What a craptastic week.
It's Thursday evening. I'm done with classes for the week. I'm totally exhausted, not from classes but from my own emotional roller-coaster.
In addition to last weekend's stuff, my counselor, whom I just started seeing, called me Monday night to "break up with me." In a bizarre coincidence, his wife happens to be in charge of hiring and evaluation for the Townhall II volunteer/internship position I'm considering applying for.
The problem, he feels, is that since his wife would be evaluating me on the job, I might think it's because he told her something about me. No amount of reassurance from me that I could, in fact, trust him and deal with any issues that came up seemed to make him comfortable.
Even though I've decided I probably won't pursue the position this semester due to the significant time commitment (60-plus hours of training before I can actually start the work,) I feel it's probably best for me to find another counselor as he suggested. If he's that uncomfortable with it, it's going to affect how he treats me as a client, and that's not fair to me.
So now I have to figure out somewhere else to go. He assures me that I can still see the psychiatrist at Coleman (where he works,) so at least I don't have to worry about that. I'll probably end up seeing a grad student intern at the psych clinic here on campus, which would be more convenient for me anyway.
On top of all of this, I'm having somewhat of a spiritual crisis. I was so upset from what happened last weekend that I ended up not going to church on Sunday, and then I started wondering why I was really going. Is Unitarian Universalism really "empty," as some call it, because it has no dogma to adhere to?
I am missing something. I feel like the UU church is great, but only fulfills part of what I'm searching for. The fellowship is nice, the music is fun, and the pastor is insightful and inspiring. Yet, I don't feel I have as much to bring to the church as some other people do.
I did something kinda crazy last night. I went to the Kent Navs group, a bunch of shiny happy Christians that even a few months ago I'd have avoided like the plague. I felt strange sitting among them. This crowd of a hundred or so students had braved the ridiculous weather to come together and sing about Jesus, and hear a local pastor read scripture.
The subject of the sermon was "finding rest in God." Feeling exhausted in body, mind, and spirit, I envied them. Finding "rest." It sounded so nice. Would that it were really that simple. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss. I make fun of these sheep, but what if they're all genuinely happier than I am, than I could ever be? It doesn't seem fair.
In addition to last weekend's stuff, my counselor, whom I just started seeing, called me Monday night to "break up with me." In a bizarre coincidence, his wife happens to be in charge of hiring and evaluation for the Townhall II volunteer/internship position I'm considering applying for.
The problem, he feels, is that since his wife would be evaluating me on the job, I might think it's because he told her something about me. No amount of reassurance from me that I could, in fact, trust him and deal with any issues that came up seemed to make him comfortable.
Even though I've decided I probably won't pursue the position this semester due to the significant time commitment (60-plus hours of training before I can actually start the work,) I feel it's probably best for me to find another counselor as he suggested. If he's that uncomfortable with it, it's going to affect how he treats me as a client, and that's not fair to me.
So now I have to figure out somewhere else to go. He assures me that I can still see the psychiatrist at Coleman (where he works,) so at least I don't have to worry about that. I'll probably end up seeing a grad student intern at the psych clinic here on campus, which would be more convenient for me anyway.
On top of all of this, I'm having somewhat of a spiritual crisis. I was so upset from what happened last weekend that I ended up not going to church on Sunday, and then I started wondering why I was really going. Is Unitarian Universalism really "empty," as some call it, because it has no dogma to adhere to?
I am missing something. I feel like the UU church is great, but only fulfills part of what I'm searching for. The fellowship is nice, the music is fun, and the pastor is insightful and inspiring. Yet, I don't feel I have as much to bring to the church as some other people do.
I did something kinda crazy last night. I went to the Kent Navs group, a bunch of shiny happy Christians that even a few months ago I'd have avoided like the plague. I felt strange sitting among them. This crowd of a hundred or so students had braved the ridiculous weather to come together and sing about Jesus, and hear a local pastor read scripture.
The subject of the sermon was "finding rest in God." Feeling exhausted in body, mind, and spirit, I envied them. Finding "rest." It sounded so nice. Would that it were really that simple. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss. I make fun of these sheep, but what if they're all genuinely happier than I am, than I could ever be? It doesn't seem fair.