Chapter 12: Love, Sex, and Money
[the beginning]
Though it cost ten crowns to do so, Sue bought a carriage to the Earl Bergamot's castle. She hoped seeing the Earl would work out to their advantage, though she had to admit that it couldn't possibly hinder their progress any more than throwing their money to the beggars would. Still, it was better than walking, and she wanted to avoid much more of that.
They arrived in just under two days, just before the sun set on the Earl's castle. It was awe-inspiring to see it in person, even for someone who was tired of kingdom life.
One of the castle guards met their carriage at the gates. "What is your business with the Earl?"
"We seek permission to cross to The Other Side," Sue explained.
"Do you have an appointment?"
"I was told hardships could be granted in special cases. Will the Earl hear our case or not?"
"Who is asking?"
"Lord Hound of kol B'Sedek," Hound interrupted.
The guard gave Hound a once-over, considering this with great interest. "I shall notify the Earl of your arrival."
Sue shot Hound a smile of appreciation. Perhaps this would work out after all!
The three disembarked from the carriage and were escorted into the courtyards. If time hadn't been a concern, she would have enjoyed taking in the sights, perhaps exploring every nook and cranny like a small child might. As it was, her attentioned remained focused on the task at hand, though the usual paranoia loomed in the back of her mind. It made her wonder who was really the lost child here.
As the guard led them into the great hall, Sue was astonished to see so many people filling the room. She hadn't realized they would have the entire court as audience to their hardship case. Two of the court in particular, she noticed, paid great attention to them.
"Lord Hound," the Earl greeted, "it is good to see you again! How fare you in your quest?"
"If you mean the quest to avenge my family, I've put it on hold."
Some members of the court stirred at the news. "Do I hear you correctly, my boy?" he asked with notable interest. "You now have greater priorities than vengeance?"
"I mean the greatest of respect toward my family, my liege, but no vengeance will bring them back, no matter when I may extract it. Time is of the essence, however-we must cross to The Other Side."
"We...?" The Earl scratched his chin in what appeared to Sue to be amusement. "Well, you came to me to present your case, and I am your captive audience."
Hound bowed in earnest. "This child was abandoned by her father and left in this good lady's care. She knows the family has crossed to The Other Side but cannot manage the trip by herself."
"Why can the child not be sent alone?"
Sue worried this would ruin everything. She cleared her throat, trying to make herself sound as authoritative yet straightfoward as possible. "The girl is only three years old. She has known almost no other guardian but myself, and she is deathly afraid of strangers. It would kill her to be separated from me, much less travel without my presence."
The Earl seemed to consider this. "Then why would Lord Hound need to accompany you, my good lady?"
"Because I promised her I would," he interrupted, "and I wish to honour my word."
Murmurs spread among the members of the court, and it made Sue self-conscious. Certainly the girl didn't like it any more than she did, from how tightly the pest was latching onto her shirt. "My liege, if I may ask," she ventured, "is it possible to gain a private audience... or at least, a smaller one?"
The Earl nodded, standing. "Usually I do take cases myself, but my lord here has been in the habit of making a scene."
She glared at Hound, to which he could only shrug, dumbfounded.
"If the three of you will follow me," the Earl ordered, lumbering toward a side chamber of the great hall. He paused before two of the court, a lady and her guard, speaking with them at an inaudible level. Sue remembered them as the ones particularly interested in their case, more so than the other members of the court. As they approached, however, the two quieted and stepped aside to let them pass. Sue could tell they had a deeper interest than mere gossip, though, and it made her wary.
"Hound," the Earl said as he closed the doors behind them and each took a seat, "I'm interested in knowing just what has happened in these years since I last saw you that has changed your mind as it has. You're almost twenty-one now, aren't you?"
"Yes, my liege, though I must admit I truthfully can't remember the last time we met."
"My boy!" he remarked. "Your father took the greatest pride in telling me you had a perfect memory! How could it be you don't remember crashing into my hall and declaring you wanted to cross in pursuit of your family's killer?"
The expression on Hound's face suggested that he was trying to remember this incident, despite the fact he couldn't. "You see, my liege, a little over a year ago, I received a near-fatal blow to the head. I don't remember anything prior to that event, and everything I know now is the result of a little over a year of learning everything again."
The room fell into an awkward silence at his words. "Dear boy, but that means-"
"-I don't remember my family, no." It was clear the Earl had trouble processing this information. He started to say something, but Hound interrupted again. "Who is at the door, my liege? I don't mind if they overhear, but it would be more polite to be invited in."
"Ah." The Earl smirked in discomfort. "You don't remember them, it seems, but they remember you. You could hardly blame us if we feel concerned for your behaviour. After all, your life in the last five years hasn't exactly been what any of us could consider normal, right?"
"I suppose not, my liege."
"Well, in any case, I'll get straight to the point. What you said is the truth-vengeance will not change the past or bring back the dead. What of the future, though? What do you see coming of accompanying this girl and her guardian to The Other Side?"
"I see the honour of fulfilling my word and promise, my liege. No more, no less."
"What are you going to do upon finding this girl's family?"
Hound paused, as though pondering his words, and Sue found herself having to look away. "If possible, I would like to stay with her until she is properly acclimated... even if it means until death."
The Earl raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Are you speaking of the girl... or her guardian?"
Hound remained silent. Sue was starting to wish she hadn't asked for a private audience.
"I don't mean to say it would be a bad decision, my boy," the Earl prompted. "Perhaps it will be good for you, should you pass the test. I just find it hard to believe you would pursue vengeance so violently, then turn straight around and travel an entirely different course."
"My liege, when I learned of my past life, of the old Hound..." He swallowed in discomfort before continuing. "I had a happy life before I learned who I was. Finding out destroyed that happiness. Even when I wanted to pretend I had never been who I was, my past came back to haunt me in the form of that killer, and I had to throw away that life in order to spare the family who raised me.
"Even if I don't pursue that killer, he will still try to kill me, as he believes I want to kill him. I still do, but... vengeance is a promise to a memory. Finding this girl's family is a promise to a living person."
Sue had to bite her tongue to hide her emotions. The Earl might not have thought anything of it, but there was still too much at stake to blow it with a moment of weakness.
"So you would escape this killer by crossing?"
"That is not my motive, but it would be a happy accident, if so. I promised myself to deal with the matter of vengeance only if I had no other choice but to deal with it, rather than pursue it actively."
"Alright," the Earl said. "I will grant permission to cross, provided you can pass the test."
Sue could hardly believe her ears. It was everything she wanted, and yet... "What of the passport fee?" she asked, nearly kicking herself as she realized what she'd just said.
"To be honest, my good lady, the two of you may be the best thing that has happened to Hound these past five years. I'm willing to pay the cost out of my own pocket, though the fee's really just a deterrent to keep the majority of uninitiated from crossing."
Her heart soared. It was coming together so well-
"When do we take the test?" Hound asked.
The Earl stood. "I can give you the test now, but I would prefer it if you could stay a day or two, so I can have some of the guards tutor you on it. Believe me that we do have a bit of an emotional stake in your success, so I would like it if you could pass on the first try."
"Yes, my liege," they said in unison.
Coughing, the Earl walked over to a cabinet at one side of the chamber, opening it and removing several sheets of paper. He took some pens from a can sitting on top of the cabinet, then returned to the table where they were sitting. "These are the forms to apply for crossing. As Hound is a native of Thadliste Serif, he will be applying for a visa as well. I assume, my good lady, because you know where the girl's family lives, you are from The Other Side and simply need a new passport?"
"That is correct, my liege," she acknowledged.
"What happened to the passport you used to cross?"
"My mother had it, but I don't know where she is right now. We had a falling out a long time ago."
His eyes were scrutining. "A shame, my good lady. I believe the relationship between a mother and daughter is the most important one there is. Mothers bring life into the world and nurture it, and for one woman not to pass down her own nurturing to her daughter is a crime."
"I don't mean to complain in light of your generosity, my liege," Sue said with all of the calm she could muster, "but my relationship with my family is not on trial."
He nodded. "I know. I just believe it doesn't reflect well on either of you if you were driven out by a failure to see eye to eye."
"It had to do with coming to Thadliste Serif in the first place. It is a fine nation, but I miss my homeland."
The Earl threw up his hands in mock defeat. "That's fine, my good lady. I don't need to know your entire life's story." He returned to the papers before him. "I do, however, need to know what basic information is required to fill out the necessary paperwork."
"Of course, my liege."
"If you've been living here and no longer have your passport, you may now be considered a citizen of Thadliste Serif, so we'll have to have you apply for a visa as well-but let's do the girl's first. What's her name?"
Sue frowned in embarrassment. She had never called the girl by anything but "pest" before.
The Earl was astonished. "You don't know her name?" He shook his head in disapproval. "That won't do. All passports require the holder's name. Besides, it's bad for her self-esteem not to know an identity."
"Fine," Sue conceded, looking at Hound. "What do we call her?"
"Princess," he said, beaming.
The Earl snorted. "Dear boy, if the girl actually turns out to be a princess, I dread the day I would have to address her. Could you imagine 'The Earl of Earl'?" He laughed in amusement, sitting upright. "What is her family's name, at least?"
Sue balked, feeling uncomfortable. "The family is very private, my liege. I'm afraid that it would embarrass them greatly to have it made public knowledge that the child is traveling without them, and with those outside the family."
He frowned. "More so than having it known she was abandoned?"
"I don't know the reason she was brought here, my liege, but I wish to contest this with the family, not the government of this fair nation."
The Earl snorted in disgust. "Still, that won't do. Here now, I've always wanted a daughter-from hence forth, the girl will be known as Lady Heather of the House of Grey, and any discrepancies may be taken up with me. How's that?"
It felt presumptuous of the Earl to claim her as his daughter, but if that's what it took, so be it. "A fine choice, my liege," Sue agreed.
"Good," he laughed, continuing down the form. "How about age? I don't suppose you know her actual birthday, but what's a good estimate?"
"She's just about three."
"That true? She's getting pretty big for her age, then!"
"Indeed."
"Hmm... The rest of this I can fill out myself. Oh, here, I'll let you fill out the form on your own, my lady. Are you planning to stay there, once you cross?"
"If possible."
"Very well, then."
He handed her one of the forms, an immigration petition. It was frustrating having to put down The Secret Treasure as her permanent address, but she hoped it wouldn't be from that point on.
"I don't know my alien number," she commented.
"That's fine. I'll assign one for each of you."
She returned the form to the Earl. He glanced over it and seemed astonished by what he read.
"Aside?" he asked. "By chance, are you related to Reg?"
She grimaced, her tail becoming brushy. "I had hoped to travel discreetly," she said. "He's my father."
"I understand now, my lady. Don't worry, I have no quarrel with your reasons. Are you planning to see your father when you cross, then?"
"I had been thinking about it, yes."
He smiled in earnest. "It must have been heartbreaking to have been separated from your father for so long."
She nodded. "I have made do." Sue wondered how much longer this would take-it was hard being so polite and calm about family matters.
A low bell echoed through the hallways. "Ah, I see it is time for supper," the Earl noted. "You no doubt require room and board for the night, correct? I absolutely insist that you join me for our evening repast."
All things considered, it was impossible-and stupid-to refuse. "Of course, my liege."
The Earl led them out of the chamber and down a set of hallways to the grand dining room. "Sit anywhere you like," he offered. "Plenty of space for everyone! There is also a washroom through this doorway if you would like to get a bit cleaned up before the meal. Alas, I must leave you temporarily, but be assured I willl return for the main course, ho ho."
He disappeared down another hallway as they chose their seats. Sue took the girl to the washroom to fix her up a bit, dismayed at the state of her own hair following several days without a proper bath. She returned to find they were now joined by the two eavesdroppers, which Sue forced herself to bear with silent patience. "This is the Lady Ariana of Gregory," the Earl introduced, "and her guard Sir Evan."
"A pleasure to meet you," Sue lied. "You may call me Sue."
"It is my honour," Hound declared, bowing. "I am Lord Hound of the kol B'Sedek Province."
The lady's and guard's reactions were quite unexpected. Ariana seemed to fight back an outburst as she curtsied, and Evan looked beyond disappointed as he bowed. "'Tis good ta make yeh acquaintance," the guard said, though Sue found herself a bit thrown by his thick accent.
"Aye," said Ariana. "We wish yeh good fehtune in crossing."
"Thank you," Sue replied.
Supper passed without particular incident, though it was difficult to tell from their casual conversation just what the two Gregors were hiding. Sue's gut told her that they could be trouble if left unchecked though, to her relief, neither Hound nor the Earl seemed to pay much attention to either of them the entire time.
Still, after supper, Sue caught Evan by himself, despite her better judgment. "A word with you if I may, good sir," she whispered.
The guard gave her a strange look but conceded. "Aye, m'lady?"
"Might I ask why the good lady Ariana is acting so strangely? If I'm not imposing, I mean."
The hesitation in his voice suggested he was calculating his words as carefully as Sue had chosen hers these past days. "M'lady 'as lost 'er child," he explained with a heavy heart. "Th' gal tha's in yeh care makes 'er wish fer 'er own children, 'specially as 'er noble line'll soon end wit' 'er."
"I see," Sue replied with forced sympathy. Where were all these people when the little pest was first foised upon her? "I am deeply sorry for her loss. If I weren't obligated to cross, I might leave the girl in your-"
"Nay, don' be sayin' such thin's," Evan scolded. "Wot yeh 'ave ta do 'as nothin' ta do wit' us, an' m'lady an' ah won' 'ear of anythin' of the sort any'ow. We asked ta join yeh t'night only 'cause we were close ta 'Ound in the past, even if 'e don' remember us anymore."
Sue perked her ears. "How close?"
Evan frowned, staring with a distant gaze at the forlorn lady disappearing down the hallway. "Not close 'nough, 'tseems."
It bothered her being pushed into another layer of secrets and little things left unsaid. They must have had their reasons, as she had, but now she was an accessory to their scheme. Further, it was clearly not good, or why would they keep it a secret? It only served to make her more self-conscious about her own.
"I'm sorry if our arrival has troubled you," she apologized, deciding not to go for the bait.
"Nay, m'lady. Though 'tis like a slap in the face, 'tis per'aps feh the bettah in the en'. M'lady an' ah will get 'long, some'ow."
Good. Don't press the issue, don't rock the boat. "Well, I thank you for your time all the same, good sir."
Evan bowed. "Good evenin', m'lady."
Though in the Earl's eyes they were a family, he nevertheless put Sue and the girl into a different room from Hound, and when she thought to protest, Sue found she couldn't put words to it. It was frustrating to spend so much time with the girl, guardian or not-Sue didn't feel like she had anything to say to her, and the girl didn't seem bothered to be left alone with her doll. Further, having a separate room seemed to worsen the situation instead of doing anything to make her feel any better, despite her initial thoughts. Every time she thought she would finally tell him everything, finally come clean, something came up and made her change her mind again-being placed into a separate room, for instance.
It didn't help that she didn't know him well enough to know whether he would hate her for not telling him sooner. There was a lot hinging on his continued devotion, things that wouldn't be made better by his knowing the things she knew.
Worse than that, she found she missed his presence. It was easy to blame it on fear, that he was her ticket to cross and, without him, she was trapped in another dead end, but when she dreamt, it was of her homeland, of being lost in the big city and not knowing anyone and not having anything and being surrounded by the same big, scary men who-
She awoke with a start, trembling. It was the same any time she slept alone, and it made her feel weak to be dependent on the very thing she feared most. Twenty years later, it still hurt, still caused her suffering. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she lay back in bed, but it was just too overwhelming, and she couldn't sleep.
She got up and put on one of the guest robes, walking to the door. The girl was still fast asleep, despite Sue's nightmare, and she figured it would be okay to leave her there... just for a little while, right?
The hallway was eerie this late at night, especially by candlelight. Sue hurried down the hall to Hound's room, pounding on the door. Each moment that passed unanswered was torturous, until it finally opened.
"What is it, Sue?" he asked, groggy.
Words left her. She had no idea how to tell him anything, no idea what this feeling was in her heart. As she pushed her way inside, stopping only to put down her candlestick, she threw herself at Hound. They fell onto his bed with a shudder-
It repulsed her. It allured her. It was all she knew. Though she had done it a thousand times before, it was still the most difficult thing she had ever done. Yet he pushed her away.
"Sue," he whispered, confused by her actions.
"Why don't you want me?" she whimpered, on the verge of tears.
He changed his grip from holding at arm's length to holding close in a tender embrace. "I do want you, but you don't want me."
"How can you say that?"
"How you're acting-I don't know what it is, but it's not love."
Sue felt angry. "How do you know what love is?"
"Because it's what I feel for you."
The words were stinging. It shamed her to have treated him as just another one of her customers, especially when the very act made her feel dirty and cheap. Was that what was so special about him, that he withheld what he wanted most because he admired her, cherishing-not ignoring-her every flaw?
It was still so much for her to take. Just looking into his eyes sent so many mixed signals it was too difficult to bear. Even after what they'd been through the past few days, it was too hard to forget her ill feelings toward the drifter with a head full of dreams and pockets full of lint who dared to claim her as his own, and she couldn't overcome the feeling that fate itself was pressing them together against her will... or bending to it?
"Hound," she muttered.
"Yes?"
"Do you regret how your life's turned out?"
As Sue gazed deep into his eerie, mismatched eyes, settling unconsciously on the sharp scar crossing his forehead and cheek, Hound grinned with a radiance that betrayed the ugliness marring his face.
"I met you, didn't I?"
Though it cost ten crowns to do so, Sue bought a carriage to the Earl Bergamot's castle. She hoped seeing the Earl would work out to their advantage, though she had to admit that it couldn't possibly hinder their progress any more than throwing their money to the beggars would. Still, it was better than walking, and she wanted to avoid much more of that.
They arrived in just under two days, just before the sun set on the Earl's castle. It was awe-inspiring to see it in person, even for someone who was tired of kingdom life.
One of the castle guards met their carriage at the gates. "What is your business with the Earl?"
"We seek permission to cross to The Other Side," Sue explained.
"Do you have an appointment?"
"I was told hardships could be granted in special cases. Will the Earl hear our case or not?"
"Who is asking?"
"Lord Hound of kol B'Sedek," Hound interrupted.
The guard gave Hound a once-over, considering this with great interest. "I shall notify the Earl of your arrival."
Sue shot Hound a smile of appreciation. Perhaps this would work out after all!
The three disembarked from the carriage and were escorted into the courtyards. If time hadn't been a concern, she would have enjoyed taking in the sights, perhaps exploring every nook and cranny like a small child might. As it was, her attentioned remained focused on the task at hand, though the usual paranoia loomed in the back of her mind. It made her wonder who was really the lost child here.
As the guard led them into the great hall, Sue was astonished to see so many people filling the room. She hadn't realized they would have the entire court as audience to their hardship case. Two of the court in particular, she noticed, paid great attention to them.
"Lord Hound," the Earl greeted, "it is good to see you again! How fare you in your quest?"
"If you mean the quest to avenge my family, I've put it on hold."
Some members of the court stirred at the news. "Do I hear you correctly, my boy?" he asked with notable interest. "You now have greater priorities than vengeance?"
"I mean the greatest of respect toward my family, my liege, but no vengeance will bring them back, no matter when I may extract it. Time is of the essence, however-we must cross to The Other Side."
"We...?" The Earl scratched his chin in what appeared to Sue to be amusement. "Well, you came to me to present your case, and I am your captive audience."
Hound bowed in earnest. "This child was abandoned by her father and left in this good lady's care. She knows the family has crossed to The Other Side but cannot manage the trip by herself."
"Why can the child not be sent alone?"
Sue worried this would ruin everything. She cleared her throat, trying to make herself sound as authoritative yet straightfoward as possible. "The girl is only three years old. She has known almost no other guardian but myself, and she is deathly afraid of strangers. It would kill her to be separated from me, much less travel without my presence."
The Earl seemed to consider this. "Then why would Lord Hound need to accompany you, my good lady?"
"Because I promised her I would," he interrupted, "and I wish to honour my word."
Murmurs spread among the members of the court, and it made Sue self-conscious. Certainly the girl didn't like it any more than she did, from how tightly the pest was latching onto her shirt. "My liege, if I may ask," she ventured, "is it possible to gain a private audience... or at least, a smaller one?"
The Earl nodded, standing. "Usually I do take cases myself, but my lord here has been in the habit of making a scene."
She glared at Hound, to which he could only shrug, dumbfounded.
"If the three of you will follow me," the Earl ordered, lumbering toward a side chamber of the great hall. He paused before two of the court, a lady and her guard, speaking with them at an inaudible level. Sue remembered them as the ones particularly interested in their case, more so than the other members of the court. As they approached, however, the two quieted and stepped aside to let them pass. Sue could tell they had a deeper interest than mere gossip, though, and it made her wary.
"Hound," the Earl said as he closed the doors behind them and each took a seat, "I'm interested in knowing just what has happened in these years since I last saw you that has changed your mind as it has. You're almost twenty-one now, aren't you?"
"Yes, my liege, though I must admit I truthfully can't remember the last time we met."
"My boy!" he remarked. "Your father took the greatest pride in telling me you had a perfect memory! How could it be you don't remember crashing into my hall and declaring you wanted to cross in pursuit of your family's killer?"
The expression on Hound's face suggested that he was trying to remember this incident, despite the fact he couldn't. "You see, my liege, a little over a year ago, I received a near-fatal blow to the head. I don't remember anything prior to that event, and everything I know now is the result of a little over a year of learning everything again."
The room fell into an awkward silence at his words. "Dear boy, but that means-"
"-I don't remember my family, no." It was clear the Earl had trouble processing this information. He started to say something, but Hound interrupted again. "Who is at the door, my liege? I don't mind if they overhear, but it would be more polite to be invited in."
"Ah." The Earl smirked in discomfort. "You don't remember them, it seems, but they remember you. You could hardly blame us if we feel concerned for your behaviour. After all, your life in the last five years hasn't exactly been what any of us could consider normal, right?"
"I suppose not, my liege."
"Well, in any case, I'll get straight to the point. What you said is the truth-vengeance will not change the past or bring back the dead. What of the future, though? What do you see coming of accompanying this girl and her guardian to The Other Side?"
"I see the honour of fulfilling my word and promise, my liege. No more, no less."
"What are you going to do upon finding this girl's family?"
Hound paused, as though pondering his words, and Sue found herself having to look away. "If possible, I would like to stay with her until she is properly acclimated... even if it means until death."
The Earl raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Are you speaking of the girl... or her guardian?"
Hound remained silent. Sue was starting to wish she hadn't asked for a private audience.
"I don't mean to say it would be a bad decision, my boy," the Earl prompted. "Perhaps it will be good for you, should you pass the test. I just find it hard to believe you would pursue vengeance so violently, then turn straight around and travel an entirely different course."
"My liege, when I learned of my past life, of the old Hound..." He swallowed in discomfort before continuing. "I had a happy life before I learned who I was. Finding out destroyed that happiness. Even when I wanted to pretend I had never been who I was, my past came back to haunt me in the form of that killer, and I had to throw away that life in order to spare the family who raised me.
"Even if I don't pursue that killer, he will still try to kill me, as he believes I want to kill him. I still do, but... vengeance is a promise to a memory. Finding this girl's family is a promise to a living person."
Sue had to bite her tongue to hide her emotions. The Earl might not have thought anything of it, but there was still too much at stake to blow it with a moment of weakness.
"So you would escape this killer by crossing?"
"That is not my motive, but it would be a happy accident, if so. I promised myself to deal with the matter of vengeance only if I had no other choice but to deal with it, rather than pursue it actively."
"Alright," the Earl said. "I will grant permission to cross, provided you can pass the test."
Sue could hardly believe her ears. It was everything she wanted, and yet... "What of the passport fee?" she asked, nearly kicking herself as she realized what she'd just said.
"To be honest, my good lady, the two of you may be the best thing that has happened to Hound these past five years. I'm willing to pay the cost out of my own pocket, though the fee's really just a deterrent to keep the majority of uninitiated from crossing."
Her heart soared. It was coming together so well-
"When do we take the test?" Hound asked.
The Earl stood. "I can give you the test now, but I would prefer it if you could stay a day or two, so I can have some of the guards tutor you on it. Believe me that we do have a bit of an emotional stake in your success, so I would like it if you could pass on the first try."
"Yes, my liege," they said in unison.
Coughing, the Earl walked over to a cabinet at one side of the chamber, opening it and removing several sheets of paper. He took some pens from a can sitting on top of the cabinet, then returned to the table where they were sitting. "These are the forms to apply for crossing. As Hound is a native of Thadliste Serif, he will be applying for a visa as well. I assume, my good lady, because you know where the girl's family lives, you are from The Other Side and simply need a new passport?"
"That is correct, my liege," she acknowledged.
"What happened to the passport you used to cross?"
"My mother had it, but I don't know where she is right now. We had a falling out a long time ago."
His eyes were scrutining. "A shame, my good lady. I believe the relationship between a mother and daughter is the most important one there is. Mothers bring life into the world and nurture it, and for one woman not to pass down her own nurturing to her daughter is a crime."
"I don't mean to complain in light of your generosity, my liege," Sue said with all of the calm she could muster, "but my relationship with my family is not on trial."
He nodded. "I know. I just believe it doesn't reflect well on either of you if you were driven out by a failure to see eye to eye."
"It had to do with coming to Thadliste Serif in the first place. It is a fine nation, but I miss my homeland."
The Earl threw up his hands in mock defeat. "That's fine, my good lady. I don't need to know your entire life's story." He returned to the papers before him. "I do, however, need to know what basic information is required to fill out the necessary paperwork."
"Of course, my liege."
"If you've been living here and no longer have your passport, you may now be considered a citizen of Thadliste Serif, so we'll have to have you apply for a visa as well-but let's do the girl's first. What's her name?"
Sue frowned in embarrassment. She had never called the girl by anything but "pest" before.
The Earl was astonished. "You don't know her name?" He shook his head in disapproval. "That won't do. All passports require the holder's name. Besides, it's bad for her self-esteem not to know an identity."
"Fine," Sue conceded, looking at Hound. "What do we call her?"
"Princess," he said, beaming.
The Earl snorted. "Dear boy, if the girl actually turns out to be a princess, I dread the day I would have to address her. Could you imagine 'The Earl of Earl'?" He laughed in amusement, sitting upright. "What is her family's name, at least?"
Sue balked, feeling uncomfortable. "The family is very private, my liege. I'm afraid that it would embarrass them greatly to have it made public knowledge that the child is traveling without them, and with those outside the family."
He frowned. "More so than having it known she was abandoned?"
"I don't know the reason she was brought here, my liege, but I wish to contest this with the family, not the government of this fair nation."
The Earl snorted in disgust. "Still, that won't do. Here now, I've always wanted a daughter-from hence forth, the girl will be known as Lady Heather of the House of Grey, and any discrepancies may be taken up with me. How's that?"
It felt presumptuous of the Earl to claim her as his daughter, but if that's what it took, so be it. "A fine choice, my liege," Sue agreed.
"Good," he laughed, continuing down the form. "How about age? I don't suppose you know her actual birthday, but what's a good estimate?"
"She's just about three."
"That true? She's getting pretty big for her age, then!"
"Indeed."
"Hmm... The rest of this I can fill out myself. Oh, here, I'll let you fill out the form on your own, my lady. Are you planning to stay there, once you cross?"
"If possible."
"Very well, then."
He handed her one of the forms, an immigration petition. It was frustrating having to put down The Secret Treasure as her permanent address, but she hoped it wouldn't be from that point on.
"I don't know my alien number," she commented.
"That's fine. I'll assign one for each of you."
She returned the form to the Earl. He glanced over it and seemed astonished by what he read.
"Aside?" he asked. "By chance, are you related to Reg?"
She grimaced, her tail becoming brushy. "I had hoped to travel discreetly," she said. "He's my father."
"I understand now, my lady. Don't worry, I have no quarrel with your reasons. Are you planning to see your father when you cross, then?"
"I had been thinking about it, yes."
He smiled in earnest. "It must have been heartbreaking to have been separated from your father for so long."
She nodded. "I have made do." Sue wondered how much longer this would take-it was hard being so polite and calm about family matters.
A low bell echoed through the hallways. "Ah, I see it is time for supper," the Earl noted. "You no doubt require room and board for the night, correct? I absolutely insist that you join me for our evening repast."
All things considered, it was impossible-and stupid-to refuse. "Of course, my liege."
The Earl led them out of the chamber and down a set of hallways to the grand dining room. "Sit anywhere you like," he offered. "Plenty of space for everyone! There is also a washroom through this doorway if you would like to get a bit cleaned up before the meal. Alas, I must leave you temporarily, but be assured I willl return for the main course, ho ho."
He disappeared down another hallway as they chose their seats. Sue took the girl to the washroom to fix her up a bit, dismayed at the state of her own hair following several days without a proper bath. She returned to find they were now joined by the two eavesdroppers, which Sue forced herself to bear with silent patience. "This is the Lady Ariana of Gregory," the Earl introduced, "and her guard Sir Evan."
"A pleasure to meet you," Sue lied. "You may call me Sue."
"It is my honour," Hound declared, bowing. "I am Lord Hound of the kol B'Sedek Province."
The lady's and guard's reactions were quite unexpected. Ariana seemed to fight back an outburst as she curtsied, and Evan looked beyond disappointed as he bowed. "'Tis good ta make yeh acquaintance," the guard said, though Sue found herself a bit thrown by his thick accent.
"Aye," said Ariana. "We wish yeh good fehtune in crossing."
"Thank you," Sue replied.
Supper passed without particular incident, though it was difficult to tell from their casual conversation just what the two Gregors were hiding. Sue's gut told her that they could be trouble if left unchecked though, to her relief, neither Hound nor the Earl seemed to pay much attention to either of them the entire time.
Still, after supper, Sue caught Evan by himself, despite her better judgment. "A word with you if I may, good sir," she whispered.
The guard gave her a strange look but conceded. "Aye, m'lady?"
"Might I ask why the good lady Ariana is acting so strangely? If I'm not imposing, I mean."
The hesitation in his voice suggested he was calculating his words as carefully as Sue had chosen hers these past days. "M'lady 'as lost 'er child," he explained with a heavy heart. "Th' gal tha's in yeh care makes 'er wish fer 'er own children, 'specially as 'er noble line'll soon end wit' 'er."
"I see," Sue replied with forced sympathy. Where were all these people when the little pest was first foised upon her? "I am deeply sorry for her loss. If I weren't obligated to cross, I might leave the girl in your-"
"Nay, don' be sayin' such thin's," Evan scolded. "Wot yeh 'ave ta do 'as nothin' ta do wit' us, an' m'lady an' ah won' 'ear of anythin' of the sort any'ow. We asked ta join yeh t'night only 'cause we were close ta 'Ound in the past, even if 'e don' remember us anymore."
Sue perked her ears. "How close?"
Evan frowned, staring with a distant gaze at the forlorn lady disappearing down the hallway. "Not close 'nough, 'tseems."
It bothered her being pushed into another layer of secrets and little things left unsaid. They must have had their reasons, as she had, but now she was an accessory to their scheme. Further, it was clearly not good, or why would they keep it a secret? It only served to make her more self-conscious about her own.
"I'm sorry if our arrival has troubled you," she apologized, deciding not to go for the bait.
"Nay, m'lady. Though 'tis like a slap in the face, 'tis per'aps feh the bettah in the en'. M'lady an' ah will get 'long, some'ow."
Good. Don't press the issue, don't rock the boat. "Well, I thank you for your time all the same, good sir."
Evan bowed. "Good evenin', m'lady."
Though in the Earl's eyes they were a family, he nevertheless put Sue and the girl into a different room from Hound, and when she thought to protest, Sue found she couldn't put words to it. It was frustrating to spend so much time with the girl, guardian or not-Sue didn't feel like she had anything to say to her, and the girl didn't seem bothered to be left alone with her doll. Further, having a separate room seemed to worsen the situation instead of doing anything to make her feel any better, despite her initial thoughts. Every time she thought she would finally tell him everything, finally come clean, something came up and made her change her mind again-being placed into a separate room, for instance.
It didn't help that she didn't know him well enough to know whether he would hate her for not telling him sooner. There was a lot hinging on his continued devotion, things that wouldn't be made better by his knowing the things she knew.
Worse than that, she found she missed his presence. It was easy to blame it on fear, that he was her ticket to cross and, without him, she was trapped in another dead end, but when she dreamt, it was of her homeland, of being lost in the big city and not knowing anyone and not having anything and being surrounded by the same big, scary men who-
She awoke with a start, trembling. It was the same any time she slept alone, and it made her feel weak to be dependent on the very thing she feared most. Twenty years later, it still hurt, still caused her suffering. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she lay back in bed, but it was just too overwhelming, and she couldn't sleep.
She got up and put on one of the guest robes, walking to the door. The girl was still fast asleep, despite Sue's nightmare, and she figured it would be okay to leave her there... just for a little while, right?
The hallway was eerie this late at night, especially by candlelight. Sue hurried down the hall to Hound's room, pounding on the door. Each moment that passed unanswered was torturous, until it finally opened.
"What is it, Sue?" he asked, groggy.
Words left her. She had no idea how to tell him anything, no idea what this feeling was in her heart. As she pushed her way inside, stopping only to put down her candlestick, she threw herself at Hound. They fell onto his bed with a shudder-
It repulsed her. It allured her. It was all she knew. Though she had done it a thousand times before, it was still the most difficult thing she had ever done. Yet he pushed her away.
"Sue," he whispered, confused by her actions.
"Why don't you want me?" she whimpered, on the verge of tears.
He changed his grip from holding at arm's length to holding close in a tender embrace. "I do want you, but you don't want me."
"How can you say that?"
"How you're acting-I don't know what it is, but it's not love."
Sue felt angry. "How do you know what love is?"
"Because it's what I feel for you."
The words were stinging. It shamed her to have treated him as just another one of her customers, especially when the very act made her feel dirty and cheap. Was that what was so special about him, that he withheld what he wanted most because he admired her, cherishing-not ignoring-her every flaw?
It was still so much for her to take. Just looking into his eyes sent so many mixed signals it was too difficult to bear. Even after what they'd been through the past few days, it was too hard to forget her ill feelings toward the drifter with a head full of dreams and pockets full of lint who dared to claim her as his own, and she couldn't overcome the feeling that fate itself was pressing them together against her will... or bending to it?
"Hound," she muttered.
"Yes?"
"Do you regret how your life's turned out?"
As Sue gazed deep into his eerie, mismatched eyes, settling unconsciously on the sharp scar crossing his forehead and cheek, Hound grinned with a radiance that betrayed the ugliness marring his face.
"I met you, didn't I?"