Strange one-shot in which Twister is played
Chameron have guests.
The MST has House and Wilson post-season 8.
House and Wilson are sitting in a diner, somewhere in rural America.
House: Hey, they’ve got Wi-Fi!
Wilson: Do you need to check your Facebook?
House: No, although I did post a very sad status, something akin to “Sorry, I’m dead now. Toodles!”
Wilson: Oh. I guess it’s bad!fic time, then.
A/N- Not my usual story but thought of it when I saw a picture
House: Weeell, I’ve got a great feeling about this one.
and thought it would be interesting with this group of characters. Kind of out of character but hope you liked it!
Wilson: Why is she drawing attention to the fact it’s OOC?
House: She probably thinks it’ll make everything okay. “This fic sucks!” “But I said they were OOC!”
Messy Twister
Wilson: Yeah, that sounds about right.
Pairings- Cameron/Chase-
House: Whoa, blast from the past!
Forman/Thirteen-
Wilson: *wistfully* If Foreman was here, he’d be annoyed at the spelling of his name.
uddy/Wilson-Then Taub
House: Hey, maybe you’ve finally succeeded in making Cuddy Mrs. Wilson #5.
Wilson: Poor Taub, he gets my remains.
House: Dude, Cuddy dumped you for Taub. Harsh.
Wilson: Don’t worry, I’m not gonna drive a car into her house.
In the 3 years in marriage Allison and Robert still don't have kids
Wilson: As expected. They’d go crazy with little Chameron babies.
but live in a beautiful house. It allowed them to invite their friends over and have some fun.
House: If you know what I mean.
Wilson: Eww, I’m not swinging with them! You can have Cameron.
It was a typical night in for the couple they invited Eric Foreman, Remy Hadley 'Thirteen', James Wilson, Lisa Cuddy, and Chris Taub.
House: Wow, I wonder how they manage to work, if they invite everyone over every night. And where am I?
Dr. Gregory House was also invited but he of course turned down the offer.
House: Oh. Good.
The door bell rang and Allison went to answer it.
"Hey!" She said to the group.
"What's the plan for tonight?" Eric asked giving a hug to Allison.
Wilson: You see her every day, Foreman. Control yourself.
"Twister!" Allison said excited.
"Really?" Taub asked.
House: Taub is shocked they’re all apparently twelve.
"Yes I am surprised you all listened to me for what too wear." Allison said with a smile.
Wilson: Did they all come dressed in vests?
"You requested wear clothes you don't really care about."
House: What the hell are ‘wear clothes’? Is that like a werewolf? Like a kitchen cloth that turns into clothes?
Wilson: Also, why would she care about our clothes?
ames said who was supringly wearing a tshirt and sweatpants.
Wilson: *looks over his clothes*
House: You’re wearing a tie on a cross-country trip. You have a problem.
"Yeah why are we dressed like well going to the gym." Lisa asked confused.
House: Oh, I hope she’s wearing yoga pants!
"Oh we made it fun." Robert said entering the room with Jeans and an old T-Shirt.
Wilson: Okay, I imagine him entering naked, carrying the clothes in his hand.
House: Vivid imagination.
"How is twister not fun?" Remy asked. She couldn't wait to play she hasn't played since she was in college.
Wilson: Who plays Twister in college?!
House: Your mom, probably. That would explain why she’s so flexible. Oh snap!
Wilson: Really, House? She’s 80 years old.
"8 adults playing twister I better not break a bone." James said the group laughed a bit.
House: Oh, poor grandpa Jimmy.
"At least we are all doctors…..Just because we are adults don't mean we can't have fun." Remy added in.
Wilson: I keep waiting for an orgy to happen.
"Where is the twister mat?" Chris said looking around.
"Basement." Robert said they all followed him down
Wilson: Ah, there’s no orgy, but Chase is going to kill everybody in the basement.
and Allison was in back talking too Lisa about how having Greg not come let them change their plans a bit for the better.
House: Wow, thanks.
As they got a view of the basement there was a twister mat over a blue big outside tarp.
H&W: WTF?
"What's the tarp for?" James asked confused.
Wilson: Who’s confused, and what’s he doing at Chase’s party?
House: He’s a cousin from Australia. They don’t capitalize names there.
"OH MY GOSH YOU USED MY IDEA!" Remy said looking at Allison.
Wilson: OMG, I wish Thirteen was here. She’d want to choke a bitch.
es messy twister as in there is the color paint on the dots.
House: The narrator is certainly excited.
"I am definitely sitting out for this." James said.
House: Don’t be such a partypooper, Wilson.
Wilson: Imagine me going home, completely splashed in color!
House: You’d look even gayer than usual.
"I am too." Lisa said and they both took a seat on the couch that was behind him.
House: Aww! Now you pretend you have to yawn and place your arm over her shoulders!
"Oh my gosh guys you aren't too old for this if you think you are?" Remy said.
Wilson: Thirteen is certainly living up to her name.
Foreman and the rest just laughed.
House: Oh that Foreman! Such a sense of humour.
"I rather just spin."
"Yeah and I can help with the spinning too." Lisa said.
House: If you know what I mean.
Wilson: Stop saying that.
The rest of the gang started taking off their shoes and jackets.
Wilson: I knew it!
"Okay I want to go first!" Remy said.
House: Let her go first, she’s obviously developmentally challenged-
"I'll go 2nd then!" Allison said and Chris obviously decided to go last.
Wilson: ‘Obviously’?
House: I think he just wants to stare at their asses.
James took the spinner.
"Left hand blue, Right foot green." Remy started it didn't get complicated until it got to Chris's turn he was basically across the board making it very uncomfortable for Eric and even Robert.
House: I’m sure Chase is extra flexible. I bet he takes yoga classes.
The girls didn't really care for it. James was trying not to laugh but the minute Chris lost his footing and slipped making the entire group fall onto the messy mat of paint it was the end of the game.
House: Nice going, Taub.
Wilson: Still, he’s lying in paint, surrounded by half-naked chicks.
House: And Chase and Foreman. Mmm, dreamland.
"Wow smooth one Chris!" Remy said jokingly.
"Sorry told you I didn't want to play."
Wilson: No, that was me.
"Here why don't we all get a drink of beer and then we can do teams. This means Lisa and James you are playing." Robert added.
"There's an odd number of guys so I will sit out." James said they weren't going to argue and let it go.
House: Gosh, Wilson, why d’you have to be such a buzzkill?
After everyone finished one beer Pizza was ordered
House: Beer pizza? That sounds awesome!
Wilson: I think it’s just a missing comma.
and they played one more round of twister but that's when the doorbell rang.
Wilson: Maybe pizza-boy will join in on the orgy.
"I'll get it!" Allison said getting up making Lisa fall on her ass and Remy get her hair all full of paint.
House: I’m sure Cuddy’s ass softened the blow.
"Allison!" Lisa yelled laughing.
Wilson: You made me embarrass myself in front of my employees, teehee! You’re fired.
Allison looked back at her former boss, Yes former she stopped working at the hospital due to the fact Greg was being a jackass.
House: Sure. I’ve never had anyone quit because of that.
Wilson: She could stand you for three years, but suddenly it was too much?
"Sorry!" Allison said they both just laughed. Allison ran up the stairs and went to get the door. As she opened the door there stood Greg.
House: Am I the pizza boy?
"Why are you here?" Allison said.
Wilson: I thought they invited you?
"Oh Sorry I thought the party started now." Greg said it was already 9 and they were just about to call it all a night.
Wilson: At nine?
House: Yeah, someone’s gotta put Thirteen to bed. She’s got school in the morning.
"You said you weren't going to come I don't see why you are here?"
"Guess I changed my plans where is the party?" Greg said walking into the house. Allison sighed she really didn't want this man in her house.
Wilson: Wow, someone really doesn’t like you, House.
House: Oh get in line.
"Greg please leave." Allison said he looked at her.
House: Did she have a sex change?
"Why you don't want me to ruin your happy ending?"
House: Muahahah, I’m the Grinch, apparently.
"You have ruined enough." Allison said about to start yelling at him.
Wilson: Wow, she’s PMSing.
"Oh come on that was your fault, You know if you and Dr. Chase weren't fooling around in one of the rooms you would still be there." Greg said not adding anymore of the story.
House: Did I fire them or something?
"Leave I was having a goodnight!" Allison yelled.
Wilson: A goodnight kiss?
Greg then left the apartment he didn't say anything else.
House: Well, I’m a pushover.
Allison shut the door. Why did she open it in the first place
House: For the pizza boy, duh.
she was just going to forget any of this happened. She invited House well she had no clue why she invited him in the first place. She went back down stairs and Rob came over and gave her a big paint hug.
Wilson: Her front door is on the top floor?
House: They’re all with Psycho Chase in the basement, remember?
"Hey are you okay?" He looked at his wife concerned.
Wilson: Is concerned a relative of confused?
House: Well, whoever she is, it seems Chase is cheating on her with Cameron.
"Yea I am fine."
"Who was at the door?" Robert asked.
"It was no one important." Allison said not wanting to bring the topic up and ruin the night.
House: Too late.
Remy obviously could tell the stress between the two and decided to intervene.
Wilson: “Mommy, Daddy, are you fighting?”
House: Of course they don’t have any kids, Thirteen seems to be enough.
"Let's do one more round of twister it's the boys turn. Then we can all call it a night" Remy said smiling at Chris.
Wilson: Aww, Thirteen has a crush on Taub.
House: Well isn’t that cute, I hired a pedophile.
Wilson: He’s so short, she probably thinks he’s her age.
"Ah Crap we are totally losing this." He said all the guys just laughed.
House: Taub! Don’t swear, there’s a child in the room!
The gang left around 10:30 that night after they new the bottle of beer had warn off.
Wilson: I think the beer author!girl was drinking hasn’t ‘warn’ off yet.
House: I hope they didn’t let Thirteen drink.
Wilson: That’s getting old.
House: So are you. Oh snaaaaap!
Allison didn't drink much but it was only so she could drive home everyone.
Wilson: They drank one beer each. I doubt they’d gotten drunk.
Once she got back to the house everything was cleaned up.
House: Did Consuela come?
"You are an amazing husband you know that right?" Allison said laying down next too Robert on the bed.
Wilson: Ew, did she lay an egg?
"Yes and you are amazing wife I had a lot of fun tonight."
House: “All those poor unsuspecting doctors we killed!”
"Yes I thought it was a pretty cool idea. Remy was like a teenager though."
Wilson: You horrible person, Cameron! She has a serious medical condition!
"Wonder how much she had to drink?" Robert said laughing.
House: Yeah, minors drinking. It’s such a funny topic.
"Who knows." Allison said "I am tired but thank you."
"For what?" Robert asked pulling Allison into a hug kissing her forehead.
Wilson: Er, that’s a bit impossible.
"Just everything." Allison said and with that the couple went to bed.
House: Ew.
Thinking about the fun of tonight, it's been a while since the gang did things together
Wilson: I thought they did it every night.
and tonight definitely topped off all of them as the best.
House: You don’t need ‘as the best’. That’s generally what ‘topped’ means.
Wilson: Unless you’re talking about a different type of ‘topping’.
They shake their heads and continue eating.
The MST has House and Wilson post-season 8.
House and Wilson are sitting in a diner, somewhere in rural America.
House: Hey, they’ve got Wi-Fi!
Wilson: Do you need to check your Facebook?
House: No, although I did post a very sad status, something akin to “Sorry, I’m dead now. Toodles!”
Wilson: Oh. I guess it’s bad!fic time, then.
A/N- Not my usual story but thought of it when I saw a picture
House: Weeell, I’ve got a great feeling about this one.
and thought it would be interesting with this group of characters. Kind of out of character but hope you liked it!
Wilson: Why is she drawing attention to the fact it’s OOC?
House: She probably thinks it’ll make everything okay. “This fic sucks!” “But I said they were OOC!”
Messy Twister
Wilson: Yeah, that sounds about right.
Pairings- Cameron/Chase-
House: Whoa, blast from the past!
Forman/Thirteen-
Wilson: *wistfully* If Foreman was here, he’d be annoyed at the spelling of his name.
uddy/Wilson-Then Taub
House: Hey, maybe you’ve finally succeeded in making Cuddy Mrs. Wilson #5.
Wilson: Poor Taub, he gets my remains.
House: Dude, Cuddy dumped you for Taub. Harsh.
Wilson: Don’t worry, I’m not gonna drive a car into her house.
In the 3 years in marriage Allison and Robert still don't have kids
Wilson: As expected. They’d go crazy with little Chameron babies.
but live in a beautiful house. It allowed them to invite their friends over and have some fun.
House: If you know what I mean.
Wilson: Eww, I’m not swinging with them! You can have Cameron.
It was a typical night in for the couple they invited Eric Foreman, Remy Hadley 'Thirteen', James Wilson, Lisa Cuddy, and Chris Taub.
House: Wow, I wonder how they manage to work, if they invite everyone over every night. And where am I?
Dr. Gregory House was also invited but he of course turned down the offer.
House: Oh. Good.
The door bell rang and Allison went to answer it.
"Hey!" She said to the group.
"What's the plan for tonight?" Eric asked giving a hug to Allison.
Wilson: You see her every day, Foreman. Control yourself.
"Twister!" Allison said excited.
"Really?" Taub asked.
House: Taub is shocked they’re all apparently twelve.
"Yes I am surprised you all listened to me for what too wear." Allison said with a smile.
Wilson: Did they all come dressed in vests?
"You requested wear clothes you don't really care about."
House: What the hell are ‘wear clothes’? Is that like a werewolf? Like a kitchen cloth that turns into clothes?
Wilson: Also, why would she care about our clothes?
ames said who was supringly wearing a tshirt and sweatpants.
Wilson: *looks over his clothes*
House: You’re wearing a tie on a cross-country trip. You have a problem.
"Yeah why are we dressed like well going to the gym." Lisa asked confused.
House: Oh, I hope she’s wearing yoga pants!
"Oh we made it fun." Robert said entering the room with Jeans and an old T-Shirt.
Wilson: Okay, I imagine him entering naked, carrying the clothes in his hand.
House: Vivid imagination.
"How is twister not fun?" Remy asked. She couldn't wait to play she hasn't played since she was in college.
Wilson: Who plays Twister in college?!
House: Your mom, probably. That would explain why she’s so flexible. Oh snap!
Wilson: Really, House? She’s 80 years old.
"8 adults playing twister I better not break a bone." James said the group laughed a bit.
House: Oh, poor grandpa Jimmy.
"At least we are all doctors…..Just because we are adults don't mean we can't have fun." Remy added in.
Wilson: I keep waiting for an orgy to happen.
"Where is the twister mat?" Chris said looking around.
"Basement." Robert said they all followed him down
Wilson: Ah, there’s no orgy, but Chase is going to kill everybody in the basement.
and Allison was in back talking too Lisa about how having Greg not come let them change their plans a bit for the better.
House: Wow, thanks.
As they got a view of the basement there was a twister mat over a blue big outside tarp.
H&W: WTF?
"What's the tarp for?" James asked confused.
Wilson: Who’s confused, and what’s he doing at Chase’s party?
House: He’s a cousin from Australia. They don’t capitalize names there.
"OH MY GOSH YOU USED MY IDEA!" Remy said looking at Allison.
Wilson: OMG, I wish Thirteen was here. She’d want to choke a bitch.
es messy twister as in there is the color paint on the dots.
House: The narrator is certainly excited.
"I am definitely sitting out for this." James said.
House: Don’t be such a partypooper, Wilson.
Wilson: Imagine me going home, completely splashed in color!
House: You’d look even gayer than usual.
"I am too." Lisa said and they both took a seat on the couch that was behind him.
House: Aww! Now you pretend you have to yawn and place your arm over her shoulders!
"Oh my gosh guys you aren't too old for this if you think you are?" Remy said.
Wilson: Thirteen is certainly living up to her name.
Foreman and the rest just laughed.
House: Oh that Foreman! Such a sense of humour.
"I rather just spin."
"Yeah and I can help with the spinning too." Lisa said.
House: If you know what I mean.
Wilson: Stop saying that.
The rest of the gang started taking off their shoes and jackets.
Wilson: I knew it!
"Okay I want to go first!" Remy said.
House: Let her go first, she’s obviously developmentally challenged-
"I'll go 2nd then!" Allison said and Chris obviously decided to go last.
Wilson: ‘Obviously’?
House: I think he just wants to stare at their asses.
James took the spinner.
"Left hand blue, Right foot green." Remy started it didn't get complicated until it got to Chris's turn he was basically across the board making it very uncomfortable for Eric and even Robert.
House: I’m sure Chase is extra flexible. I bet he takes yoga classes.
The girls didn't really care for it. James was trying not to laugh but the minute Chris lost his footing and slipped making the entire group fall onto the messy mat of paint it was the end of the game.
House: Nice going, Taub.
Wilson: Still, he’s lying in paint, surrounded by half-naked chicks.
House: And Chase and Foreman. Mmm, dreamland.
"Wow smooth one Chris!" Remy said jokingly.
"Sorry told you I didn't want to play."
Wilson: No, that was me.
"Here why don't we all get a drink of beer and then we can do teams. This means Lisa and James you are playing." Robert added.
"There's an odd number of guys so I will sit out." James said they weren't going to argue and let it go.
House: Gosh, Wilson, why d’you have to be such a buzzkill?
After everyone finished one beer Pizza was ordered
House: Beer pizza? That sounds awesome!
Wilson: I think it’s just a missing comma.
and they played one more round of twister but that's when the doorbell rang.
Wilson: Maybe pizza-boy will join in on the orgy.
"I'll get it!" Allison said getting up making Lisa fall on her ass and Remy get her hair all full of paint.
House: I’m sure Cuddy’s ass softened the blow.
"Allison!" Lisa yelled laughing.
Wilson: You made me embarrass myself in front of my employees, teehee! You’re fired.
Allison looked back at her former boss, Yes former she stopped working at the hospital due to the fact Greg was being a jackass.
House: Sure. I’ve never had anyone quit because of that.
Wilson: She could stand you for three years, but suddenly it was too much?
"Sorry!" Allison said they both just laughed. Allison ran up the stairs and went to get the door. As she opened the door there stood Greg.
House: Am I the pizza boy?
"Why are you here?" Allison said.
Wilson: I thought they invited you?
"Oh Sorry I thought the party started now." Greg said it was already 9 and they were just about to call it all a night.
Wilson: At nine?
House: Yeah, someone’s gotta put Thirteen to bed. She’s got school in the morning.
"You said you weren't going to come I don't see why you are here?"
"Guess I changed my plans where is the party?" Greg said walking into the house. Allison sighed she really didn't want this man in her house.
Wilson: Wow, someone really doesn’t like you, House.
House: Oh get in line.
"Greg please leave." Allison said he looked at her.
House: Did she have a sex change?
"Why you don't want me to ruin your happy ending?"
House: Muahahah, I’m the Grinch, apparently.
"You have ruined enough." Allison said about to start yelling at him.
Wilson: Wow, she’s PMSing.
"Oh come on that was your fault, You know if you and Dr. Chase weren't fooling around in one of the rooms you would still be there." Greg said not adding anymore of the story.
House: Did I fire them or something?
"Leave I was having a goodnight!" Allison yelled.
Wilson: A goodnight kiss?
Greg then left the apartment he didn't say anything else.
House: Well, I’m a pushover.
Allison shut the door. Why did she open it in the first place
House: For the pizza boy, duh.
she was just going to forget any of this happened. She invited House well she had no clue why she invited him in the first place. She went back down stairs and Rob came over and gave her a big paint hug.
Wilson: Her front door is on the top floor?
House: They’re all with Psycho Chase in the basement, remember?
"Hey are you okay?" He looked at his wife concerned.
Wilson: Is concerned a relative of confused?
House: Well, whoever she is, it seems Chase is cheating on her with Cameron.
"Yea I am fine."
"Who was at the door?" Robert asked.
"It was no one important." Allison said not wanting to bring the topic up and ruin the night.
House: Too late.
Remy obviously could tell the stress between the two and decided to intervene.
Wilson: “Mommy, Daddy, are you fighting?”
House: Of course they don’t have any kids, Thirteen seems to be enough.
"Let's do one more round of twister it's the boys turn. Then we can all call it a night" Remy said smiling at Chris.
Wilson: Aww, Thirteen has a crush on Taub.
House: Well isn’t that cute, I hired a pedophile.
Wilson: He’s so short, she probably thinks he’s her age.
"Ah Crap we are totally losing this." He said all the guys just laughed.
House: Taub! Don’t swear, there’s a child in the room!
The gang left around 10:30 that night after they new the bottle of beer had warn off.
Wilson: I think the beer author!girl was drinking hasn’t ‘warn’ off yet.
House: I hope they didn’t let Thirteen drink.
Wilson: That’s getting old.
House: So are you. Oh snaaaaap!
Allison didn't drink much but it was only so she could drive home everyone.
Wilson: They drank one beer each. I doubt they’d gotten drunk.
Once she got back to the house everything was cleaned up.
House: Did Consuela come?
"You are an amazing husband you know that right?" Allison said laying down next too Robert on the bed.
Wilson: Ew, did she lay an egg?
"Yes and you are amazing wife I had a lot of fun tonight."
House: “All those poor unsuspecting doctors we killed!”
"Yes I thought it was a pretty cool idea. Remy was like a teenager though."
Wilson: You horrible person, Cameron! She has a serious medical condition!
"Wonder how much she had to drink?" Robert said laughing.
House: Yeah, minors drinking. It’s such a funny topic.
"Who knows." Allison said "I am tired but thank you."
"For what?" Robert asked pulling Allison into a hug kissing her forehead.
Wilson: Er, that’s a bit impossible.
"Just everything." Allison said and with that the couple went to bed.
House: Ew.
Thinking about the fun of tonight, it's been a while since the gang did things together
Wilson: I thought they did it every night.
and tonight definitely topped off all of them as the best.
House: You don’t need ‘as the best’. That’s generally what ‘topped’ means.
Wilson: Unless you’re talking about a different type of ‘topping’.
They shake their heads and continue eating.