Crazy, not stupid.
My shrink had her lackey call me for a second time to make sure I understood why she put me on lithium. "It's because of those, you know- ups and downs you've been feeling," she said.
*facepalm*
I didn't magically become bipolar Wednesday morning when Dr. Nanjundiah diagnosed me. I'm perfectly aware of what bipolar is and what the symptoms are. What I have been experiencing lately are symptoms atypical for me. That's why I felt it was necessary to move my appointment up.
I feel that I wasn't listened to. As soon as she handed down that differential diagnosis, everything else I said flew right out the window. Again, I'm not arguing with her diagnosis. Yes. Ok. Bipolar. Lithium is for people with bipolar disorder. I get it.
In my appointment, I asked, "Will lithium help with my panic attacks or sleep problems?" She said, "No. It's for the mood swings."
Maybe I'm missing something. Maybe she thinks the panic is part of a manic episode. I suppose that's possible, but if that's the case, why didn't she say so? I think the symptoms that are really causing me grief right now are from GAD and PTSD, both of which she mentioned as part of my diagnosis, but chose to ignore in the treatment plan.
I told the doctor and the patient representative person, three times, that I am not arguing with the diagnosis or trying to be obstinate. I just want to exhaust my other options before resorting to lithium. I feel I am not being respected, and it's becoming tiring.
On the upside, I was able to "think myself out of" a panic attack yesterday, and I've gone 36 hours without resorting to klonopin. I'm on day 2 of 30mg of Lexapro in the morning instead of at night. For the last 3 nights I've left soft ambient music on as I went to sleep, and all of these things seem to be helping. The fact that the sun is out again and the snow is finally melting is a bonus.
And despite all of the shit that's been going on in my head, I'm getting A's in all my classes. I continue to get positive feedback from all my professors, and I'm doing my best to stay active socially. I think I'm actually doing fairly well without kidney-destroying drugs.
*facepalm*
I didn't magically become bipolar Wednesday morning when Dr. Nanjundiah diagnosed me. I'm perfectly aware of what bipolar is and what the symptoms are. What I have been experiencing lately are symptoms atypical for me. That's why I felt it was necessary to move my appointment up.
I feel that I wasn't listened to. As soon as she handed down that differential diagnosis, everything else I said flew right out the window. Again, I'm not arguing with her diagnosis. Yes. Ok. Bipolar. Lithium is for people with bipolar disorder. I get it.
In my appointment, I asked, "Will lithium help with my panic attacks or sleep problems?" She said, "No. It's for the mood swings."
Maybe I'm missing something. Maybe she thinks the panic is part of a manic episode. I suppose that's possible, but if that's the case, why didn't she say so? I think the symptoms that are really causing me grief right now are from GAD and PTSD, both of which she mentioned as part of my diagnosis, but chose to ignore in the treatment plan.
I told the doctor and the patient representative person, three times, that I am not arguing with the diagnosis or trying to be obstinate. I just want to exhaust my other options before resorting to lithium. I feel I am not being respected, and it's becoming tiring.
On the upside, I was able to "think myself out of" a panic attack yesterday, and I've gone 36 hours without resorting to klonopin. I'm on day 2 of 30mg of Lexapro in the morning instead of at night. For the last 3 nights I've left soft ambient music on as I went to sleep, and all of these things seem to be helping. The fact that the sun is out again and the snow is finally melting is a bonus.
And despite all of the shit that's been going on in my head, I'm getting A's in all my classes. I continue to get positive feedback from all my professors, and I'm doing my best to stay active socially. I think I'm actually doing fairly well without kidney-destroying drugs.