Posting on behalf of Demonka
Title: It Doesn't Matter
Author: demoka @ house_femfest
Rating: NC-17
Prompt: 57. Cuddy/Cameron- One is in love; one just wishes she
was.
Disclaimer: No ownership of the House MD characters herein is
claimed. All House MD characters are the intellectual property of David
Shore et al.
Spoilers (if applicable)
Summary: Cameron doesn’t understand why she doesn’t want to be
with Cuddy like she should. Angst of some sort with a strange ending.
Word Count: 1,242
Cameron flips herself off Cuddy, not the one for cuddles after sex.
Cuddy doesn’t seem to mind as she regains her breath, heart pounding and
groin throbbing. Cameron turns on her side to check the time.
‘I love you.’
Cameron clenches her eyes shut, thankful she has her back to Cuddy. She
barely stops herself from hunching her shoulders in reaction to that
phrase. That dreaded phrase she hoped would never come. She should have
expected it. She has always been nice and loving to Cuddy.
‘Allison, I love you.’
Why is she still talking? Now that she thinks about it, Cameron has
never ever called Lisa Cuddy by her first name. Not after they kissed,
not even after they had fucked. Maybe Cuddy had thought they were making
love. Didn’t Cuddy find it strange that she never called her Lisa?
Initially Cameron had expected their encounter outside of work to be a
one night stand. She didn’t think she would actually agree to meet Cuddy
again, for dinner or otherwise. Logically, Cameron should be in love
with Cuddy and want to spend time and do couple-ly things with her, but
she doesn’t. Other than Cuddy being a woman, she was the perfect
fairytale partner Cameron should be looking for.
Cameron had always been attracted to Cuddy, that’s the truth. Previously
she’s often fantasized about a life with Cuddy. Now that she’s here, in
a seemingly relationship with said Dean of Medicine, she doesn’t think
it’s where she really wants to be right now.
‘It’s okay. I don’t expect you to reply.’
Cameron blinks in relief, until Cuddy amends her sentence.
‘Just yet, anyways. A bit early I suppose, but I just wanted you to know
that.’
Cameron nods and turns back to face Cuddy, kissing her tenderly.
‘Sorry, I’m still a little wary…’
Cameron feels the need to reassure Cuddy of something she wishes she
felt.
‘Don’t worry, I understand.’
Cuddy thinks she does, but Cameron KNOWS that she doesn’t. Cameron isn’t
actually thinking of her dead husband. Cameron isn’t even thinking about
her previous pining over House. Cameron is wondering why she doesn’t
return Cuddy’s feelings. When she asked Cuddy out the second time, she
believed it was because she wanted to pursue a relationship. However,
thinking back on it now, she never did say “Lisa, will you date me?”.
Instead she said “Go on a date with me?”.
‘Won’t you shower with me, Allison?’
Cuddy is giving her a heated stare and a come hither expression was
embedded in her face and body language. Despite herself and her
misgivings of her feelings, Cameron slides off the bed and joins Cuddy
in the bathroom. Cuddy’s bathroom. Cameron hates herself sometimes. She
hates her inability to just be true and real. Sure, her emotions get in
the way of her profession on the odd occasion, yet they always take a
back seat in her personal life. She wonders how much simpler her
situation would be if she could just feel like she is in love with
Cuddy. Sure, she enjoys spending time with her, making her laugh,
fucking her…
Cuddy’s wandering hands break up her reverie. Cameron reacts to Cuddy’s
strong grasping of her hips, leaning back into her soft breasts, her own
hands behind her to grip Cuddy’s arse and pull her closer. She wonders
if Cuddy would be so eager to touch her if she knew Cameron was still
fucking Chase on the side on Monday nights. Even after Chase’s desire to
be closer, Cameron knew that even he knew that they would never be. Of
course, he didn’t care; he just wanted the scraps of what could have
been. Cameron stopped trying to dissuade him after the first five times,
admitting to herself that it was thrilling to sneak fucks in between
cases. That was then, now it was even easier as she quit House’s team
after Chase was fired.
Even though at first Cuddy had thought it easier to meet up with her
during work hours to harmlessly flirt, Cameron thanked House for his
antics to keep Cuddy occupied enough of the time. Cameron felt terrible
every time Cuddy apologised to her, as if it were her fault that House
was taking up all her time during work hours, as if Cameron was annoyed
about it. Cameron often tried to shut her up by kissing her. This
usually leads to heavy make out sessions.
-------
Chase is so excited to finally be allowed to go to Cameron’s apartment.
He actually thinks that this is his reward for being willing to settle
for fucking her secretly at work. Cameron rolls her eyes at his eager,
bouncy steps and unlocks her door.
Cuddy is away on a trip so she has no qualms about letting him accompany
her home tonight. Also, House is still lurking at the hospital. Cameron
isn’t exactly sure why, but he gave her a sarcastic answer about trying
to get Wilson and Nurse Brenda to have a threesome with him. Cameron
wonders if he had finally overdosed on Vicodin. Very possibly. She
pities his new slaves for the morning.
Oh yes, that’s right. Chase’s stubble and insistent, but fumbling
groping has reminded her where she is. Without her realising, he is
already naked. Well, he’s not exactly a model from those magazines she
frequently buys, but she finds his accent sexy, even if other people
think he’s slurring most of the time. Just before she grabs his
excitement, the apartment door clicks open and in steps the Dean of
Medicine. Cameron knew there was a reason why she had previously
insisted that they not have sex on the couch. Cuddy was coming home
early, that was the message she had left in Cameron’s voicemail.
Cuddy turns to leave.
‘Lisa! Wait, I can explain!’
Cameron doesn’t even bother to try to cover herself, leaping up towards
Cuddy. They both ignore the hapless Chase who is still in shock from
been seen stark naked by the Dean of Medicine. He whimpers at the
thought of being fired again and silently gets dressed and leaves.
Cameron’s desperation to placate her girlfriend was impeded by Cuddy’s
wry grin.
‘You know, that’s the first time you’ve called me Lisa.’
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you like this.’
‘Did you really think I didn’t know?’
Cameron gapes, not knowing quite how to answer.
‘Sure, I didn’t know he was coming here to your place, but I sure knew
it was happening at work. Or did you think I wouldn’t notice that your
lipstick was somewhat smeared, or your hair a tad crooked from such a
hasty finger combing?’
Cuddy grimaces then gives Cameron one of the gentlest smiles she had
ever seen, let alone received. It would probably inspire old grannies to
be even more sickeningly sweet to their bratty grandchildren.
‘I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself. This is my decision. Despite
our lack of…. mutual desires, I still love you. In some way you make me
happy and this is what I want right now. If I can’t take the fact that
you are seeing other people on the side, then it is my responsibility to
break up with you.’
Cameron’s eyes are wide and confused but she dutifully closes her mouth
at Cuddy’s soft touch.
‘Okay.’
Cuddy kisses her cheek.
‘Tell me this though, you HAVE been using protection the whole time,
right?’
THE END
--
|<1/\/\51/\/\D1/\/\
Author: demoka @ house_femfest
Rating: NC-17
Prompt: 57. Cuddy/Cameron- One is in love; one just wishes she
was.
Disclaimer: No ownership of the House MD characters herein is
claimed. All House MD characters are the intellectual property of David
Shore et al.
Spoilers (if applicable)
Summary: Cameron doesn’t understand why she doesn’t want to be
with Cuddy like she should. Angst of some sort with a strange ending.
Word Count: 1,242
Cameron flips herself off Cuddy, not the one for cuddles after sex.
Cuddy doesn’t seem to mind as she regains her breath, heart pounding and
groin throbbing. Cameron turns on her side to check the time.
‘I love you.’
Cameron clenches her eyes shut, thankful she has her back to Cuddy. She
barely stops herself from hunching her shoulders in reaction to that
phrase. That dreaded phrase she hoped would never come. She should have
expected it. She has always been nice and loving to Cuddy.
‘Allison, I love you.’
Why is she still talking? Now that she thinks about it, Cameron has
never ever called Lisa Cuddy by her first name. Not after they kissed,
not even after they had fucked. Maybe Cuddy had thought they were making
love. Didn’t Cuddy find it strange that she never called her Lisa?
Initially Cameron had expected their encounter outside of work to be a
one night stand. She didn’t think she would actually agree to meet Cuddy
again, for dinner or otherwise. Logically, Cameron should be in love
with Cuddy and want to spend time and do couple-ly things with her, but
she doesn’t. Other than Cuddy being a woman, she was the perfect
fairytale partner Cameron should be looking for.
Cameron had always been attracted to Cuddy, that’s the truth. Previously
she’s often fantasized about a life with Cuddy. Now that she’s here, in
a seemingly relationship with said Dean of Medicine, she doesn’t think
it’s where she really wants to be right now.
‘It’s okay. I don’t expect you to reply.’
Cameron blinks in relief, until Cuddy amends her sentence.
‘Just yet, anyways. A bit early I suppose, but I just wanted you to know
that.’
Cameron nods and turns back to face Cuddy, kissing her tenderly.
‘Sorry, I’m still a little wary…’
Cameron feels the need to reassure Cuddy of something she wishes she
felt.
‘Don’t worry, I understand.’
Cuddy thinks she does, but Cameron KNOWS that she doesn’t. Cameron isn’t
actually thinking of her dead husband. Cameron isn’t even thinking about
her previous pining over House. Cameron is wondering why she doesn’t
return Cuddy’s feelings. When she asked Cuddy out the second time, she
believed it was because she wanted to pursue a relationship. However,
thinking back on it now, she never did say “Lisa, will you date me?”.
Instead she said “Go on a date with me?”.
‘Won’t you shower with me, Allison?’
Cuddy is giving her a heated stare and a come hither expression was
embedded in her face and body language. Despite herself and her
misgivings of her feelings, Cameron slides off the bed and joins Cuddy
in the bathroom. Cuddy’s bathroom. Cameron hates herself sometimes. She
hates her inability to just be true and real. Sure, her emotions get in
the way of her profession on the odd occasion, yet they always take a
back seat in her personal life. She wonders how much simpler her
situation would be if she could just feel like she is in love with
Cuddy. Sure, she enjoys spending time with her, making her laugh,
fucking her…
Cuddy’s wandering hands break up her reverie. Cameron reacts to Cuddy’s
strong grasping of her hips, leaning back into her soft breasts, her own
hands behind her to grip Cuddy’s arse and pull her closer. She wonders
if Cuddy would be so eager to touch her if she knew Cameron was still
fucking Chase on the side on Monday nights. Even after Chase’s desire to
be closer, Cameron knew that even he knew that they would never be. Of
course, he didn’t care; he just wanted the scraps of what could have
been. Cameron stopped trying to dissuade him after the first five times,
admitting to herself that it was thrilling to sneak fucks in between
cases. That was then, now it was even easier as she quit House’s team
after Chase was fired.
Even though at first Cuddy had thought it easier to meet up with her
during work hours to harmlessly flirt, Cameron thanked House for his
antics to keep Cuddy occupied enough of the time. Cameron felt terrible
every time Cuddy apologised to her, as if it were her fault that House
was taking up all her time during work hours, as if Cameron was annoyed
about it. Cameron often tried to shut her up by kissing her. This
usually leads to heavy make out sessions.
-------
Chase is so excited to finally be allowed to go to Cameron’s apartment.
He actually thinks that this is his reward for being willing to settle
for fucking her secretly at work. Cameron rolls her eyes at his eager,
bouncy steps and unlocks her door.
Cuddy is away on a trip so she has no qualms about letting him accompany
her home tonight. Also, House is still lurking at the hospital. Cameron
isn’t exactly sure why, but he gave her a sarcastic answer about trying
to get Wilson and Nurse Brenda to have a threesome with him. Cameron
wonders if he had finally overdosed on Vicodin. Very possibly. She
pities his new slaves for the morning.
Oh yes, that’s right. Chase’s stubble and insistent, but fumbling
groping has reminded her where she is. Without her realising, he is
already naked. Well, he’s not exactly a model from those magazines she
frequently buys, but she finds his accent sexy, even if other people
think he’s slurring most of the time. Just before she grabs his
excitement, the apartment door clicks open and in steps the Dean of
Medicine. Cameron knew there was a reason why she had previously
insisted that they not have sex on the couch. Cuddy was coming home
early, that was the message she had left in Cameron’s voicemail.
Cuddy turns to leave.
‘Lisa! Wait, I can explain!’
Cameron doesn’t even bother to try to cover herself, leaping up towards
Cuddy. They both ignore the hapless Chase who is still in shock from
been seen stark naked by the Dean of Medicine. He whimpers at the
thought of being fired again and silently gets dressed and leaves.
Cameron’s desperation to placate her girlfriend was impeded by Cuddy’s
wry grin.
‘You know, that’s the first time you’ve called me Lisa.’
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you like this.’
‘Did you really think I didn’t know?’
Cameron gapes, not knowing quite how to answer.
‘Sure, I didn’t know he was coming here to your place, but I sure knew
it was happening at work. Or did you think I wouldn’t notice that your
lipstick was somewhat smeared, or your hair a tad crooked from such a
hasty finger combing?’
Cuddy grimaces then gives Cameron one of the gentlest smiles she had
ever seen, let alone received. It would probably inspire old grannies to
be even more sickeningly sweet to their bratty grandchildren.
‘I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself. This is my decision. Despite
our lack of…. mutual desires, I still love you. In some way you make me
happy and this is what I want right now. If I can’t take the fact that
you are seeing other people on the side, then it is my responsibility to
break up with you.’
Cameron’s eyes are wide and confused but she dutifully closes her mouth
at Cuddy’s soft touch.
‘Okay.’
Cuddy kisses her cheek.
‘Tell me this though, you HAVE been using protection the whole time,
right?’
THE END
--
|<1/\/\51/\/\D1/\/\