The Candy Man Can!
I actually sent this letter to the lovely people at Nestlé:
Candy Creators,
Hello! My fellow colleague and I were discussing theories behind the existence of God late one night (it was a topic in a lecture of hers). At one point, I brought up Jacques Derrida's theories, which she was unfamiliar with, and she called me a lifesaver. Quickly, the conversation turned to the Heaven that is your product of the same name.
Then, I noticed your slogan: "The Candy With The Hole." We both had ourselves a good laugh over how that leaves so much to be desired. Consider "The Candy With A Hole Lot of Flavor," or "A Hole Lot Of Happiness," or even "They Make You Feel Hole." On second thought, I take back that last idea!
But there is one slogan I am especially fond of, and I can thank our discussion of St. Thomas Aquinas for the idea. Ready?
LIFESAVERS
HOLE-IER THAN THOU!
I was so thrilled with the idea that I eagerly went to your website so I could share it with you. It was then that my colleague said "Well, whatever floats your boat." Lightning struck my brain twice!
LIFESAVERS
WHEN YOUR BOAT DON'T FLOAT!
What do you think? Please be brutally honest!
"Sweet"ly Yours,
Jeffrey James Stearns
You can thank my "colleague" Kelly Francisco for her part in helping to create both new slogans!
Originally I signed this with the title Professor because I think a professional response would be a lot funnier. I can still always change it because it turns out the letter needs to be sent to Kraft Foods instead of Nestlé
Candy Creators,
Hello! My fellow colleague and I were discussing theories behind the existence of God late one night (it was a topic in a lecture of hers). At one point, I brought up Jacques Derrida's theories, which she was unfamiliar with, and she called me a lifesaver. Quickly, the conversation turned to the Heaven that is your product of the same name.
Then, I noticed your slogan: "The Candy With The Hole." We both had ourselves a good laugh over how that leaves so much to be desired. Consider "The Candy With A Hole Lot of Flavor," or "A Hole Lot Of Happiness," or even "They Make You Feel Hole." On second thought, I take back that last idea!
But there is one slogan I am especially fond of, and I can thank our discussion of St. Thomas Aquinas for the idea. Ready?
LIFESAVERS
HOLE-IER THAN THOU!
I was so thrilled with the idea that I eagerly went to your website so I could share it with you. It was then that my colleague said "Well, whatever floats your boat." Lightning struck my brain twice!
LIFESAVERS
WHEN YOUR BOAT DON'T FLOAT!
What do you think? Please be brutally honest!
"Sweet"ly Yours,
Jeffrey James Stearns
You can thank my "colleague" Kelly Francisco for her part in helping to create both new slogans!
Originally I signed this with the title Professor because I think a professional response would be a lot funnier. I can still always change it because it turns out the letter needs to be sent to Kraft Foods instead of Nestlé