Reposted from OkCupid: Rant
Writing a profile or an ad on a site like [OKCupid] is like navigating a minefield.
You can't appear desperate, but too much confidence will scare people away. You can't lie, but you can't be too honest, either. If you state many preferences, people think you're too picky. If you don't state many preferences, people think you aren't picky enough.
Admit your faults, and people think you just want someone to feel sorry for you. Extol your virtues, and they think you're arrogant. Post webcam pics and people think you have no friends. Post pics with too many people in the background and people think you're obviously too busy for a relationship.
Say that you smoke, are unemployed, have kids, or that you're overweight, and most people won't look any further, even if you could be the next great love of their lives. Leave the answers blank, and people assume you're hiding something because you're ashamed.
I'm just as guilty as everyone else who looks at these profiles. I'm just as selective and just as easily intimidated, even though I know a person's profile barely scratches the surface of who they really are. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we continue to do it? Why am I even here?
I'm here, and you're here, because Internet sites like these give us something like hope. In filling out all the little forms and fields, checking off the radio buttons and selecting from drop-down menus, we feel like we're doing some sort of "work", for which we may be rewarded. It isn't so different than creating a resume on a job site. We pour out our hearts and put ourselves out there, hoping the right person will read our profiles ad just the right time. The chances of any connection being made are slim, but still, we hang onto that pseudo-hope.
At least on OKC, we don't pay for it.
(P.S. - Being single sucks.)
You can't appear desperate, but too much confidence will scare people away. You can't lie, but you can't be too honest, either. If you state many preferences, people think you're too picky. If you don't state many preferences, people think you aren't picky enough.
Admit your faults, and people think you just want someone to feel sorry for you. Extol your virtues, and they think you're arrogant. Post webcam pics and people think you have no friends. Post pics with too many people in the background and people think you're obviously too busy for a relationship.
Say that you smoke, are unemployed, have kids, or that you're overweight, and most people won't look any further, even if you could be the next great love of their lives. Leave the answers blank, and people assume you're hiding something because you're ashamed.
I'm just as guilty as everyone else who looks at these profiles. I'm just as selective and just as easily intimidated, even though I know a person's profile barely scratches the surface of who they really are. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we continue to do it? Why am I even here?
I'm here, and you're here, because Internet sites like these give us something like hope. In filling out all the little forms and fields, checking off the radio buttons and selecting from drop-down menus, we feel like we're doing some sort of "work", for which we may be rewarded. It isn't so different than creating a resume on a job site. We pour out our hearts and put ourselves out there, hoping the right person will read our profiles ad just the right time. The chances of any connection being made are slim, but still, we hang onto that pseudo-hope.
At least on OKC, we don't pay for it.
(P.S. - Being single sucks.)