68.
I have been spending time thinking recently.
The world I have left behind surely continues to move on without my presence, and I know that I have failed in avenging my father and grandfather. Yet, in that failure I have found happiness for myself, and for Sango. Is this wrong? In any event, our line is continuing, so I suppose it's not a complete failure, is it? Just because I no longer have the ability to slay Naraku...
I find myself wondering about InuYasha, Kagome, Shippou, and Kirara, and how they must be faring without Sango or myself there. It must be strange to return after coming here, but I'm very sure they're doing absolutely fine on their own. They're capable - And really, if Father and Grandfather are sore with me for not killing Naraku, then they can be pleased with Kagome and InuYasha, because I'm sure they will do it. Someday, I want to see them again... They can take their time, though. It's not as if I'm going anywhere. I know, however, that Sango has unfinished business in our world, and from her nature I'm sure she will be unable to let go of it unless InuYasha, Kagome, or someone else came here and gave word that her family and people were avenged. I understand why and respect that, but it frightens me all the same. The thought of her leaving pains me so much I can scarcely breathe. I have always been a selfish man, but never more selfish than when it comes to Sango.
When she dresses, I have noticed that her belly has already begun to swell, and it warms my heart more than I could ever describe. Despite all the poor talk this city gets, despite the bad and unusual things that do happen here and the very nature of this place, it's possibly the most peaceful, stable period of my life since my father passed. Death no longer trails two steps behind me, and I haven't fought anything in all the time I've been here. At home, the threats of war, famine, and disease were near constant in some areas. I know here, any children produced will not have to worry about those things. Our children will not lose their mother or father to a bandit's sword, will not want for food or medicine. I have no qualms about raising a child here, and look forward to it eagerly - Indeed, my impatience grows with each passing day. We have a long, long way to go yet, but... Hah! I have always been impatient, too, haven't I~?
...It's almost morning. I should probably go back to bed before Sango wakes up.