(no subject)
fuuuuuuuuuuccccccccckkkkkkkk
That's really the only thing I could think. I found out that my brother is getting sent to Iraq in October. I spent all day yesterday going back and forth between wanting to be alone, and needing to be around other people. Being around Bree helped because her boyfriend is over there now, so I know she gets it. But all those smiles and I'm sorry's don't make me any less afraid of losing my little brother to a cause neither of us believes in. I had some major ups and downs yesterday but when I was up and laughing and having a great time, I felt guilty because I thought that I should perhaps be worrying more. As if I don't worry enough about things as it is....
I guess I've just got a lot of stuff going on and this week is pretty hectic. I just wish that I could sleep through it all. I'm starting to second guess everything I do and if it's worth the effort I put into it from school to OutThere to the conference. Am I really accomplishing anything? What the hell's the point?
My prozac isn't working.
That's really the only thing I could think. I found out that my brother is getting sent to Iraq in October. I spent all day yesterday going back and forth between wanting to be alone, and needing to be around other people. Being around Bree helped because her boyfriend is over there now, so I know she gets it. But all those smiles and I'm sorry's don't make me any less afraid of losing my little brother to a cause neither of us believes in. I had some major ups and downs yesterday but when I was up and laughing and having a great time, I felt guilty because I thought that I should perhaps be worrying more. As if I don't worry enough about things as it is....
I guess I've just got a lot of stuff going on and this week is pretty hectic. I just wish that I could sleep through it all. I'm starting to second guess everything I do and if it's worth the effort I put into it from school to OutThere to the conference. Am I really accomplishing anything? What the hell's the point?
My prozac isn't working.