being a senior resident sucks
Being a senior resident sucks, especially early in the year when your interns are new and don't know how to get things done yet.
Also, it's really grating on you when you've been working 15 hour days 6 days a week (not including call) since July 1 and the below happens, reminding us that Asians are always lowest on the totem pole of the racial spectrum. We're invisible, we're foreign, and we're not a big enough voting block to get things changed in this country.
I was in clinic this morning, running late because the nurses check in (get vitals, etc) all my patients late, and I call my last patient- who I'm seeing even though a) he's shows up half an hour late to his appointment, b) it's already noon and I'm supposed to be at my required lecture at noon and c) I've never seen this patient before, so I'm pretty much have 2 minutes to skim through his 100 page chart (since March) before calling him into the room?
First complaint: I don't want to shake your hand. I'm Muslim. I don't shake hands.
Fine. Smile still on face, in spite of belly rumble.
Second complaint: Why did I have to wait so long?
Explain, apologize profusely for things. Smile still on face. What can I do for you today/why are you here?
And then he goes on to say the following: Why don't you know why I'm here? You're not my normal doctor. I normally see an Irish guy. Why don't you know anything about me? Why am I seeing you? Why can't you work your machine (computer) to tell you why I'm here? Why do I have to tell you why I'm here? Fine I'll be nice and tell you I had my blood drawn.
So it turns out that the guy has a subtherapuetic INR (he has an arrhythmmia and needs to be on a blood thinner and is being followed by the PHARMACIST - not a doctor- and his level is low and therefore is at a higher risk to stroke out), HIV, and is here to follow up since he has no primary doctor. Then he says the following-
I don't feel comfortable with Asian doctors. I don't care what that machine shows. I don't want you adjusting my coumadin. I'd rather die from a stroke than listen to anything you say. Did you know it was Barack Obama's birthday yesterday? Don't you know we have a BLACK man in the White House? And do you even know who Michelle Obama is? She's a beautiful BLACK lady.
And I'm thinking- really? Barack Obama is not black (he's mixed race, you mother fucker). He fucking grew up in Indonesia, Hawaii and went to Punahoe (are there non Asians who go to Punahoe), then Harvard (um, how are we doing with the underrepresenation with non Asians there?). 2 years on the South Side apparently makes him black, but hey, what do I know about the experience of black people? Apparently, not enough.
So that's about all I can take, so I say very professionally and nicely that I want things to be safe for him, and I will go look for another doctor to treat him since he is at a higher risk for stroke right now, and he's agreeable to this. I staff him with my attending, and 5 minutes later, when my attending (white authoritative man that my attending is) goes looking for him, he's gone.
Maybe he just has really bad PTSD and hates Asian people. Fine, so I didn't call him out on this racism or make the ultimatum like my colleauges would have about seeing me or just rescheduling.
But I'm tired, exhausted, and have to deal with this shit?
Yet another reason why I will never support universal health care, because in the end, I think that health care is a privilege, and some people just aren't worthy of that privilege. In fact, I would rather deal with all my murdering prisoners (since the GI service right now is all prisoners with IBD) than deal with able-bodied people who can't see past themselves, because at least they're grateful for my 5 minutes.
Also, it's really grating on you when you've been working 15 hour days 6 days a week (not including call) since July 1 and the below happens, reminding us that Asians are always lowest on the totem pole of the racial spectrum. We're invisible, we're foreign, and we're not a big enough voting block to get things changed in this country.
I was in clinic this morning, running late because the nurses check in (get vitals, etc) all my patients late, and I call my last patient- who I'm seeing even though a) he's shows up half an hour late to his appointment, b) it's already noon and I'm supposed to be at my required lecture at noon and c) I've never seen this patient before, so I'm pretty much have 2 minutes to skim through his 100 page chart (since March) before calling him into the room?
First complaint: I don't want to shake your hand. I'm Muslim. I don't shake hands.
Fine. Smile still on face, in spite of belly rumble.
Second complaint: Why did I have to wait so long?
Explain, apologize profusely for things. Smile still on face. What can I do for you today/why are you here?
And then he goes on to say the following: Why don't you know why I'm here? You're not my normal doctor. I normally see an Irish guy. Why don't you know anything about me? Why am I seeing you? Why can't you work your machine (computer) to tell you why I'm here? Why do I have to tell you why I'm here? Fine I'll be nice and tell you I had my blood drawn.
So it turns out that the guy has a subtherapuetic INR (he has an arrhythmmia and needs to be on a blood thinner and is being followed by the PHARMACIST - not a doctor- and his level is low and therefore is at a higher risk to stroke out), HIV, and is here to follow up since he has no primary doctor. Then he says the following-
I don't feel comfortable with Asian doctors. I don't care what that machine shows. I don't want you adjusting my coumadin. I'd rather die from a stroke than listen to anything you say. Did you know it was Barack Obama's birthday yesterday? Don't you know we have a BLACK man in the White House? And do you even know who Michelle Obama is? She's a beautiful BLACK lady.
And I'm thinking- really? Barack Obama is not black (he's mixed race, you mother fucker). He fucking grew up in Indonesia, Hawaii and went to Punahoe (are there non Asians who go to Punahoe), then Harvard (um, how are we doing with the underrepresenation with non Asians there?). 2 years on the South Side apparently makes him black, but hey, what do I know about the experience of black people? Apparently, not enough.
So that's about all I can take, so I say very professionally and nicely that I want things to be safe for him, and I will go look for another doctor to treat him since he is at a higher risk for stroke right now, and he's agreeable to this. I staff him with my attending, and 5 minutes later, when my attending (white authoritative man that my attending is) goes looking for him, he's gone.
Maybe he just has really bad PTSD and hates Asian people. Fine, so I didn't call him out on this racism or make the ultimatum like my colleauges would have about seeing me or just rescheduling.
But I'm tired, exhausted, and have to deal with this shit?
Yet another reason why I will never support universal health care, because in the end, I think that health care is a privilege, and some people just aren't worthy of that privilege. In fact, I would rather deal with all my murdering prisoners (since the GI service right now is all prisoners with IBD) than deal with able-bodied people who can't see past themselves, because at least they're grateful for my 5 minutes.