So here it is i'm an asshole!
So much to say, yet where to begin?
Well as many of you may know, i have been seeing a guy named Matthew. A guy that i think is so great. Someone that grasps my attention and keeps it. He is so wonderful and perfect. I have not a bad thing to say about him. You know that guy that you feel like you waited for your whole life? Well, that's him. The one that you feel and want to share a lifetime with. Someone to cherish, love, and care for; yet, grow old and die with. That very person you dream of building a house with. Well, again that's my Matthew. Well, i should say "was" my Matthew and wish he was still so :-( ! Matthew and I broke-up today. The whole thing happened so quickly and weird. I'm still waiting to wake-up from a dream. Hoping to have him in my arms holding him once again. Looking into his beautiful eyes and telling him how gorgeous they are and how much i do care about him and love him. Feeling that warmth that very few can offer. I want that back, with him. I miss him and it hasn't been a day. :-( What can i say, I'm in love with him and wished he knew that. I just wished there was someway to express the love i possess for him. The love that foreshadows my heart when i look into his beautiful eyes, and the pounding of my heart when he says "I Love You!" If there's one thing that i do know for sure, it is that i do love Timothy Matthew Kittrell!!!! I know i made mistakes, maybe a lot. Some that i saw, many i am sure i didn't notice. Why? Cause i believe we all take things differently. Which is sometimes a good thing, but other times a bad thing. Have you ever wished that you could just take back some of the words you have said, or something that you may have done? Well, that's me. I wished i could take back everything i said that may have hurt him, our relationship, or pissed him off. I never intended to do any of that nor did i or do i want to. A person that i care for, as much as i care for Matthew, i don't hurt or dissatisfy on purpose. Cause it's just that. You mean too much to me to want to hurt or to ever think about hurting. Matthew, i am sorry for everything i have done to hurt you, to piss you off, to make you not like me, to ruin our relationship, to whateva the case may be. If you don't like it or didn't like it.. I am very very sorry and i ask you to please forgive me. Despite what may have happened between us my heart still says i love you tremendously. That my feelings for you is reality. It isn't something you can just forget about or get over. It isn't that easy. My feelings are sooooo strong for you that it makes me sick to eat, i can't stop thinking about you, i can't imagine another minute/second/day without you Matthew. I can't stand not talking to you. You are everything to me Matthew because you are "YOU"! I just hope and pray that God will convince your heart and maybe show you the deepness of my love for you and that you will find it in your heart to forgive me. I'm sorry Matthew.
Love,
Chris
"I Dedicate this song to that someone Special, 'Matthew'."
Pussycat Dolls
"Stickwitu"
Ohhh.. Oh Oh..
I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you, exactly what is on my mind
Seems as like everybody is breaking up
and throwing their love away
But I know I got a good thing right here
That's why I say (Hey)
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you, exactly what is on my mind
See the way we ride, in our private lives
Ain't nobody gettin' in between
I want you to know that, your the only one for me
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
And now, ain't nothing else I can need
And now, I'm singing.. 'cause your so, so into me
I got you, we'll be making love endlessly
I'm with you, baby you're with me
So don't cha worry about
people hanging around
they ain't bring us down
I know you, and you know me
and that's all that counts
So don't cha worry about
people hanging around
they ain't bring us down
I know you, and you know me
and that's why, that's why I say
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
Well as many of you may know, i have been seeing a guy named Matthew. A guy that i think is so great. Someone that grasps my attention and keeps it. He is so wonderful and perfect. I have not a bad thing to say about him. You know that guy that you feel like you waited for your whole life? Well, that's him. The one that you feel and want to share a lifetime with. Someone to cherish, love, and care for; yet, grow old and die with. That very person you dream of building a house with. Well, again that's my Matthew. Well, i should say "was" my Matthew and wish he was still so :-( ! Matthew and I broke-up today. The whole thing happened so quickly and weird. I'm still waiting to wake-up from a dream. Hoping to have him in my arms holding him once again. Looking into his beautiful eyes and telling him how gorgeous they are and how much i do care about him and love him. Feeling that warmth that very few can offer. I want that back, with him. I miss him and it hasn't been a day. :-( What can i say, I'm in love with him and wished he knew that. I just wished there was someway to express the love i possess for him. The love that foreshadows my heart when i look into his beautiful eyes, and the pounding of my heart when he says "I Love You!" If there's one thing that i do know for sure, it is that i do love Timothy Matthew Kittrell!!!! I know i made mistakes, maybe a lot. Some that i saw, many i am sure i didn't notice. Why? Cause i believe we all take things differently. Which is sometimes a good thing, but other times a bad thing. Have you ever wished that you could just take back some of the words you have said, or something that you may have done? Well, that's me. I wished i could take back everything i said that may have hurt him, our relationship, or pissed him off. I never intended to do any of that nor did i or do i want to. A person that i care for, as much as i care for Matthew, i don't hurt or dissatisfy on purpose. Cause it's just that. You mean too much to me to want to hurt or to ever think about hurting. Matthew, i am sorry for everything i have done to hurt you, to piss you off, to make you not like me, to ruin our relationship, to whateva the case may be. If you don't like it or didn't like it.. I am very very sorry and i ask you to please forgive me. Despite what may have happened between us my heart still says i love you tremendously. That my feelings for you is reality. It isn't something you can just forget about or get over. It isn't that easy. My feelings are sooooo strong for you that it makes me sick to eat, i can't stop thinking about you, i can't imagine another minute/second/day without you Matthew. I can't stand not talking to you. You are everything to me Matthew because you are "YOU"! I just hope and pray that God will convince your heart and maybe show you the deepness of my love for you and that you will find it in your heart to forgive me. I'm sorry Matthew.
Love,
Chris
"I Dedicate this song to that someone Special, 'Matthew'."
Pussycat Dolls
"Stickwitu"
Ohhh.. Oh Oh..
I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you, exactly what is on my mind
Seems as like everybody is breaking up
and throwing their love away
But I know I got a good thing right here
That's why I say (Hey)
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you, exactly what is on my mind
See the way we ride, in our private lives
Ain't nobody gettin' in between
I want you to know that, your the only one for me
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
And now, ain't nothing else I can need
And now, I'm singing.. 'cause your so, so into me
I got you, we'll be making love endlessly
I'm with you, baby you're with me
So don't cha worry about
people hanging around
they ain't bring us down
I know you, and you know me
and that's all that counts
So don't cha worry about
people hanging around
they ain't bring us down
I know you, and you know me
and that's why, that's why I say
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u