and so it is..
Every day tends to be a test for me. Whether it be to make it to the next day or accoplish worlds, I'm pushed. Today I felt quite stuck knowing that not much can be done about my moving situation. I believe that the sooner I'm out of this nasty house the sooner I'll feel "ok". Last night while sitting on a building roof downtown inbetween sips of wine my friend micheal asked me what it was I wanted most that I think about by myself and rarley, if ever, speak of. Not my goals or aspirations, more along the lines of what REALLY makes you bite at your nails. It was such a broad question that might require some thought...but after only a few short moments I responded with how I just wanted to feel ok. Of course I know what this means to myself and all of the hundreds of ways it could be broken down or percieved, but that was it. I woke up today and drove myself to some apartments I'd checked out about a month before I moved into this shithole, and felt it could be home for awhile. ..the colder water