m actually allergic to her.
It was best to let him do what he needed to do instead of forcing him to talk to her. Maybe he would come to her one day with his stories, maybe not, but if he did she would be more than happy to listen. Although she doubted Chase saw it that way.
Cameron: I’m not really happy to listen.
House: You just want him to quit bitching.
IIIII
For the first time in months Chase overlooked her stomach and had made the first move.
House: Cameron should really dump his for someone with a pregnancy fetish.
Wilson: Is that you, House?
House: No, my fetish is…
Wilson: Don’t need to know that!
On the beach, laying on a sandy blanket with two empty plates, he wrapped his arm around her middle and began to plant kisses on her neck.
Wilson: Has anyone ever taken blankets to the beach? Is this a thing?
House: Sandy Blanket is also the name of the heroine in Grease after she got married.
Wilson: Who did she marry?
House: Mr. Blanket, of course.
Cameron's breath hitched as her pleasure-centers began to rise when he reached a spot on her neck Chase knew was a very sensitive area.
Chase: Why are we having sex on the beach? When did this become a thing?
Cameron: Children building sand castles, avert your eyes.
"Chase . . ." She said in a gasp, running her hands through his hair.
"Shhh . . . I'm making up for all those nights I didn't do this," He said in a whisper. His hand ran down her neck, over her breasts, and massaged her thigh suggestively. "I love you, Allison Cameron."
House: Can’t they do this at home?
She kissed his mouth greedily running her fingers under his shirt and over his chest hoping to bring him the same gratification he was giving her right then.
"Oh God, I love you," She said between kisses.
Wilson: And then they got arrested for fucking in public.
"So I'm God now?" He jibed letting his shirt unbutton by her fingers.
House: Would quoting Nietzsche ruin the mood?
Cameron left it unanswered and left hot kisses all over his chest.
They knew that they shouldn't have sex on the beach - it would be awful if some pervert was in the restaurant and saw the couple on the beach undressed - so they gathered themselves, returned the plates and paid the bill, and went home to finish what they had started.
House: Because the pervert would be the one watching, not the two weirdos fucking in broad daylight.
IIIII
Chase's legs were shaking up and down as he waited to be called into the office.
Chase: If this turns into Misery, I’m done.
The place was open from 7 AM through 8 PM and he didn't know how Mrs. Ollen ever slept.
For a moment Chase wondered if he should have had Cameron come with him.
Cameron: I haven’t been coming with you for a long time, Chase.
It wouldn't be for moral support, he didn't need that. Of course she had problems that needed to be dealt with. Neither of them were over Cecelia's death even with all of the time that passed. They would never be completely healed and Chase avoided conversation of her if he could.
Chase: Or maybe her “issues” are the fact that I’ve been a complete asshole jerk and she nearly got raped by a patient?
Then again - if his childhood did come up - he didn't want Cameron to hear it. There was nothing absolutely horrible that happened to him but it wasn't good either.
House: Chase had a mildly traumatic childhood. Only mildly.
She would feel sorry for him, probably, and for a while would treat him as though he were damaged. He hated being treated that way and Cameron had a long history of doing that with people she liked.
Cameron: Like the time I stopped dating House because he wasn’t damaged.
House: I was looking forward to coming with you… to therapy.
"Robert Chase?" An older woman, with her glasses slipping down her nose, called out. Chase stood up and the woman smiled brightly. "Hello! I'm August Ollen. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Chase."
House: Wouldn’t she realize his name is DR. CHASE?
Wilson: I didn’t spend five years in Evil Medical School so I could be called “Mr. Evil”, thank you very much.
Chase wasn't quite the morning person as she appeared to be so his reply was less than enthusiastic. "Um, hi. Nice to meet you too."
Wilson: No, he’s not enthusiastic because she is apparently a medical professional who doesn’t know to call a doctor “Doctor”.
"Why don't you follow me and we can get right to talking," She said starting to walk down the short hallway to the last door on the right. The sound of her heels clicking on the wood floor reverberated loudly.
The office was filled with those engagement posters Chase hated.
Wilson: You mean motivational posters? Engagement posters would be of Brad and Janet.
Atleast he was spared of the one with the kitten hanging on a rope, large bold words on the bottom 'Hang In There!'.
Cameron: That actually sounds really cute.
Other than that it was filled with crosses and pictures of what was, he guessed, her family. She looked like she were 40 but her ring finger was empty.
House: I were forty too.
Cameron: JESUS CHRIST… SUPER PSYCHOLOGIST!
Chase sat down in a chair opposite of her. She was going through some papers and pulled out a sheet that had to be the one the girl at the desk filled out when he called. It was just the basics of why he was coming and some references to his life at the moment.
"So your girlfriend is pregnant," Mrs. Ollen said with a smile, although he could hear an accusing tone in her voice. She was judging him about getting pregnant out of wedlock.
Cameron: No one ever gets pregnant out of wedlock.
House: Not until Bristol Palin invented it.
"Yes. Seven months."
House and Wilson: THREE MONTHS! Of relief! Of delight! Of Elysian peace!
Cameron: And what a masquerade!
"Are you excited? Nervous? Adjusting?"
"All of those, I guess," He agreed feeling awkward. When there was a silence he knew that she wanted him to continue. "But this was planned. I don't know why I feel so anxious. I want this so bad . . ."
Cameron: If it was planned, why not marry the woman? Or at least think about it and reject it or something. It’s a social convention that hasn’t completely gone by the wayside yet.
House: I got married.
Cuddy: Only to piss me off.
House: There are also tax benefits.
"Oh my," She said sympathetically. Chase gave her a questioning gaze. "I'm sorry. I didn't get a chance to read your file beforehand, I've been pretty busy, and I just read about Allison's failed pregnancy. I'm so sorry to hear about that."
Chase: Okay, you are officially the worst counselor ever. Why the fuck wouldn’t you read the client’s file before hand?
House: She’s worse than Dr. Volgel on Dexter.
Chase froze for a moment, unsure of what to say or do, so he just stared blankly at floor.
"I can see that you're still very affected by this," Mrs. Ollen pointed out and Chase wanted to say a sarcastic remark but held back his tongue. "Would you like to tell me about your relationship with Allison? Is it good?"
House: When it was good, it was very, very good. When Cameron was fat, it was horrid?
"Um, we have some rough times but we're doing okay."
House: That’s what she said.
"Do you both think you can raise this baby together?"
"Well of course. If we didn't think we could, I wouldn't have gotten her pregnant. We had to try very hard to even get her pregnant," Chase said a little defensively.
Chase: That’s what he said.
"I'm not trying to offend you. I was wondering if you both are on the same page."
Cameron: We aren’t even reading the same book.
Chase: I’m reading a dirty paperback that I bought from a man wearing a trenchcoat.
"Of course we are."
"Does she feel as nervous as you?"
"No, she's ecstatic," Chase answered. "I'm just . . . confused I guess on how to be a good father."
Cameron: Everything you’re doing currently? Don’t do that.
"Did you have a good relationship with your father?" Mrs. Ollen asked.
House: No actually we’re just good friends.
"No, not really," He shook his head. "He wasn't a home a lot. He's a famous doctor so he'd always be off on business or at a meeting or giving a lecture. Sometimes I would go just to be close to him. Seems kind of sad that I'd have to do that doesn't it?"
"Rowan Chase. Sounds familiar," she mused. "I suppose your childhood was lonelier than most. Why don't you tell me about that."
Wilson: Mrs. Ollen definitely had Chase’s secret love-child half-brother.
"There's not much to say. I didn't really make a lot of friends and my best friend was my pet turtle, Marsh," Chase smirked at the memory. "And the maid was really nice. She would take me to see a movie and when I was little, or she would read me a story."
House: His other pets were Broslovski, Cartman and McCormick.
Wilson: McCormick didn’t last that long.
"What of your mother?"
House: Apparently all that Cameron stuff was in the file the psychologist took until now to read, but nothing about Chase’s parents.
"Alcoholic," He said flatly.
House: Anonymously.
"Since you were born?"
Wilson: Since the day he was born… (Not the night but the day)…
"Not really. It progressed as the years went by. She was lonely, just like I was, and she tried to do things with me but . . . she was too depressed most of the time."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
Chase said, "I didn't come here to talk about that though. I want to know why I'm so scared to be a father. It doesn't make sense."
Chase: It couldn’t have anything to do with my super dysfunctional childhood that makes me act like an idiot.
"From what little I've heard I think you're afraid of failure," said Mrs. Ollen matter-of-factly. "You don't want to do what your parents did - alienate your son or daughter. You and your girlfriend do have jobs that require a lot of your time. I understand you need to support yourselves and your upcoming child but maybe you can cut back on work in the beginning, hm?"
Chase: How about you can suck my dick… hm?
"I don't think I could do that. Work is . . . well I wouldn't say I love it, my boss can be a jerk, but it's enjoyable. I don't want to cut away from it."
"Adjusting is hard," she began to say, "You have to make changes. Believe me it'll be for the better. Working is the center of your life right now. You feel no need to change it because Allison works with you, and you find it nice. Maybe there is something you can do. Take a leave with Allison."
House: Then she can join the Y and do a lot of weight-loss classes while Chase sits on his ass and watches Maury.
"I planned to do that but she won't take a very long one. She loves her job," Chase said. "She was planning to buy one of those strap-on baby carriers so she could bring the baby to work with us."
Chase: All I heard of that was “she was planning to buy one of those strap-ons…”
"That's nice but isn't a hospital a bad place for a baby? I mean, he could catch a disease quite easily."
Chase: Season 1 episode 3!
"I'm sure we'll take the necessary precautions," Chase was on the defense once again. Didn't she think he and Cameron already thought of that?
"Are you and Allison Christian?"
Chase: And now religion has somehow become an issue.
"Er, I am, but I don't think that's any of your business."
"I just hate to see babies be born out of wedlock. The Lord says to save yourself for your wedding night, but I can see that you took that into your own hands. It is awful to see such a naïveté in the younger generation."
House: Wouldn’t there be some indication that the therapist is religious?
Wilson: Yeah, Chase was almost a priest. I would assume he knows how to find a religious or not religious therapist. Also, can you saw Strawman?
House: Or strawwoman.
"Allison is an Atheist so even if I cared, I doubt she would mind it either," Chase said. He was not liking her preachy attitude at all. The Aussie could hear the accusing tone hidden beneath that sweetness she tried to put on. His first impression of her was not a good one but he could tell she didn't think much of him either. "I should get going."
House: I don’t think he really needed to look for undertones. She was kind of straight out about it. It also seemed to turn on a dime.
"Giving up already?" Mrs. Ollen teased with a smug smile.
Chase said, "I think I can handle my problems myself."
"If you came here that means you realized you need outside help," she told him with that matter-of-fact voice she seemed to use a lot. "You need help Mr. Chase."
"Not from you," He muttered under his breath than said aloud, "Atleast I tried. Have a good day, Mrs. Ollen."
Well that went horribly, Chase thought darkly as he left the office. I knew that psychiatrists did nobody any good.
Wilson: She’s not a psychiatrist! She is not a medical doctor! I think you ended up talking to an evangelical pastoral counselor and somehow didn’t realize it.
IIIII
"Chase, it was only one time. You're being picky," insisted Cameron as they were waiting on House to come to work. It was 9:15 and the diagnostician had yet to show up although they already had a new case to work on.
House: I was sleeping with ten women.
Wilson: Let’s be real. He was sleeping with me.
House: Dominika was involved.
Wilson: She was videotaping.
"First impressions are usually right," pointed out Foreman. He was tired of hearing them debating about the issue and decided to say something. "Just let him decide."
Foreman: Where have I been this entire story?
"Thank you," huffed Chase unfolding his arms. "See? He agrees with me."
"He only said that to shut us up," Cameron said heatedly. "But why don't you give her another try? I mean, just because she was a bit accusing doesn't mean she can't help you."
Foreman: I don’t exactly seem like the guy who would go to therapy.
Chase: Freud would have a field day with Foreman.
"I'd rather jump in a lake of piranha's than see another psychiatrist, I'm sorry," He mumbled.
Chase: But a piranha’s what, I’d like to know?
Cameron let out a small sigh as she realized that he wasn't going to change his mind. Personally she thought he was looking for any flaw to turn her away, so he could walk away without feeling guilty, and use it as an excuse not to go back to any psychiatrist or counselor.
Cameron: Because I would definitely give up that easily about… well, anything.
"Anyway I'm going to go baby-shopping today."
House: I saw babies for 40% off at Target the other day.
"For what? We have everything we need in the nursery."
"We could use more baby blankets, and put up some colorful pictures around the room since the walls are bare."
House: Colorful pictures of what, though?
Wilson: Not the kind of pictures you tried to put in our loft, I’ll tell you that much.
"I really do not feel like going shopping, I'm sorry," Chase told her.
Cameron: But I was going to hit up Hot Topic!
Cameron was going to argue with him some more but House finally walked in.
"As for why I'm late, I got lost on the road of life," House said before anyone to query about his absence. He poured himself a cup of coffee while Cameron told him about their current patient.
House: That is a horrible reason to be late. I should have said that the highway was jammed with broken heroes on a last-chance powerdrive, like the guy on the Sopranos.
Wilson: Or, you could have said that you were late because of The Sopranos.
House: The show, or the family?
Wilson: Or the actual singers.
"Forty five, male, presents with a rash on his back, low white count, and localized numbness. . ."
IIIII
"Chase you were so happy before," Cameron said as though it had been a far off dream. "What's changed?"
Cameron: The far off dream that my boyfriend was not a complete and total dickhead.
House: Freud would say that dream was wish fulfillment.
Wilson: Jung would say that dream heralded archetypes.
House: House would say Carmen Electra should have been in that dream somewhere, making out with Cameron.
"Nothing," He lied. If it were anyone other than Cameron they would have believed him but she knew Chase better than that.
House: I wouldn’t have believed him either. I don’t like his face.
Wilson: Yes you do. That’s actually why you hired him.
Chase was not going to tell Cameron the doubt he had of his fathering abilities. How would someone re-act to that?
Wilson: Probably with some improv games… or whatever they did when they acted the first time around.
She couldn't know how it felt to grow up with parents who didn't pass on the girt of parenting. Cameron couldn't know how he grew up not learning by example.
House: Yes she could… considering it’s been mentioned in the show?
Sure there were bits and pieces he remembered but they were always so distance and he didn't know how to relate to his own child. He could go through the motions but it wouldn't be the same.
Wilson: Try not to leave your baby on a train.
"Yes. Severe mood swings are normal for you," sarcastically she drawled. She looked up from her microscope to stare Chase in the eyes. "You can't fool me."
House: “Your nipples could be seen.”
"I'm not trying to fool anyone. I'm fine," Chase said sounding exhausted at her consistent prying. "Can you stop worrying for one second? I am a grown man. I can take care of my problems."
"Right, Mr. Fix It but I will use my authority as your girlfriend to tear at your ego until you finally admit you need help," Cameron informed him.
House: As long as it isn’t Jim’ll Fix It. That was the creepiest thing ever.
"Ouch. If you care so much you won't want to tear down anything."
"No pain, no gain."
House: And no ass, no gas.
Wilson: But possibly grass.
House: If you’re a cow.
IIIII
Chase was in the conference room waiting for Foreman to bring back the results for one of the many fungal disease's this could possibly be.
House: Fungal disease’s what?
Foreman: Its condo on the lake.
While he waited he was playing with Cameron's engagement ring that he still hadn't gotten the guts to bring out. It never seemed like the right time. He knew that he would love to get married soon but he was getting cold feet.
House: Hasn’t he been thinking of proposing the entire story so far?
What if he couldn't provide Cameron and their son/daughter everything they needed? What if she found someone she loved more? What if he screwed up and she never forgave him?
House: Good Lord, stop whining. She shouldn’t forgive you for whining all the time.
He carefully looked inside of the ring to their first child's name Cecelia carefully carved there in cursive, just like her mother's on the outside. Chase planned to have all of their future children - however many that may be - and have their names chiseled into the gold ring. He had a matching ring with his name on it and Cecelia's also. It cost a pretty penny but it would be worth it.
Wilson: Well, he is a doctor. It isn’t like money is that much of an object.
House: Please sir, may I have some more?
"Aw, you shouldn't have," House feigned joy as he limped over to the Aussie. "I prefer silver but gold is better."
House: Can I read this House/Chase slash instead?
Chase: You just want to get laid.
"Sorry, they're not for you," Chase smiled lightly.
Foreman: Good thing. One time he smiled darkly and… well, we don’t like to talk about what happened that day.
"Pssh. Gold is over-rated anyway," he scoffed. "So which one is for Cameron?"
"The one that has Allison inscribed on it," He said in a 'duh' tone, holding it out for House to look at.
The diagnostician examined it and found Cecelia's name on the inside. "Cool," was all he said when he handed it back. "When are you going to ask her?"
House: After he stops being a complete dickbag? Oh… Nope. That’s never going to happen.
"I don't know. It never seems like the right time."
House: See above.
"Of course it's never the right time," House said as though it were a fact. When Chase looked at him in a confused manner he explained. "There's never a right time for anything to happen. Things just happen. Do it at the most unexpected time. When she's in the shower or when she's clipping her toenails."
Chase: I do have that foot fetish.
"I don't know what to do. I mean, if we get married, how will I do?"
"Horrible at first but that's a fault us mortals have. We learn by experience. It sucks having to go through those first months of pregnancy. You guys had problems then because it was your second pregnancy after a failed one, and you'll have more problems on the way in a relationship. It's natures way of keeping us on our feet," House said not knowing if this was helping or hurting. Than again he didn't care too much either way. "But I think you'll make it. Don't make me a liar, either, or I'll have to deny we ever had this conversation."
House: Than again, I don’t usually talk like this.
"Like you would ever say you gave me advice."
"There's that," House shrugged. "Than again I'd be surprised if you listened to me."
Cameron: Than again, I would like a burger… more than… something else. Again.
"I listen to you more than you think."
"And I ignore you more than you think. Weird, huh?" House walked away on that sour note leaving Chase with his two rings wondering when he should make the move.
House: Get in her pants! Oh… wait…
We should be able to work through marriage pretty well, He thought trying to shove those self-defeatist thoughts to the dark side of his mind. We worked through Cecelia and Lillian. I know we're stronger than what anyone thinks. Even me.
Chase: I didn’t work through Lillian at all! Or anything!
IIIII
Chase wasn't going to propose that same night but he had hoped he and Cameron would have some alone time. Instead it was Mr. and Mrs. Cameron who were on their doorstep waiting for them to come home. They obviously wait a while, it was nine at night, but they seemed happy to see their daughter and Chase again.
Chase: God, Cameron, your parents are persistent.
Cameron: Not here? We’ll just camp the hell out.
"It's good to see you again sweetheart," Mr. Cameron said giving his not-so-tiny girl a brief hug. "How have you both been?"
"Working hard and waiting for the newest member of the Chase family."
"You're not going to have Cameron for the last name?" Mrs. Cameron sounded sad at the news.
Cameron: “Your boyfriend is a complete loser, Cam. Please escape while you can.”
"You two aren't even married yet. Why use his last name?" Mr. Cameron debated.
Chase: Why didn’t they have this argument back when she was pregnant the first time?
Cameron: They were waiting three days to have it, but I never came home.
"What's the special occasion?" Cameron asked quick to change the subject. She could tell that Chase was holding back his true feelings about their dismay.
"I missed my baby. Ever since you were attacked I've been thinking about you more and more," Mrs. Cameron said giving her daughter another hug before they headed inside. "I'm sorry we couldn't come right away. We needed to gather some money up but we're here now."
Cameron: Way to go Mom and Dad.
Chase: Why do they need to save up money when their daughter is a doctor? I mean, House paid that one guy’s entire mortgage payment like it was nothing. I think Cameron can afford Amtrak.
"Mom, really, you didn't need to do that. I'm fine," Cameron insisted.
"Who saved you?" Her mom asked curiously looking over to Chase who felt frozen in place.
Chase: Jesus.
House: Private Ryan.
It wasn't me, he shamefully admitted in his mind.
"The nurses," She said.
House: The Naughty Night Nurses.
Wilson: I preferred Throbbing Thermometer.
"Where was Chase?" Mr. Cameron asked with an accusing stare.
"He was in the lab," Cameron replied. "I'm sure if he knew he would have been there but, of course, the nurses were closer."
Chase knew that Mr. Cameron would have given another comment about the absence but his daughter had quickly changed the subject to how her doctor had finally said what gender the baby was.
Chase: I’m her boyfriend, not her bodyguard! How was I supposed to know…?
Cameron: Well, I think they did say he was violent before… or did they? At this point all I remember is that his name was Oscar and he was a real grouch all right.
"You didn't tell me yet," said Chase with surprise. He hadn't gone to her last appointment because Cuddy asked him to work in NICU due to a nurse having an emergency leave. He had been immensely regretful that he couldn't go but Cameron had said it would be okay. Now he wished he would have brushed off responsibility and gone with her.
House: Yeah, forget those dying babies. They’ll do fine.
Cameron: Chase makes an awful nurse anyway.
"I was saving it for a surprise during dinner," she explained. "Now that my parents are here it makes it so much better."
"So what is it?" Mrs. Cameron asked excitedly.
House: It’s a baby.
"It's a boy!" She exclaimed hugging her mother once again.
Chase stood there with a smile but felt a certain emptiness inside.
House: Surprise, surprise.
He didn't have any parents to share this joy with. They were both dead. Would they even care? Mom would have been too drunk and Dad would have given him a pleasant congrads then be off to some meeting. There wouldn't be any joy in that now would there?
House: Unless you named the kid Joy. Which, since he’s a boy, might be an issue.
Cameron gave him a kiss on the lips and held his hands in hers. "Ashton, wasn't it?"
"Yeah," He said with a smile looking her in her bright eyes. He gave her another kiss to show his glee for the news.
Cameron: Actually, I was just punking you.
Atleast he'd always have Cameron. Maybe that was all he needed.
House: And we’re almost at the end. I hope, at least. Dear God, I pray we’re almost at the end.
IIIII
Trigger warning: One-off reference to creepy-ass Jimmy Saville and his utter creepitude.
IIIII
And we've learned that life is one big game
Where the winners are all getting paid
So stop dragging your feet behind
House: The winners are getting paid, but still not whoever wrote this song. And we’re back. Oh God, we’re back.
IIIII
As the days passed Chase could feel his insecurities begin to rise and fall with every couple of hours.
Chase: I’m sexy! No I’m not… I’m so smart! … Nope. I’m an idiot.
For one moment he would feel as though he could take care of Cameron and their child but in the next he dreaded having to worry about another human of which he was responsible for. While his father had been around sometimes he never had much of a father figure.
Chase: But did he ever tell my mother she was fat?
House: Maybe that explains all the dysfunction there. Was the crazy fat aunt his mother’s sister? Was it a genetic thing?
Chase: Maybe it was actually a mystery disease that House will diagnose, then cure, then have an hallucination about.
What did it mean to be a father?
House: When a man and a woman love each other very much…
Chase had seen movies where the father's would tuck their children in at night, take them out to the zoo, or watch a simple Disney movie with them.
House: And sometimes one of the more complex ones. Spoiler alert: The Lion King is just Hamlet but with lions.
He hadn't had many special moments like those with Rowan
House: The State University of New Jersey.
- he had been more withdrawn as Chase grew up. He could count how many times Rowan told him 'I love you' on one hand.
House: In Rowan’s defense, Chase was polydactyl for a while.
It was sad to say but true. He needed a better example than that.
Chase: Like calling my girlfriend fat all the time?
Chase was sure Cameron could read his actions pretty well.
Chase: Well, Cameron’s actions are in large print, haha, get it, large print?
She was spending more time trying to get him to go out with her but he wanted to stay home. For no reason he felt as though he should stay home and clean.
Amber: *appears* So that’s where my diet pills went.
It was always a nervous habit of his and he knew that he shouldn't let it get carried away. Staying in an already clean home just for the purpose to scrub the kitchen counters just one more time is when he knew things were getting worse.
House: If you wanted to come over and clean my house, then I could save some money.
He considered seeing a psychiatrist. He hadn't seen one since he was a teenager - after the police suggested he talk about the abuse Lillian had dealt out. Chase never wanted to talk about it. He refused to and it was a moment of courage just to tell Cameron of it.
Amber: So wait, who did he live with after this Lillian thing? Was he just left out on his own? Did CPS intervene?
Finally Chase gave in when Cameron hit her seventh month of pregnancy. She was no longer wanting to go out, having pains and aches, along with mood-swings so she did not argue any longer about him staying home as much.
Amber: I just hope she punches Chase in the face.
Cuddy: Me too.
Cameron: Me three.
Chase: Haha yeah, you three, you said that because you’re fat.
Cameron: *punches Chase in the nuts*
He, of course, recognized it and wanted to change it. What kind of father would he be so his son/daughter if he sat at home all day feeling sorry for himself?
Chase: The one that is in this story, apparently.
He didn't dare visit a psychiatrist from Plainsborough because he would never hear the end of it.
House: Isn’t it Princeton-Plainsboro?
He was supposed to maintain his image of the cute doctor supporting his pregnant girlfriend. How could he do that when he was seen going up the elevator to the third floor?
Cameron: Maybe you were carrying me.
Chase: No, you’re fat.
Cameron: *lights him on fire*
Instead he called a well-known psychiatrist, Mrs. Ollen, and scheduled an appointment for Saturday at 8:00 in the morning. That way he didn't have to miss work.
House: Wouldn’t that be Dr. Ollen? If she’s a psychiatrist she has to be a medical doctor doesn’t she?
Wilson: Olly, Olly, Ollen-Free!
When Friday rolled around and Chase told Cameron where he would be leaving to she seemed pleasantly surprised. "I'm glad that you decided to confront your problems, Chase," She said sounding worried. "I was beginning to sense you were withdrawing yourself again."
Chase: If I had withdrawn earlier, we wouldn’t be in this pregnancy situation.
"That's the last thing I want to do," He told her.
"Are you going to discuss Lillian with her?" She asked in a whisper so no one else in the hospital cafeteria would hear her.
Wilson: But no one else knows who Lillian is, so who cares?
House: It’s Grandmother Cutler from the Dawn series.
Chase felt his stomach churn. "I don't know. Probably not."
"Then why are you going?"
Chase: I’m hoping it’s going to be Dr. Melfi from The Sopranos so we can have a horrid, unethical romance.
Oops. "I have some things I have to deal with," He said as vaguely as possible.
"What things?" She probed again with more demand.
Chase could tell that she wasn't going to let this drop until he said something believable. "Alright, it's about my past, okay? It's personal. I don't want to talk about it here."
Chase: I’m actually a woman.
House: I knew it!
Wilson: I think I read a fanfiction about that.
"I wish I knew more about your past, Chase," admitted Cameron, her tone sad. "You never told me much about your childhood or any family."
House: Didn’t we talk about this on the show?
Cameron: I was watching Lost that week.
"That's because there's not much good in there to talk about," Chase replied. "I'm not going to depress you because of some things that happened to me a long time ago."
"But I want to know."
Cameron: Only wanna know! Only wanna know now!
"Why?" He asked harshly.
Chase: Actually, it was hashly. I wanted some hash browns, dammit.
Cameron: I thought I was supposed to be the hungry one!
Cameron was taken back by his tone. "Fine. I won't ask again," She concluded curtly.
Cameron: Fuck you buddy. You’re not getting any hash browns no matter how many I make.
Chase hated to snap at her like that but he didn't want to discuss his inferiority. She didn't need to be bothered with meaningless banter about how he was doubting himself when she was in such a delicate condition.
Cameron: Not so delicate that I can’t smack you in the nuts, Mister.
She had morning sickness and her back was beginning to really bother her. Chase had to give her a back massage last night so she could finally relax and go to sleep.
Cameron: I didn’t want a back massage. I wanted you to go away.
"Do you want to go out to eat tonight? At Meru's?" He asked.
House: Meru sounds like a rejected Pokemon. One that was an evolution of Meowth gone wrong.
It had been three weeks exactly when Oscar had attacked Cameron and right now he was in prison for a year.
Wilson: What a grouch.
He had actually pleaded guilty, which surprised everyone, but it was for a plea deal. Still, he never apologized. "I'll bring a towel and we can eat out on the beach, just like we always used to do."
House: These two sentences have nothing to do with each other. Why are they in the same paragraph?
"That sounds great," Cameron said with a small smile. She was still hurt by the way he had rejected her about his childhood but she could understand. Painful memories were hard to talk about and going to Mrs. Ollen must have taken a lot of courage.
Cameron: I would talk to her, too, but I’m actually allergic to her.
It was best to let him do what he needed to do instead of forcing him to talk to her. Maybe he would come to her one day with his stories, maybe not, but if he did she would be more than happy to listen. Although she doubted Chase saw it that way.
Cameron: I’m not really happy to listen.
House: You just want him to quit bitching.
IIIII
For the first time in months Chase overlooked her stomach and had made the first move.
House: Cameron should really dump his for someone with a pregnancy fetish.
Wilson: Is that you, House?
House: No, my fetish is…
Wilson: Don’t need to know that!
On the beach, laying on a sandy blanket with two empty plates, he wrapped his arm around her middle and began to plant kisses on her neck.
Wilson: Has anyone ever taken blankets to the beach? Is this a thing?
House: Sandy Blanket is also the name of the heroine in Grease after she got married.
Wilson: Who did she marry?
House: Mr. Blanket, of course.
Cameron's breath hitched as her pleasure-centers began to rise when he reached a spot on her neck Chase knew was a very sensitive area.
Chase: Why are we having sex on the beach? When did this become a thing?
Cameron: Children building sand castles, avert your eyes.
"Chase . . ." She said in a gasp, running her hands through his hair.
"Shhh . . . I'm making up for all those nights I didn't do this," He said in a whisper. His hand ran down her neck, over her breasts, and massaged her thigh suggestively. "I love you, Allison Cameron."
House: Can’t they do this at home?
She kissed his mouth greedily running her fingers under his shirt and over his chest hoping to bring him the same gratification he was giving her right then.
"Oh God, I love you," She said between kisses.
Wilson: And then they got arrested for fucking in public.
"So I'm God now?" He jibed letting his shirt unbutton by her fingers.
House: Would quoting Nietzsche ruin the mood?
Cameron left it unanswered and left hot kisses all over his chest.
They knew that they shouldn't have sex on the beach - it would be awful if some pervert was in the restaurant and saw the couple on the beach undressed - so they gathered themselves, returned the plates and paid the bill, and went home to finish what they had started.
House: Because the pervert would be the one watching, not the two weirdos fucking in broad daylight.
IIIII
Chase's legs were shaking up and down as he waited to be called into the office.
Chase: If this turns into Misery, I’m done.
The place was open from 7 AM through 8 PM and he didn't know how Mrs. Ollen ever slept.
For a moment Chase wondered if he should have had Cameron come with him.
Cameron: I haven’t been coming with you for a long time, Chase.
It wouldn't be for moral support, he didn't need that. Of course she had problems that needed to be dealt with. Neither of them were over Cecelia's death even with all of the time that passed. They would never be completely healed and Chase avoided conversation of her if he could.
Chase: Or maybe her “issues” are the fact that I’ve been a complete asshole jerk and she nearly got raped by a patient?
Then again - if his childhood did come up - he didn't want Cameron to hear it. There was nothing absolutely horrible that happened to him but it wasn't good either.
House: Chase had a mildly traumatic childhood. Only mildly.
She would feel sorry for him, probably, and for a while would treat him as though he were damaged. He hated being treated that way and Cameron had a long history of doing that with people she liked.
Cameron: Like the time I stopped dating House because he wasn’t damaged.
House: I was looking forward to coming with you… to therapy.
"Robert Chase?" An older woman, with her glasses slipping down her nose, called out. Chase stood up and the woman smiled brightly. "Hello! I'm August Ollen. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Chase."
House: Wouldn’t she realize his name is DR. CHASE?
Wilson: I didn’t spend five years in Evil Medical School so I could be called “Mr. Evil”, thank you very much.
Chase wasn't quite the morning person as she appeared to be so his reply was less than enthusiastic. "Um, hi. Nice to meet you too."
Wilson: No, he’s not enthusiastic because she is apparently a medical professional who doesn’t know to call a doctor “Doctor”.
"Why don't you follow me and we can get right to talking," She said starting to walk down the short hallway to the last door on the right. The sound of her heels clicking on the wood floor reverberated loudly.
The office was filled with those engagement posters Chase hated.
Wilson: You mean motivational posters? Engagement posters would be of Brad and Janet.
Atleast he was spared of the one with the kitten hanging on a rope, large bold words on the bottom 'Hang In There!'.
Cameron: That actually sounds really cute.
Other than that it was filled with crosses and pictures of what was, he guessed, her family. She looked like she were 40 but her ring finger was empty.
House: I were forty too.
Cameron: JESUS CHRIST… SUPER PSYCHOLOGIST!
Chase sat down in a chair opposite of her. She was going through some papers and pulled out a sheet that had to be the one the girl at the desk filled out when he called. It was just the basics of why he was coming and some references to his life at the moment.
"So your girlfriend is pregnant," Mrs. Ollen said with a smile, although he could hear an accusing tone in her voice. She was judging him about getting pregnant out of wedlock.
Cameron: No one ever gets pregnant out of wedlock.
House: Not until Bristol Palin invented it.
"Yes. Seven months."
House and Wilson: THREE MONTHS! Of relief! Of delight! Of Elysian peace!
Cameron: And what a masquerade!
"Are you excited? Nervous? Adjusting?"
"All of those, I guess," He agreed feeling awkward. When there was a silence he knew that she wanted him to continue. "But this was planned. I don't know why I feel so anxious. I want this so bad . . ."
Cameron: If it was planned, why not marry the woman? Or at least think about it and reject it or something. It’s a social convention that hasn’t completely gone by the wayside yet.
House: I got married.
Cuddy: Only to piss me off.
House: There are also tax benefits.
"Oh my," She said sympathetically. Chase gave her a questioning gaze. "I'm sorry. I didn't get a chance to read your file beforehand, I've been pretty busy, and I just read about Allison's failed pregnancy. I'm so sorry to hear about that."
Chase: Okay, you are officially the worst counselor ever. Why the fuck wouldn’t you read the client’s file before hand?
House: She’s worse than Dr. Volgel on Dexter.
Chase froze for a moment, unsure of what to say or do, so he just stared blankly at floor.
"I can see that you're still very affected by this," Mrs. Ollen pointed out and Chase wanted to say a sarcastic remark but held back his tongue. "Would you like to tell me about your relationship with Allison? Is it good?"
House: When it was good, it was very, very good. When Cameron was fat, it was horrid?
"Um, we have some rough times but we're doing okay."
House: That’s what she said.
"Do you both think you can raise this baby together?"
"Well of course. If we didn't think we could, I wouldn't have gotten her pregnant. We had to try very hard to even get her pregnant," Chase said a little defensively.
Chase: That’s what he said.
"I'm not trying to offend you. I was wondering if you both are on the same page."
Cameron: We aren’t even reading the same book.
Chase: I’m reading a dirty paperback that I bought from a man wearing a trenchcoat.
"Of course we are."
"Does she feel as nervous as you?"
"No, she's ecstatic," Chase answered. "I'm just . . . confused I guess on how to be a good father."
Cameron: Everything you’re doing currently? Don’t do that.
"Did you have a good relationship with your father?" Mrs. Ollen asked.
House: No actually we’re just good friends.
"No, not really," He shook his head. "He wasn't a home a lot. He's a famous doctor so he'd always be off on business or at a meeting or giving a lecture. Sometimes I would go just to be close to him. Seems kind of sad that I'd have to do that doesn't it?"
"Rowan Chase. Sounds familiar," she mused. "I suppose your childhood was lonelier than most. Why don't you tell me about that."
Wilson: Mrs. Ollen definitely had Chase’s secret love-child half-brother.
"There's not much to say. I didn't really make a lot of friends and my best friend was my pet turtle, Marsh," Chase smirked at the memory. "And the maid was really nice. She would take me to see a movie and when I was little, or she would read me a story."
House: His other pets were Broslovski, Cartman and McCormick.
Wilson: McCormick didn’t last that long.
"What of your mother?"
House: Apparently all that Cameron stuff was in the file the psychologist took until now to read, but nothing about Chase’s parents.
"Alcoholic," He said flatly.
House: Anonymously.
"Since you were born?"
Wilson: Since the day he was born… (Not the night but the day)…
"Not really. It progressed as the years went by. She was lonely, just like I was, and she tried to do things with me but . . . she was too depressed most of the time."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
Chase said, "I didn't come here to talk about that though. I want to know why I'm so scared to be a father. It doesn't make sense."
Chase: It couldn’t have anything to do with my super dysfunctional childhood that makes me act like an idiot.
"From what little I've heard I think you're afraid of failure," said Mrs. Ollen matter-of-factly. "You don't want to do what your parents did - alienate your son or daughter. You and your girlfriend do have jobs that require a lot of your time. I understand you need to support yourselves and your upcoming child but maybe you can cut back on work in the beginning, hm?"
Chase: How about you can suck my dick… hm?
"I don't think I could do that. Work is . . . well I wouldn't say I love it, my boss can be a jerk, but it's enjoyable. I don't want to cut away from it."
"Adjusting is hard," she began to say, "You have to make changes. Believe me it'll be for the better. Working is the center of your life right now. You feel no need to change it because Allison works with you, and you find it nice. Maybe there is something you can do. Take a leave with Allison."
House: Then she can join the Y and do a lot of weight-loss classes while Chase sits on his ass and watches Maury.
"I planned to do that but she won't take a very long one. She loves her job," Chase said. "She was planning to buy one of those strap-on baby carriers so she could bring the baby to work with us."
Chase: All I heard of that was “she was planning to buy one of those strap-ons…”
"That's nice but isn't a hospital a bad place for a baby? I mean, he could catch a disease quite easily."
Chase: Season 1 episode 3!
"I'm sure we'll take the necessary precautions," Chase was on the defense once again. Didn't she think he and Cameron already thought of that?
"Are you and Allison Christian?"
Chase: And now religion has somehow become an issue.
"Er, I am, but I don't think that's any of your business."
"I just hate to see babies be born out of wedlock. The Lord says to save yourself for your wedding night, but I can see that you took that into your own hands. It is awful to see such a naïveté in the younger generation."
House: Wouldn’t there be some indication that the therapist is religious?
Wilson: Yeah, Chase was almost a priest. I would assume he knows how to find a religious or not religious therapist. Also, can you saw Strawman?
House: Or strawwoman.
"Allison is an Atheist so even if I cared, I doubt she would mind it either," Chase said. He was not liking her preachy attitude at all. The Aussie could hear the accusing tone hidden beneath that sweetness she tried to put on. His first impression of her was not a good one but he could tell she didn't think much of him either. "I should get going."
House: I don’t think he really needed to look for undertones. She was kind of straight out about it. It also seemed to turn on a dime.
"Giving up already?" Mrs. Ollen teased with a smug smile.
Chase said, "I think I can handle my problems myself."
"If you came here that means you realized you need outside help," she told him with that matter-of-fact voice she seemed to use a lot. "You need help Mr. Chase."
"Not from you," He muttered under his breath than said aloud, "Atleast I tried. Have a good day, Mrs. Ollen."
Well that went horribly, Chase thought darkly as he left the office. I knew that psychiatrists did nobody any good.
Wilson: She’s not a psychiatrist! She is not a medical doctor! I think you ended up talking to an evangelical pastoral counselor and somehow didn’t realize it.
IIIII
"Chase, it was only one time. You're being picky," insisted Cameron as they were waiting on House to come to work. It was 9:15 and the diagnostician had yet to show up although they already had a new case to work on.
House: I was sleeping with ten women.
Wilson: Let’s be real. He was sleeping with me.
House: Dominika was involved.
Wilson: She was videotaping.
"First impressions are usually right," pointed out Foreman. He was tired of hearing them debating about the issue and decided to say something. "Just let him decide."
Foreman: Where have I been this entire story?
"Thank you," huffed Chase unfolding his arms. "See? He agrees with me."
"He only said that to shut us up," Cameron said heatedly. "But why don't you give her another try? I mean, just because she was a bit accusing doesn't mean she can't help you."
Foreman: I don’t exactly seem like the guy who would go to therapy.
Chase: Freud would have a field day with Foreman.
"I'd rather jump in a lake of piranha's than see another psychiatrist, I'm sorry," He mumbled.
Chase: But a piranha’s what, I’d like to know?
Cameron let out a small sigh as she realized that he wasn't going to change his mind. Personally she thought he was looking for any flaw to turn her away, so he could walk away without feeling guilty, and use it as an excuse not to go back to any psychiatrist or counselor.
Cameron: Because I would definitely give up that easily about… well, anything.
"Anyway I'm going to go baby-shopping today."
House: I saw babies for 40% off at Target the other day.
"For what? We have everything we need in the nursery."
"We could use more baby blankets, and put up some colorful pictures around the room since the walls are bare."
House: Colorful pictures of what, though?
Wilson: Not the kind of pictures you tried to put in our loft, I’ll tell you that much.
"I really do not feel like going shopping, I'm sorry," Chase told her.
Cameron: But I was going to hit up Hot Topic!
Cameron was going to argue with him some more but House finally walked in.
"As for why I'm late, I got lost on the road of life," House said before anyone to query about his absence. He poured himself a cup of coffee while Cameron told him about their current patient.
House: That is a horrible reason to be late. I should have said that the highway was jammed with broken heroes on a last-chance powerdrive, like the guy on the Sopranos.
Wilson: Or, you could have said that you were late because of The Sopranos.
House: The show, or the family?
Wilson: Or the actual singers.
"Forty five, male, presents with a rash on his back, low white count, and localized numbness. . ."
IIIII
"Chase you were so happy before," Cameron said as though it had been a far off dream. "What's changed?"
Cameron: The far off dream that my boyfriend was not a complete and total dickhead.
House: Freud would say that dream was wish fulfillment.
Wilson: Jung would say that dream heralded archetypes.
House: House would say Carmen Electra should have been in that dream somewhere, making out with Cameron.
"Nothing," He lied. If it were anyone other than Cameron they would have believed him but she knew Chase better than that.
House: I wouldn’t have believed him either. I don’t like his face.
Wilson: Yes you do. That’s actually why you hired him.
Chase was not going to tell Cameron the doubt he had of his fathering abilities. How would someone re-act to that?
Wilson: Probably with some improv games… or whatever they did when they acted the first time around.
She couldn't know how it felt to grow up with parents who didn't pass on the girt of parenting. Cameron couldn't know how he grew up not learning by example.
House: Yes she could… considering it’s been mentioned in the show?
Sure there were bits and pieces he remembered but they were always so distance and he didn't know how to relate to his own child. He could go through the motions but it wouldn't be the same.
Wilson: Try not to leave your baby on a train.
"Yes. Severe mood swings are normal for you," sarcastically she drawled. She looked up from her microscope to stare Chase in the eyes. "You can't fool me."
House: “Your nipples could be seen.”
"I'm not trying to fool anyone. I'm fine," Chase said sounding exhausted at her consistent prying. "Can you stop worrying for one second? I am a grown man. I can take care of my problems."
"Right, Mr. Fix It but I will use my authority as your girlfriend to tear at your ego until you finally admit you need help," Cameron informed him.
House: As long as it isn’t Jim’ll Fix It. That was the creepiest thing ever.
"Ouch. If you care so much you won't want to tear down anything."
"No pain, no gain."
House: And no ass, no gas.
Wilson: But possibly grass.
House: If you’re a cow.
IIIII
Chase was in the conference room waiting for Foreman to bring back the results for one of the many fungal disease's this could possibly be.
House: Fungal disease’s what?
Foreman: Its condo on the lake.
While he waited he was playing with Cameron's engagement ring that he still hadn't gotten the guts to bring out. It never seemed like the right time. He knew that he would love to get married soon but he was getting cold feet.
House: Hasn’t he been thinking of proposing the entire story so far?
What if he couldn't provide Cameron and their son/daughter everything they needed? What if she found someone she loved more? What if he screwed up and she never forgave him?
House: Good Lord, stop whining. She shouldn’t forgive you for whining all the time.
He carefully looked inside of the ring to their first child's name Cecelia carefully carved there in cursive, just like her mother's on the outside. Chase planned to have all of their future children - however many that may be - and have their names chiseled into the gold ring. He had a matching ring with his name on it and Cecelia's also. It cost a pretty penny but it would be worth it.
Wilson: Well, he is a doctor. It isn’t like money is that much of an object.
House: Please sir, may I have some more?
"Aw, you shouldn't have," House feigned joy as he limped over to the Aussie. "I prefer silver but gold is better."
House: Can I read this House/Chase slash instead?
Chase: You just want to get laid.
"Sorry, they're not for you," Chase smiled lightly.
Foreman: Good thing. One time he smiled darkly and… well, we don’t like to talk about what happened that day.
"Pssh. Gold is over-rated anyway," he scoffed. "So which one is for Cameron?"
"The one that has Allison inscribed on it," He said in a 'duh' tone, holding it out for House to look at.
The diagnostician examined it and found Cecelia's name on the inside. "Cool," was all he said when he handed it back. "When are you going to ask her?"
House: After he stops being a complete dickbag? Oh… Nope. That’s never going to happen.
"I don't know. It never seems like the right time."
House: See above.
"Of course it's never the right time," House said as though it were a fact. When Chase looked at him in a confused manner he explained. "There's never a right time for anything to happen. Things just happen. Do it at the most unexpected time. When she's in the shower or when she's clipping her toenails."
Chase: I do have that foot fetish.
"I don't know what to do. I mean, if we get married, how will I do?"
"Horrible at first but that's a fault us mortals have. We learn by experience. It sucks having to go through those first months of pregnancy. You guys had problems then because it was your second pregnancy after a failed one, and you'll have more problems on the way in a relationship. It's natures way of keeping us on our feet," House said not knowing if this was helping or hurting. Than again he didn't care too much either way. "But I think you'll make it. Don't make me a liar, either, or I'll have to deny we ever had this conversation."
House: Than again, I don’t usually talk like this.
"Like you would ever say you gave me advice."
"There's that," House shrugged. "Than again I'd be surprised if you listened to me."
Cameron: Than again, I would like a burger… more than… something else. Again.
"I listen to you more than you think."
"And I ignore you more than you think. Weird, huh?" House walked away on that sour note leaving Chase with his two rings wondering when he should make the move.
House: Get in her pants! Oh… wait…
We should be able to work through marriage pretty well, He thought trying to shove those self-defeatist thoughts to the dark side of his mind. We worked through Cecelia and Lillian. I know we're stronger than what anyone thinks. Even me.
Chase: I didn’t work through Lillian at all! Or anything!
IIIII
Chase wasn't going to propose that same night but he had hoped he and Cameron would have some alone time. Instead it was Mr. and Mrs. Cameron who were on their doorstep waiting for them to come home. They obviously wait a while, it was nine at night, but they seemed happy to see their daughter and Chase again.
Chase: God, Cameron, your parents are persistent.
Cameron: Not here? We’ll just camp the hell out.
"It's good to see you again sweetheart," Mr. Cameron said giving his not-so-tiny girl a brief hug. "How have you both been?"
"Working hard and waiting for the newest member of the Chase family."
"You're not going to have Cameron for the last name?" Mrs. Cameron sounded sad at the news.
Cameron: “Your boyfriend is a complete loser, Cam. Please escape while you can.”
"You two aren't even married yet. Why use his last name?" Mr. Cameron debated.
Chase: Why didn’t they have this argument back when she was pregnant the first time?
Cameron: They were waiting three days to have it, but I never came home.
"What's the special occasion?" Cameron asked quick to change the subject. She could tell that Chase was holding back his true feelings about their dismay.
"I missed my baby. Ever since you were attacked I've been thinking about you more and more," Mrs. Cameron said giving her daughter another hug before they headed inside. "I'm sorry we couldn't come right away. We needed to gather some money up but we're here now."
Cameron: Way to go Mom and Dad.
Chase: Why do they need to save up money when their daughter is a doctor? I mean, House paid that one guy’s entire mortgage payment like it was nothing. I think Cameron can afford Amtrak.
"Mom, really, you didn't need to do that. I'm fine," Cameron insisted.
"Who saved you?" Her mom asked curiously looking over to Chase who felt frozen in place.
Chase: Jesus.
House: Private Ryan.
It wasn't me, he shamefully admitted in his mind.
"The nurses," She said.
House: The Naughty Night Nurses.
Wilson: I preferred Throbbing Thermometer.
"Where was Chase?" Mr. Cameron asked with an accusing stare.
"He was in the lab," Cameron replied. "I'm sure if he knew he would have been there but, of course, the nurses were closer."
Chase knew that Mr. Cameron would have given another comment about the absence but his daughter had quickly changed the subject to how her doctor had finally said what gender the baby was.
Chase: I’m her boyfriend, not her bodyguard! How was I supposed to know…?
Cameron: Well, I think they did say he was violent before… or did they? At this point all I remember is that his name was Oscar and he was a real grouch all right.
"You didn't tell me yet," said Chase with surprise. He hadn't gone to her last appointment because Cuddy asked him to work in NICU due to a nurse having an emergency leave. He had been immensely regretful that he couldn't go but Cameron had said it would be okay. Now he wished he would have brushed off responsibility and gone with her.
House: Yeah, forget those dying babies. They’ll do fine.
Cameron: Chase makes an awful nurse anyway.
"I was saving it for a surprise during dinner," she explained. "Now that my parents are here it makes it so much better."
"So what is it?" Mrs. Cameron asked excitedly.
House: It’s a baby.
"It's a boy!" She exclaimed hugging her mother once again.
Chase stood there with a smile but felt a certain emptiness inside.
House: Surprise, surprise.
He didn't have any parents to share this joy with. They were both dead. Would they even care? Mom would have been too drunk and Dad would have given him a pleasant congrads then be off to some meeting. There wouldn't be any joy in that now would there?
House: Unless you named the kid Joy. Which, since he’s a boy, might be an issue.
Cameron gave him a kiss on the lips and held his hands in hers. "Ashton, wasn't it?"
"Yeah," He said with a smile looking her in her bright eyes. He gave her another kiss to show his glee for the news.
Cameron: Actually, I was just punking you.
Atleast he'd always have Cameron. Maybe that was all he needed.
House: And we’re almost at the end. I hope, at least. Dear God, I pray we’re almost at the end.
IIIII