(no subject)
I'm so lonely i can't even explain it
Work is interesting, challenging, and fun. But it's very very long hours, and I'm already tired after only two days, which doens't bode well for the next 13. People have finally arrived, but out of 30 rooms, there are only about 6 or 7 girls on my floor. It feels so empty here. I miss my room mate, and being able to talk to somebody whenever I had something to say. I miss being able to have some kind of sound in my room besides my own typing, and I miss my friends that I've never been without in all my time in Pittsburgh. I miss Andy so much that it hurts to think about him sometimes. But I can't not think about him, because I'm here in our city, where everything I see is something we've seen together. Every building, tree, street corner, even the bums on the sidewalk, have a thousand memories tied to Andy. Looking at the pictures of us on the wall are bringing me closer and closer to tears every time I look at them. I tried taking them down earlier, but then I'm just sitting in an empty room, looking at empty walls, and getting even more depressed. I've been spending time with the people around here, but it's not the same. There is no easy friendship amongst us. We sit together and talk, but it's because we don't want to sit in our rooms, not because we want to hang out with eachother. Everyone is nice enough, but no one is really looking for a friend.
I might go to Rick and Jane's this weekend. (for those that don't know, rick is my father's best friend from grade school. he and his wife live in Pittsburgh, and they moved me out last week). They offered to let me stay with them, and I don't know if I can refuse. Two days spent with clean showers, real friends, comfortable scenery, and a bed that I don't have to pole vault into, not to mention two adorable kittens, just sounds SO much nicer then the thought of spending those two days by myself. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude, but it's SO hard. I just want to go home. No, I don't even want that. I just want someone to be here with me. Anybody- Andy or Laura or Tori or Jenn... 19 days left here. 11 days until Tori comes home, and we can hang out. 27 days until I'll see Andy again. I don't know if I can do this :(
Work is interesting, challenging, and fun. But it's very very long hours, and I'm already tired after only two days, which doens't bode well for the next 13. People have finally arrived, but out of 30 rooms, there are only about 6 or 7 girls on my floor. It feels so empty here. I miss my room mate, and being able to talk to somebody whenever I had something to say. I miss being able to have some kind of sound in my room besides my own typing, and I miss my friends that I've never been without in all my time in Pittsburgh. I miss Andy so much that it hurts to think about him sometimes. But I can't not think about him, because I'm here in our city, where everything I see is something we've seen together. Every building, tree, street corner, even the bums on the sidewalk, have a thousand memories tied to Andy. Looking at the pictures of us on the wall are bringing me closer and closer to tears every time I look at them. I tried taking them down earlier, but then I'm just sitting in an empty room, looking at empty walls, and getting even more depressed. I've been spending time with the people around here, but it's not the same. There is no easy friendship amongst us. We sit together and talk, but it's because we don't want to sit in our rooms, not because we want to hang out with eachother. Everyone is nice enough, but no one is really looking for a friend.
I might go to Rick and Jane's this weekend. (for those that don't know, rick is my father's best friend from grade school. he and his wife live in Pittsburgh, and they moved me out last week). They offered to let me stay with them, and I don't know if I can refuse. Two days spent with clean showers, real friends, comfortable scenery, and a bed that I don't have to pole vault into, not to mention two adorable kittens, just sounds SO much nicer then the thought of spending those two days by myself. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude, but it's SO hard. I just want to go home. No, I don't even want that. I just want someone to be here with me. Anybody- Andy or Laura or Tori or Jenn... 19 days left here. 11 days until Tori comes home, and we can hang out. 27 days until I'll see Andy again. I don't know if I can do this :(