(no subject)
there is a downcast of geniuses in my family who will smile or frown &let you know that you will never have another friend quite like them. i have this eerie connection to my mother’s side of the lineage. my father is mastermind to multiple degrees, but everything he did was so calculated &meticulous. numbers are my nemesis; whenever I see them, I automatically draw quick complementary images of hypothetical fascist reigns. politics of the family? i laugh to myself uncomfortably about how “math made me a feminist” while I watch my mother pay my college bills &hate the world for my hypocrisy.
went to my mom's sister 70th surprise birthday on Saturday. this is incrediably terrifiying, being as my mom herself is only nine years younger &her brother died two years ago at that age. my aunt has the same charisma i'd imagine that a dorothy parker would. of all the epic intellectuals in my mom's family, i have always found her especially captivating. not because of her passion fly through the things my mom &i cannot (fluently master eleven languages, ability to answer all the questions of jeopardy, the ability to maintain& change volatile marriages). i hate to make the analogy, but she almost reminds me of the 21rst century sylvia plath. i don't really know what it is though. the feeling i get at these family happenings is always especially intense.